*******
smunghole
in the *******
was a scattootle
scattootle bootle wootly?
bow wow slam dow sham wow
spow spow pow pow pop
pop pop pop
watchin *****'s drop

I hate white people
who stop me from stealing their stuff
and bring in the po po
who put me in hand cuff.

Now I'm in jail
cannot post bail
eating out of a metal bowl
while being ****** in my *******.

Then it occurred to me
what I am supposed to be
so I became a basketball player
and changed my name to Lebron James.

Chris Bosh wants to be more than homies
ever since I was drunk and he groped me
he wanted my ****
i think he was sick.

Spoelstra is an ***
I ****** hate him.
he needs to die
before I cram a basketball in his wife.

Now
Imagine, Jean du Scatmân
Xanax, give me more, man
Only the great scatting of John can give
Now you can live
Wearing tight-pants for the nation
**** irritation;
Stitch the jeans right
The kakis are white
How many kids did you ****?
Entire stomachs, hungry still
Burp during the call
Elephantiasis, in the ball?
Save us from the reds
The ******* is now Dead

to spark the story funny cards are best
that reindeer's bushy ******* and his backward grin
makes each of us a burly teamster Santa  
but best of all, the irony of ***-end-joy
makes this the perfect millennial American Greeting
                to plunk down the Wal-Mart buck-fifty for

alas, the real juice of narrative's left at the store
the all-night mind spins out its setting
action arch of dialogue to dénouement
then lost in the well-stocked silence of stuff

somewhere in those reels, maybe a better person
crafts hearts breaking open to a generous life
and emerges from those screenings joyful—
grateful for the chance to evolve from the self-serving
                multitude of errors sporting masks
posts gentle merry wishes and even ribald humor
                to that impossible God-blessed everyone

These gremlins are messing with me today
Siting on the ***
With a book to read
A video game on the phone
No toilet paper for me *******
I got the bathroom blues
I'm yelping for some helping
Getting nothing but a silence
Oh these bathroom blues
Got me bad

It's just that I never tried
Filling water to a barrel
With a *******.
Futility, I should say.
That is quite true, expectedly true
Before I met you.