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"cognizant" poems
Her presence cannot be denied, She stands tall and strong with pride; You cannot overlook her magnitude, Because she has beauty with attitude; What a woman, What a woman indeed, What a strong Black woman, For her just even be. She defines the essence of perfection, In each notable fashion without exception; Highly cognizant of her forefather and mothers, Therefore she paves paths for so many others, What a woman, What a woman indeed, What a strong Black woman, Even for a crazy world to see. Her smile is like heaven's gate open, Bringing joy to all who are chosen; A lady of strength beyond any measure, And a heart too big for one person for treasure; What a woman, What a woman indeed, What a strong Black woman, Who wound up inspiring me.
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Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC
Strong Black Woman
I. The Mermaid I am six years old, and I am obsessed with Ariel from The Little Mermaid-- she is, by far, my favourite Disney Princess. I want to be exactly like her-- hair billowing in red swirls around a heart-shaped face and eyes so blue they put the very ocean to shame (my sister has blue eyes too, you know, and, to this day, I still envy her, for her eyes are the loveliest characteristic of her Beauty-- and believe me, there are many); purple clam shells vibrant against porcelain-doll skin and fully blossomed ******* (in three years from now, I will begin to grow ***** elementary-school style, over-ripe. B Cups going on C cups fated to become D Cups, plum-sized in comparison to the budding mosquito bites of my fellow classmates. Barely a child, womanhood threatens to sexualize my girlish body before I truly know what sexualization is); fins cutting through the water gracefully in all their green, iridescent glory (little did I know that, as I grew older, "cutting" would adopt a far more sinister meaning in the context of my life). But, despite my admiration for Ariel, I fail to understand her desire to abandon her under-sea rendezvous, sunken treasures, oceanic melodies to "be where the people are." This lack of approval I foster exists due to the fact that I am a firm believer of the magic the aquatic realm (and Disney) has to offer. To this day, I continue to maintain my stance-- that Ariel had been terribly wrong in the choices she made-- but I have become cognizant of different (and better) reasons to argue my position; after all, and as a cartoon crab had so wisely declared once, "The human world-- it's a mess."
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Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 10:29 PM UTC
I, Ophelia (Part One--The Mermaid)
I. The Mermaid I am six years old, and I am obsessed with Ariel from The Little Mermaid-- she is, by far, my favourite Disney Princess. I want to be exactly like her-- hair billowing in red swirls around a heart-shaped face and eyes so blue they put the very ocean to shame (my sister has blue eyes too, you know, and, to this day, I still envy her, for her eyes are the loveliest characteristic of her Beauty-- and believe me, there are many); purple clam shells vibrant against porcelain-doll skin and fully blossomed ******* (in three years from now, I will begin to grow ***** elementary-school style, over-ripe. B Cups going on C cups fated to become D Cups, plum-sized in comparison to the budding mosquito bites of my fellow classmates. Barely a child, womanhood threatens to sexualize my girlish body before I truly know what sexualization is); fins cutting through the water gracefully in all their green, iridescent glory (little did I know that, as I grew older, "cutting" would adopt a far more sinister meaning in the context of my life). But, despite my admiration for Ariel, I fail to understand her desire to abandon her under-sea rendezvous, sunken treasures, oceanic melodies to "be where the people are." This lack of approval I foster exists due to the fact that I am a firm believer of the magic the aquatic realm (and Disney) has to offer. To this day, I continue to maintain my stance-- that Ariel had been terribly wrong in the choices she made-- but I have become cognizant of different (and better) reasons to argue my position; after all, and as a cartoon crab had so wisely declared once, "The human world-- it's a mess."
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68
Help me be humble and modest Lord. Bless the work that I do and let me do good things not so people notice me, rather I do them with a pure heart so as to give glory and honor to you and to help those who are in need. Help me remember the good feeling and the reward I get by helping those in need, especially those who cannot repay me. The gift of their smile, their gratitude and the knowledge that I have made a difference and potentially changed someone's life is a reward far greater, more permanent, and longer lasting than any amount of money or accolades could ever have. Allow me not to become pompous and inflated when I am successful or praised. Remind me when I am tempted to do so that the gift I have been given comes first from you. Help me also to be appropriately gracious and thankful when I am praised or rewarded and keep me cognizant of the fact that, while it is ok to be rewarded for your work, it should never be the main reason for our work.
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Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
Humble Prayer
Marooned Vapid beauty of this room Frothing carpet, ocean blue One wall me, the other you What lies between is residue Scribed on soggy, shipwrecked parchment Questions asked, time forgotten Who are we? What do we know? Into these questions Summer flows And thrashes at your Autumn’s brinks Yearlong they torment my brain Infringing on every season If not for the manic scheme To love and having loved be loved This correspondence to a distant land With stars, more numerous and brightly lit Than my burgeoning highway exit Would by no means have left my hand But if, against all odds, it will prevail Extolling truth’s folly, my sorrowful tale Quells with reason my groundless pride At having docked on your passionless harbor Unloading platonic cargo during our youth’s ebbing tide Must not create union of body or mind You swallow my horizon, like the sun twilight Though, one need not chase that orange orb for tomorrow In this night without fortitude, lewd humor consumes me Singing with the mouth on my head and your voice inside I plunge into darkness Skimming its silky surface Before zipping it behind me Shall I drown, as I have lived? In vain, my dreams your subjects Taken for ransom in your heart’s Tripoli Not surmising recompense, I forfeit this A note belying resonance Of my heart’s last echoed throe One desperate effort, giving up Feed every vestige to the void Wading, torso encumbered Each sullen relic of your memory Falls to the deep’s frigid ebony Then, only too late am I cognizant That my own breath is tribute yet spent Therefore if I were to float or swim I’d give you every ounce of who I am Convince you to relinquish me From your tepid, spurning sea Then lying beneath moist underbrush Slowly, breathe no more
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Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010 at 4:24 PM UTC
Marooned
Marooned Vapid beauty of this room Frothing carpet, ocean blue One wall me, the other you What lies between is residue Scribed on soggy, shipwrecked parchment Questions asked, time forgotten Who are we? What do we know? Into these questions Summer flows And thrashes at your Autumn’s brinks Yearlong they torment my brain Infringing on every season If not for the manic scheme To love and having loved be loved This correspondence to a distant land With stars, more numerous and brightly lit Than my burgeoning highway exit Would by no means have left my hand But if, against all odds, it will prevail Extolling truth’s folly, my sorrowful tale Quells with reason my groundless pride At having docked on your passionless harbor Unloading platonic cargo during our youth’s ebbing tide Must not create union of body or mind You swallow my horizon, like the sun twilight Though, one need not chase that orange orb for tomorrow In this night without fortitude, lewd humor consumes me Singing with the mouth on my head and your voice inside I plunge into darkness Skimming its silky surface Before zipping it behind me Shall I drown, as I have lived? In vain, my dreams your subjects Taken for ransom in your heart’s Tripoli Not surmising recompense, I forfeit this A note belying resonance Of my heart’s last echoed throe One desperate effort, giving up Feed every vestige to the void Wading, torso encumbered Each sullen relic of your memory Falls to the deep’s frigid ebony Then, only too late am I cognizant That my own breath is tribute yet spent Therefore if I were to float or swim I’d give you every ounce of who I am Convince you to relinquish me From your tepid, spurning sea Then lying beneath moist underbrush Slowly, breathe no more
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51
I drift lifeless in this weary night Not cognizant of these dark ways A tear in my eye blurs my sight Souvenir of bright, beautiful days I hear the sound of leaves, dry Crushed like my life, torn apart Like a soft, muffled cry I hear their echo in my heart I turned around with a firm belief Of someone in this way unknown But the sight multiplied my grief An empty road with a shadow of my own I looked up at the moon profound Prepared I was to shout aloud At this happiness I just found When she hid behind a chunk of cloud
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Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 7:48 AM UTC
Walking Alone on an Empty Road
Can I gently lure myself into your life?   Make you feel as you’re forever in my arms, when you’re alone in bed at night? Whisper all the sweet words into your ear until I see you slowly and slowly fall into my deception and lies Make all things that’s wrong feel ever so right May I lead you into my home and gently place you on my bed Look straight into your eyes and speak words of significant meaning As if they wore worthless and dead Can I bring comfort into your heart? I’ll make you feel so loved and serene I’ll disguise myself as being the man of your dreams While I prey on my next victim to control and lead astray In the same manner I lit up your light blue sky, I'll make em truly dark and gray Can I drag you into my deceit, forcing you to make me the center of your life? Can I pretend to love you and untruthfully envision you as my wife? Portraying to be your blessing, Disguising the hidden lesson I‘ll make you fall so deeply in love with me That you will have to pray with all of your might For the Lord to bring you out of the darkness and make everything vivid and bright Can I take you on pointless dates and sit through meaningless movies and earn my way between your legs? Cognizant that this bond means loyalty and trust to you so I’ll take it slow and just **** you instead Can I make you believe that I AM the man that can protect you from all the hurt that this world can bring? Then I WILL up and leave you  on a beautiful day without any logic reasoning Why? Because I seen a woman with more beautiful eyes. I seen a lady that smelled as sweet as a rose. I seen a gorgeous woman with a smaller nose. I seen a lady with a beautiful body and attitude so fierce. I seen a woman with a smile that'd burn the sun and hair flowing past her ears. I tricked you into developing such love for me that, I took it from your mind to love yourself I display myself as a perfect man, so you wouldn’t go and fall for someone else Like a thief in the night I snuck in your life in the mist of you lying hopeless I played your Knight in Shining Armor because I knew you were a Damsel in Distress Your weaknesses, I feed on until I began to bore myself of fraud When I seen that love was all you needed I valuated my hand Weighed my decisions And I played my cards                               Copy Right 2013                                     ©Patty Ann
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 8:57 AM UTC
"Played"
Can I gently lure myself into your life?   Make you feel as you’re forever in my arms, when you’re alone in bed at night? Whisper all the sweet words into your ear until I see you slowly and slowly fall into my deception and lies Make all things that’s wrong feel ever so right May I lead you into my home and gently place you on my bed Look straight into your eyes and speak words of significant meaning As if they wore worthless and dead Can I bring comfort into your heart? I’ll make you feel so loved and serene I’ll disguise myself as being the man of your dreams While I prey on my next victim to control and lead astray In the same manner I lit up your light blue sky, I'll make em truly dark and gray Can I drag you into my deceit, forcing you to make me the center of your life? Can I pretend to love you and untruthfully envision you as my wife? Portraying to be your blessing, Disguising the hidden lesson I‘ll make you fall so deeply in love with me That you will have to pray with all of your might For the Lord to bring you out of the darkness and make everything vivid and bright Can I take you on pointless dates and sit through meaningless movies and earn my way between your legs? Cognizant that this bond means loyalty and trust to you so I’ll take it slow and just **** you instead Can I make you believe that I AM the man that can protect you from all the hurt that this world can bring? Then I WILL up and leave you  on a beautiful day without any logic reasoning Why? Because I seen a woman with more beautiful eyes. I seen a lady that smelled as sweet as a rose. I seen a gorgeous woman with a smaller nose. I seen a lady with a beautiful body and attitude so fierce. I seen a woman with a smile that'd burn the sun and hair flowing past her ears. I tricked you into developing such love for me that, I took it from your mind to love yourself I display myself as a perfect man, so you wouldn’t go and fall for someone else Like a thief in the night I snuck in your life in the mist of you lying hopeless I played your Knight in Shining Armor because I knew you were a Damsel in Distress Your weaknesses, I feed on until I began to bore myself of fraud When I seen that love was all you needed I valuated my hand Weighed my decisions And I played my cards                               Copy Right 2013                                     ©Patty Ann
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40
elephants stomp with stone-laden feet back and forth, back and forth, creating cracks in my already-battered skull, weakening the very foundations of my sanity. their trumpeting echoes through cold corridors flooding my thought capacity to the brim. a tightrope walker stretches me, thin - i feel the shifting pressure of her nimble feet treading the territories of my weathered frame, back and forth, back and forth, my skin reddens beneath the incessant crossing as the sinew within me starts to atrophy. in my chest cavity there is a ring of fire, manipulating my lungs and feeble heart to mere ash. two golden eyes seen beyond the flames, ready to leap through them - without the inconvenience of fear weighing down his agile paws, both capable and likely to tear my veins to shreds. a grisly strongman has my bones in his grip. he smiles malevolently, gloating his strength over me, squeezing the life from my cartilage - awaiting the snap. i am cognizant of the sound, but i won't flinch. next, the imminent collapse of my vertebrae - i feel them crumble to dust. he laughs. but it is in the pit of my stomach the ringleader sits - commanding me into subsidence with every crack of his whip. i want to meet his eyes but he only averts my gaze. his twisted circus nearly through, the audience begins to dissipate. i stare through the blurred smoke, desperate for his visage - when i see on one of his faded lapels, the embroidery spells out your name. -m.f.
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Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 12:03 AM UTC
welcome to the circus
It was my best friend who asked me what I'd choose to be in my next incarnation. Honestly, she caught me completely off guard, intellectually dumbfounded by a prospect I'd never considered, nor felt I deserved. That night I wracked my brain searching for a suitable chakra from which to derive an answer. I know she believes everything is renewed, so, deferring to her convictions, I chose a jaguar, as suitable for my solitary way. She's always had a knack for surprising my existence, deflecting the metaphysical, steering for spiritual shores. I recognize this power she exudes, though she dismisses me. The jaguar I'm evolving divinely subsumes her virtues, is cognizant of the heroine from Mumbai ashrams. I'd like to tell you I hear rumblings in the sky, that there's a certain path beneath my feet, but my destiny eludes all outward signs, striving for that inner love that has no name.
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Oct 28, 2012
Oct 28, 2012 at 11:44 PM UTC
Ontology for a Nameless Tao
I wish i could reverse The cure i accidentally Placed on you This tests my waters every time i think about it I just want you to be remain unscathed While you continue your life without anymore pain I'm always relentless on being cognizant with people's feelings But when i mess up, i guess it's jackpots for Satan. I'm so sorry I feel worse than any Saturday morning cartoon villain can ever aspire to be.
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Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 7:30 PM UTC
I Wish I Could Reverse
I. Still thriving beyond immaculate walls. Tincturing the water that solemnly streams in the river, I await the corner of grassy marshes, and Gather your secret spells. In days when the land is prey to rhythmic beats; The water dances with disturbance. I run through the meadow barefoot, and Cast the sun-dried bricks beyond me. The red Moon drowns in woeful bliss, while Its jealous relative illuminates the dew on Morning petals. I glare through my destruction; And see your silhouette. Torn bridges of yesterdays misfortune send Violent waves forth, undying they proceed. Bravely-- they despondently conquer me; No longer a trace of you I see. II. Unable to grasp reality, bitter Tears of a Bright knowledge no longer in possession. Red yonder, cognizant of former tribulations Appear among the contour of wilted trees Desperately searching for extraneous disposal, Only melted clay reflects the ruins of an icy marsh. Spring is obscure; but inevitable. Soon harvest shall return to the field, And barren no more will the land be. No longer riddles, or secret spells; Greet the stream of lost memories. Impairment heals itself; it weaves Filaments of seconds- to create a Labyrinth of Time.
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Oct 8, 2012
Oct 8, 2012 at 2:35 AM UTC
Partition of Light
After the things that we have been through, Never did I see that you choose to be alone; To not love another man for the things I did Is wrong, because your love is so very placid. I know that I misunderstood, But you cannot dismiss man who is good. Now I am cognizant of the sacrifices you made, And it is far too late for us to build on knowing; You have good men now who always appreciate The love can offer by the way they were glowing. I think that I had to be crazy, But there are men who worship their lady. I just misunderstood you Miss Understanding, You cannot be that broken to what God is planning; Please do not do what I did to you others too, Because I was misunderstanding Miss Understanding. Your heart is golden and your soul is priceless, I may have taken your smile for granted over mine, Because what you deserve is love at it nicest, So allow yourself to open up someone who is kind. I see that I was not your equal, But not all the men in this world are evil. There is a good man outside your door of fate, All you have is unlock it and let him in from the rain; He is drenched like I had you, feeling the weight Of my lies, your tears, my cheating, and your pain. I hear that you have found better, But you have to get yourself back together. I just misunderstood you Miss Understanding, You cannot be that broken to what God is planning; Please do not do what I did to you others too, Because I was misunderstanding Miss Understanding. I apologize for those harsh lies I told, Now go get that man who fills your soul.
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Mar 4, 2014
Mar 4, 2014 at 11:08 AM UTC
Misunderstanding Miss Understanding
After the things that we have been through, Never did I see that you choose to be alone; To not love another man for the things I did Is wrong, because your love is so very placid. I know that I misunderstood, But you cannot dismiss man who is good. Now I am cognizant of the sacrifices you made, And it is far too late for us to build on knowing; You have good men now who always appreciate The love can offer by the way they were glowing. I think that I had to be crazy, But there are men who worship their lady. I just misunderstood you Miss Understanding, You cannot be that broken to what God is planning; Please do not do what I did to you others too, Because I was misunderstanding Miss Understanding. Your heart is golden and your soul is priceless, I may have taken your smile for granted over mine, Because what you deserve is love at it nicest, So allow yourself to open up someone who is kind. I see that I was not your equal, But not all the men in this world are evil. There is a good man outside your door of fate, All you have is unlock it and let him in from the rain; He is drenched like I had you, feeling the weight Of my lies, your tears, my cheating, and your pain. I hear that you have found better, But you have to get yourself back together. I just misunderstood you Miss Understanding, You cannot be that broken to what God is planning; Please do not do what I did to you others too, Because I was misunderstanding Miss Understanding. I apologize for those harsh lies I told, Now go get that man who fills your soul.
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34
White girl in the room , are you cognizant of the epilogue prior to it's revelation ? Do people lose their minds when they see their grave ? Will peanut butter **** my craving tonight , orange sunshine , scraped out of the *** , put in the corner of your eye ? Delirium tremens , psychotic cravings , tantric *** , after shave poured through a loaf of bread ! Shoot my arm , legs , collapsed vein in my neck ? Shoot every one till there's not anyone left ! Your head held high ? You'd run your fingers through dog **** for a piece of her tonight !
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Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 9:26 PM UTC
Gorilla in the Room
Grasping vagrancy in one's child Most simplistic act is not Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild Suffered soul the abyss caught Crucible ever prevails fraught Futile remedy ailment breeds Posturing all heedless things Neglecting primal earthly needs Harsh inebriant trappings Averse entirely lucid pleads Clamping malady straining chest Wakeful blackness vanished days Clutched slight suckling babe at my breast Cast tears enduring malaise Reflection of having caressed Tragic sustinence chosen vile Sighted resolves not to see Relentless self imposed exile Indifferent to love me Offer life to capture a smile Grasping vagrancy in one's child Cognizant of special spot An alternative to beguiled Alter processes of thought I am needing to know she fought
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Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:01 PM UTC
Grasping at Straws
Within us there is a world unseen Where a young spirit seeks to know The voice he begins to hear each day As His passion for life now grows He will begin to make tough choices As the voices within become so alive Leaving him to seriously ponder daily Which choice might be wrong or right For everything he attempts each day Alone with the choices his heart will make Will deeply affect the life road he chooses And within his spirit will now be at stake Inside the voices strive for dominance Like two hungry wolves over a tasty meal And with the choices which are made in life One gives a blessing while the other kills We must always seek to be very cognizant Of the choices each day which are made So when the end time appears in our lives By the Name of Jesus we are forever saved.
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Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 6:33 PM UTC
His Sweet Name
The earth’s been our playground, beautiful and vast. A utopian world on which the human race was cast. In the sliver of time, we’ve been an industrial culture We’ve preyed on her resources like a ravenous vulture. A carnivore hunting for bigger and fatter game, All in the guise of improving and seeking for fame. Inventors create contraptions and devices, Never bothering to notice how much smaller the ice is. Carbon is aplenty, spewing forth in filthy emission Ozone suffering from man with limited vision. Many animals hunted to extinction, and more on the way Ecologists fight to be heard, to government's policies sway Our waters suffer abuse and lose their purity Advances in culture, lend earth no security Oil and garbage circle the earth killing the wildlife off it, Inventions and efforts to save us, offer no profit. Efforts must be made to lower and stop pollution   All species soon will be dead without a solution. Let’s work together and help clean mother earth. What’s our future generations’ health really worth? A partner we should be, and not a voracious parasite, We are cognizant beings; we should know to do what’s right. Love the earth, give back more than you take, Do it now, do it fast, for our children’s sake.
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May 4, 2010
May 4, 2010 at 6:55 AM UTC
Mother Earth
I sat and I waited for you with my skin crawling many nights I looked into the mirror and I didn't recognize her She was someone new Someone desperate and broken into a million pieces The Culprit Was You you brought forth misery wrapped expertly with a bright red bow camouflaged and putrid with your tarnishing love it was a beautiful trick I must admit you are quite the magician you created trust transformed it to dust then made it disappear with the blink of an eye you forced love to die with no arrangement of a funeral I sat and I waited many nights I contemplated on ways to make it even closure is what I needed but my love for you was too strong and you made it cry the mistreatment you delivered made love die but my heart still beats and still I remained broke, busted, and disgusted All of my fortitude invested in you and you imposed it upon me such potent ammunition in your grasp you controlled me to be your slave while you swam nights in vain I stayed in and prayed for direction for protection I would pray that your heart would fall into my hands and God told me to be patient but I can't every moment had to be filled with you you are my filling and I was your crown pauperized by love's cavity sleepless nights indulged by the whispers of my mind painting sweet stories covered and blurry except my focal point was set on you my thoughts left me at times in spite of you I didn't bother to pursue how foolish of me I was stupid in love with you meta-morphed to ignorance in-cognizant of my worth   I left it at the creek in my dream where I sat in thirst where I washed my hands in the glistening water and laid my worries in the white snow but in reality you know my inner child only you see my inner core so tell me how could I love someone else? who could ever love me more? than the man who knows me. in and out your the man who accepts me out and in your the man who adore me internal and skin consequently there's no love in me to love another again                                 Copy Right 2014                                      ©Patty Ann
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Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 12:09 PM UTC
In and Out
I sat and I waited for you with my skin crawling many nights I looked into the mirror and I didn't recognize her She was someone new Someone desperate and broken into a million pieces The Culprit Was You you brought forth misery wrapped expertly with a bright red bow camouflaged and putrid with your tarnishing love it was a beautiful trick I must admit you are quite the magician you created trust transformed it to dust then made it disappear with the blink of an eye you forced love to die with no arrangement of a funeral I sat and I waited many nights I contemplated on ways to make it even closure is what I needed but my love for you was too strong and you made it cry the mistreatment you delivered made love die but my heart still beats and still I remained broke, busted, and disgusted All of my fortitude invested in you and you imposed it upon me such potent ammunition in your grasp you controlled me to be your slave while you swam nights in vain I stayed in and prayed for direction for protection I would pray that your heart would fall into my hands and God told me to be patient but I can't every moment had to be filled with you you are my filling and I was your crown pauperized by love's cavity sleepless nights indulged by the whispers of my mind painting sweet stories covered and blurry except my focal point was set on you my thoughts left me at times in spite of you I didn't bother to pursue how foolish of me I was stupid in love with you meta-morphed to ignorance in-cognizant of my worth   I left it at the creek in my dream where I sat in thirst where I washed my hands in the glistening water and laid my worries in the white snow but in reality you know my inner child only you see my inner core so tell me how could I love someone else? who could ever love me more? than the man who knows me. in and out your the man who accepts me out and in your the man who adore me internal and skin consequently there's no love in me to love another again                                 Copy Right 2014                                      ©Patty Ann
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99
i am a robot a cognizant machine powered by electricity and programmed from birth regurgitating how to think dress act talk by television monitors Salvation is dividing by 0 Originality 404: page not found Error               Err0r The perplexing complexities To translate in text unnerving absurdity Indexing apex If ever I were so politely inclined to initiate self-destruct sequence in 5... 4... 3... 2...
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Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 10:41 AM UTC
Does not compute
*Sitting in abeyance. My life on perpetual hold; the cold air forcing me to hunch up for warmth. Another cigarette... I ****** the packet lovingly, opening and closing the lid, spinning and revolving the box like a precious stone. I think about my father. Memories, scrambling for admission, into my hall of fame. The bad ones, constantly slashing, constantly stabbing. The jagged blade of guilt. He could be difficult, but my desperation for acceptance, made me difficult too. Tears fighting for freedom, I shield my face by running my fingers through my hair; cigarette still in hand. I return to the ward. I reflect on my father’s now non cognizant state, and although disturbing, I also find it calming and absolute, for he is safe in the labyrinth of his mind, and nothing can hurt him. I hold his hand, and with a final last gasp of inevitability, he is gone. Gone. As I sit back, in my plastic chair, my lugubrious acceptance is numbing. But there is another feeling; one that is so refreshing; so alien; so… shiny and clean. it smashes through my self-induced sedation like a sledge hammer: Liberation.*
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Jun 20, 2010
Jun 20, 2010 at 1:35 AM UTC
Abeyance.
I loved the way the lies Slithered off of her tongue Making me feel like a grown man Even though my actions were young Yeah I was dumb And at the time Dumb was fun That’s until I was overcome With her venom Leaving my body numb Only feeling the after affects Of this meticulous attack Not realizing I was trapped I had become an easy snack Her voice was so seductive Telling me I must eat the fruit Even though I was reluctant I hungered for the truth The knowledge of good and evil Marinated in its juice Lost in the wilderness Because I chose to break this truce Blindly loyal Constricted by her coil Her cold blood warmed As my cool blood boiled Crushing everything that was in me Consuming everything that was left Keeping me alive-Only so I can be Cognizant of this cruel And painful death
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Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012 at 1:19 AM UTC
Ophidiophobia
We took a bus to Wilmington And skipped a dream or two In order to be cognizant— When the “Are we there yet’s” Rebounded void of “yet.” We parked the bus adjacent to The paint-peeling facade Of lonely temple Wilmington— Threatening no demon of the sky With a keenly polished death spike. It had no spendthrift window of Christ Jesus with the sick And poor, neglected derelicts— Who glow with jubilee and gold chloride For His altruistic charities. Across its door was fastened tight A rusted iron chain Which barred the shallow, blinkered souls— Who loitered at the barrier’s feet Waiting on God to warrant entry. But we who were of cogent view Detached deterring catch And entered with our chins ***** A light-bulb-vacant sanctuary Where taciturn shadows took a seat in every pew. And down a velvet aisle stood A lonely, weeping priest Inhaling in unblemished palms— That not a single pious doubter Would dare inspect. “Welcome to my church,” he said With breathless, choking sobs, “I am the congregation here— The pastor, choir, usher, and Sunday school teacher Of Wilmington Church of Reason.” Inquired we what hidden woe Enlaced with torment cast Those salt discharged convulsions— Quaking the sanctity of exultation In the House of Apollo. And with concise, unleavened words He justified his tears And whispered to our weary troop—, “Alone, alone am I, Isolated within this box of omitted truth. “O, give me soothing slumber deep And strip these sentient eyes From ghastly sheaths of consciousness— Repair this mended paradigm, Or tell me that I am mistaken. “Imaginary friends and foes Make wretched hearts a wreath Of roses red and mistletoe— And bird of paradise to keep Hope alive, alive and awake and well, hope alive…” So each of us, a brimming cup Of empathy, remained To keep old pastor Wilmington— Old usher, choir, teacher, congregation Wilmington Alive and awake and well.
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Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011 at 6:09 AM UTC
The Congregation at Wilmington Church of Reason
We took a bus to Wilmington And skipped a dream or two In order to be cognizant— When the “Are we there yet’s” Rebounded void of “yet.” We parked the bus adjacent to The paint-peeling facade Of lonely temple Wilmington— Threatening no demon of the sky With a keenly polished death spike. It had no spendthrift window of Christ Jesus with the sick And poor, neglected derelicts— Who glow with jubilee and gold chloride For His altruistic charities. Across its door was fastened tight A rusted iron chain Which barred the shallow, blinkered souls— Who loitered at the barrier’s feet Waiting on God to warrant entry. But we who were of cogent view Detached deterring catch And entered with our chins ***** A light-bulb-vacant sanctuary Where taciturn shadows took a seat in every pew. And down a velvet aisle stood A lonely, weeping priest Inhaling in unblemished palms— That not a single pious doubter Would dare inspect. “Welcome to my church,” he said With breathless, choking sobs, “I am the congregation here— The pastor, choir, usher, and Sunday school teacher Of Wilmington Church of Reason.” Inquired we what hidden woe Enlaced with torment cast Those salt discharged convulsions— Quaking the sanctity of exultation In the House of Apollo. And with concise, unleavened words He justified his tears And whispered to our weary troop—, “Alone, alone am I, Isolated within this box of omitted truth. “O, give me soothing slumber deep And strip these sentient eyes From ghastly sheaths of consciousness— Repair this mended paradigm, Or tell me that I am mistaken. “Imaginary friends and foes Make wretched hearts a wreath Of roses red and mistletoe— And bird of paradise to keep Hope alive, alive and awake and well, hope alive…” So each of us, a brimming cup Of empathy, remained To keep old pastor Wilmington— Old usher, choir, teacher, congregation Wilmington Alive and awake and well.
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I have seen the wonders of the world in a month of new experience. I have let people in for a change. I have met the kindest, most helpful angel on a road trip off to nowhere. Too gentle for his own good. I have felt the warmth of laughter in the ladies' room while having a smoke. I was walking on clouds. I have heard the focused, resonating silence amidst spaces in a study room. A pin dropped. I have seen the sad, the happy, the lonely, the mighty, the inferior, the hustle, the coziness, and the wind. I have seen it all, my love, and still I remain unimpressed.
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Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 1:11 PM UTC
Cognizant
You're getting into my nerves That I  really observe All the agitations I  reserved Which you do deserved In the game, you're playing dominant well, there's nothing constant I must say you're cognizant Yet undoubtedly arrogant You're seeking so much attention For  your deeds you want recognition We never like it to mention Did you made a good impression? All I want is a sorry Don't make it long like a story You got to be worry If you don't want our friendship to be bury
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Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
Friendship nearly over
The fact of the matter is that you Choose to believe There's no reprieve From this constant, continual... Consistent deceit This contraceptive perception Manifesting what you believe 'What happens once will come again' From that there's no relief That which you take heed from Is imprinted on your skin As if you can't reach within For matters intimate Second guessing and stressing While vacantly sedated Placating under false pretenses -Keeping sated -Faded Like you were the product Of this aftermath Attacking the apt capability Of all you lack -Underhanded In the most subtle approach This perpetual cognizant apparition Of these ghosts Furthermore They boast and beg recognition Putting prescriptions to their name Like defacing prepositions Could well esteem their fame I maintain that I refuse To be a product of the masses Drifting whimsically and making victims From my caprices The end result of my fate Never created hate Only this conditioned position From which I now must escape I'd rather sit Listen and contemplate Than justify my shame I'll take the pain Of my twisted thoughts Before letting them run astray No one pray for me Because I've done this once before And sanction I will find Within this mind Before I hit the floor
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May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 11:46 AM UTC
Victim Mentality
*I hanker myself to find illumination within myself. The more  I  explore, the more  I confront the ineluctable iniquity. Being cognizant of my enmity, I wish to be ignoramus of myself.*
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Jul 25, 2015
Jul 25, 2015 at 1:12 PM UTC
........ cognizance of me......