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"butt" poems
Thank you ~ for a life not to trade blessings, in spades tight spaces behind laundry doors packed closets and open drawers gator tails, tarnished brass cracks in kitchen sliding glass wet towels, withering plants foundation filled with carpenter ants buckets piled with shoes and tags village clothes and saddlebags peeling paint and broken walls ****** seats in bathroom stalls clogged pantry frigid rooms table scribe and carbon fumes comfort capsules empty tanks broken limbs from children’s pranks **** finger double tongue long goodbyes and sidewalk dung cluster flies chavie’ clique accompanying the hypocrite cracked back and hidden smiles chalk on board with mr miles atomic wedgies closing doors wrotten eggs and open sores jaw jack nasty folk dinner calls for pig in poke penny pinchers double dip yellow mouth and silver tip brown nosers thick red tape paper cuts and pimple nape gallivants so out of norm the joy of life… in basic form
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Jan 14, 2017
Jan 14, 2017 at 2:03 PM UTC
cultivation of gratitude
***** ***** I **** ***** ***** get ****** when I **** ***** No ifs, ands, and/or buts! I **** ***** I **** ***** Nice girls are nice, but no good for nut-sucking. They'll need a serene night to green-light a butt-fucking, but that'll be easy with ****** ol' slut-fucking! Boo to the nice girls! Praise be to slut-fucking! I have a list. A list? Yes, a list of all the ***** I've missed. I've never ****** or ****** these ***** and thus my nuts are ******* ****** So when I **** the lucky **** my nut removes her from the list--- another dumb cumbucket struck from my nut-sucking, **** it, **** slut-fucking bucket list. ***** can be white, brown, pink, or almond. They can be skinny with big **** or skinny with small ones. ***** can be perky, preppy, or posh, with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash. But other ***** are pretty and funny and smart. They can lift your thoughts from your **** to your heart. They can talk about science, music, or art. They can put you together or pull you apart. But don't trust these ***** Don't! Don't you dare! They'll force you to trust them and love them and care. And then they'll be gone and then you'll be aware of that hole in your heart that that dumb **** left there.
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Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 9:54 AM UTC
I F--k S--ts
YOU hurt me in ways like no one else before, cutting me deep- right down to the core. YOU beat me up without lifting a hand, reminding me exactly where I stand. YOU love to **** with me building my hopes- making me the **** of all of your jokes. YOU shove your money and life in my face, finding it funny that my life's a disgrace. YOU give me your love just to rip it away- an unworthy pawn in the game you play. YOU think that I'm ugly I'm well aware, to all the others I just don't compare. YOU treat me like I'm a worthless **** barely good enough for you to **** YOU boldly look me straight in the eyes and feed me so many bull **** lies. But please don't stop, I love it this way! Choking on every cruel word you say.... For I am too spineless to ever stand tall, and I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all.
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Mar 6, 2017
Mar 6, 2017 at 9:42 AM UTC
YOU
Three Minute Warning A messenger delivers A three minute warning As I lay in bed at 10:30 am (Resting in preparation for, not from, our oops, early morning hike). Breakfast will be ready in 3, Get your **** in gear or else It will be cold, I'll be mad, And you will answer to a Higher Authority. No problem cause I already know All I need is two. Splash water on my face Now I'm presentable enough to the human race, current company probably won't be happy, But I ain't telling her, are you? Shave! You crazed? It is a three day weekend, Every day a July Fourth, Celebrating freedom from the European tyranny, Of shaving smooth  every day! Splash water on my head, count with me, Five brush strokes as you can plainly see Is a classic case of overcompensating In my geling n' hair stylin' Brush my teeth, well, I hope 2 full minutes of rinsing with  CVS Green stuff, mouthwash, will have to suffice. Blast my deodorant both sides, Long and strong, wearin' now My bold blue *** husk of musk, Cause I am a very considerate fellow Who happens to really have stunk. Clean T- shirt and shorts, Yes, clean underwear too, Leaves me a whole minute to write this scribble. My flip flop noises coming down the hallway, Are the butler announcing our joint arrival, Me and my poem. Lest you think this is paean to men Another grand male boast, Be advised this ditty be writty By a man who, while no longer gritty, Just put jelly on his scrambled eggs And ketchup on his toast! Mmmmmmm there might be a poem Lurking in that too...
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May 27, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 11:50 AM UTC
Three Minute Warning (A True Story)
Three Minute Warning A messenger delivers A three minute warning As I lay in bed at 10:30 am (Resting in preparation for, not from, our oops, early morning hike). Breakfast will be ready in 3, Get your **** in gear or else It will be cold, I'll be mad, And you will answer to a Higher Authority. No problem cause I already know All I need is two. Splash water on my face Now I'm presentable enough to the human race, current company probably won't be happy, But I ain't telling her, are you? Shave! You crazed? It is a three day weekend, Every day a July Fourth, Celebrating freedom from the European tyranny, Of shaving smooth  every day! Splash water on my head, count with me, Five brush strokes as you can plainly see Is a classic case of overcompensating In my geling n' hair stylin' Brush my teeth, well, I hope 2 full minutes of rinsing with  CVS Green stuff, mouthwash, will have to suffice. Blast my deodorant both sides, Long and strong, wearin' now My bold blue *** husk of musk, Cause I am a very considerate fellow Who happens to really have stunk. Clean T- shirt and shorts, Yes, clean underwear too, Leaves me a whole minute to write this scribble. My flip flop noises coming down the hallway, Are the butler announcing our joint arrival, Me and my poem. Lest you think this is paean to men Another grand male boast, Be advised this ditty be writty By a man who, while no longer gritty, Just put jelly on his scrambled eggs And ketchup on his toast! Mmmmmmm there might be a poem Lurking in that too...
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49
the cockroach crouched against the tile while I was ******* and as I turned my head he hauled his **** into a crack. I got the can and sprayed and sprayed and sprayed and finally the roach came out and gave me a very ***** look. then he fell down into the bathtub and I watched him dying with a subtle pleasure because I paid rent and he didn't. I picked him up with some greenblue toilet paper and flushed him away. that's all there was to that, except around Hollywood and Western we have to keep doing it. they say some day that tribe is going to inherit the earth but we're going to make them wait a few months.
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29k
cockroach
I was only 9 years old. I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love” I say, “Shrek is life." My dad hears me and calls me a ****** I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek. I called him a **** He hits me and sends me to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm... It's Shrek! I was so happy. He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp." He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my *** cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my ******** It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my **** tearing and eyes watering. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my **** with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says, "It's all ogre now." Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
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Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 6:41 PM UTC
shrek is love, shrek is life
That dress will be fit for you, when you're undress. **** -- in my eyes, you are already undressed. in my mind, my hands wrapped around you, as I touch and caress. hanging on your curves, loving your tenderness. The weight of my body, smothering you into the mattress. Goosebumps appearing on your neck, kiss and tease with my teeth, finding your spot, is my target. The taste of your hot breathe, our tongues twist and turn, speaking a language that is our secret. warm whispers,  licking your ears wet soaking your wetness. I want your body, more than I want your *** I need to take your body, in ways you will never forget. I want to please your body, so if you leave, you will regret.
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Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 10:59 PM UTC
Touch and Caress
To **** or not to **** that’s the ******* question: Whether 'tis nobler in the bowels to suffer The twists and turns of outrageous rumblings Or to take action against a bellyful of gas, And by farting pump one out? To strain, to bloat No more; and by a mighty outburst we’ll end The gut’s ache, and the thousand natural stenches That the **** is heir to, 'tis a resolution Right devoutly to be wish'd. To **** to **** But perchance to **** there's the ******* problem; For in that mighty **** of doom what turds may come, When we have let the little beauty out from mortal tail, Must give us pause; there's the danger That makes calamity of the farter’s life; For who would bear the sneers and mocks of men, The neighbour’s shock, the lover’s curling lip, The pangs of horrid stench, the ******* o’erflowing, The leaking **** orifice, and the drips, Impatient strainings that the tragic farter makes, When he himself might sweet easance make With a careful prodding finger? Who would a ******** wear, Grunting and sweating with noisome convulsions, But that the dread of solids after air-release, The undiscover'd oozings, from whose delivery No toilet visitor recovers, puzzles the will, And makes us bear the bellyache we have Than fly to others we know not of? Thus indigestion does make cowards of us all; And then the native heave of constipation Is sicklied o'er with the pale fear of defecation; And enterprises of both ******* and crapping With this regard, their currents turn awry, And lose the name of exciting toilet action.
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Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 2:25 PM UTC
Hamlet's Toilet Problems
To **** or not to **** that’s the ******* question: Whether 'tis nobler in the bowels to suffer The twists and turns of outrageous rumblings Or to take action against a bellyful of gas, And by farting pump one out? To strain, to bloat No more; and by a mighty outburst we’ll end The gut’s ache, and the thousand natural stenches That the **** is heir to, 'tis a resolution Right devoutly to be wish'd. To **** to **** But perchance to **** there's the ******* problem; For in that mighty **** of doom what turds may come, When we have let the little beauty out from mortal tail, Must give us pause; there's the danger That makes calamity of the farter’s life; For who would bear the sneers and mocks of men, The neighbour’s shock, the lover’s curling lip, The pangs of horrid stench, the ******* o’erflowing, The leaking **** orifice, and the drips, Impatient strainings that the tragic farter makes, When he himself might sweet easance make With a careful prodding finger? Who would a ******** wear, Grunting and sweating with noisome convulsions, But that the dread of solids after air-release, The undiscover'd oozings, from whose delivery No toilet visitor recovers, puzzles the will, And makes us bear the bellyache we have Than fly to others we know not of? Thus indigestion does make cowards of us all; And then the native heave of constipation Is sicklied o'er with the pale fear of defecation; And enterprises of both ******* and crapping With this regard, their currents turn awry, And lose the name of exciting toilet action.
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33
Drowning in a cesspool of wishes Destiny swims no farther than fishes. Diligence seduces the tide, She elopes, makes her a bride. The singing bird sings, The humming bee stings. Inactivity kills the sweet dreamer but Also exalts not the lazy **** Puff your blunt, roll up your sleeves Kiss your tools, empty your sheaths Pray your hands grind the right mill, Your hustle will have you chill.
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Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 6:21 PM UTC
HUSTLE
Dope, money, and hoes [x9] [Verse 1: Da$h] Ain't write it, thought of this when I was drunk driving Like I had a license, been swerving through the intersect Just to make the ******* wet, breakfast: yac and cigarettes Feds about the only threat, spit nasty like my throat is strep She working at the pyramid, shake her **** for some bucks from Tut Pharaoh to the marrow, Cleopatra roll my dutch Dour blunts they double stuffed, got a ***** stupid chopped Used to squad these faggots' wives, the ******* that I used to pop Wear the **** I used to cop, respect your elders lil ***** Ain't even of age to drink, I get your ** to buy me liquor 'Linquent **** I live for it, they tryin but might die for it These drugs got my brain, money got my mind finding fun in crime ******* love my rhymes, to be honest I love their mouth at campuses Looking for talents just like I'm a college scout Ask her what she shout, I’m ashin' her on the ******* couch [Verse 2: Da$h] Dope, money, and hoes, getting dope money from shows She sniff her coke then she blow, **** it, I don’t judge it though Sugar free, no love for sure, just put 'em on Sepulveda Benefits and bank rolls, all a ***** really want from her And when she bring it back, call my brother hit the trap Invested in a couple packs, will probably see a couple stacks from what he talkin Money hulking like Bruce Banner Panarama day dreaming, While she downin' my ***** on camera Life's in action, piping, smashing whatever you call it Smoke a 'Port and I'm off but they ******* think I lost it And my dog facing blunts while I feed my pups bath salts Infiltrate my castle, take your face like it's a mask boss Pass raw flesh and bone, money long like small intestines Homes I'm taking breakfast, long as getting checks involved H´z ***** Cause if you ain't know, AraabMuzik
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Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 12:16 PM UTC
Dope, Money, and Hoes
Dope, money, and hoes [x9] [Verse 1: Da$h] Ain't write it, thought of this when I was drunk driving Like I had a license, been swerving through the intersect Just to make the ******* wet, breakfast: yac and cigarettes Feds about the only threat, spit nasty like my throat is strep She working at the pyramid, shake her **** for some bucks from Tut Pharaoh to the marrow, Cleopatra roll my dutch Dour blunts they double stuffed, got a ***** stupid chopped Used to squad these faggots' wives, the ******* that I used to pop Wear the **** I used to cop, respect your elders lil ***** Ain't even of age to drink, I get your ** to buy me liquor 'Linquent **** I live for it, they tryin but might die for it These drugs got my brain, money got my mind finding fun in crime ******* love my rhymes, to be honest I love their mouth at campuses Looking for talents just like I'm a college scout Ask her what she shout, I’m ashin' her on the ******* couch [Verse 2: Da$h] Dope, money, and hoes, getting dope money from shows She sniff her coke then she blow, **** it, I don’t judge it though Sugar free, no love for sure, just put 'em on Sepulveda Benefits and bank rolls, all a ***** really want from her And when she bring it back, call my brother hit the trap Invested in a couple packs, will probably see a couple stacks from what he talkin Money hulking like Bruce Banner Panarama day dreaming, While she downin' my ***** on camera Life's in action, piping, smashing whatever you call it Smoke a 'Port and I'm off but they ******* think I lost it And my dog facing blunts while I feed my pups bath salts Infiltrate my castle, take your face like it's a mask boss Pass raw flesh and bone, money long like small intestines Homes I'm taking breakfast, long as getting checks involved H´z ***** Cause if you ain't know, AraabMuzik
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33
the world needs a lesson in self esteem we can start by re-examining exactly what each part of that term means self (hyphen): "to, with, toward, for, on, in oneself" esteem: "favorable opinion or judgement; respect or regard" self esteem: to hold a favorable opinion or judgement, respect or regard, to, with, toward, for, on, or in oneself the world needs this lesson because our children do not know what this term means because the reason they do not know is because their parents did not know because the reason their parents did not know is because every generation before them passed along a belief that you had to fit into every box, had to blend in to every crowd, had to meet every bullet point on the checklist in order to be considered a person of worth because the great secret that they never told is that people were not made to fit into boxes, or be marked on a checklist because my mother married a man who did not deserve her because she thought that she wouldn't be able to do any better because that man looked at his beautiful new stepdaughter and told her she was worthless, and that her mother knew it too because that girl was cursed with the hips and the **** and the waist of her great grandmother and when she went to school with her stepfather's words in her head a boy in her second grade class said the same **** things, and worse because i was that girl and i was never the girl who got to walk behind me in the hallways and laugh at the way that my shirt was too tight, and my thighs were too big, and laugh even harder when i cried because my best friend in high school was always "the hot one" and because i cried myself to sleep every time one of our guy friends talked to me about how much he wanted to **** her because i craved objectification before i'd even finished ninth grade because i wished that i could sink my hands into my own flesh and rip pieces away and be left with something "beautiful" because i looked in the mirror every day of my life and pointed out every small detail of what was wrong with my reflection because i hoped that would help me pretend it didn't hurt when other people pointed out the imperfections because even after satisfying girlfriend boyfriend girlfriend boyfriend, i still did not feel good about my own body because it took finding the woman that i want to spend the rest of my life with to make me want to turn the lights on when we **** because she is the most beautiful woman that i have ever seen but before me, she'd always wanted to leave the lights off too because we are grateful to each other for the confidence we have gained and because we both wish we hadn't needed the other to find something that should have been found within ourselves the world needs a lesson in self-esteem and i know this because i had to write this poem
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May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 7:19 PM UTC
The World Needs a Lesson in Self-Esteem
the world needs a lesson in self esteem we can start by re-examining exactly what each part of that term means self (hyphen): "to, with, toward, for, on, in oneself" esteem: "favorable opinion or judgement; respect or regard" self esteem: to hold a favorable opinion or judgement, respect or regard, to, with, toward, for, on, or in oneself the world needs this lesson because our children do not know what this term means because the reason they do not know is because their parents did not know because the reason their parents did not know is because every generation before them passed along a belief that you had to fit into every box, had to blend in to every crowd, had to meet every bullet point on the checklist in order to be considered a person of worth because the great secret that they never told is that people were not made to fit into boxes, or be marked on a checklist because my mother married a man who did not deserve her because she thought that she wouldn't be able to do any better because that man looked at his beautiful new stepdaughter and told her she was worthless, and that her mother knew it too because that girl was cursed with the hips and the **** and the waist of her great grandmother and when she went to school with her stepfather's words in her head a boy in her second grade class said the same **** things, and worse because i was that girl and i was never the girl who got to walk behind me in the hallways and laugh at the way that my shirt was too tight, and my thighs were too big, and laugh even harder when i cried because my best friend in high school was always "the hot one" and because i cried myself to sleep every time one of our guy friends talked to me about how much he wanted to **** her because i craved objectification before i'd even finished ninth grade because i wished that i could sink my hands into my own flesh and rip pieces away and be left with something "beautiful" because i looked in the mirror every day of my life and pointed out every small detail of what was wrong with my reflection because i hoped that would help me pretend it didn't hurt when other people pointed out the imperfections because even after satisfying girlfriend boyfriend girlfriend boyfriend, i still did not feel good about my own body because it took finding the woman that i want to spend the rest of my life with to make me want to turn the lights on when we **** because she is the most beautiful woman that i have ever seen but before me, she'd always wanted to leave the lights off too because we are grateful to each other for the confidence we have gained and because we both wish we hadn't needed the other to find something that should have been found within ourselves the world needs a lesson in self-esteem and i know this because i had to write this poem
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36
To the tune of Five For Fighting's "100 Years to Live" From "Frogs For Fighting" Kermit Sings: I'm just a simple green Muppet, Good old friends with Scooter and Fuzzy, And I'm small and skinny, A quiet frog that's on the roam. Animal's clearing out the whole fridge, There's a Muppet chef inside the kitchen, Making gibberish sounds, Boiling a goose or baking rolls. Piggy I'm alright with you, No other Muppet pig will do, MRS. PIGGY-there's never a wish better than this, When you've got a hundred Muppet Tears TO GIVE... I'm searching stars at the moment, Still the frog-I'm just in love with a pig, Dream of a connection, A constellation for a sign, Count goes "AH AH AH" when counting, Cookie Monster's nomming on the cookies, Snuffleupagus sounds like he just might have a cold... But Piggy I'm alright with you, You've got much might-no one can kick **** quite like you... But piggy I'm OK with you, MRS. PIGGY-there's never a wish better than this, When you've got a hundred Muppet Tears TO GIVE... Through a small Muppet's eyes Can tell you no lies, Bunson's Lab-a surprise, Madness, havoc explode, Beaker's running to hide, We're moving on... I'm feeling light at the moment, Small as can be-the sky-all I view, And I'm just reeling, High up in the clouds-a message in blue,   ...Mrs. Piggy I'm alright with you, You're black belt in Karate and Kung Fu, Super Grover's on his way, Every Muppet has their dog day... Wooohooo-oohoohoo Wooohooo-oohoohoo Wooohooo-oohoohoo-oohoohoo Piggy I'm alright with you, There's no other Muppet pig like you, MRS. PIGGY, there's never a wish-better than this... When you've got a hundred Muppet Tears TO GIVE...
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Feb 26, 2019
Feb 26, 2019 at 10:22 PM UTC
100 Muppet Tears
To the tune of Five For Fighting's "100 Years to Live" From "Frogs For Fighting" Kermit Sings: I'm just a simple green Muppet, Good old friends with Scooter and Fuzzy, And I'm small and skinny, A quiet frog that's on the roam. Animal's clearing out the whole fridge, There's a Muppet chef inside the kitchen, Making gibberish sounds, Boiling a goose or baking rolls. Piggy I'm alright with you, No other Muppet pig will do, MRS. PIGGY-there's never a wish better than this, When you've got a hundred Muppet Tears TO GIVE... I'm searching stars at the moment, Still the frog-I'm just in love with a pig, Dream of a connection, A constellation for a sign, Count goes "AH AH AH" when counting, Cookie Monster's nomming on the cookies, Snuffleupagus sounds like he just might have a cold... But Piggy I'm alright with you, You've got much might-no one can kick **** quite like you... But piggy I'm OK with you, MRS. PIGGY-there's never a wish better than this, When you've got a hundred Muppet Tears TO GIVE... Through a small Muppet's eyes Can tell you no lies, Bunson's Lab-a surprise, Madness, havoc explode, Beaker's running to hide, We're moving on... I'm feeling light at the moment, Small as can be-the sky-all I view, And I'm just reeling, High up in the clouds-a message in blue,   ...Mrs. Piggy I'm alright with you, You're black belt in Karate and Kung Fu, Super Grover's on his way, Every Muppet has their dog day... Wooohooo-oohoohoo Wooohooo-oohoohoo Wooohooo-oohoohoo-oohoohoo Piggy I'm alright with you, There's no other Muppet pig like you, MRS. PIGGY, there's never a wish-better than this... When you've got a hundred Muppet Tears TO GIVE...
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Cné In my most desperate need seek out a bush by a tree rewarded with a rash on my rear end relieving, with a squat, by poison ivy No thank you, I will take a chance in hopes of saving my *** and hold it until I just can't and avoiding a nasty rash even if it means .... I will possibly *** my pants Temporal Fugue *** the least of your worries as your bladder will expand making you make decisions not all that good, or planned So make your place and keep your wits bear, what you can stand drop your drawers and hold your **** and *** as god, demands
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May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 1:18 AM UTC
Ahhhhhhh, in the woods ... **** OUCH (Collabration with Temporal Fugue)
White man, right man Seriously uptight man Black man, whack man, Cutting him no slack man. Red man, dead man Never be the headman. Brown man, down man. Treat him like a clown man. Stereotypes, stereotypes! Notice how it rhymes with hype? The habit of the ******** A bitter fruit that’s always ripe. Poor man, for sure man, Can’t afford a ***** man. Waiting on the shore man, Sweeping out the store man. Broke man, stroke man Too poor to smoke man. Struggle under yoke man. **** of every joke man. Stereotypes, stereotypes! Notice how it rhymes with hype? The habit of the ******** A bitter fruit that’s always ripe. Fey man, gay man Nothing more to say man. Please just go away man. No equal rights today man. Liberal man or little man Nothing but a middle man. Playing second fiddle man. Never solve the riddle man. Stereotypes, stereotypes! Notice how it rhymes with hype? The habit of the ******** A bitter fruit that’s always ripe.
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Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 4:04 PM UTC
STEREOTYPING POOL
When taking your pet to the vet There's one thing you mustn't forget: If your vet's a queer, Keep guard on your rear (Or a ******** would be a good bet).
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Jun 12, 2015
Jun 12, 2015 at 11:58 AM UTC
A Gay Veterinarian Limerick
Honesty the lost art/   Honesty is rare it should cost a lot/   It would be sublime if We could find it/   Honestly, honesty is the best policy/ We should treasure the thought cherished engulfed/   combined with Loyalty   till death do us part/ I yurn The lies tiring   like ones sleepy lay down Suffocating to a corpse/   Thought is boss employ by it   We're all guilty I guess/ Liar liar in court   A sentient being-ness/ Troth be told   I can't believe in this/ Question,   Am I the only one seeing this?/ Or only me blind and ain't            Seeing ****   I try and **** it out its epidemic, Chronic/ The remedy Poetry Hop    Visual Sonnets/ **** naked in   My correspondence/ Articulating articles   Waiting for responses/ Is it a defense mechanism   Of the conscious/ Honesty? Honestly/   Seems like everyone's Not doing it so its gotta BE/   Non honesty The ever lasting Prophecy/   And were full filling it The good succumbs   To the villainous/ My willingness/   To compromise my will I guess/   You could interpret as weak/ Most realize the Inside scoop   Yet everyone tells lies non interested in truth/   Me, a victim and a suspect An on going cycle yet/   I ask what's next/ as if I didn't know    Where the L lies underlying Facts can't grow/   HonestLy, we all lose an L to Honesty!
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Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 1:44 AM UTC
Honesty, Honestly?
In these streets on the hunt for a chocolate bunny with a big **** A brown cotton tail who'll keep her mouth closed and won't tell Sssshhhh be very, very, quiet I'm hunting chocolate bunnies throughout the urban jungle I'm hunting chocolate bunnies. Written by Keith Edward Baucum
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Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 12:32 PM UTC
Chocolate Bunnies
My **** follows me everywhere! Wiggle wiggle, poke poke, jiggle jiggle. At the fridge in night I've a friend by my side. By my backside. On, my backside. Stuck with humidity to the toilet seat on a rainy day, that's right! The bathroom exists, and on a toilet do I sit. At least four or five times daily. Stuck to chair, playing with hair with one hand and a controller in the other. Pumping up and down and in circles as I jump squat. Jump squat! To share if you dare put your palm down there to squeeze. Grab slap, wibble wibble.
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Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 2:07 AM UTC
My ****
oh honey **** pen and ink **** star warrior pretty little manga girl twinkle wisp with kung fu throwing stars and triple steel samurai sword that tear through others made of pink taffy and cherry juice fizz blood moving like lightening a flying gladiator with dripping sweet rice and tapioca milk shake ******* oh you would taste so good to drink out of a swirling sherbet punch bowl with big blow job star goldfish and hungry pink ***** lips octopus drooling sit on your face suckers oh, fighter of one-legged midgets the best part after a fresh **** victory **** to go down on them their loli pop ***** butter ***** beautiful springing through the top of your skull cause you can't get enough oh wow happy hello kitty ***** plump plops viscous before the coup de grâce as she twirls their chewing gum gizzards with her little swizzle tongue goo ga licious before placing what's left of their hose like glistening entrails around her throat like a pearl necklace only to get strangled with it by double **** UFO boy solar ******* hero of the universe so hard she spurts pineapple juice and *** donuts out of pucker pie **** **** banged cross eyed like little girl manga never felt so good addicted to cruel whipped with a hella wet noodle yes no yes no yes no yes pleazzz her big blue marble glass eyes binocular kaleidoscopes spring out on the floor and roll around turning into all seeing anti-gravity magnetized silver pin stripped spaceships peopled by evil omni ****** **** ***** screaming through eternity in search of cosmic tushi sushi ogling wiggling ballerina butts bubble gum for the eyeballs
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Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 3:36 PM UTC
**** MANGA POETRY
oh honey **** pen and ink **** star warrior pretty little manga girl twinkle wisp with kung fu throwing stars and triple steel samurai sword that tear through others made of pink taffy and cherry juice fizz blood moving like lightening a flying gladiator with dripping sweet rice and tapioca milk shake ******* oh you would taste so good to drink out of a swirling sherbet punch bowl with big blow job star goldfish and hungry pink ***** lips octopus drooling sit on your face suckers oh, fighter of one-legged midgets the best part after a fresh **** victory **** to go down on them their loli pop ***** butter ***** beautiful springing through the top of your skull cause you can't get enough oh wow happy hello kitty ***** plump plops viscous before the coup de grâce as she twirls their chewing gum gizzards with her little swizzle tongue goo ga licious before placing what's left of their hose like glistening entrails around her throat like a pearl necklace only to get strangled with it by double **** UFO boy solar ******* hero of the universe so hard she spurts pineapple juice and *** donuts out of pucker pie **** **** banged cross eyed like little girl manga never felt so good addicted to cruel whipped with a hella wet noodle yes no yes no yes no yes pleazzz her big blue marble glass eyes binocular kaleidoscopes spring out on the floor and roll around turning into all seeing anti-gravity magnetized silver pin stripped spaceships peopled by evil omni ****** **** ***** screaming through eternity in search of cosmic tushi sushi ogling wiggling ballerina butts bubble gum for the eyeballs
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65
Do you need a new **** Will yours just not do? Well honey I've got the store for you! A gallery for butts Come one, come all! There's all kinds of butts Both big and small We've got butts that are big Butts that are round We've got butts that make A tiny "toot" sound Butts that are flat And butts super small Butts on short people Butts for people who are tall We've got butts that are firm Hard in your grasp Butts that are flabby But nice ones at that Butts so big They cover the seat And butts that are tiny Cute and petite We've got baby butts With the softest of skin Old ones that show How old, where they've been Butts that are fake so plump and new Butts that are real Which are far in few But what's this? A **** we don't know? Yes it's your **** And just look at it glow! It's so very unique It's one-of-a-kind! Yes that trunk back there Is quite some behind! You don't need a new **** Why yours is so you! Who would wear it If it wasn't on you? Show off that **** girl! Because it's got class You'll have everyone saying "What an amazing * * *"
0
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 28, 2015 at 4:56 PM UTC
The **** Store
A handful of leaves Smells just like Autumn. The bits make me sneeze. Cheew! Gaia's bottom!
0
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 12:08 AM UTC
Butt-End of Things
I don’t care, That you don’t care, About caring about What I care for. And you know what? I don’t care that You won’t care for the only thing that I really care for. What if I care about cake? Would you not care about cake? Would you not care ABOUT CAKE? You care about cake, of course you do. I can see it in your eyes and by that tell tale dribble at your mouth. Cake is something that will make your legs quake with butter cream goodness. A good cake baked, makes you proud to be a cake baking citizen in a country that will let you bake cake. So what if I care about democracy. Would you not care about democracy? Would you let people live in fear of the **** of a gun, Would you care that there are those who are on the run from tyranny and violence who know pain and loss, that you could only wake up from, in a cold sweat? As you turn and toss in your memory foam bed. There is more happening on this Earth Then cake. There are greater causes than choosing between Thortons Double Chocolate Celebration and that traditional Victoria Sponge your Mother-in-law won in a raffle last week. The struggle humanity faces, is to live in harmony with each other. It cannot be resolved with cake. You cannot bring democracy to a country with cake. Or can we? What if we swapped, Non radar detectable aircraft For dairy delectable foodcraft, What if we swapped 12inch shells for 12 thousand babybels? What if we stole RPGs and gave back MSG’s (they’re less harmful in the long run, if thrown at you). What if, for once, everyone cared. And then we’d get somewhere. Every voice in every home Would not be a voice alone, And for once, we’d all agree about the fact we like cake and democracy for all.
0
Mar 16, 2010
Mar 16, 2010 at 8:19 AM UTC
Cake and Democracy
I don’t care, That you don’t care, About caring about What I care for. And you know what? I don’t care that You won’t care for the only thing that I really care for. What if I care about cake? Would you not care about cake? Would you not care ABOUT CAKE? You care about cake, of course you do. I can see it in your eyes and by that tell tale dribble at your mouth. Cake is something that will make your legs quake with butter cream goodness. A good cake baked, makes you proud to be a cake baking citizen in a country that will let you bake cake. So what if I care about democracy. Would you not care about democracy? Would you let people live in fear of the **** of a gun, Would you care that there are those who are on the run from tyranny and violence who know pain and loss, that you could only wake up from, in a cold sweat? As you turn and toss in your memory foam bed. There is more happening on this Earth Then cake. There are greater causes than choosing between Thortons Double Chocolate Celebration and that traditional Victoria Sponge your Mother-in-law won in a raffle last week. The struggle humanity faces, is to live in harmony with each other. It cannot be resolved with cake. You cannot bring democracy to a country with cake. Or can we? What if we swapped, Non radar detectable aircraft For dairy delectable foodcraft, What if we swapped 12inch shells for 12 thousand babybels? What if we stole RPGs and gave back MSG’s (they’re less harmful in the long run, if thrown at you). What if, for once, everyone cared. And then we’d get somewhere. Every voice in every home Would not be a voice alone, And for once, we’d all agree about the fact we like cake and democracy for all.
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68
I love chocolate chip cookies Be they soft or be they crunchy They are my favorite munchie. I love them by the pound. The best snack around. My love for these cookies Surpasses my love of ice cream. They are more than what they seem. They make my day and then more so. Even though they make my **** grow. Chocolate chip cookies They are my very best friends. I am sure these cookies With stick with me to the end. I can count on them to please me. Cookies never ever tease me. I love chocolate chip cookies Whether they are baked at home Or just purchased on the roam. If they are professionally made, Gifted to me or I have paid. Nothing else tickles me so much. I start giggling when I first touch Those delightful little sweet plops. Don’t bother calling the calorie cops. Chocolate chip cookies They are my very best friends. I am sure these cookies With stick with me to the end. I can count on them to please me. Cookies never ever tease me. I love chocolate chip cookies I know it started when I was a kid; What those rolls of dough did To me was transform me instantly Almost to carbohydrate insanity. I could eat as many as I touched; I loved them just exactly that much And it continued on into adulthood. Chocolate chip cookies are that good. Chocolate chip cookies They are my very best friends. I am sure these cookies With stick with me to the end. I can count on them to please me. Cookies never ever tease me.
0
Nov 12, 2016
Nov 12, 2016 at 4:54 PM UTC
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
Guess what I'm writing about Deez Nuts! No seriously, Not the thought we were going for? So let's go a little more; Maybe about the presidential candidate Or the family jewels on my plate. I'm trying not to laugh Or bust a gut. Maybe I can use Deez Nuts! To bust in your guts. Let's just rhyme. I like big butts (And I cannot Lie) Or I might get in a rut If you play with my nuts And don't let my kids Kiss your back or your **** Or reach those guts. Sidenote: I'm tan Like a pharaoh, King Tut But first, Get Acquainted with me Unless you're a **** Than you're more than welcome To meet Deez Nuts!
0
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 11:09 AM UTC
Deez Nuts!