"chomped" poems
You were always
an early bird, and I wasn't,
but my favorite thing was
to stumble out of my slumber
and hungrily look at my phone for a text saying
wake up
to which I would hurriedly respond,
though three hours later,
and you knew I would,
so as soon as I did as you predicted
you would command me to
drive the less-than-ten-minutes to your apartment
so you could cook me some
breakfast,
and we could get lost in each other.
You made me eggs and bacon
and always a biscuit with my choice of topping,
and you'd put on whatever CD we
currently found relevant,
that one time I know it was Ne-Yo,
and I chomped on my plate full of yummies
so cheerily
as you made me listen so closely to
lyrics you knew I would
just
get.
10 AM and I was somehow
thrilled to be out of bed,
enjoying the way the sun peeked behind the clouds
and stroked my cheek
as we shared a smoke on your porch.
You were the kinda guy that
made me like mornings,
that made me
feel the weight of the words in songs,
that made me appreciate art
and notice how pink
the sunset was,
that made me want to read the newspaper
so I could pick your brain and
pay attention in class so I could
tell you what I learned,
that made my world brighter
and my burdens lighter.
You were you and
you made me a certain kinda me and
**** do I sometimes still wanna
wake up
and eat some eggs while you
tell me your dreams and
your stereo plays.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 12:57 AM UTC
Adam and Eve lived here
before she went vegan
and chomped the wrong apple
dropping them both into deep schtuck
with a difficult learning curve
before they got up to speed
as our progenitors
and began begetting.
With only two to start with
there had to have been a lot of ******
with begats here and begats there
and still, the gene pool stayed clean
without fits and starts
so there must have been a Divine Profiler
in the sky keeping the books straight
with our future at stake.
But there is a question?
In the beginning there were only two
so was Adam the midwife
and if so
where did he learn the skills
the whole midwifery bit
the gentle initial slap
to get the first wail ever on this earth
Interesting theological
and philosophical thoughts
not even thinking
about baby clothes
and the like
I suppose breastfeeding
was a must before Baby Formula
Deep thoughts for Easter
Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 5:23 PM UTC
There goes mary...
On her way down to the shop
She's off to buy some liquorice
And lots of fizzy pop...
Sweet tooth mary...
With her teeth as black as sin
She gave the children nightmares
When she smiled her mouldy grin
She chomped her way through toffee bars
And bags filled to the brim
With sugar cakes and frosted flakes
But mary's fate was grim
For mary learnt a lesson
A price for her sweet taste
She spent her cash on candy
And never bought toothpaste
That night as mary lay in bed
With sweet wrappers beneath
Toothfairies came with hobnailed boots
And kicked out all her teeth !
Sep 8, 2010
Sep 8, 2010 at 10:58 AM UTC
Harry the Hippo was a circus fave
For 15 years on the center stage.
He delighted kids young and old
Balancing ***** on his oversized nose.
Year after year
Show after show
Harry delighted
with his big, whopping nose.
No one under the big top
could have guessed
What horrible thing
Would happen next
From the front of crowd,
in a colorful seat,
A blond haired boy
tossed Harry a treat
Harry chomped it down
and continued his act,
Then
Suddenly
Harry stopped,
And fell flat on his back
Harry rolled right
Harry rolled left
then
Harry died a
Painful...
choking...
death
The Ringleader called for the hippo doc
Who told him that Harry died from
Anaphyalactic shock
Brought on by a child’s
Peanut lollipop
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 24, 2013 at 3:09 PM UTC
With my friends, I goose-stepped down a dingy street, us all chomping down on pigs’ feet meat
My wet ears, inexperience glistening, opened up to the city eagerly listening
Heard orders for ****** and boy toys which, essentially, created walls of white noise
Found my way onto a queen-sized lump of trash and determined it a quality place to crash
Woke up suddenly to find the third eye of my mind permanently blind
Watched my body plunge into the absolute abysmal solely due to a habit of feeling terribly dismal
Started painting an accurate portrait of daily life using the ornate hues of continuous strife
Made a recipe for misery with some sassafras and a dab of the other side’s greener grass
It wasn’t until I chomped down on a half-finished Baby Ruth that my noggin’ tuned into the truth
Turns out, birds of a feather are held together by the absolute weakest of tethers
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 7:29 PM UTC
Limp, lingering, low
it hangs overhead
like a nagging grammatical error
It hangs overheard
like the sagging breast i never looked for/
we chomped at the bit til our teeth fell out
but i never liked food much anyhow
well hung, but only on semantics
rusty, rotten, ridgid, romantic
Its starting again because lord only knows
I can hold a grudge so much better than a pose
Mar 31, 2013
Mar 31, 2013 at 2:27 PM UTC
The sun burning through clouds
never chomped so loud,
I'm surprised the moon's still alive.
Breaking ice in the town,
our minds floating around
cold wind throwing crystals and knives.
Aug 31, 2011
Aug 31, 2011 at 1:19 PM UTC
Trix sat in his comfy seat, his friends
All waiting for his words of as the race was
Set in the dust nebula Atria
Its dark in space only stars glitter.
But in the dust cloud it was like rainbows blossomed
A light show of the universal beauty.
Right my fluffiest friends its time to launch.
3
2
1
Rockets ignited and away they went,
Captain Trix was nibbling on a cucumber stick.
Then from no where the naughty Cat Captain Frost
Bashed and knocked at their ship, and off the
Race course they fell. They tumbled into a pocket of
Darkest space. Captain its dark in here, the lights
Faded and all was dark. Trix could hear teeth chattering.
Be calm my friends, there is nothing scary in the shadows.
Take out your carrot coins, and nibble, chew,
And with that, once finger licked and all was chomped
All that was heard was trix voice, right can we all
See? yes captain carrot vison is a go.
They set a course out of this darkest place and
Out they popped into normal space, colours gleamed
As they saw they were in last place.
Rockets burst into action and they flew in
And out, weaving through the clouds
One pasted, two pasted, three pasted
Now they were in second place.
Who should be in first place naughty Captain Frost
He had a coat as white as snow. but that was
As far as his niceness did go. He was a naughty
Kitty and everyone did know.
Sir he is blocking our path, we cant get through
Ok secret decoy time fluffy friends.
3
2
1
Cats attention set adrift sir, and into space it wondered,
In sight of Captain Frosts view. Out came the holding
Claws, and the space wool did bobble and excitement
Was the pleasure of kitties day. While they entertained
Themselves, Captain Trix did glide on past.
Full speed ahead as they race past the finish line.
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 11, 2016 at 9:55 AM UTC
She begs me for mercy
But I don't hear her pleas
She sees I am blood thirsty
She falls to her knees
I love to watch them squirm
I love the way they are dominated
She wants it and it will be on my term
I love how much I am hated
In her mouth outlined with tears a put my ****
She looked so hungry that I just had to let her start feeding
But she must of bin because she Chomped down on my stock
All I saw when I looked down was a stub that was bleeding
The End
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 21, 2016 at 7:52 AM UTC
You were six years old when your parents took you to the art museum
and you almost died. Fell down four flights of stairs,
yet stood up with nothing more than a scrape on your bicep.
Mom will call this day *a miracle, the day her daughter escaped
almost certain death*. Sometimes, though, you wish you could have hit your head
a little harder; chomped down so hard on your tongue that part of it
could have fallen off (and maybe then you could be beautiful.)
The problem is, your mom tells her coworkers that it’s
God’s Gift of Life that you’re still here. Sometimes she squeezes
your hand so hard you’ll worry she’ll break your bones,
which are already so thin, just the way she likes them. (Because
a near-death experience does not justify something like
chubby fingers.) (Even to your mother, who held you in her arms
as you whimpered at the bottom of a staircase and kissed
your forehead as she told you it would be okay.)
Your friends tell you that you’re meant to be here, and they
love you, they really do, and your tongue tastes flat and boring
in your mouth as you clamor for an interesting story to tell, a tale
of survival that will make them miss you
even when they have you, and yet you find
nothing: nothing.
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 11, 2017 at 3:29 PM UTC
authors note
Hey Everyone! This is a little peom I made with one line from each of my peoms fused together. It's a little strange but I wanted to represent all of my work. I hope you like it!!! Crandall
I feel safe with your power
You chomped me and swallowed me whole
you're pitch dark eyelashes, like pitch dark strings
your kindness, happiness, gorgeousity
corporations are evil
crandall's art was super great
our wurld is a mess
you whispered it in my ear as soft as a pillow that i have just fluffled by beating it
i hear your screeches as you sing along to katy perry's "swish swish"
towers of grape, rolling bouncing
my fingers would slide down it like a sheet of paper on a river of melted butter
paper-thin beetle wings,
fear
i love the little *****
eggs remind me of you
the next day i saw you your eye was the size of a glob of clove powder
Or an ant on a log
peoms
That was your licky number,
Don't be ashamed of your hobnobs.
I pear down and see its little legs trembing, shaking in death
the repriduction of the universe
howdy doo
darknes.
my princess, my darling, my murderer
the ocean, salty like my tears
My thoughts were running wild like snip snip
i g u e s s t h i s i s j u s t a c r u e l w o r l d
i smell you
take the nuts
Your kneecaps
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 12:53 AM UTC
It was a dark silvery night
And the moon had gone a-hiding
And the birds had ceased a-chirping
When I beheld a ****** sight
A gripping, chilling tale of fright.
It was a high and lofty place
And there I stood a-shivering
And in that terrace a-trembling
When down the lane I saw a face
A tall, thin man walked in a daze.
It was a large and rusty ax
And in his right hand a-swinging
And in its blade, the blood a-dripping
When… ‘Horrors, horrors!’ and I gasped!
He drank the blood, and then he laughed!
It was a round and severed head
And in his left hand a-clinging
And in its neck the wound a-gaping
When suddenly, he chomped and chewed!
He ate the head! Oh God, the head!
Yes, ’twas a high and lofty place
And there I stood a-shivering
And in that terrace a-trembling
When down I gazed and saw a face
A tall, thin man below my terrace.
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 15, 2017 at 1:32 PM UTC
~for all the old poets,
especially one so denominated, my old faithful friend…~
<>
the
THEY,
emboldened and italicized,
are whispering and whimpering,
even
whining
that I’ve gone
wimpy,
lost possess of mine
facilities and faculties,
no longer able and capable
to command, demand, in hand,
import
a decent poem
from & in the English language(s) to
purport,
lost my edges,
hide behind the hedges
of inconsequential ancestral
and incestual rhymes,
these
THEY
do oft appear as voices in my
now emptied and unemployed head,
but familiarity breeds contemporary
contretemps of contempt,
for they are remiss,
in dismiss when the eyelids
flutter,
the noble temporal lobes
mutter,
*’tis thy~thyme ole man,
for spillage of your*
FPOTD
(first poem of the day)
thus kneecapping the cancer
of a restless dark hour period
where failures and faults,
of lines
crossed and uncrossed,
bear you to pieces,
bare your lifetime
laundry list
of pulsing, palpable,
fulminating and always ruminating faults
of which penance cannot be bought
by the bags of pennies and sordid assorted coins
that THEY
will find in the back bottom of thine closets,
along with the manuscripts
of the discarded and forlorn,
unloved and unpublished poems that you chose
to have buried with you,
lest you think that
eternal rest
will best
them voices,
they will accompany you
to permafrost of forever dark,
their once and future demise,
a travesty of
justice…
enough.
lists of to do’s;
the exercise of delaying death
for one more day,
by trodding on the treadmill
that postpones the inevitable
that can
always tun longer and faster
and cannot be outdone, outrun,
but
this poem
disgorged and disbanded,
it’s bytes,
will not bite mark me
in the forever future
*their bytes are alive now,
free to be chomped and well chewed,
and once fully digested,
be return to our Mother
Earth*
where some disclaimed poems
go to be buried
within it’s eternity
Apr 21, 2024
Apr 21, 2024 at 10:16 AM UTC
The Earth opened her mouth and swallowed me whole
She started with my feet and moved slowly to my heart
I felt my muscles relax as she chewed, chomped and tore me apart
She jabbed at my eyes, she scratched at my spleen
I cried out for help but was never seen
I'm under her fingernails, smeared on her face
The scars on my back can never be erased
I gasp Quick! for air but could not breathe
From her loving arms I will never leave
The Earth opened her mouth and swallowed me whole
She keeps chewing and chomping
but she'll never be full.
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 12:08 AM UTC
How loud the dead men walked
Stumbling grumbling bumbling
How horribly they stalked
Moaning, groaning, loudly owning
All the night in which they walked
Our conversation died
But still the dead men talked
Of brains, and organs, kidneys, spleen,
We broke and then we baulked
Bustling hustling soundless rustling
Towards the exit almost out until we knocked
The vase that shattered splattered and we scattered
The dead men stopped, with dead heads cocked
Towards the sound of breaking glass
We stared dead eyes as all were shocked
Then the keening, awful screaming full of meaning
Sprinting, running, breathless fleeing from the dead that came careening
Heedless, reckless, mindless feckless,
Almost out but we were blocked
Stuck and captured cowed and caught
How we tried but were outfought
Chewed and chomped by jaws so locked
And now I to feel dead and rot
Taking over, bleeding stopped
Eyes are going legs are shot
Stiff and moaning and not knowing
How horribly us dead men walk
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 8:43 PM UTC
Your lips were blood red
Dripping with fervor
Your teeth were shining white
Like pearls or snow
Your tongue was a snake tongue
Forked and ready to last out with hurtful words
So entrancing
You ate me up with this mouth
You chomped me and swallowed me whole
You never said sorry
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 8:09 PM UTC
hey, it came about that i was
and it was thus that i am
or is
and will be was
but so of now i will be
if only yet but not still a while
and if so i'll do some thinking
and some thoughting
or stand or eat (or sometimes both) or sometimes neither
and if by day
so too at night
I'll come to these
the dead length of
heavy words
which writ by men of learned haste
i,ve chomped the morsel of
their fat and narrow tidy
skinny wide messes
in chapters and verse
yet what will stodgily
revolve to fore is central
the chiefest realization
of my riggling dearth
is that all is simply unsimple
a great prfounding
a small and illustrious sound
(everything is paradox
so too are i as you
and you or i
a truths a lie
or lying truth
and if you listen hard enoughyoucanhearalmostnothingrattledeeplyfirmingorfirmlydeepening . . ,
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 7, 2011 at 11:06 AM UTC
A mosquito chomped me!
It hurt, so I got mad at it.
I shooed and swatted it away,
over and over again,
but it wouldn't leave!
Minute after minute
Swat after swat
Mr. Mosquito went splat
And a small wave of victory overcame my hurt.
Small.
The chomp was still there
but the mosquito wasn't
Did my revenge really make a difference?
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 2:02 PM UTC
Without further ado
i offer my literary missives anew
fur ye to ponder and brew
from meister mwm of his motley crue,
whom dwells in a nada very complex edifice
which numb burr oof offspring equals deux
whereby this spouse i.e me kind of resembles an emu
whence money a edified reader considers
dis goy wit sum brain cells 2 few
chomped on by an carnivorous elder gnu
and said two female progeny sired
from one ova plus super seminal glue
swimming swiftly via viscous hue
genetic heritage comprised predominantly Jew
with one late uncle Lou,
who himself wed a milch cow, she frequently did moo
which found me to rue
what comprises reality to be true
that all humans originated from the primate zoo.
**** Sapiens Sale hums lot
witnessed vicious thermal winds that blew
thick mass of cremated ashes
across rubble strewn,
and severely cratered landscape!
The devil made mince meat
as like one huge lumbering ogre
and grim reaper
rolled up into one
not so jolly green giant did slay
good will to all men,
and spat out pox with an emphatic nay
triumphing over godly salvation
using eponymous accursed pitchfork
made merry and rolled in the hay
simultaneously sneering out in delight
at wanton death and decay
whereby civilization forever mutilated
perforated said spindled
and inappropriately sensually fondled
world wide web structure
where once proud arm strong spikes radiated
now sundered in total chaotic disarray!
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 12:33 AM UTC
Our Mom died five years ago today.
Covid took her.
I prefer to be alone in my foul mood
In the big park on an empty bench sat yours truly and a ten pound bag of nuts
Others were having a lively Sunday far from the bench
The nuts were placed between two trees
One squirrel chomped on the shell
Nine nuts later looking for more
Three other squirrels some smaller partaked
Lovely company on a sad day
Leaving they continued their banquet by their trees
Aug 3, 2025
Aug 3, 2025 at 2:16 PM UTC
puke and puke again
how much did I eat?
I chomped and chewed it all
swallowed it down with barrels of laughter
Bit and chewed all and ever after
smiled at those who would bring me into their circle
and what a circle it was
More square than any squared could be
I stood, a Poet, unknown, in the midst,
In the very centre, and puked, all I could puke
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC