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"claus" poems
*Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it 'Chops' because that was the name of his dog And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed alot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of X's and he had to ask his father what the X's meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it 'Autumn' because that was the name of the season And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars And left butts on the pews And sometimes they would burn holes That was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed alot And his father never tucked him in bed at night And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it. Once on a paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem And he called it 'Innocence: A Question' because that was the question about his girl And that's what it was all about And his professor gave him an A and a strange steady look And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her That was the year Father Tracy died And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went And he caught his sister making out on the back porch And his mother and father never kissed or even talked And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup That made him cough when he kissed her but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do And at 3am he tucked himself into bed his father snoring soundly. That's why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing' Because that's what it was really all about And he gave himself an A and a slash on each ****** wrist And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn't think he could reach the kitchen*
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Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 2:04 PM UTC
Absolutely Nothing by Osoanon Nimuss
*Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it 'Chops' because that was the name of his dog And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed alot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of X's and he had to ask his father what the X's meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it 'Autumn' because that was the name of the season And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars And left butts on the pews And sometimes they would burn holes That was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed alot And his father never tucked him in bed at night And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it. Once on a paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem And he called it 'Innocence: A Question' because that was the question about his girl And that's what it was all about And his professor gave him an A and a strange steady look And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her That was the year Father Tracy died And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went And he caught his sister making out on the back porch And his mother and father never kissed or even talked And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup That made him cough when he kissed her but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do And at 3am he tucked himself into bed his father snoring soundly. That's why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing' Because that's what it was really all about And he gave himself an A and a slash on each ****** wrist And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn't think he could reach the kitchen*
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74
I recorded this years ago, but it's still funny today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMpjsFkALLM
0
Dec 19, 2015
Dec 19, 2015 at 1:32 PM UTC
SANTA CLAUS IS SECRETLY GAY
Mrs. Claus was at the door Making sure that Santa knew He had to see the doctor He must be there by two Santa gruffed and grumbled Said there's too much to be done "You know I hate the doctor" "The doctor's just no fun" Mrs. Claus held fast and said "You do this every year" "and you always have a new excuse" "when the appointment time is near" Santa, said he'd do it Although, it was done under duress He could run an elven workshop But the doctor, was more stress He made it to the office At two, precisely on the nose The first thing the nurse said was "Santa, take off all your clothes" "You know we have to weigh you" "It's in the contract that you signed" "A little extra weight shift" "Could get the sleigh all misaligned" The scale said way past jolly He was twenty pounds past plump He was just below horrendous Santa Claus was one fat lump The doctor read the clipboard And made a tsk tsk tsking sound He said "Santa, you're much bigger" "You're almost 5 full feet around" "I have with me a letter" "That the vet asked me to read" "It says unless you drop some blubber" "Four more reindeer you will need" "Now, every story book out there" "Names eight reindeer in line" "And since you hired Rudolph" "A lot have you with nine" "But the vet now says you need thirteen" "To get up in the sky" "You've got to change your diet" "Santa, please lay off the pie" "I'm not saying all at once" "But, you've got to drop some weight" "Or, you'll be dropping gifts by plane" "And you'll still be over weight" Santa tried a little laugh, Not a full out ** ** ** Truth be told, he'd lose his breath He knew the weight would have to go He got down off the table Put on his hat, and Santa Suit He looked as red as ever When he tried to reach his boot The doctor said "Good God Man" "You can't go up like that" Santa said "I'm fine doc" "The kids want a Santa that is fat" "There's a difference between jolly" "Like the elf you're supposed to be" "But Santa, count your chins man," "I lose count at twenty three" "The elves are under orders" "Not to load the magic sleigh" "Until you commit to weight loss" "And you promise right away" "I know that you are Santa" "And for this I may get coal" "But, your wife, Santa...she scares me" "She said she'd put me in a hole" "Santa, lose some poundage" "Give it just a little try" "It's not right...thirteen reindeer" "Flying through the Christmas sky" "I know it's confidential" "what has happened here today" "But, Santa...I will tell her" "If you don't...and right away" Santa, said he'd try to He said "just tell me what to do" "Truth be told there doctor" "The woman scares me too!!!"
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Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 10:24 PM UTC
Santa at The Doctor
Mrs. Claus was at the door Making sure that Santa knew He had to see the doctor He must be there by two Santa gruffed and grumbled Said there's too much to be done "You know I hate the doctor" "The doctor's just no fun" Mrs. Claus held fast and said "You do this every year" "and you always have a new excuse" "when the appointment time is near" Santa, said he'd do it Although, it was done under duress He could run an elven workshop But the doctor, was more stress He made it to the office At two, precisely on the nose The first thing the nurse said was "Santa, take off all your clothes" "You know we have to weigh you" "It's in the contract that you signed" "A little extra weight shift" "Could get the sleigh all misaligned" The scale said way past jolly He was twenty pounds past plump He was just below horrendous Santa Claus was one fat lump The doctor read the clipboard And made a tsk tsk tsking sound He said "Santa, you're much bigger" "You're almost 5 full feet around" "I have with me a letter" "That the vet asked me to read" "It says unless you drop some blubber" "Four more reindeer you will need" "Now, every story book out there" "Names eight reindeer in line" "And since you hired Rudolph" "A lot have you with nine" "But the vet now says you need thirteen" "To get up in the sky" "You've got to change your diet" "Santa, please lay off the pie" "I'm not saying all at once" "But, you've got to drop some weight" "Or, you'll be dropping gifts by plane" "And you'll still be over weight" Santa tried a little laugh, Not a full out ** ** ** Truth be told, he'd lose his breath He knew the weight would have to go He got down off the table Put on his hat, and Santa Suit He looked as red as ever When he tried to reach his boot The doctor said "Good God Man" "You can't go up like that" Santa said "I'm fine doc" "The kids want a Santa that is fat" "There's a difference between jolly" "Like the elf you're supposed to be" "But Santa, count your chins man," "I lose count at twenty three" "The elves are under orders" "Not to load the magic sleigh" "Until you commit to weight loss" "And you promise right away" "I know that you are Santa" "And for this I may get coal" "But, your wife, Santa...she scares me" "She said she'd put me in a hole" "Santa, lose some poundage" "Give it just a little try" "It's not right...thirteen reindeer" "Flying through the Christmas sky" "I know it's confidential" "what has happened here today" "But, Santa...I will tell her" "If you don't...and right away" Santa, said he'd try to He said "just tell me what to do" "Truth be told there doctor" "The woman scares me too!!!"
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84
Christmas Eve was coming There was plenty to be done There were protocols to follow There were programs to be run Presents needed wrapping Elves had duties of their own They've been doing it for centuries They could call Christmas in by phone Reindeer games were scheduled Christmas Carols to be sung There were toys to be assembled There were bells that must be wrung Christmas Cakes...no problem For we all know there's just one It gets passed around each Christmas And that is half the fun But, back now to the reindeer games Donner wasn't there But, neither were three others It gave Santa Claus a scare He called the elven vet in Said "find out what it wrong" "If I don't have all my reindeer" "It'll ruin Rudolph's song" The vet came back directly Hoof and mouth was what he said The reindeer must  miss Christmas They were all confined to bed Santa couldn't take it Reindeer home...what would he do? He thought real hard about an answer Where would he find something that flew The vet said, "I've an answer" "But, no questions...just your trust" "I'll get your gifts delivered Santa" "I just need your magic dust" Santa said "do your best Doctor" "We can't have Christmas end like this" "Are you sure you have an answer?" "We can't give Christmas time a miss" The vet and elves went searching They formed a team like none before They went around to the animals And then they knocked on Santa's door Santa looked at what they'd brought him His reindeer gone, but here they stood A team had been assembled It made Santa sink into his hood Harnessed up before him The vet had two dogs and a bear A ****** goat, and donkey And a bald, blind cat...stood there He smiled and said "Dear Santa" "They may not look like that much now" "But, they'll get you where you need to be" "And they'll be led by a brown cow" If you hear some noises From your roof, like bleats and barks Some, meowing or some mooing And other strange sounds in the dark Remember, it's just Santa With his new team for the season Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike and a bald, blind cat who's freezin' Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!
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Nov 10, 2012
Nov 10, 2012 at 8:37 PM UTC
Santa's New Team
Christmas Eve was coming There was plenty to be done There were protocols to follow There were programs to be run Presents needed wrapping Elves had duties of their own They've been doing it for centuries They could call Christmas in by phone Reindeer games were scheduled Christmas Carols to be sung There were toys to be assembled There were bells that must be wrung Christmas Cakes...no problem For we all know there's just one It gets passed around each Christmas And that is half the fun But, back now to the reindeer games Donner wasn't there But, neither were three others It gave Santa Claus a scare He called the elven vet in Said "find out what it wrong" "If I don't have all my reindeer" "It'll ruin Rudolph's song" The vet came back directly Hoof and mouth was what he said The reindeer must  miss Christmas They were all confined to bed Santa couldn't take it Reindeer home...what would he do? He thought real hard about an answer Where would he find something that flew The vet said, "I've an answer" "But, no questions...just your trust" "I'll get your gifts delivered Santa" "I just need your magic dust" Santa said "do your best Doctor" "We can't have Christmas end like this" "Are you sure you have an answer?" "We can't give Christmas time a miss" The vet and elves went searching They formed a team like none before They went around to the animals And then they knocked on Santa's door Santa looked at what they'd brought him His reindeer gone, but here they stood A team had been assembled It made Santa sink into his hood Harnessed up before him The vet had two dogs and a bear A ****** goat, and donkey And a bald, blind cat...stood there He smiled and said "Dear Santa" "They may not look like that much now" "But, they'll get you where you need to be" "And they'll be led by a brown cow" If you hear some noises From your roof, like bleats and barks Some, meowing or some mooing And other strange sounds in the dark Remember, it's just Santa With his new team for the season Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike and a bald, blind cat who's freezin' Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!
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65
open the door a man stands there with a smile the package he passes is not on my Christmas list that doorway sure is no chimney. shaking, frightened, it's finally time alone, i unfasten the bag, as if it's the first brithday that my grandma is no longer with us. this was the most expensive present i have ever received although the grantor is no ******* Santa Claus & that instant i recognize my existence lies in these jars. i outwitted mother nature if i begin consumption i live if not well.....How Will It End?
0
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 9:00 PM UTC
the lifelong subscription
The last kiss from you Lasted like a huddle in The snow blitz Rocking my anatomy In the frosty glitz The last words from you That barged in my eardrum You were in a hurry To smell a new leaf Draped in a diamond dew The last gifts from you Was an instrument Which still I use To recognize people Or to refuse! The last time You said I love you I remember I was laughing Hysterically as if I was watching Jared Leto’s jaded mimicry of Joker in YouTube Intriguingly, when the last time I saw you **** It felt like pretty Ivanka’s embarrassment Noticing her dad is a lewd The last time I was chatting With you on Facebook I was wondering why I shouldn't hack your account? To check your inbox Yea, it was filled with the message of ******* F- Bombs, **** shaming and tagging you as harlot All they were asking was your service of escort Either in full discount or in hefty cash drops! The last time I wrote A letter of love to you I discovered my Keyboard Began to blurt out No more, No more, No more… The last time I had a chit-chat With you in the Burger King or Pizza Hut I listened to your hissing clack-clack That someone else has become your puppy cat… The last time I became sick When I was with you I heard you threw a party Where you were whispering To your besties, how I become your double whammy! The last time I was With you in the bed I felt like I was indentured To **** a dummy toy Sans spirit and flesh! Loving you was like Santa Claus gifted me With a Pandora’s Box As soon as I opened it You decided to release Our *** tape of your having ****** In pornhub’s forum of interracial! The last time I heard of you Is that you were giving an interview To The Cosmopolitan’s board of review Facing the barrage of inquisitions You calmly joked, the series Of latest uproar about you In the social media or Internet Is because certain people always Love to rave about Women’s body Shoving in and out of their pigeonhole With their one night stand queen trophy To flavor your form in their fantasmic mouth You also smirked in a raspy voice Defiantly declaring “we (women) Have been locked indoors With no air, no food, no water” My last boyfriend is also no exception He certainly thinks I came this far Through ******* and deception
0
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 12:33 PM UTC
Oppressive patriarchy or self-imposed victim hood- Hasan Maruf
The last kiss from you Lasted like a huddle in The snow blitz Rocking my anatomy In the frosty glitz The last words from you That barged in my eardrum You were in a hurry To smell a new leaf Draped in a diamond dew The last gifts from you Was an instrument Which still I use To recognize people Or to refuse! The last time You said I love you I remember I was laughing Hysterically as if I was watching Jared Leto’s jaded mimicry of Joker in YouTube Intriguingly, when the last time I saw you **** It felt like pretty Ivanka’s embarrassment Noticing her dad is a lewd The last time I was chatting With you on Facebook I was wondering why I shouldn't hack your account? To check your inbox Yea, it was filled with the message of ******* F- Bombs, **** shaming and tagging you as harlot All they were asking was your service of escort Either in full discount or in hefty cash drops! The last time I wrote A letter of love to you I discovered my Keyboard Began to blurt out No more, No more, No more… The last time I had a chit-chat With you in the Burger King or Pizza Hut I listened to your hissing clack-clack That someone else has become your puppy cat… The last time I became sick When I was with you I heard you threw a party Where you were whispering To your besties, how I become your double whammy! The last time I was With you in the bed I felt like I was indentured To **** a dummy toy Sans spirit and flesh! Loving you was like Santa Claus gifted me With a Pandora’s Box As soon as I opened it You decided to release Our *** tape of your having ****** In pornhub’s forum of interracial! The last time I heard of you Is that you were giving an interview To The Cosmopolitan’s board of review Facing the barrage of inquisitions You calmly joked, the series Of latest uproar about you In the social media or Internet Is because certain people always Love to rave about Women’s body Shoving in and out of their pigeonhole With their one night stand queen trophy To flavor your form in their fantasmic mouth You also smirked in a raspy voice Defiantly declaring “we (women) Have been locked indoors With no air, no food, no water” My last boyfriend is also no exception He certainly thinks I came this far Through ******* and deception
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78
THERE'S RUDOLPH, FROSTY, SANTA CLAUS AND GOOD OLD EBENEEZER THERE'S CAROLS SUNG BY EVERYONE FROM KISS ON THROUGH TO WHEEZER THERE'S CD'S OUT FROM NAT KING COLE, THE BOSTON POPS HAVE TWO THERE'S  ONE OUT  NEIL DIAMOND WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE OLD NEIL'S A JEW THE STORES HAVE TINSEL EVERYWHERE, THEIR TREES TOO,LOOKING NICE THERE'S WRAPPING PAPER, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND EVEN PLASTIC ICE THEY ATTACK YOUR SENSES CONSTANTLY, THEY MUST THINK I'M A FOOL FOR ALL THIS STUFF IS ON DISPLAY, BEFORE THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL THERE'S A RASTAFARIAN SANTA CLAUS WITH DREADLOCKS KNOWN AS "STONEY" GENETICALLY ALTERED TURKEY MEAT THAT TASTES JUST LIKE BALONEY PEOPLE DON'T BUY CHRISTMAS GIFTS THEY SEEM TO JUST GIVE MONEY SO THEY GO SHOPPING BOXING DAY, AND THIS I FIND QUITE FUNNY THE CHARITIES ARE ON THE PHONE AND AT YOUR DOOR EACH NIGHT THEY WORK YOU WITH SOME CHRISTMAS GUILT, AND SAY "IT'S ONLY RIGHT" TO DONATE TO UNFORTUNATES AND THEIR FOLKS NEED IT MOST" AS THEY FLASH THEIR SMILES, FAKE I/D'S BEFORE THEIR PHONY BOAST PEOPLE SHOP AND BUY AND BUY AND THEN THEY ALL RE-GIFT MOST TIMES YOU'LL GET CHRISTMAS CAKE, THAT'S REALLY HARD TO LIFT YOU WORK O.T. AND DO YOUR BEST, YOUR CHRISTMAS CASH TO SAVE AND YOU SMILE WHEN YOU GET YOUR GIFT, AND IT'S THE ONE YOU GAVE CHRISTMAS IS LESS FESTIVE AND TO ME IT'S GOTTEN RATHER CLINICAL WITH SCHEDULES MADE AND SALES AND THINGS, IT'S MADE ME RATHER CYNICAL TO SAY WHAT CHRISTMAS REALLY MEANS, I READ THOMAS ACQUINAS BUT INSTEAD, I'LL USE A QUOTE FROM SHCULTZ'S PROPHET LINUS ..."AND SUDDENLY THERE WAS WITH THE ANGEL A MULTITUDE OF THE HEAVENLY HOST PRAISING GOD AND SAYING "GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST, AND ON EARTH PEACE, GOODWILL TOWARD MEN."" AND THAT IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT....PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
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May 30, 2012
May 30, 2012 at 3:13 PM UTC
The True Meaning of Christmas (Thank you Linus) EDITED
THERE'S RUDOLPH, FROSTY, SANTA CLAUS AND GOOD OLD EBENEEZER THERE'S CAROLS SUNG BY EVERYONE FROM KISS ON THROUGH TO WHEEZER THERE'S CD'S OUT FROM NAT KING COLE, THE BOSTON POPS HAVE TWO THERE'S  ONE OUT  NEIL DIAMOND WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE OLD NEIL'S A JEW THE STORES HAVE TINSEL EVERYWHERE, THEIR TREES TOO,LOOKING NICE THERE'S WRAPPING PAPER, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND EVEN PLASTIC ICE THEY ATTACK YOUR SENSES CONSTANTLY, THEY MUST THINK I'M A FOOL FOR ALL THIS STUFF IS ON DISPLAY, BEFORE THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL THERE'S A RASTAFARIAN SANTA CLAUS WITH DREADLOCKS KNOWN AS "STONEY" GENETICALLY ALTERED TURKEY MEAT THAT TASTES JUST LIKE BALONEY PEOPLE DON'T BUY CHRISTMAS GIFTS THEY SEEM TO JUST GIVE MONEY SO THEY GO SHOPPING BOXING DAY, AND THIS I FIND QUITE FUNNY THE CHARITIES ARE ON THE PHONE AND AT YOUR DOOR EACH NIGHT THEY WORK YOU WITH SOME CHRISTMAS GUILT, AND SAY "IT'S ONLY RIGHT" TO DONATE TO UNFORTUNATES AND THEIR FOLKS NEED IT MOST" AS THEY FLASH THEIR SMILES, FAKE I/D'S BEFORE THEIR PHONY BOAST PEOPLE SHOP AND BUY AND BUY AND THEN THEY ALL RE-GIFT MOST TIMES YOU'LL GET CHRISTMAS CAKE, THAT'S REALLY HARD TO LIFT YOU WORK O.T. AND DO YOUR BEST, YOUR CHRISTMAS CASH TO SAVE AND YOU SMILE WHEN YOU GET YOUR GIFT, AND IT'S THE ONE YOU GAVE CHRISTMAS IS LESS FESTIVE AND TO ME IT'S GOTTEN RATHER CLINICAL WITH SCHEDULES MADE AND SALES AND THINGS, IT'S MADE ME RATHER CYNICAL TO SAY WHAT CHRISTMAS REALLY MEANS, I READ THOMAS ACQUINAS BUT INSTEAD, I'LL USE A QUOTE FROM SHCULTZ'S PROPHET LINUS ..."AND SUDDENLY THERE WAS WITH THE ANGEL A MULTITUDE OF THE HEAVENLY HOST PRAISING GOD AND SAYING "GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST, AND ON EARTH PEACE, GOODWILL TOWARD MEN."" AND THAT IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT....PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
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Friedrich Claus Owner at Self-Employed All copyright belongs above Tax his land, tax his wage, Tax his bed in which he lays. Tax his tractor, tax his mule, Teach him taxes is the rule. Tax his cow, tax his goat, Tax his pants, tax his coat. Tax his ties, tax his shirts, Tax his work, tax his dirt. Tax his chew, tax his smoke, Teach him taxes are no joke. Tax his car, tax his grass, Tax the roads he must pass. Tax his food, tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think. Tax his sodas, tax his beers, If he cries, tax his tears. Tax his bills, tax his gas, Tax his notes, tax his cash. Tax him good and let him know That after taxes, he has no dough. If he hollers, tax him more, Tax him until he’s good and sore. Tax his coffin, tax his grave, Tax the sod in which he lays. Put these words upon his tomb, “Taxes drove me to my doom!” And when he’s gone, we won’t relax, We’ll still be after the inheritance tax.
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Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 6:26 AM UTC
Taxed to death....Saw this poem in newspaper
Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Santa had another noted name, He was a simple man Called Nicholas living for no fame. He was a Christian. His parents died, when he was still young, In a village of Greece. Thinking of Jesus, his thoughts he strung To help poor kids in peace. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Under Diocletian he became A Bishop in mission. He was imprisoned, and put to shame. He changed the tradition. In time, St. Nicholas' life and deeds Have become a story. He was a helper of those in needs, A man in the glory. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Nicholas became Dutch Sinter Klass, But children changed his name. The Bishop's red cloak changed with time's glass In cloths for Santa's fame. On that day, kids wait for him to come In spirit of giving, The Christmas tree looks no longer glum And it looks like living. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Down the chimney comes Papa Noel Quite slipping and sliding. From his sky with reindeers and sleigh bells Just gnashing and gliding. Spreading stardust glittering at night He brings presents for kids, They pray and sing in the Divine Light. Then, to sky his sleigh skids. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins.
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Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014 at 12:23 PM UTC
The Legend of Santa Claus
Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Santa had another noted name, He was a simple man Called Nicholas living for no fame. He was a Christian. His parents died, when he was still young, In a village of Greece. Thinking of Jesus, his thoughts he strung To help poor kids in peace. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Under Diocletian he became A Bishop in mission. He was imprisoned, and put to shame. He changed the tradition. In time, St. Nicholas' life and deeds Have become a story. He was a helper of those in needs, A man in the glory. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Nicholas became Dutch Sinter Klass, But children changed his name. The Bishop's red cloak changed with time's glass In cloths for Santa's fame. On that day, kids wait for him to come In spirit of giving, The Christmas tree looks no longer glum And it looks like living. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins. Down the chimney comes Papa Noel Quite slipping and sliding. From his sky with reindeers and sleigh bells Just gnashing and gliding. Spreading stardust glittering at night He brings presents for kids, They pray and sing in the Divine Light. Then, to sky his sleigh skids. Refrain: The legend of our sweet Santa Claus In December begins Up on the rooftops, when eight strong paws Make sounds of reindeers twins.
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57
You ask why I believe in Jesus. Well why did you believe in Santa Claus as a kid? Because he brought you gifts right? Why question something that brings you gifts right. That's why I belive in Jesus. He brings me life. Allows me to dream endlessly. Gives my mind freedom to shut out the ghosts because he has plans for me to prosper. But most of all ignites my soul and allows my mind to romp all the days of my life.
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Mar 15, 2015
Mar 15, 2015 at 4:23 PM UTC
Giraffes
* soft spoken intro * *The tree, With its lights, ***** and tinsel, Garland, excitement, Of these nights, The mistletoe and a star… Ornaments, See the candy canes, Icicles, And a door wreath, On a cold, Snowy Christmas Eve!   Toys of Elvin-creation gleam, faces of the children they smile and beam, pitter-patter sounds of feet stomp -ing; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! A night of magic you won’t believe; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! Santa Claus and Christmas-time, sing a-long with our cheery rhyme, nothing ever feels so fine; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! A night of magic you won’t believe; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! Spicy scent of pumpkin pies, hear the reindeer when his sleigh arrives, toting presents that jolly guy; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! A night of magic you won’t believe; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! Santa, St. Nick, Sinterklaas, around the whole world in one night -no pause, and a childhood feeling that’ll never be lost; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! A night of magic you won’t believe; it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! Tally-Ho! Jolly-fun! The night ain’t over till Santa’s done; a night of magic you won’t believe, it’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! It’s a cold snowy Christmas Eve! A cold snowy Christmas Eve!
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Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 5:13 PM UTC
Cold Snowy Christmas Eve!
By A Foreigner I like Americans. They are so unlike Canadians. They do not take their policemen seriously. They come to Montreal to drink. Not to criticize. They claim they won the war. But they know at heart that they didn't. They have such respect for Englishmen. They like to live abroad. They do not brag about how they take baths. But they take them. Their teeth are so good. And they wear B.V.D.'s all the year round. I wish they didn't brag about it. They have the second best navy in the world. But they never mention it. They would like to have Henry Ford for president. But they will not elect him. They saw through Bill Bryan. They have gotten tired of Billy Sunday. Their men have such funny hair cuts. They are hard to **** in on Europe. They have been there once. They produced Barney Google, Mutt and Jeff. And Jiggs. They do not hang lady murderers. They put them in vaudeville. They read the Saturday Evening Post And believe in Santa Claus. When they make money They make a lot of money. They are fine people.
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6.3k
I Like Americans
love grows under the Mistletoe there you'll find it growing very nicely as Santa and Mrs Claus share a kiss neath the pine tree now that's what I'd like to be of wreath of Mistletoe atop the beautifully lit Christmas tree how lovely it would be to see Santa and Mrs Claus enjoying a kiss or two in a loving cause yes! that's what I'd like to be the wreath of Mistletoe smiling so happily
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Nov 22, 2013
Nov 22, 2013 at 4:15 PM UTC
Mistletoe
Santa's Lazy Elf Five more days till Christmas, Santa and his crew were working overtime making children's dreams come true . Singing carols, whistling tunes, as the hours ticked away, except for little Edison the elf that went astray. Instead of making toys in Santa's assembly line, he was hanging out with Rudolph beneath the snow capped pines. As Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus took a look around, they noticed lazy Edison was nowhere to be found. They decided they'd had enough this elf will surely be fired, scratched their heads and realized another must be hired. Dasher heard them talking and thought this can't be so, never in elf's history has someone had to go. He searched the winter wonderland and under the Northern Lights Edison and Rudolph were frolicking in flight. He said "Come down from there your behavior's a disgrace, Christmas Eve is almost here and you're about to be replaced. Edison soon realized his days of slacking were done, that there'd be consequences for goofing off and having fun. He knew he had no place to go if Santa didn't let him stay his heart began to pound, as Rudolph ran way. He hurried as fast as he could to tell Santa he was wrong, beg him for forgiveness and show him he belonged. As the other elves were caroling he tried to sneak inside, but Santa saw him coming out of the corner of his eye. He placed his hands upon his hips and firmly shook his head, "What shall I do with you my elf," Santa firmly said. "I see you when you're sleeping I know when you're awake, did you not read your history book he said for goodness sake!" Santa soon forgave him cause his heart is made of gold, and Edison became the hardest worker I am told. The moral of this story is we all must do our part, and jolly old St Nick has always had a heart. Merry Christmas to all of you on this holiest of days, may all your dreams come true as you gather and celebrate! Written By Kathy J Parenteau Copyright © December 2013 All Rights Reserved
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Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 6:19 PM UTC
Santa's Lazy Elf
Santa's Lazy Elf Five more days till Christmas, Santa and his crew were working overtime making children's dreams come true . Singing carols, whistling tunes, as the hours ticked away, except for little Edison the elf that went astray. Instead of making toys in Santa's assembly line, he was hanging out with Rudolph beneath the snow capped pines. As Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus took a look around, they noticed lazy Edison was nowhere to be found. They decided they'd had enough this elf will surely be fired, scratched their heads and realized another must be hired. Dasher heard them talking and thought this can't be so, never in elf's history has someone had to go. He searched the winter wonderland and under the Northern Lights Edison and Rudolph were frolicking in flight. He said "Come down from there your behavior's a disgrace, Christmas Eve is almost here and you're about to be replaced. Edison soon realized his days of slacking were done, that there'd be consequences for goofing off and having fun. He knew he had no place to go if Santa didn't let him stay his heart began to pound, as Rudolph ran way. He hurried as fast as he could to tell Santa he was wrong, beg him for forgiveness and show him he belonged. As the other elves were caroling he tried to sneak inside, but Santa saw him coming out of the corner of his eye. He placed his hands upon his hips and firmly shook his head, "What shall I do with you my elf," Santa firmly said. "I see you when you're sleeping I know when you're awake, did you not read your history book he said for goodness sake!" Santa soon forgave him cause his heart is made of gold, and Edison became the hardest worker I am told. The moral of this story is we all must do our part, and jolly old St Nick has always had a heart. Merry Christmas to all of you on this holiest of days, may all your dreams come true as you gather and celebrate! Written By Kathy J Parenteau Copyright © December 2013 All Rights Reserved
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72
Hi my name is Briano alliano and welcome the Jupiter early Christmas party And the first song is this Santa Claus came through the computers Through the computers Through the computers Santa Claus came through the computers Every Christmas Eve night He will drop presents down cyber space Cyber space oh cyber space Making Johnny and frank and tommy and Ryan and many more kids to count Santa Claus came through the computers Through the computers Through the computers Santa Claus came through the computers Briany is a cool boy Who is trying to be good But nowadays it is harder to go down chimneys because nobody has one no more But how about sending Santa’s sleigh Down through cyber space And and and send Santa Claus through the computer Through the computer Through the computer Santa Claus came through your computer Each and every year Cause daddy has a brand new computer Just for you this year Yes daddy gave me a brand new computer For everybody to see this year And now here is my funny jingle bells 2020 Dashing through the year Was the covid 19 Yes the coronavirus has been making Everybody sick Victoria copped it bad And footy started and finished late I was unhappy that Richmond and storm won but at least Christmas will be cool Jingle bells jingle bells Party on at home Covid 19 is keeping all the people from having fun yeah Jingle bells jingle bells Please find a vaccine So we can go out and party again Without worrying about touching You see when you take the kids To see good ole Santa Claus You have to book online And social distancing So what you have to do Is stand back and say to Santa I want a book and a toy to play with And then get our photo taken Jingle bells jingle bells Santa still will come Covid 19 is really bad But it doesn’t spoil the hype Jingle bells party on At home to be safe Singing Christmas carols on YouTube mate Party party party yeah That was covid jingle bells and now here is We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas In these covid 19 times The party will still be on No matter what is on We wish you a merry Christmas In the covid 19 year Party on dudes Thanks and I will see ya next time
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Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 6:43 AM UTC
Briano alliano early Christmas party on Jupiter
Hi my name is Briano alliano and welcome the Jupiter early Christmas party And the first song is this Santa Claus came through the computers Through the computers Through the computers Santa Claus came through the computers Every Christmas Eve night He will drop presents down cyber space Cyber space oh cyber space Making Johnny and frank and tommy and Ryan and many more kids to count Santa Claus came through the computers Through the computers Through the computers Santa Claus came through the computers Briany is a cool boy Who is trying to be good But nowadays it is harder to go down chimneys because nobody has one no more But how about sending Santa’s sleigh Down through cyber space And and and send Santa Claus through the computer Through the computer Through the computer Santa Claus came through your computer Each and every year Cause daddy has a brand new computer Just for you this year Yes daddy gave me a brand new computer For everybody to see this year And now here is my funny jingle bells 2020 Dashing through the year Was the covid 19 Yes the coronavirus has been making Everybody sick Victoria copped it bad And footy started and finished late I was unhappy that Richmond and storm won but at least Christmas will be cool Jingle bells jingle bells Party on at home Covid 19 is keeping all the people from having fun yeah Jingle bells jingle bells Please find a vaccine So we can go out and party again Without worrying about touching You see when you take the kids To see good ole Santa Claus You have to book online And social distancing So what you have to do Is stand back and say to Santa I want a book and a toy to play with And then get our photo taken Jingle bells jingle bells Santa still will come Covid 19 is really bad But it doesn’t spoil the hype Jingle bells party on At home to be safe Singing Christmas carols on YouTube mate Party party party yeah That was covid jingle bells and now here is We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas In these covid 19 times The party will still be on No matter what is on We wish you a merry Christmas In the covid 19 year Party on dudes Thanks and I will see ya next time
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72
Momentary mourning peace. Mama pours a glass of mulled wine, lights a scented candle                                (- "cherries on snow" -) and drinks to ol' Joan. Passed down with the jewellery box, somewhere in the will, the daughters receive the annual chore of roasting the turkey (delicious!) and the veggies (good job!) and (could you pass the?) breadsauce for their brothers and husbands huddled             on a threadbare sofa -- and a younger girl,             barely there, staring at a laptop screen. Mama's not festive - always too tired - barely celebrates, but orchestrates. Years barely there 'cause she's needed in their kitchen and someone's gotta cook can she please get a hand? and one chivalrous male puffs out his chest, takes one for the team, gestures to the girl with no discernible attention span and half-laughs an "ay, one day this'll be you! Best get in there while you're young!"                                                           ((A baritone chorus of laughter.)) "You outdid yourself on the turkey." "S'great, ain't it? Pass the potatoes." Sometimes here, sometimes Spain. We stay over. It's tradition: we're scattered across the country, maid duties are the least she can do. Never our kitchen or living room. Tiny. Messy. Unwelcoming. Come Boxing Day, Mama gives a bear hug goodbye and an "it's good to see you"; Because it is, she thinks. Thank you for inviting me to carry out your labour. I'm just grateful to be needed. A month of red 'SALE' tapes scouring the clearance shelves; overtime for extra cash scraped to afford the food she cooks you; paying half for gifts she'd brainstormed while Dad buys partial credit on the gift tag. We vanish from your house - like elves - by morning.
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Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 8:17 AM UTC
Mrs Claus & the Working-Class Christmas
Momentary mourning peace. Mama pours a glass of mulled wine, lights a scented candle                                (- "cherries on snow" -) and drinks to ol' Joan. Passed down with the jewellery box, somewhere in the will, the daughters receive the annual chore of roasting the turkey (delicious!) and the veggies (good job!) and (could you pass the?) breadsauce for their brothers and husbands huddled             on a threadbare sofa -- and a younger girl,             barely there, staring at a laptop screen. Mama's not festive - always too tired - barely celebrates, but orchestrates. Years barely there 'cause she's needed in their kitchen and someone's gotta cook can she please get a hand? and one chivalrous male puffs out his chest, takes one for the team, gestures to the girl with no discernible attention span and half-laughs an "ay, one day this'll be you! Best get in there while you're young!"                                                           ((A baritone chorus of laughter.)) "You outdid yourself on the turkey." "S'great, ain't it? Pass the potatoes." Sometimes here, sometimes Spain. We stay over. It's tradition: we're scattered across the country, maid duties are the least she can do. Never our kitchen or living room. Tiny. Messy. Unwelcoming. Come Boxing Day, Mama gives a bear hug goodbye and an "it's good to see you"; Because it is, she thinks. Thank you for inviting me to carry out your labour. I'm just grateful to be needed. A month of red 'SALE' tapes scouring the clearance shelves; overtime for extra cash scraped to afford the food she cooks you; paying half for gifts she'd brainstormed while Dad buys partial credit on the gift tag. We vanish from your house - like elves - by morning.
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46
Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom knew a deer named Rudy had a ruby snooty knew a deer named Rudy had a ruby snooty you see a red light in the air you knew Rudy was flying there Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Couldn't play the reindeer games Had to hide his nose in shame Couldn't play the reindeer games Had to hide his nose in shame So he chose to run away Away from where the reindeer play Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Went off, with an elf They went off by themselves Went off, with an elf They went off by themselves Had adventures in the snow They tried to hide old Rudy's glow Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Met a man wantin' gold And a bumble,in the cold Met a man wantin' gold And a bumble, in the cold Found the land of misfit toys Waiting for good girls and boys Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Found their way to Christmas Town Santa Claus was feeling down Found their way to Christmas Town Santa Claus was feeling down Santa told the elves I fear There won't be a Christmas trip this year Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Then Santa saw old Rudy's nose You know how the story goes When Santa saw old Rudy's nose You know how the story goes He led Santa on his flight Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night
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Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 11:28 PM UTC
Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (my version, sung to Tutti Frutti by Little Richard)
Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom knew a deer named Rudy had a ruby snooty knew a deer named Rudy had a ruby snooty you see a red light in the air you knew Rudy was flying there Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Couldn't play the reindeer games Had to hide his nose in shame Couldn't play the reindeer games Had to hide his nose in shame So he chose to run away Away from where the reindeer play Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Went off, with an elf They went off by themselves Went off, with an elf They went off by themselves Had adventures in the snow They tried to hide old Rudy's glow Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Met a man wantin' gold And a bumble,in the cold Met a man wantin' gold And a bumble, in the cold Found the land of misfit toys Waiting for good girls and boys Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Found their way to Christmas Town Santa Claus was feeling down Found their way to Christmas Town Santa Claus was feeling down Santa told the elves I fear There won't be a Christmas trip this year Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom Then Santa saw old Rudy's nose You know how the story goes When Santa saw old Rudy's nose You know how the story goes He led Santa on his flight Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night
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Post person or whatever. Always turning up. Regardless of the weather I feel for the postie upon this chilly day. Relied upon to bring with him, all Christmas in his sack. Bringing bills and festive notes from Southampton to John'O'Groats. No suprise from Santa Claus. Just a chilly postman going to the doors. Through rain and snow the postman goes. Trotting with his smile intact. Waiting for Christmas to come around again. His mailbag always laden, that's a fact for sure. I wonder when the day of e-cards supercede. The postman may redundant, not coming to my door! Thank you post person, You do a vital job. (C) LIVVI
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Dec 11, 2017
Dec 11, 2017 at 11:27 AM UTC
ODE TO THE POSTMAN
Along the banks of Lake Shelbyville That’s what I think of when it’s your birthday A camp fire burning on a cool April night We two drinking hot mauled cider Or better yet “Hornsby’s Draft Cider” Talking and laughing Making up parodies Parodies of Zeppelin and Floyd songs Listening to the nightingales and the crickets And watching fire light That almost appears to be living Watching slow rolling clouds, and feeling the whispering wind Rolling in and out and over and under The engaging light of the moon and stars And maybe some of our friends were there And maybe it was only us Brother and sister Best friends forever Retelling stories of our past Creating memories for our future Waxing religion and philosophy Such philistines, think my parents And your parents don’t get it And yes we have separate parents And yes we have the same parents (Adoption is a funny thing you see) You are my funny BIG, BIG, BIG brother Santa Claus, Sasquatch, Cave Man, and Viking And I am your little crazy sister Flower Child and Sacagawea And it is your birthday And I love you always Love, Sarah Jane Gillian Tiffany Michelle Whispering Wind Grider Minks Summers Jonathan George Washington Francis Fleming Greenlee Whiter Liston Hall Aka Awesome Pagan Goddess
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Apr 28, 2012
Apr 28, 2012 at 1:36 PM UTC
Happy Birthday from Whispering Wind to Slow Cloud (April 28, 2012)
I used to believe in Santa Claus So jolly and red and so fat. I was a big fan of Christmas No holiday was as great as that. Not Easter with those funny eggs Not even Halloween with candy. No, that thing about tons of presents To me, that was fine and dandy. And we even got two weeks off Nobody had to go to school. Then coming back with new clothes That made me look so cool. Nothing compared to Santa Claus The flying reindeer, ** ** guy. I used to try to stay awake So I could see him flying by. It was such a great reality To know that dude was up there In the frozen north pole air Making stuff for kids everywhere. That was the world I reveled in, Where everyone celebrated. I knew I was not the only one Who sat by the tree and waited. I don’t remember being confused By the Santas in department stores. Santa had lots of helpers, I knew, And this guy was just one more. I did have a problem with chimneys And a bag that he could lift That carried things for all us kids; Every size and type of gift. But kids have a way of helping folks To maintain a pretty fantasy. We just ignored things that didn’t fit. We went about it very easily. But one day, and I remember when I got let in on the confidence game And Santa Claus was quickly gone, Never to come to our house again. The sad thing is nothing can ever Replace the joy I once felt. Santa was not supposed to be Like Frosty and too quickly melt. So, I have to make do with having The grownup toys I buy myself. Oh, how I could use a flying sled And the help of a brace of elf.
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Dec 14, 2016
Dec 14, 2016 at 3:31 PM UTC
I USED TO BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS
I used to believe in Santa Claus So jolly and red and so fat. I was a big fan of Christmas No holiday was as great as that. Not Easter with those funny eggs Not even Halloween with candy. No, that thing about tons of presents To me, that was fine and dandy. And we even got two weeks off Nobody had to go to school. Then coming back with new clothes That made me look so cool. Nothing compared to Santa Claus The flying reindeer, ** ** guy. I used to try to stay awake So I could see him flying by. It was such a great reality To know that dude was up there In the frozen north pole air Making stuff for kids everywhere. That was the world I reveled in, Where everyone celebrated. I knew I was not the only one Who sat by the tree and waited. I don’t remember being confused By the Santas in department stores. Santa had lots of helpers, I knew, And this guy was just one more. I did have a problem with chimneys And a bag that he could lift That carried things for all us kids; Every size and type of gift. But kids have a way of helping folks To maintain a pretty fantasy. We just ignored things that didn’t fit. We went about it very easily. But one day, and I remember when I got let in on the confidence game And Santa Claus was quickly gone, Never to come to our house again. The sad thing is nothing can ever Replace the joy I once felt. Santa was not supposed to be Like Frosty and too quickly melt. So, I have to make do with having The grownup toys I buy myself. Oh, how I could use a flying sled And the help of a brace of elf.
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** ** ** ** ** ** We think Santa smells! We think Santa smells. And he smells like hell It's not to laugh 'cause Santa needs a bath! Yes, we think Santa smells. Sweating day and night, in his suite so tight. Stop this debate 'cause it's too late. Yes we think Santa smells. We have had about enough of this stinky man. We must surely formulate a bathing plan. Santa's gone too long and the odor's strong. Don't be a dope and grab that soap! 'Cause we think Santa smells. (Instrumental) We've an urgent job to do so our eyes won't tear. Every time to us Santa Claus comes near. We think Santa smells. And he smells like hell. It's not to laugh 'cause Santa needs a bath. Yes we think Santa smells. ** **
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Dec 22, 2016
Dec 22, 2016 at 4:19 PM UTC
We think Santa Smells (Sung to "We are Santa's Elves)
445 ’Twas just this time, last year, I died. I know I heard the Corn, When I was carried by the Farms— It had the Tassels on— I thought how yellow it would look— When Richard went to mill— And then, I wanted to get out, But something held my will. I thought just how Red—Apples wedged The Stubble’s joints between— And the Carts stooping round the fields To take the Pumpkins in— I wondered which would miss me, least, And when Thanksgiving, came, If Father’d multiply the plates— To make an even Sum— And would it blur the Christmas glee My Stocking hang too high For any Santa Claus to reach The Altitude of me— But this sort, grieved myself, And so, I thought the other way, How just this time, some perfect year— Themself, should come to me—
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3.7k
Twas just this time, last year, I died
It’s Christmas time, Santa Claus is here, I guess it’s just that time of year That fills everyone with glee, Everyone but me. I immediately regretted climbing out of bed When I feel the chill creeping up my neck. I just want to go back to sleep, Then some sanity I can keep. I slowly make my way toward the fireplace. But that’s when I see your face Because you always kept me warm. And sheltered from those winter storms. Everyone is asking me to make a list, If I could have anything that I wish, What would it be? I close my eyes and I see. Hawaii or Europe could be nice, At least they aren’t covered in this ice. Or maybe a new sweater, To hide myself from this weather. Avery wants a Barbie and Kayden wants it all, Ian wants legos, but I fear that they’re so small, He will probably lose them, so I guess that’s a waste, I just want to kiss away these unpleasant holidays. I could say I want a new car covered in ribbons and bows But if you want the truth, then here it goes. I want to go back this time last year where everything was right. Where I had the boy, I had the Dad, but a Mother? Well…not quite. Maybe that could be my other wish, A bonus on my gift list. I would do anything you need me to, Because Christmas isn’t the same without you. You didn’t have to be my father, Because I was another man’s daughter, But you pulled me in, and gave me your name, And when it came to your children, you treated me the same. Maybe I didn’t know my dad, But there was one special man that I had, And as I look out over this blasted snow, I realize that I can’t let you go. Mom part 2 might seem alright, But you should see how she is at night, Because the love of her life was taken away, A month ago from last Sunday. Daddy’s little girl, isn’t little anymore, And daddy isn’t here to kiss her little sores. Her heart is breaking because you’re gone. But life is supposed to go on. They asked me what I wanted And all I know is that this is true, **That Christmas time, isn’t Christmas time, If Christmas is missing you.**
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Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012 at 5:18 PM UTC
The New Scrooge
It’s Christmas time, Santa Claus is here, I guess it’s just that time of year That fills everyone with glee, Everyone but me. I immediately regretted climbing out of bed When I feel the chill creeping up my neck. I just want to go back to sleep, Then some sanity I can keep. I slowly make my way toward the fireplace. But that’s when I see your face Because you always kept me warm. And sheltered from those winter storms. Everyone is asking me to make a list, If I could have anything that I wish, What would it be? I close my eyes and I see. Hawaii or Europe could be nice, At least they aren’t covered in this ice. Or maybe a new sweater, To hide myself from this weather. Avery wants a Barbie and Kayden wants it all, Ian wants legos, but I fear that they’re so small, He will probably lose them, so I guess that’s a waste, I just want to kiss away these unpleasant holidays. I could say I want a new car covered in ribbons and bows But if you want the truth, then here it goes. I want to go back this time last year where everything was right. Where I had the boy, I had the Dad, but a Mother? Well…not quite. Maybe that could be my other wish, A bonus on my gift list. I would do anything you need me to, Because Christmas isn’t the same without you. You didn’t have to be my father, Because I was another man’s daughter, But you pulled me in, and gave me your name, And when it came to your children, you treated me the same. Maybe I didn’t know my dad, But there was one special man that I had, And as I look out over this blasted snow, I realize that I can’t let you go. Mom part 2 might seem alright, But you should see how she is at night, Because the love of her life was taken away, A month ago from last Sunday. Daddy’s little girl, isn’t little anymore, And daddy isn’t here to kiss her little sores. Her heart is breaking because you’re gone. But life is supposed to go on. They asked me what I wanted And all I know is that this is true, **That Christmas time, isn’t Christmas time, If Christmas is missing you.**
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52
I bet you didn't know that the 7 dwarfs Used to work for Santa Claus Yep, they all got fired from the north pole Cause they kept breaking too many laws See, Doc was the north pole physician He tended to those who were afflicted But he was writing too many prescriptions And three hundred elves got addicted Then we have the dwarf called Sneezy Sneezy became a problem too Everywhere he goes he's blowing his nose And they all came down with the flu Next we have the dwarf named Sleepy Now this one should speak for itself He was always found somewhere laying down Curled up in a corner on a shelf Then there's the dwarf called Bashful This one was just way too shy And when they finally gave him his pink slip He was too embarressed to say goodbye That brings us to the dwarf named Happy Now he was just a bundle of joy But they just couldn't get him to do any work Cause he was always playing with the toys And of course we can't forget about ***** This one always did what they said But he was a little slow, if you know what I mean And they think he was dropped on his head And last but not least we have Grumpy He would stay out drinking all night Now he was the the north pole's problem child Cause he was always starting all the fights Well that's the end of my story And I really hope you're not annoyed Did I tell you Snow White fired them too? Yep, all seven dwarfs are unemployed
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Apr 7, 2010
Apr 7, 2010 at 11:06 AM UTC
Santa Claus and the 7 Dwarfs
...Sky Isa Love!!!! THAT IS ALL!!!!!!!!! BILL WITHERS - LEAN ON ME LYRICS http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v;=JR0NZqu6igg Lean On Me (Live) From a 1973 Concert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wpof8s5ZTg Love potion number 9, The Searchers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXhXLsNJL8 White Wine In The Sun by Tim Minchin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q MOTOWN MAGIC!!!!!! Sa Sa Go Go Go BEST OF MOTOWN....BREATHE...Sky Isa Love I Can't Get Next To You, Psychedelic Shack (the Temptations), Bernadette (The Four Tops), Everyday People (Sly & The Family), I just Called To Say I Love You (Stevie Wonder) Ain't Too Proud To Beg (The Temptations), Back In My Arms Again (The Supremes) Build Me Up Buttercup (The Foundations) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--jWPzNNdN4 Best Of Motown Part 2 Video Mix of; My Cherie Amour (Stevie Wonder), I'm Gonna Make You Love Me (Diana Ross & The Supremes with the Temptations), What's Going On (Marvin Gaye) Love Child (Diana Ross & The Supremes), Runaway Child Running Wild (The Temptations), For Once In My Life (Stevie Wonder}, I'm Losing You (The Temptations), What Does It Takes (Jr Walker & The All Stars), Stop In The Name Of Love (Diana Ross & The Supremes), Reach Out I'll Be There (Four Tops), I Can't Help Myself (Four Tops), Get Ready (The Temptations), Dancing In The Street (Martha & The Vandellas) I Hear A Symphony (Diana Ross & The Supremes). https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v;=VTe06PrXwo4 Top Tracks for Earth, Wind & Fire.... Starts with; "Fantasy" (1977) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTQJ2QiK4QU&playnext;=1&list;=AL94UKMTqg-9AIdf-oDDL0ZRzIehPw5WY6 Top Tracks for Diana Ross & the Supremes Starts with; Love Child!!!! Beautiful imagery!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IluVWcNtR8&list;=AL94UKMTqg-9BkdB7ckbcLpD9AIriJX-5P **The Power of Music & Images Used On One Of The Most Popular & Most Loved Ballads Of All Time, Enjoy!!!** ***Top Tracks for Chicago Starts with;*** Hard To Say I'm Sorry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqq3tW3iACw&playnext;=1&list;=AL94UKMTqg-9ABX4lv1Ast8ZktnOYg-vpB Okay so double triple down on this!!!!!!!! LOVE CHILD Diana Ross & The Supremes ***~Sky Isa Love~~ What can I say my first album;*** LOVE CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gets me every time!!!!!!! More Beautiful Imagery!!! Afu Ra Ka ALL!!!!! (see note) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2icqNPcNS4 EARTH WIND & FIRE-WOULD YOU MIND ...Sky Isa Love very beautiful once again!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rInQEQ-yUc A Motown mega-mix mashup: Motor City's biggest hits combined with classic Christmas songs, sung by your favorite Motown stars. Includes.... "I Saw My Girl Kissing Santa Claus" "I Jingle That Emotion" "I Heard It From The Red Nosed Reindeer" "Claus Get Next To You" "Santa Was a Rollin' Stone" "Ain't No Silent First Noel" ...as performed by.... Stevie Wonder Michael Jackson Smokey Robinson The Temptations The Supremes The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ...and, of course, the Funk Brothers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNvoSf2389k THAT IS ALL!!! LOVE ALL!!!! Sa Sa Ra!!!!
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Dec 26, 2012
Dec 26, 2012 at 7:28 PM UTC
~~LEAN ON ME 2X, Love potion number 9, White Wine In The Sun, Motown Magic!!!~~~+rX's
...Sky Isa Love!!!! THAT IS ALL!!!!!!!!! BILL WITHERS - LEAN ON ME LYRICS http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v;=JR0NZqu6igg Lean On Me (Live) From a 1973 Concert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wpof8s5ZTg Love potion number 9, The Searchers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXhXLsNJL8 White Wine In The Sun by Tim Minchin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q MOTOWN MAGIC!!!!!! Sa Sa Go Go Go BEST OF MOTOWN....BREATHE...Sky Isa Love I Can't Get Next To You, Psychedelic Shack (the Temptations), Bernadette (The Four Tops), Everyday People (Sly & The Family), I just Called To Say I Love You (Stevie Wonder) Ain't Too Proud To Beg (The Temptations), Back In My Arms Again (The Supremes) Build Me Up Buttercup (The Foundations) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--jWPzNNdN4 Best Of Motown Part 2 Video Mix of; My Cherie Amour (Stevie Wonder), I'm Gonna Make You Love Me (Diana Ross & The Supremes with the Temptations), What's Going On (Marvin Gaye) Love Child (Diana Ross & The Supremes), Runaway Child Running Wild (The Temptations), For Once In My Life (Stevie Wonder}, I'm Losing You (The Temptations), What Does It Takes (Jr Walker & The All Stars), Stop In The Name Of Love (Diana Ross & The Supremes), Reach Out I'll Be There (Four Tops), I Can't Help Myself (Four Tops), Get Ready (The Temptations), Dancing In The Street (Martha & The Vandellas) I Hear A Symphony (Diana Ross & The Supremes). https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v;=VTe06PrXwo4 Top Tracks for Earth, Wind & Fire.... Starts with; "Fantasy" (1977) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTQJ2QiK4QU&playnext;=1&list;=AL94UKMTqg-9AIdf-oDDL0ZRzIehPw5WY6 Top Tracks for Diana Ross & the Supremes Starts with; Love Child!!!! Beautiful imagery!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IluVWcNtR8&list;=AL94UKMTqg-9BkdB7ckbcLpD9AIriJX-5P **The Power of Music & Images Used On One Of The Most Popular & Most Loved Ballads Of All Time, Enjoy!!!** ***Top Tracks for Chicago Starts with;*** Hard To Say I'm Sorry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqq3tW3iACw&playnext;=1&list;=AL94UKMTqg-9ABX4lv1Ast8ZktnOYg-vpB Okay so double triple down on this!!!!!!!! LOVE CHILD Diana Ross & The Supremes ***~Sky Isa Love~~ What can I say my first album;*** LOVE CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gets me every time!!!!!!! More Beautiful Imagery!!! Afu Ra Ka ALL!!!!! (see note) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2icqNPcNS4 EARTH WIND & FIRE-WOULD YOU MIND ...Sky Isa Love very beautiful once again!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rInQEQ-yUc A Motown mega-mix mashup: Motor City's biggest hits combined with classic Christmas songs, sung by your favorite Motown stars. Includes.... "I Saw My Girl Kissing Santa Claus" "I Jingle That Emotion" "I Heard It From The Red Nosed Reindeer" "Claus Get Next To You" "Santa Was a Rollin' Stone" "Ain't No Silent First Noel" ...as performed by.... Stevie Wonder Michael Jackson Smokey Robinson The Temptations The Supremes The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ...and, of course, the Funk Brothers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNvoSf2389k THAT IS ALL!!! LOVE ALL!!!! Sa Sa Ra!!!!
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