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"celluloid" poems
in the hospitals and jails it's the worst in madhouses it's the worst in penthouses it's the worst in skid row flophouses it's the worst at poetry readings at rock concerts at benefits for the disabled it's the worst at funerals at weddings it's the worst at parades at skating rinks at ****** ****** it's the worst at midnight at 3 a.m. at 5:45 p.m. it's the worst falling through the sky firing squads that's the best thinking of India looking at popcorn stands watching the bull get the matador that's the best boxed lightbulbs an old dog scratching peanuts in a celluloid bag that's the best spraying roaches a clean pair of stockings natural guts defeating natural talent that's the best in front of firing squads throwing crusts to seagulls slicing tomatoes that's the best rugs with cigarette burns cracks in sidewalks waitresses still sane that's the best my hands dead my heart dead silence adagio of rocks the world ablaze that's the best for me.
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13.8k
The Worst And The Best
Her warm words wash over me like a dope fiend daze... other voices boorishly buzz a cackle cacophony. At best they are the background noise of your existence. bit players (endless layers) as she comes my way **Your body pixilates in an ******* focus**, it bends, projects all else slowly into your frame, the deja vu of ****** tunnel vision. I struggle to speak as I stand before you. All others condemned, reduced to extras in a celluloid daydream they are arrayed for your adornment   set pieces that surround you in the cinema that is your daily divine saunter body sacramental (those around you incidental) as she walks away The subtext, the reflex, the ambivalent, ambient lighting means nothing without you **my arc, my carnal ****** any other epilogue is dystopian cdh
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Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 5:25 AM UTC
******
hand cranked re-imagined 35mm slides Rough Trade posters on the wall Pepsi and premade sandwiches on the counter aperture: wide open he sees her often at the multiplex there she flirts from the third row; second seat sheer blouse hands in elliptical motion pointing toward silk chiffon shells the invite in a tilt of her mouth lip; gloss eyes hidden from the light a prayer before intermission celluloid reliquary reveals God's plans lest her trifling with him cause a miss in changeover enraging his self-regarded audience the walk back to his car one long montage of her lacing up
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May 24, 2023
May 24, 2023 at 10:02 AM UTC
The Projectionist
The scattered words disturb the silence. I prefer written pages with my left hand, But it is trembling too much to write slowly I miss him, his calm hands giving juicy oranges. Shattered glass falls in slow motion, Screams in the apartment, Just the neighbor next door. Another struggle, Another soundless fracture From the outside, It’s not visible What really hurts. I have my refuge. My piano and fingertips Strike the rhythm, Racing to speak in time. What I want to repeat to myself It isn’t lush or gentle, Only barren, like thoughts hung on a dry twig. I trace figure eights, Locked in a simple shape. I stare and cannot fathom The logic of a cold two plus two. A thought-form circles Around the blue planet. Something pointing, With its mercury finger. It speaks in an unknown dialect It shows the place to live And huge fluorescent deserts. The clouds’ minds — A piece of earth Soaked in different Kinds of screams. This is my blind chance. I was born here. In my mother’s paradise garden Spinning in dawn’s glow. Sometimes I just write To ease personal and common guilt. I hear tattooed numbers, Granting citizenship of the lower caste. And here, The fresh scent of good life in the morning. Blackbirds and thrushes fell silent. My mother knows how to speak to them, I know how to speak with trees. Everything pulses, On this small piece of earth, Giving shelter to creatures And stones no one throws. I am here in a place I can happily bear, Without cold speculation. I can still dive into metaphors, This is my greatest luxury, The gift after so many disturbing lives. It would be better to create a world With only diverse breathing gardens. I don’t need too much for living, A naked soul is enough for me. So, I am sitting in this landscape And I peacefully hope That my daughter will remember me tenderly As I remember him, my father And all who passed away. The simplest thing is The presence of every human being It's like a celluloid film strip Left behind the broken ribs In the left ventricle of the heart That never lies, never cheats me.
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Sep 3, 2025
Sep 3, 2025 at 3:13 PM UTC
Anchor of Blue Planet
The scattered words disturb the silence. I prefer written pages with my left hand, But it is trembling too much to write slowly I miss him, his calm hands giving juicy oranges. Shattered glass falls in slow motion, Screams in the apartment, Just the neighbor next door. Another struggle, Another soundless fracture From the outside, It’s not visible What really hurts. I have my refuge. My piano and fingertips Strike the rhythm, Racing to speak in time. What I want to repeat to myself It isn’t lush or gentle, Only barren, like thoughts hung on a dry twig. I trace figure eights, Locked in a simple shape. I stare and cannot fathom The logic of a cold two plus two. A thought-form circles Around the blue planet. Something pointing, With its mercury finger. It speaks in an unknown dialect It shows the place to live And huge fluorescent deserts. The clouds’ minds — A piece of earth Soaked in different Kinds of screams. This is my blind chance. I was born here. In my mother’s paradise garden Spinning in dawn’s glow. Sometimes I just write To ease personal and common guilt. I hear tattooed numbers, Granting citizenship of the lower caste. And here, The fresh scent of good life in the morning. Blackbirds and thrushes fell silent. My mother knows how to speak to them, I know how to speak with trees. Everything pulses, On this small piece of earth, Giving shelter to creatures And stones no one throws. I am here in a place I can happily bear, Without cold speculation. I can still dive into metaphors, This is my greatest luxury, The gift after so many disturbing lives. It would be better to create a world With only diverse breathing gardens. I don’t need too much for living, A naked soul is enough for me. So, I am sitting in this landscape And I peacefully hope That my daughter will remember me tenderly As I remember him, my father And all who passed away. The simplest thing is The presence of every human being It's like a celluloid film strip Left behind the broken ribs In the left ventricle of the heart That never lies, never cheats me.
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72
“Don’t consider my words the sick ecstasy of a sick mind, but you are for me perfection!” - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot I remember I can taste blood on the roof of my mouth I remember her face the first time I asked her to coffee when it rippled in a minor hemorrhage of surprise like the request was unexpected but maybe I hoped hoped for holding fiery cider in her hand she was word and color transfused when she spoke she was celluloid and strawberry blond and her smile looked like water racing over rubies and the years that I had waited to meet someone like her her hair was tied back in a hurricane of dim gold her voice spun out veins of thought fluid and manic as magma but brilliant like serrated ice I remember the cardial whiplash when she said she would like to do this again the sanguine dreams that came after giddy toss and turning turned to sleep the saccharine thought that I might be with her suddenly washing away leaving only the clean sting from the bluelit photograph of her having coffee somewhere else my sheets grew thicker as I stared I did not blink I just drank in cold acceptance of the stranger staring back beside her as the palpitating hope stopped and the sunk aorta darkened there were no feelings save the ones that I remember I can still taste blood on the roof of my mouth
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Apr 6, 2019
Apr 6, 2019 at 10:22 PM UTC
Haemal
I Our ****** dreams, all seedless in the light, Of light and love the tempers of the heart, Whack their boys' limbs, And, winding-footed in their shawl and sheet, Groom the dark brides, the widows of the night Fold in their arms. The shades of girls, all flavoured from their shrouds, When sunlight goes are sundered from the worm, The bones of men, the broken in their beds, By midnight pulleys that unhouse the tomb. II In this our age the gunman and his moll Two one-dimensional ghosts, love on a reel, Strange to our solid eye, And speak their midnight nothings as they swell; When cameras shut they hurry to their hole down in the yard of day. They dance between their arclamps and our skull, Impose their shots, showing the nights away; We watch the show of shadows kiss or **** Flavoured of celluloid give love the lie. III Which is the world? Of our two sleepings, which Shall fall awake when cures and their itch Raise up this red-eyed earth? Pack off the shapes of daylight and their starch, The sunny gentlemen, the Welshing rich, Or drive the night-geared forth. The photograph is married to the eye, Grafts on its bride one-sided skins of truth; The dream has ****** the sleeper of his faith That shrouded men might marrow as they fly. IV This is the world; the lying likeness of Our strips of stuff that tatter as we move Loving and being loth; The dream that kicks the buried from their sack And lets their trash be honoured as the quick. This is the world. Have faith. For we shall be a shouter like the **** Blowing the old dead back; our shots shall smack The image from the plates; And we shall be fit fellows for a life, And who remains shall flower as they love, Praise to our faring hearts.
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3.7k
Our ****** Dreams
I Our ****** dreams, all seedless in the light, Of light and love the tempers of the heart, Whack their boys' limbs, And, winding-footed in their shawl and sheet, Groom the dark brides, the widows of the night Fold in their arms. The shades of girls, all flavoured from their shrouds, When sunlight goes are sundered from the worm, The bones of men, the broken in their beds, By midnight pulleys that unhouse the tomb. II In this our age the gunman and his moll Two one-dimensional ghosts, love on a reel, Strange to our solid eye, And speak their midnight nothings as they swell; When cameras shut they hurry to their hole down in the yard of day. They dance between their arclamps and our skull, Impose their shots, showing the nights away; We watch the show of shadows kiss or **** Flavoured of celluloid give love the lie. III Which is the world? Of our two sleepings, which Shall fall awake when cures and their itch Raise up this red-eyed earth? Pack off the shapes of daylight and their starch, The sunny gentlemen, the Welshing rich, Or drive the night-geared forth. The photograph is married to the eye, Grafts on its bride one-sided skins of truth; The dream has ****** the sleeper of his faith That shrouded men might marrow as they fly. IV This is the world; the lying likeness of Our strips of stuff that tatter as we move Loving and being loth; The dream that kicks the buried from their sack And lets their trash be honoured as the quick. This is the world. Have faith. For we shall be a shouter like the **** Blowing the old dead back; our shots shall smack The image from the plates; And we shall be fit fellows for a life, And who remains shall flower as they love, Praise to our faring hearts.
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46
Old Cowboys, forts and shootouts Black for bad and White for good With a spinning canvas background And cactus cutouts made of wood The desert sits behind them Fifty yards away at most The heroes don't ride horses They sip drinks and sit and boast About their celluloid adventures singing songs all dressed in white While behind them in the background The stunt men do it right A canvas background rotates Through valleys, hills and streams While the hero rides his deck chair And the director yells and screams Central casting fills the tribes out With Italians, and made up stock While our hero stops an avalanche Of fake paper covered rocks Cardboard Cut out Cactus And heroes smiling in the sun Most have never seen a cowpoke Let alone shot off a gun But, it's magic when it's finished the dusters up there on the screen All the fakery and snake oil Are all hidden, never seen The white hats beat the black hats The hero sings and gets the girl And the background on the spindle Is still spinning, watch it whirl A celluloid adventure Cowboys no where close to what they were But..watch the next show for a nickel And don't forget your spurs!!!
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Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 9:22 PM UTC
Celluloid Cowboys
avenue sounds are never agreeable, ignore the drift, ignore the hum, ignore the suburban neophytes in the city lights (I never did care much for hipsters). ignore rapid eye movements, the flush red face, ignore the snapshots of you that adorn my semi-sleep state I stare at my ceiling and see the cobblestone summer streets you once graced, long ago in the eternal occident, I want to ignore but I’m so very boozed, in a blue lucid slumber::: eyes closed::: my head spins and sleep begins with the tidal delirium of dopamine drips, your legs, your hips, I’m drowning a bit, doused in a sanguine sweat inside a fantasy **** I’m dreaming of you**) Synaptic friction she is a pleasant fiction   flash/sparks segue a dormant memory , the two of us riding familiar highways::: she gazes at me with her usual emerald encased ocular torment, those limbal rings cast aspersions at the last vestiges of my will power, until, I’m done, done in by the divinity of her lips::: There is no end to (your) energy It even finds me here::: in my dystopian  dream (eternal) now an inescapable, **myopic curse (nocturnal)**::: the nightmare of not having you near Awake, I roll over to clutch for the pacifier of your comfort (violent midnight) I find only a fragrance, i flail, searching, when those flashbacks fall short isolated into the banality of bedsheets and pillows pleats (the retrograde nature of my reality, now readily apparent) cdh
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Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 12:28 AM UTC
Philadelphia Night (Europa Celluloid)
Doc, I've been trying to deal with these issues for quite sometime to no avail; A good friend of mine (you may know him, Elmer Fudd) recommended you. I fear I will never be able to eat, let alone catch this turbo inspired example of flightless foul; Stuck in this celluloid world vividly inspired by an Emmy award winning colorist. I am a proud animal from generations of fine breeding, born in the pristine coyote valley; I am not stupid, not a fool or buffoon, and so I thought contractually, not one to be laughed at. And I, always the bad guy, constantly daunted in pursuit by haphazard ACME products; Expensive, bulky, time consuming, they characteristically fail right before they almost work. Rocket powered skates, unfortunately, only allow me to kiss the cliff-side really really hard; Very heavy anvils serve no other purpose than to be dropped on my head repeatedly. The incredulous manipulations of the impossible by the so clever writers of this farce; From trains appearing out of nowhere to run me over, to fierce lightning storms in an instant. Laying there in the release of my own bowels as the uncontrollable result of 500 Megajoules of energy traveling through my body yet again. I am the twice electrified mass of dribbling spastic protoplasm Personified proverbially in that lightning does indeed strike twice in the same place! As the smoke arises from my chard hairy frame and I sweep up my ashes to reassemble later; I realize Doc, I'm losing my grasp on the reality of ever succeeding, I need your help! I'm still hungry; And still I have not caught that **** Road Runner, **** you Warner Brothers! -----ChawzzyScript
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Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013 at 1:13 AM UTC
Wile E. Coyote (On The Couch)
Doc, I've been trying to deal with these issues for quite sometime to no avail; A good friend of mine (you may know him, Elmer Fudd) recommended you. I fear I will never be able to eat, let alone catch this turbo inspired example of flightless foul; Stuck in this celluloid world vividly inspired by an Emmy award winning colorist. I am a proud animal from generations of fine breeding, born in the pristine coyote valley; I am not stupid, not a fool or buffoon, and so I thought contractually, not one to be laughed at. And I, always the bad guy, constantly daunted in pursuit by haphazard ACME products; Expensive, bulky, time consuming, they characteristically fail right before they almost work. Rocket powered skates, unfortunately, only allow me to kiss the cliff-side really really hard; Very heavy anvils serve no other purpose than to be dropped on my head repeatedly. The incredulous manipulations of the impossible by the so clever writers of this farce; From trains appearing out of nowhere to run me over, to fierce lightning storms in an instant. Laying there in the release of my own bowels as the uncontrollable result of 500 Megajoules of energy traveling through my body yet again. I am the twice electrified mass of dribbling spastic protoplasm Personified proverbially in that lightning does indeed strike twice in the same place! As the smoke arises from my chard hairy frame and I sweep up my ashes to reassemble later; I realize Doc, I'm losing my grasp on the reality of ever succeeding, I need your help! I'm still hungry; And still I have not caught that **** Road Runner, **** you Warner Brothers! -----ChawzzyScript
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22
Boy meets girl, Gives her a whirl, Log on, take selfie, Update fakebook, Thumbs up, look! Had breakfast, look! Update fakebook, Went to the gym, look! Update fakebook, Now we're gym junkies, Upload selfies, Update fakebook, Thumbs up, look! Now we're wed, Enough said, Update fakebook, Thumbs up, look! Shall I kiss the bride? Not fair, fat and wide! First, update fakebook, Thumbs up, look! Now we've got kids, Marriage on the skids, Oh, man, that's bad, Divorce selfies, too sad, Update your fakebook, Thumbs down, look! Our 21st Century, Celluloid selfies..........
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May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 3:27 PM UTC
21st Century.......
Celluloid cells of candid smile fun printed in race track, river-run stems, the 120 down to the 35mm fold it over to form the hem. You can be my New York that never sleeps or that Venice Beach with bright, chiselled high cheeks or the more probable lesbian lover I’ll never get to meet; meet properly for a drink.
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Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 5:00 PM UTC
CELLULOID CELLS
Mondays in Van Nuys: velvet morning, bee stings, and medicating angels wrapped in mesh, at the scene of a fugitive motel, swimming towards *** and misery. Nicotine lizard fresh from film school, and his molten young interceptors with corduroy legs, scouting for girls any way, shape, or form, pinpointing them in alphabetical order. Flashing red light means go: pretty Eve in the tub, lit from underneath, she sun shines, her back to the prehension from a survey of hands and power tools. No tan lines, the boundaries of this celluloid garden begin at her knees --a fleshprint, start the Van de Graaff and watch as she reels the far faded whispers of carnal quicksand. A smell of peroxide and sweat, her constant freezing and thawing totally crushed out, the dark don't hide it. Candy Bar --it's not her real name, but she smiles like she means it, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. Once again the week gets lost in repeat: a certain smile, a certain sadness, look on the bright side, this isn't happiness.
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Oct 10, 2022
Oct 10, 2022 at 11:35 AM UTC
The Pornographers
"This s.o.b. has got Tourette's. Who knows what he might say? We'd better Get him under before he rises. Sterilize something fast!" I'm awake for the time being. When sleep comes I shall play the perfect display of my bacillus. Reposing On the white table like a necrotic pieta. Off to my Left I can hear those touchstones spinning in fine sockets, Sterilizing my hands by binding my feet. Soon I will be A paragon of grunting celluloid, clutched at by Heated hearts to wrinkle and shear. I can already taste the cleanser. Rubber foam, steel clamp and tongue depressor. Excise the black portions with a serrated life, You might as well. Because it doesn't matter How much morphine sits in the delirium drip. I'm still alive: the crush and blink in Boris Karloff eyes. When I gather up my self in the morning. I will be instructed to take all Ten a day And check in regularly. Despite the cold, Despite the heat, the embryo has quite failed.
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Mar 1, 2010
Mar 1, 2010 at 10:34 AM UTC
Xenophilia and the Surgeon
THE DREAM CATCHER (A RED INDIAN LEGEND)          * By Raj Nandy* The continent of North America during those ancient times, Were inhabited by various Red Indian tribes. The Delawares, the Mohawks, the Choctaws, The Dacotahs, the Omahas, the Blackeet, The Camanches, the Ojibways and the Apaches! They inhabited the forest, the prairies, the marsh lands, The great lakes, the mountains and the fen-lands! They lived close to Nature and honored their Gods, With the spirit of Nature all thing were fraught! If we recall the story of "MacKenna’s Gold", The ‘Shaking Rock’ and ‘Canyon del Oro’, Of human greed, - breeding death, and sorrow! Which in celluloid has often been shown and told; Yet none could take away that Apache gold !! Today I narrate a legend of the ancient Chippawa tribe, About their "magical net" for a peaceful night! An old Medicine Man of this tribe, Wove a ''magical net" with fine gossamer strings, To catch the dreams as they float by! He hung this net above the bed up high, To filter the dreams as they float by, During those darkest hours of the night ! This wondrous net trapped all bad dreams, Letting the good ones pass through its netted seams! And as the bad dreams got entangled in the net, The good ones descended upon the sleeping bed! So should you come across this 'magical net', Never argue about its price, - Just buy the one for your bed size! Then hang the net high above your bed, For there is nothing to be afraid! Since dreams shall never ever cease, Have sweet dreams always, with a good night’s sleep!                         - by Raj Nandy
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Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 1:05 AM UTC
THE DREAM CATCHER !
THE DREAM CATCHER (A RED INDIAN LEGEND)          * By Raj Nandy* The continent of North America during those ancient times, Were inhabited by various Red Indian tribes. The Delawares, the Mohawks, the Choctaws, The Dacotahs, the Omahas, the Blackeet, The Camanches, the Ojibways and the Apaches! They inhabited the forest, the prairies, the marsh lands, The great lakes, the mountains and the fen-lands! They lived close to Nature and honored their Gods, With the spirit of Nature all thing were fraught! If we recall the story of "MacKenna’s Gold", The ‘Shaking Rock’ and ‘Canyon del Oro’, Of human greed, - breeding death, and sorrow! Which in celluloid has often been shown and told; Yet none could take away that Apache gold !! Today I narrate a legend of the ancient Chippawa tribe, About their "magical net" for a peaceful night! An old Medicine Man of this tribe, Wove a ''magical net" with fine gossamer strings, To catch the dreams as they float by! He hung this net above the bed up high, To filter the dreams as they float by, During those darkest hours of the night ! This wondrous net trapped all bad dreams, Letting the good ones pass through its netted seams! And as the bad dreams got entangled in the net, The good ones descended upon the sleeping bed! So should you come across this 'magical net', Never argue about its price, - Just buy the one for your bed size! Then hang the net high above your bed, For there is nothing to be afraid! Since dreams shall never ever cease, Have sweet dreams always, with a good night’s sleep!                         - by Raj Nandy
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42
Not the drip of freeway from Pittsburgh but a rough trundle on chalk roads as flaxen skies shade to molten celluloid and I can still see them flash in August fields like a crop of traffic lights they flare as hay-bale paparazzi or floaters in the humour and hang careless in seasonable decadence so I’ll pass from the frigid, processed air and join them in their closeness. No buzz but a minor hum coming from the moment’s luminosity and then they’re gone making good on thunder’s empty promise.
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May 15, 2013
May 15, 2013 at 7:11 PM UTC
Lightning Bugs
Lay with me, darling Within the New York summer And hand me softly, a Gershwin kiss Under celluloid sky. We will dance, you and I Beneath the bridges of central park And we will sense The Broadway skyline. Frames pass by unseen With imagination and ideal Burnt into their core, as The music of a thousand orchestras Start our fandango As we fall in love With the freedom of tomorrow.
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Dec 3, 2012
Dec 3, 2012 at 2:22 AM UTC
New York Summer
Today I straightened all of the hairs on my head whether they needed it or not. I like being organized. Ironing out the kinks in my leather jacket with a baseball bat. I try to cut the blues from the spinning record, flicked numbered matchsticks across vinyl to set the fleshed room on fire, don’t touch me, I’m a real live wire. Being on top of my **** is like handmaking beeswax candles, I twist & turn, carving wax in the air—There is always more to do, I always tried to cross t’s and sort the junk mail from the paychecks, accidentally dropping cigarettes into the piles of post. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched you lick postage stamps for the outgoing flood. The laundry gets done even though I’m too tired to pull my key out of the door. I am in control of my own destiny. I smoke Coca Cola & drink cigarettes for breakfast because I don’t roll out of bed on the right side of any given day, and yesterday I put my foot through the television because tap-dancing on the shards of the wood-paneled tube from dad’s first marriage sings gnashed-teeth harmonies with the microwave’s low groan at 3AM— I used to eat cold spaghetti in torn jeans and nothing else while you flipped through channels on basic cable to hear the collage painting the end of the world. You were always an empty can that year, you saved orange peels to fill with oil to burn— your name whispers itself into the grease hissings and I hear it over the skyline and I cannot seem to find a match to strike to light the last crumpled smoke in my pack— All I want to do is send you photographs with singed corners, photographs of your letters, attempts to burn away any sight of you, ways to cut&bind; the flint that ignites the only bonfire in my eye. And sometimes I wish I could just scream at you until the flowers crawl up the brick walls of your apartment; my kitchen smells concrete like celluloid ashes and if I snap my fingers to break broken promises and floss my teeth with violin strings I might not miss you anymore.
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Mar 22, 2013
Mar 22, 2013 at 8:56 PM UTC
A Controlled Burn
Today I straightened all of the hairs on my head whether they needed it or not. I like being organized. Ironing out the kinks in my leather jacket with a baseball bat. I try to cut the blues from the spinning record, flicked numbered matchsticks across vinyl to set the fleshed room on fire, don’t touch me, I’m a real live wire. Being on top of my **** is like handmaking beeswax candles, I twist & turn, carving wax in the air—There is always more to do, I always tried to cross t’s and sort the junk mail from the paychecks, accidentally dropping cigarettes into the piles of post. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched you lick postage stamps for the outgoing flood. The laundry gets done even though I’m too tired to pull my key out of the door. I am in control of my own destiny. I smoke Coca Cola & drink cigarettes for breakfast because I don’t roll out of bed on the right side of any given day, and yesterday I put my foot through the television because tap-dancing on the shards of the wood-paneled tube from dad’s first marriage sings gnashed-teeth harmonies with the microwave’s low groan at 3AM— I used to eat cold spaghetti in torn jeans and nothing else while you flipped through channels on basic cable to hear the collage painting the end of the world. You were always an empty can that year, you saved orange peels to fill with oil to burn— your name whispers itself into the grease hissings and I hear it over the skyline and I cannot seem to find a match to strike to light the last crumpled smoke in my pack— All I want to do is send you photographs with singed corners, photographs of your letters, attempts to burn away any sight of you, ways to cut&bind; the flint that ignites the only bonfire in my eye. And sometimes I wish I could just scream at you until the flowers crawl up the brick walls of your apartment; my kitchen smells concrete like celluloid ashes and if I snap my fingers to break broken promises and floss my teeth with violin strings I might not miss you anymore.
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45
The weathervane slept high above with a lolling head. Clouds were holidaying excessively in Spain. Sun was lost in a haze after chain smoking cooling towers. A lethargic wind, moseying low with cat-like whiskers, I hear it complain “I’m tired” in child-like whispers. My hands are sweat-sore with callouses And salty enough to summon the call of gulls in numbers; I find shade, imagining myself as a cartoon Huck Finn. When I put dry grass between cracked lips and think of dustbowls In a zoetrope of sun-stroke, I vanish through my buttonholes. This is now where one would rise, wake or come to. Nothing I recognise, else the world is enveloped in storms. I strain my sight, blink repeatedly to force myself awake, The angels are listening, I hear wheezing, see fingers in my dreams Gripping tightly to milk thistle stars, bursting at the seams. Amongst the angels, whispering too! Did the stars imprison you? Free-spirit like mother, but I slept our childhood through Sustained by knowledge gleaned from canteen floors— My eyes feel somehow sharp, heavy, like spears more than eyes; I thought I saw the weathervane spinning madly, unraveling the skies! Nobody talks about the weather. There is a good chance of wrought nerves. This is a time of stillness and dwelling on doorsteps, In doorways where death sits among us, resting his eyes, An end to the ration that was harmless reminiscence As memories go up in the heat like celluloid; Now the stars are a steely prison Heaven’s lustre is lost, missing. Through the angels I have seen that this is a time of living - Through our dreams I have seen that this is a time of living - Outside the confinement of the Holocene. —I have dreamt of drowning...often. I always seem to wake up out and breath and feel I can taste the salt in my mouth but fear does not play any part in these dreams.
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May 1, 2016
May 1, 2016 at 7:20 AM UTC
Don't Wake the Weathervane
The weathervane slept high above with a lolling head. Clouds were holidaying excessively in Spain. Sun was lost in a haze after chain smoking cooling towers. A lethargic wind, moseying low with cat-like whiskers, I hear it complain “I’m tired” in child-like whispers. My hands are sweat-sore with callouses And salty enough to summon the call of gulls in numbers; I find shade, imagining myself as a cartoon Huck Finn. When I put dry grass between cracked lips and think of dustbowls In a zoetrope of sun-stroke, I vanish through my buttonholes. This is now where one would rise, wake or come to. Nothing I recognise, else the world is enveloped in storms. I strain my sight, blink repeatedly to force myself awake, The angels are listening, I hear wheezing, see fingers in my dreams Gripping tightly to milk thistle stars, bursting at the seams. Amongst the angels, whispering too! Did the stars imprison you? Free-spirit like mother, but I slept our childhood through Sustained by knowledge gleaned from canteen floors— My eyes feel somehow sharp, heavy, like spears more than eyes; I thought I saw the weathervane spinning madly, unraveling the skies! Nobody talks about the weather. There is a good chance of wrought nerves. This is a time of stillness and dwelling on doorsteps, In doorways where death sits among us, resting his eyes, An end to the ration that was harmless reminiscence As memories go up in the heat like celluloid; Now the stars are a steely prison Heaven’s lustre is lost, missing. Through the angels I have seen that this is a time of living - Through our dreams I have seen that this is a time of living - Outside the confinement of the Holocene. —I have dreamt of drowning...often. I always seem to wake up out and breath and feel I can taste the salt in my mouth but fear does not play any part in these dreams.
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32
you can never under-estimate the humanity of one example, as you already exampled undermining the humanity of "you", or whatever choice of pronoun that befits your idea of superiority - as said Japan attacked, China retaliatory - Mongol kept apart - bereaving Scandinavia bereft due to the European ploy fancy; you can never under-estimate the humanity of one example, as you already exampled undermining the humanity of "you", or whatever choice of pronoun that benefits with your idea of superiority - as said Pearl Harbour: war against war rather than war against society - indeed modernity with the man in the high castle rather than i'm the king of the castle - whereby the softened consonants rather the hardened vowels - ð adjacent of j - verifiable ðe- or -dje, dje - or thus extreme English definite articulate of θη - i won't give you answers, forget it **** i don't have a lifetime or likened vein of thought - variations of f and some vowel, θ- e-i -φ - gobble up a blah... due to η we endow θ with a calibre of vowel necessary, fully... eta is like a missing diacritic on emicron, shortened, ah **** epsilon - one and the same... still involved, softening, duck-quack-and-feather cushioning, i admit it's regardless of being 90 years of age skipping rope and boa entanglement to myth in memory of a life actually lived - the stink of my great-grandmother's apartment the coal-set-piece of what could be a baking oven... the whole place was scented in ferns... i don't know why, ferns, it was just ferns... it wasn't Parisian perfumes, it, was, just, ferns... it was't the next trend of clothing, it was just fur, you watched your neighbour's television because you didn't have your own... ferns! ferns! ferns! the myth told to children about a golden fern leaf, the myth of Gutwin and the bee that stung my shin - it's so long ago, i wish it remained, all i have is America i'll never see, ever hear, ever touch, America is just an advert, it's nothing, all i have is America i'll never savour, ever feel, ever know, it's just abstract, all i'll get from America is Apache alcoholism as worth writing about rather than taking a selfie... and that's about it... otherwise i'm left with kardashian celluloid - globalisation really has made London a village and Abridge a capital.
0
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 5, 2016 at 10:57 PM UTC
ð / θη / ferns
you can never under-estimate the humanity of one example, as you already exampled undermining the humanity of "you", or whatever choice of pronoun that befits your idea of superiority - as said Japan attacked, China retaliatory - Mongol kept apart - bereaving Scandinavia bereft due to the European ploy fancy; you can never under-estimate the humanity of one example, as you already exampled undermining the humanity of "you", or whatever choice of pronoun that benefits with your idea of superiority - as said Pearl Harbour: war against war rather than war against society - indeed modernity with the man in the high castle rather than i'm the king of the castle - whereby the softened consonants rather the hardened vowels - ð adjacent of j - verifiable ðe- or -dje, dje - or thus extreme English definite articulate of θη - i won't give you answers, forget it **** i don't have a lifetime or likened vein of thought - variations of f and some vowel, θ- e-i -φ - gobble up a blah... due to η we endow θ with a calibre of vowel necessary, fully... eta is like a missing diacritic on emicron, shortened, ah **** epsilon - one and the same... still involved, softening, duck-quack-and-feather cushioning, i admit it's regardless of being 90 years of age skipping rope and boa entanglement to myth in memory of a life actually lived - the stink of my great-grandmother's apartment the coal-set-piece of what could be a baking oven... the whole place was scented in ferns... i don't know why, ferns, it was just ferns... it wasn't Parisian perfumes, it, was, just, ferns... it was't the next trend of clothing, it was just fur, you watched your neighbour's television because you didn't have your own... ferns! ferns! ferns! the myth told to children about a golden fern leaf, the myth of Gutwin and the bee that stung my shin - it's so long ago, i wish it remained, all i have is America i'll never see, ever hear, ever touch, America is just an advert, it's nothing, all i have is America i'll never savour, ever feel, ever know, it's just abstract, all i'll get from America is Apache alcoholism as worth writing about rather than taking a selfie... and that's about it... otherwise i'm left with kardashian celluloid - globalisation really has made London a village and Abridge a capital.
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50
Your beauty lies between sheets of dream, On your eyelids have fallen the rough tears of stars, There they have taken root like a magnificent oak. With Every glance I give to you A leaf falls into my palm; They are chips of ivory and fire, They are cut from the edges of glorious desire, They melt upon my tongue like snowflakes. Soft, soft, I raise my shaking hand to the memory of you Long, long I dream of our afternoons Solid and perfect. And the image of your eyes The colour, a Van Gogh blue, Stolen from that starry night with a transfer of wine, sets my heart ablaze. My curled lips have brushed the beauty of your celluloid shape, The wind brought form to elegance as it caressed your hair When the tide brought rhythm to your kiss. Tonight's moon is a slipper where I will rest your heart, There I will wrap it in silk and water it with silver streams Until your beauty breaks through the starlit boundaries, And as it grows into a magnificent oak, I shall sit beneath the shade of its bows With my palms anticipating the fall of a leaf.
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Aug 24, 2013
Aug 24, 2013 at 2:59 PM UTC
Your beauty lies between sheets of dream
I wanted to write you something that said something and I looked at your hands like the losers of a street fight beaten until they are no longer hands and thought of nothing . . . well . . . nothing that would mean something anything to you and I looked at your mouth that rolled like waves on a stormy day in a movie a celluloid memory that is blind to me hanging like a silver ghost tethered to the wall by the wrong kind of light and it rolled and pitched and yawed until it was no longer a mouth and I thought of nothing . . . well . . . nothing that would mean something anything to you and I looked into your mirror that was a boomerang a u-turn a paddle ball in the hand of an obsessive-compulsive mute keeping the beat like Belinda Carlisle like Jane Wiedlin and it came back to me again again it came back to me it came back again to me and I thought of nothing . . . except . . . anything that would mean something anything to me And I wanted to write you something
0
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 2:10 AM UTC
What I Wanted . . . .
Fragile flickering celluloid reels Behind the light of the projector A single beam of changing colors Displayed on the silver screen ahead. Fixtures dim and black the room Filled an audience anxious and waiting, Waiting to see what’s to be seen. I love the look of film! In its variety of size and color 35mm and 70 Digital and Film Black and white to Technicolor Three dimensions or two. The history of an art form Forming before your eyes Seen here are the scenes of time From anywhere that’s been seen A dynamic show of lives lived and lost Brought in pieces pieced together By those much like us Unfolding a world survived By war and a way of life lost Fallen years ago Survived by the look of cellulloid A world encompassed in film; Where time is never lost And life is always found. :)
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Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 11:00 PM UTC
The Look of Film
Slow, you breathe. Barrel-chested shelter. Shelterer, from weathers and fictions seen only for a moment. They flutter under the lids, furled and reeled by your celluloid-spun mind. If only I were there. I do not want to be cold. (I am trying.) Just to warn you, I’m a bit of a hoarder. But I’ll keep the edit room floor clean. I am ready to say it. (And I am not ready.) You mumble these dreams. I promise I’ll guard each like my own. Every word you will ever almost say. Your orphans, your nothings. Your ”please understand”s. And the “never mind”s. They sigh heavy in your greasy paper lungs. Babe, even your un-popped kernels are gold. If only you knew. I lose sleep over that kind of garbage. I remember which closet. Which shoebox it’s in. I am ready to say it… You want a wider-angle lens for your camera. A few more popcorn munchers at the alter. I want to know just how cold it gets in your room at night. To rustle in drifts of your lightly salted dream fluff. I want to measure winter’s gradient from the bed’s edge to yours. If only I were there. I do not want to be cold. (I am trying.) I am ready to say it. (And I am not ready.)
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Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 4:13 PM UTC
The Filmmaker Asleep (I love you).
In deepening dream a dark moon song Careening oration  to the reeling inside of flickering film, burning fast celluloid An internal tribute to a time now past Adrift at dawn  the dervish swoops its whirling and whining an awesome spectre enraged she raps her raw knuckles Pushing apart deepest self Seeing in sleep the shadow of my daylight That blinds me habitually; subliminally she Speaks the script to a censored play I’ve never seen.
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Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 11:45 AM UTC
Half asleep
My lens is myopic as the lunar lights reveal a replete and sallow stillness I close my eyes... stuck on her Our slow motion Zapruder film flesh hostilities play out They Lurch further toward me from the worst part of my mind This is an ante-meridium rerun wrought familiar Those slow motion frames serve as a reminder and I tell myself “not again” It’s always destroy, withdraw, withdrawal, return No thrill, no endgame, but we (i) play it out just the same Renewed, resolvent, arisen, (my) stake is wooden, (she is) wet, crimson lipped and collapsing Rest coldly now, unmoved upon a moribund midnight heart These Thoughts of her feed on me in the night. Images that prowl, project and play like celluloid wanting her I toss and turn, till, I lay, languishing, and losing lifeblood lost and dreading daybreak a living dead type of drained Forlorn Feelings brought back from damnation soulless and predatory This vampire lust won’t die. But still I doubt Nosferatu had an *** like her’s
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Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018 at 1:45 AM UTC
Vampire Lust