the life I lived was like a fairytale

than you came around with your mysterious charms
and decided to make a mess out of things
that weren't even there to begin with

you came in my life and everything changed
colorfull flowers turned into ashes
stars didn't shine like they used to
and suddenly my world revolved around you

I couldn't think about anything else but you
I couldn't dream about anything else but you
I couldn't even breathe

your white blonde hair and black eyes
you always had this kind of speaking that impressed me
he was elegant, he was smart, he was bold, a leader
and all these little things made me fall for him even more

you were evil and everyone could see it
this boy was the king of not showing emotions
he was kinda heartless sometimes, but I didn't mind

he always made feel loved, special
like nobody else excisted for him, it was only me

but sometimes even I didnt know how to handle his demons
everytime the darkness took him over I was afraid of him
and I could see in his eyes that he enjoyed me being scared
he liked having this control over people, it was wrong

this boy was the best yet worst thing that ever happend to me
I found comfort in the way he saw things different

everyday I needed him a little bit more
he was like my personal drug and he knew it
without him he knew I wouldn't survive
he made me need him

and everytime I looked at him I saw a demon
but this kid was so so beautiful, it made me blind
and I still don't know if I should walk away or not

the childeren of lucifer,
the most beautiful of all God's angels
we are so much lovelier when we fall.

I must report the passing of a dear old friend today
I'm not sure when it happened, but I felt I had to say
That the Vegas that's in movies, books, and on TV
Is not the one that you will find, it's not the one you'll see
I know your expectations are of glitter and of lights
Of singers in the lounges that play into the night
The lounges now are empty of the singers and the bands
Instead they're full of djs, and bad magicians badly tanned,
The song that was Las Vegas is not one thats in your head
The one you know with Elvis, is now gone, you see it's dead
The old hotels are gone now, It's not like it was before
The new buzzword in Vegas is now just, MORE, MORE, MORE
It's now a culture aimed at being bigger than the rest
For now it seems that bigger, means you're now known as the best
There's hotels full of bedbugs and the service is the *****
But, the casino doesn't care if there are people in the pits
The strip is nearly two miles long, and almost half is blank
It's like the desert opened up and ten casinos sank
At one end is the Stratosphere, it's got a real cool view
But, because of it's location it's not easy to get to
The Sahara was next closest, but now the Lady's gone
And to walk from this tram stop at night, well I cannot say it's fun
It's dingy and it's ***** and it's not a place to be
I wouldn't recommend this part, it's not a place to see
Freemont Street, The Old Vegas is off the beaten path
It's an hour ride upon the bus, and a taxi...do the math
It's just a place to go to once, there's no reason to return
And if you ever visit here, I think that's what you'll learn
The middle part of the strip is glitzy and spread out
It's kind of close to what Las Vegas is about
It's not all geared to people who have childeren all in tow
These ultra cool casinos is where you might just want to go
The other end is busy, but it's full of gloom and doom
And on every single corner, you can get girls to your room
There's people handing out small cards with women with a price
Who'll come up to your room and well....let's say they don't play dice
On every bridge across the strip, there's beggars and there's hawkers
They're selling everything from cds to bottled dollar water
It's tourist town, a fast food mess, it's Disneyland on crack
There's lots of things to do down here, but you must always watch your back
Did The Mirage **** it?, when Steve Wynn said let's go really huge
Hotels like this were ten times larger than the Moulin Rouge
It wasn't when Hughes came to town and bought the Desert Inn
You know the land that's now the new home of the casino known as Wynn?
It didn't die when Elvis left, it sill was full of life
But at someime since the town has died, it has fallen on the knife
The strip itself is two miles long, but you know that that's not all
In the years since Elvis left, it's become a big strip mall
There's stores here selling plastic , and the people shop in streams
I'm not sure, but to me NIKE is not the Vegas in my dreams
Rolling in their graves, I bet the stars who made this town
Are sitting in heaven or hell, saying when did it go down
There's more shows now of tribute acts and hypnotists galore
And you can find a Circus from Quebec through nearly every hotel door
At some point rigor mortis set into this old girl
I wish they could revive her, at least give it a whirl
There's buffets selling fried foods, obesity....my lord
And if you don't go out to Denny's, the restaurants you can't afford
My mind has got an image of Vegas that is cool
It involves going out late and spending daytime at the pool
You dress to go to dinner, maybe dancing and a show
And the concierge at the hotel is someone you should know
But now, you go out shopping to the outlet in the day
The casinos are all empty, since there's no one left to play
Getting dressed to go to dinner, means you switch from shorts to jeans
And the ways some people act now, well it's borders on obscene.
So, today I'd like to ask you all, for you may know more than I
But, can anybody tell me, just when did Vegas die?

it were the city nights I fell for, the cheap parfume you smelled like

if life was for the living and living was for the dead
than what is the space inbetween.. hate and love are not the same thing
and maybe a long time ago someone should have told me that

feeling like an outcast was like sitting in a train with no destination
you always felt useless, rain was falling that day, like it always did
the times when she was sad, she was so miserable, she felt nothing.

the childeren of the light always were afraid of the darkness
we were never afraid of the darkness because so far as we knew
we were the dark, the kids to be afraid of, the bad youth, the wolves

nobody ever wanted us and thats why all we ever had was each other
and the rockstars who sang along the broken words of songs with us
the tragic melodies were the only sort of comfort I found at night..
when you my bestfriend just as wasted as I am was sleeping..
I needed them, my idols, their voices, the music, to keep me breathing

and maybe we lost her that night for a reason wait no many reasons
it was all meant to be, the shouting and crying, the need to die..
it was a bigger part of our lives, all of that than she will ever be

the girls who had to much alcohol in their blood at night, to much fun
were also the girls who cried to many tears at daylight, to much sadness
we never knew how to handle ourselves, just seeking for aception..
a person who would give a **** about us, someone who would care

life was sad darling, you were so sad, I was so sad, everything was sad
but all the sadness never stopped us from having an amazing time
we needed each other to be happy, I needed you so much..

now it is just us again, you and me against the world
and I think it will always be just you and me, just us
and for me that is okay

because I wouldn't want to make all these memories, these adventures
with anybody else but you, my bestfriend, my sister, my everything.

I was walking through the Courtyard
holding children in my hand.
As I glanced upon the scenery
they fell from me like sand.
So often searched have I,
The path that I had tread;
seeking all the children
lost that I had bred.
I hope they are safe and warm,
More than that I hope they are not dead.

These children give me all I have
and their life force and mine
are much the same.
Yet ask me not to Identify all,
for sharing are they, my name.
I keep them near me as best I can
for to lose them shall cause me pain,
and I shall adopt so many new ones
and by them I shall gain.
I actually cannot see them
yet six trillion I hear I have.
They are so inclined to wandering
I might loose some with just a bath.

~Welcome the Eighth of days!!
Whereby the snake of fear becomes our best of friend transmutable,
we come here now ready already in~~

"Joy"
~'Release all your fear
Heaven anticipates earth
Rolling in laughter'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/joy-18/

‎"Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world.

The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same.

Every wonderful sight will vanish,

every sweet word will fade,

But do not be disheartened,

The source they come from is eternal, growing,

Branching out, giving new life and new joy.

Why do you weep?

The source is within you

And this whole world is springing up from it".


-Rumi~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/rumi-weep-within-you-springing-up-from-it/

~'So It Is Sown!!!

From,
The Heart of the Infinite Deep Dark Sea of LOVE <3 <3 :) :)!!!
From where she and all is sprung and springs still and still;
Where if some is Good More Is Given!!!!

Welcome to the 8th of Days...
My Dearly departed and imperishable ones of such this very LOVE!!!'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/dearly-departed-1/

'Satyam Shivam Sundram Love Truly as Kindness in Action
as Beauty Be of Great Spirits's Ka- Alling Afu Ra's Childeren All
Must Be One Great Womb Where Our Love's Light Spirit Breathes
Within as without, above and below every rainbow I Am Another You';
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/in-lakech-ala-kin/

'I know of these flock's,
Of all the little birds and swarms,
Of bees, but whom did 'Tweet',

Which did 'Pollinate' Lovely Upon Such,
A Shimmering Glimmering Flowering Field,

I know not which one,
or if s/he was or is still sleeping!!!

**"Bliss's!!R'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/glimmer-the-field/

2012 Crossing Over, A New Beginning;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlfYHAV1i8w

'Nostradamus and sleeping prophet's One lost image of the singular Eye';
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/columbuss-crossing/

'Nostradamus too understood so much within,
With and about these could find no conclusion,
Of otherwise what was self evident,
Certain kinds of trends predictable,

But a blank of 'time/space',
That went blank thereabouts by,
Nine Times Nine the 81st page,
'The Lost Book of Nostradamus',
Where it was left open...

IS... Us...

Knock Knock!!!
BLISS

You can become

'One' with this then 'Great Architect',
See, Understand A Midwife Be Need,

Then Also Completely That None Can Be Left Out Indeed!!!'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/come-home-all-returning/

"KISS Kiss'S KissES"!!!

'Keep It Simple Silly

'Sweet

Especially Sweet!!!'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/kiss-kisss-kisses-1/

"HEART TIME"

'GOOD  Time
Bad Time

HEART

NO TIME

HEART

NO TIME
AT ALL'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/heart-time/

"Knock Knock BLISS!!!"

'If this BLISS comes knockin'
BLISS wants in, O' Be Lite Swift

Say the 'Door Is Already Open'
Bring Friends All The More!!!'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/knock-knock-bliss/

'Dancing In LOVE's
Joyly Fun Seeking
Thine Rightfully
Divined Kiss's
Thine Divine
All Willing
Alrighty
Got
\/
.
.
And
Out of
Ode Baseless
Fearful Trances
Hypnotic Spell's
Broken Freed
~Of IT ALL~
Abusively
Already
Leave's
If You
Let It
Be!!
\/
S
o'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/my-needs-deep-of-all/

~'We Shall Launch That
Greater Magical Mystery
'IT' of them ALL!!!'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/friend-of-heaven/

~'Know soonly
We shall find,

Truly Abundantly Food
For Our Bodies And Souls;

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK!!!'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/here-we-are-eight-days-a-week/

~'Your heart
torrential river
rushing reaching
touching changes all
at once all so between
it's every beating!!!'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/yours-and-mine/

~'As we breathe so too it follows like the Great Tantric Being...'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/faith-from-whence-they-came/

~'Solomon is here with me man
and we laughing really we can
understand the wooing of such
pains fading Heaven oh so hard
and at once too easily off!!'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/solomon-is-here/

~'Sure I can understand your heart
that just assume chop garlic really

and more than imagine
the quandaries

and about the fairly's of lonely's

wide by wakeful heart of eye
I can dream about the hopes, dares

and of your despairs of your great
yet uncertain missions too'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/garlic-really-or/

~'Still I say
Forgive me all!!!

Oh silly me,
for to be or not to be,
twas not question after all,'~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/forgive-me-all/

~'In any Darkness at all,

This or night, still you will find,
there is truly only More Love Willing,

To Come Into the Sphere' of Our Beings,'~~
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/this-eye-timothy/

"Mind Games" - John Lennon

We're playing those mind games together

Pushing the barriers, planting seeds
Playing the mind guerrilla

Chanting the mantra, peace on earth
We all been playing those mind games forever

Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil
Doing the mind guerrilla

Some call it magic, the search for the grail

Love is the answer and you know that for sure
Love is a flower, you got to let it, you got to let it grow

So keep on playing those mind games together

Faith in the future, outta the now

You just can't beat on those mind guerrillas
Absolute elsewhere in the stones of your mind

Yeah we're playing those mind games forever
Projecting our images in space and in time

Yes is the answer and you know that for sure
Yes is surrender, you got to let it, you got to let it go

So keep on playing those mind games together
Doing the ritual dance in the sun

Millions of mind guerrillas
Putting their soul power to the karmic wheel

Keep on playing those mind games forever
Raising the spirit of peace and love

Love...
(I want you to make love, not war, I know you've heard it before)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/imagine-this-two-by-john-lennon-1/

“When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.
To love life through labor is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.
All work is empty save when there is love, for work is love made visible.”
~~Kahlil Gibran~~~!!!
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/kahlil-gibran-such-your-beauty-of-love/

'We gift each other,
I will run with what you impart,
to me and with what I see,
your most precious gifts,'
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/again-with-for-timothy-one-with-all/

'As much as this is simple truth,
I know those now whose body itself is one with this inner spirit,
and runs in defiance of all other illusion!!!'

"Know then that the body is merely a garment
Go seek the wearer , not the cloak."

~ Rumi
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/in-defiance-of-all-other-illusion/

a black bracelet, it started with a black bracelet and so it will end.

we fell appart that night under the screaming of the oh so loud crowd
you because of the pills you ate, I because of the whiskey I drank
maybe this was the sign, it was supposed to happen that night..
a sign everything went wrong in our little heads, we were gone

it was that night you called me and telling me to leave
not only you wanted me to leave in spirit but also to leave your heart

she always was so beautiful with the light of the moon shining on her
I loved her like the childeren loved playing with broken dying dolls
and I hated her for wanting me to leave her ugly ****** up heart

it were real feelings, everything was so real..
the feeling of your lips on my cheeks, your hands on my waist
so please don't cry tonight or tomorrow, please be happy my dear
you are a thousand miles away but I still want you to feel like home
the birds aren't singing when you are so far away from me, crying

the ocean was dying and the waves were red from blood, tears.
the smoke in the sky started to form a mirror, I could see myself now.

a black bracelet is were it started, a black bracelet.

The lights are out ......and the clouds sail past the window.
I can't wait until naptime is done....I want to play with my friends and have some fun.

I see the other kids and they fall off one by one....like a set of dominoes set up by a magician.  I'm laying on my back staring at the ceiling .....the teacher comes to my cot and asks me how I am feeling.

I said "I'm not sleepy", and he says "you should try".  Close your eyes and you will fall asleep....if that doesn't work ....try counting sheep.

I still couldn't sleep and was just laying there....the other children were all sleep now....and he returned to me.

He kneeled next to my cot and said "maybe this will help you sleep".  
The teacher unzipped my pants and pulled out my little meat.

The feeling that I received felt really good and I did go to sleep.

This happened two more times during the week......I never told anyone ....because I didn't know.
All I knew is that it made me feel good and I was able to sleep....he wasn't a teacher. This man was a creep.

He preyed on a child who didn't have a clue.  

I was abused at home...so I never said anything about what happened at school.  This was the place where I was allowed to have fun.....and wasn't confined to a room with a lock.  Instead of watching television I was learning how to block.....but I was always accused of flopping.

I've seen stars many times...and I've never been to outer space.  Those views came from several slaps across the face.  The memories don't produce any smiles....they just gave me a blueprint on how not to raise a child.

I didn't have any toys....or a bed.  I was a prisoner in a room that was blue......it's crazy that I like that hue.  My room was ***** trapped with pieces of thread....to see if I had been out....and I was smart .....so he put on a latch....he became mad because I learned how to take it off and put it back.

  He eventually installed a lock with a key.  If you have to use the bathroom ....you have to ask me.  Wow...you are my father not a sheriff or a deputy.

My father was on drugs and beat me like a stranger.  I felt school was the lesser of the dangers.  I'm a product of abuse and I sit here and write.

I'm realizing that Jesus helped me win the fight.  How you may ask did he help me win? I'm learning about this word called Sin.  When the teacher abused me .....he planted the seed of lust.

The enemy attacks when you are young.  His job is to steal, **** and destroy.  I was supposed to be dead....not helping other abused boys.

I now work with childeren who suffered from similar situations....and I say to them......allow school to be a vacation.....away from the abuse and cursing.  I'm rebuilding their self esteem and allowing them to dream about a different life.

I tell them that my life was also filled with strife.  The children with father's who seldom bother.....are the one's that break my heart.  My dad wasn't around....but God provided me with another start.  

I survived the tests and now I have a testimony.....To help those who are abused and lonely.  I've been on that street and I have ran away on several occasions.....

I almost died...but that's another story.  I'm just getting some answers about who I am......and why I make the decisions I do.  I just shared a real deep piece of my life story with you.

The reason.....God told me to.


Help prevent child abuse.....save a few lives

want leads to greed
want leads to obesity
want leads to death
want leads to determination
want leads to the fake meaning of need
want leads to people being naieve
if there was no want in the world wouldn't it be so much better?
But we can'thave a happy go luck world where everyone's content within what they have can we?
But if there was no want in the world there would be no drive to keep us going,
there would be no people out there who don't just want but truly need to see the world change, to make the world change,
there would be no people out there who will start the evolution,
there would be no people who want to honestly simply HELP,
even if theese people are rare,
even with theese people being scarce,
even with theese people still growing up,
even with theese people wasteing away of old age,
they are still out there.
because thoose people are the one's from every background, who have expierenced it all, who want to expierence it all simply so they can use it to be better to become what the world needs, thrives for, can't keep spinning without.
we the people have the power to change to revolutionize to be different
we the people can shut thoose voices out,
we the people will be better than thoose who can't comprehend, than thoose too weak at the moment,
we the people will help thoose at the bottom screaming for help,
we the people will help thoose in the middle, thoose at the very top, thoose down in the ground that are screaming for our helpping hands,
because we the people simply can,
because we the people have to change the world,
because we the people have to try not for music, not for your parents, not for your future childeren, not for your religion, not because people think it's the right thing to do, But simply because we CAN do what we want simply because we have the POWER to make changes, so my friends take this chance as this world spins to stop it yank it out of the governements fragile, cowardly hands,
and ****** it in the air
Simply because we
CAN

I was never good at writing love poems untill I met you

we all have this one person you would do anything for, like anything
you could die for that other human without hesitation, without doubt

they know each other for almost a year now and a lot had changed
she fell in love with her that year and it killed you inside, everything
she wanted to give up on her so many times, it was so so hopless
and I knew, I knew you loved me, I knew you were in love with me

maybe she was just afraid to let someone in, to let someone love her
it was the darkness that was always haunting her, the demons inside
I remember the first time the razors kissed my veins, it was a thursday
I remember the blood and the crying, the shame and the crying, crying

it were the wodka and punk rock music the piercings and tattoos
the time of high wasted jeans and timberlands, red lipstick and eyeliner
the stories the kids told on the street were probably made up, fake
even the broken childeren needed a laugh once in a while, fake
nobody thought that we also deserved to be happy, just for once..

we could blame it on the internet or television, the time we live in
blame our parents for not loving us the way they should love us
the pills we ate every night just to find a way to escape this **** hole

this girl always made feel a little bit more alive but now she's gone
she's gone and I know she is coming back soon but she feels gone
like that part of me that was made for her is gone, I feel alone again
music is filling the hole what is left crying in my heart, my soul

and if I begged you would you stop this, the feeling of loneliness
can you stop me from hurting myself, stop me from being worthless
happy endings are made for happy people, I am not getting one, ever

I always was a sucker for attention and cheap love, dont blame me

love poems aren't a thing for me.

at a very young age I made a deal with lucifer
I was a little kid and the darkness surrounded me
demons telling me stories, the devil was close

my friends were scared and so was my family
I always told them it was okay
not to be like the other childeren

talking with things they couldn't see
seeing things they didn't want to hear

and after a while even my therapist called me special
I hate it when people use words like that
when they actually mean something else

I havent slept very fell since you left,
Delorian come back.

There are many ideals upon the earth,
Who're praised for utmost truth, without a flaw,
Taught to the ignorant childeren since birth,
Meant forever to be a sacred law.
Today they said, "it is forever going,
It can't be wrong in this lasting design!"
A thing that history is never showing,
Which displays the ruins of church and shrine.
I can't follow idols of fickle men,
Adjusting agendas each day and night,
Not written down by light-scattering pen,
And not commanded by Divine Might.
    Let the world spin, again a thousand years,
    And they will fade away, from hopes to fears.

there once was a girl with beautiful sad blue eyes

she wrote stories about the moon and the twinkling stars above
because they were a million miles away and no one could ever touch
these things in the sky were so vulnerable yet untouchable, innocent

she sang little melodies about people who were so crazy in love
she could sing those songs with so much emotion and happiness
yet this girl was the one walking around wondering
if she could ever know how it felt, the feeling of being in love

this girl had her own way of living in this angry big world
she saw the beauty in normal things like a smile or a hug
but not just in things she saw beauty also in human beings

or maybe all of this was just an act..
to hide her own little problems for everyone else, the world
maybe the smile that she wore on her face everyday was fake
maybe I saw the beauty in everything else because beauty
was the one thing I could never find within myself

and maybe that is why I got a soft spot
for all the broken childeren out there who feel alone or left out
because everytime I look into the mirror..
I see a broken child, myself.

love is for the living not for the ones with a dying soul on the inside.
love is for people who can give more than they can take.
true love is only for people with a pure soul and a golden heart.
I guess love isnt a thing for me.

a voice is for the broken ones.
talent for writing is for the lonely ones.
seeing things that arent there is for the people with an open mind.
being able to speak with the death is for the childeren who are already dying.
I guess this is more a thing for me.

we are living in a world where it is important to speak up about your problems.
you need to tell people the things you are dealing with.
but I cant do that without being judged or get called names.
Im not complaining about my hard life. Im not seeking for attention.
that is why I keep my mouth shut about everything that is going on in my head at the moment.

writing is my escape and distracting of the thing Im really wanting to do at this moment of being alone in my room thinking about why are we living on this earth.
thinking about if there really is a god? and if so.. why Im suffering everyday dying inside.

I want him to take me home, but he keeps telling me that isnt an option.
he says I dont understand the reason why Im here yet.
he cuts the conversation off but every night I will try again to get inside his head.
I need the answers.

dont you wish you were not here anymore.
only thing that will remain is bones, bones of stolen diamond.
tears falling down on my mothers knees, wanting me to come back.
but ones you begin there is no way back and we all know that.
there is a hell I have seen it, there is a hell let's keep it a secret.

Im willing to make a change in my life at this moment.
Im just waiting for my demon to come back so I can talk with him about this.
He wants me to cry he wants to see my blood,
He needs it tonight, my blood is what keeps him alive and I dont want him to go.
maybe this is just my sick mind writing.

Demons can make my hell feel like home and I never want to leave it.
being called sick is for the hopeless I am only broken.

I dont know what i could do
To help me start loveing you

Step 1
Step 2
Step 3

I laugh so hard
They all stop to look at me

In an atept to help
One hands be a book
Another a movie

At last a panflit
To teach me pationce
Untill god gifts me a husband

I drop them in the trash drown the block in a lump.
Pour my coffie on it and refuse to be told.

I want to love you like new
I want to love you our way
And no one elses
And to find out what that means.

Loveing like childeren
Living like lovers
Under the covers

Ok so sir elton john gets to have a say.
But i admit, i trust his opinoins more than those of gods and men.

I have looked to the night sky in my dreams many times.
Sometimes the stars are leaving.  
They shine brightly for a moment and then blast off into the universe..
This time the stars were chasing eachother..
I could see them..
It was as if the stars were childeren playing tag with eachother.
But then they noticed me looking at them..
They stopped for a brief moment..
Then faded into the darkness..
This strange beyond is reaching out to me..
Again and again..
I love it!!
Makes me feel at home!
Which makes me question..
Where is home?

Peace and War. Order and Chaos...
Those coincide with one another, no matter the circumstance;
Never one without the other.
Such as humanity too.
Always at war with each other.
Fighting like small childeren.
No world or society is without it, incomplete without Chaos.
For Chaos provides the first step.
A step to go into Order.
Humanity will never advance father than it has.
True Peace and Order...we shall never achieve.