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"brits" poems
There was a chap called Charlie. Who lived in separation. In total world of degradation. Father left when he were nine. A raging alcoholic. Charlie, his brother and his mother. Sent off to the workhouse. In the land of Lambeth. No palace. The family were ushered into areas of segregation. Mother and children apart in our apparently grand nation. Product of shame documented by satirists. Dickens's favourite topic. Poor folks made poorer, In workhouses designed to embarrass. Those already destitute, Not by choice for sure. Only crime being poor. Dignity stripped. Destroyed of heart. Wrecked in health To reduce their being even more. God help you if you were not fit. **** of the earth, you were purged. We the Brits now get benefits, Be grateful that we do. _____________________________________________________________________________ Charlie found extreme success. When as a film star of the silent kind. With a plaque on the wall of his once posh house in Vauxhall. His surname it was Chaplin! By ladylivvi1 © 2014 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
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Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 10:35 AM UTC
Charlies' Workhouse!
I really think that it is just a sin. That when there is trouble The Big Boys join in. They all come across saying that they'll make a change and then somebodys World they will then rearange. The US and Russia along with us Brits don't want it that way so we blow it to bits. We give guns to him, supply arms to another. Then we sit back and watch as Brother kills Brother. Who are we to guide? Who are we to preach. When we cling on to their assets like a blood ******* leach. We should leave others alone till our own house is done, yet we watch as our schools become run by the gun. Where now it's the norm to be shot as we learn, just as long as big commerce is able to earn. Those who should know better don't know how to behave Happy to see another Child in a Grave. So you Big Boys go elsewhere because it's well known that if you come to play you come armed with a Drone. While you're sitting back comfy in your armchair. You can relentlessly **** from a place that's not there. Then when you pull the plug and remove your devices we are faced with a problem of people making bad choices. We have made problems worse! We have let people down and when we get a world crisis we'll react with a frown. We don't want them here. They cannot go there. A whole host of humanity who is welcome Nowhere. We created this problem! We created this way. So in the future keep The Big Boys away.
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Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 1:56 PM UTC
The Big Boys
Sticky Sticky, So **** Sticky, Us Brits and our Weather are so **** Picky Sun Beats Down, Evaporates the Frowns Then there's the complaints for which wer are so renowned Too Cold, Too Hot, Please Just Stop... I was waiting all winter long and now you strop I much prefer shades to a winters coat Up round my **** not up round my throat Own far more Mini's than I do Scarfs and it was the Summer Holiday's I had most Laughs So you can keep your dreams of cosy nights in As I excite the 'Vit D' and Tan my Skin All trhose extra layers keeping you wrapped I prefer the White lines where my Crop-Top Strapped "I can't Move, Think I'm Melting", I quickly choose 'Rays' over 'Downpours' or 'Peltings' Sitting at this screen writing is now getting Tricky It's Sticky Sticky....Too ****** Sticky... Yeergh!
0
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
Sticky
With a Jewish religion and a German Queen, Who has a clue where the Brits have been? Mum’s clan were Huguenots, Dad’s maybe Welsh. Lots of Africans in our football teams. Keep out those immigrants many do say, Even those whose parents came from Bombay. We’ve lots of patriots from Pakistan: The younger generation, Brits to a man. But some are Radicals I hear you say, We should be sending them on their way, Back to Asia where they belong, To the tunes of a UKIP song. So what is “British” we must ask, For this is not an easy task. Justice and Democracy I hear you shout, Tiny islands with some clout. Shakespeare, Beatles, Rugby Lions, Churchill clapping foes in irons. Let’s be glad that we are free And settle down to a cuppa tea. Paul Butters
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Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 5:47 AM UTC
True Brit
CHAI GARAM CHAI Millions of cups of TEA/CHAI each day, we Indians happily consume It is almost a must every morning, evening and before we work resume Lures us its aroma at home or when we pass by a tea-stall, tempting are its fumes One of the most consumed drinks in India is definitely chai, anyone can this presume Huge varieties there are, count one cannot; but the most famous I guess is Masala chai Most Indians, specially Gujjus, this thoroughly enjoy; even foreigners must definitely it try. Every morning a fresh cup of boiling chai makes your day; ah! that cup of "garma-garam chai" My most favorites are the aadu-ilaichi (ginger cardamom) n Bawaji special, the fudhina-leeli-chai Once you sip it, along with Bun-Muska, almost addicted you are, you get a "Chaska" true. There is an art in concocting a good cup of chai; one must know how to it properly brew Sadly I wasn't allowed to taste coffee or tea/chai when young, I tasted it, only when I grew Tea here, is a drink old, but the Brits loved it n made it famous; so, chai is old tea is new Armin Dutia Motashaw
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Apr 24, 2022
Apr 24, 2022 at 4:59 AM UTC
CHAI GARAM CHAI
Gwuts on gwanilliagax Ready hot gwip Trill on the vibrant note gabeeboh What a thril it is to be in nice gazeebo What a punk that doused on the free zobe What punctillious panagax that frigged all the wets out And when the trip to the sausage make didnt pull down alaz Alaz, I am the wet tug. Alaz, the sprig of wheat ***** taint. Didn't you say you loved me? Well, the bruts on the wagon sauce now Didn't me have a big one, tug one, sauce one? Well elemayo gwit gwits gwit gwits gwit gwit.....gwit Embryo collecting on the branch of a saggy My baggy be ripped, dripped all the can out Me step on a puddle, the wet one, the biggy My pets on the leg, rub, all on it sticky, how ****** He chugs out a wet belch and creams on the gricky How quaint is his fat bristle comb, of his **** I am assured This great honkulous tank sub that brits on my dimbo,in limbo my ship It greats on the grates treat me to a sub snack ship ***** ***** factory get e Tag me on your webpage, then **** me silly
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Aug 16, 2011
Aug 16, 2011 at 11:01 PM UTC
The Drip of Pestilence in my Ding-Hole 8-9-C-Me
Your life's twilight on a September evening came. And ferried you were by crimson cherubs; conveyed in splendour on a celestial cruise, to gates pleasant for a permanent reign. Your reign on the throne on a September autumn exited, but your indelible legacy in the hearts of Brits is enthroned gloriously.
0
Dec 21, 2022
Dec 21, 2022 at 8:28 AM UTC
Immortal Queen Elizabeth
Curtains up NOW OWN ~IT~ AS IF   you're the King    of the whole     **** stage   when you're really   just another player acting out for those cheap seats you survey Where else **** HERE* would THEY get to see such a [defamation] -free play?" (laughing) **"Best you throw some sweets**. Indulge them ...**I'd say! ...I'd say!"** The Evil Queen  smirks & a knife glints in her hand Is she creeping up Behind You? (or... does she need a real man?) Ahhhh!!     you see... she's exhausted A-LADD-IN & she knows where to find you.. (evil laughter) Ohhhh! It's just as well you're in costume *...now  remember your lines* "Don't props (& illusions) make a jolly good night!" and baby, WOW! you look Oh! Soooo cute in those tights!                                   and with a sweep of the stage, the smirking Queen exits >               right This stage is all yours now So Buttons...    take a bow (us Brits love an underdog in a fight) ... Make your bow deep ~with a flourish of resplendence~ that captures their hearts try more than That wiggle -and a lot more- than one dance!                        To do it well...                                                                         get a catchphrase (which we'll ALL lurvey darlink from the start) Believe me, is good Always is     another... try the one     you've used in      rehearsals with the   Stepsisters - all dragged up- looking L    O              V      U           E            G                L       L                                                        Y              (like their mother)                                                                                            cough                                                                                  **** it..                                Everyone chokes                                on the dry ice that swirls!                      The audience ponders.... WHO's the boys ? THAT's... a... girl ?!                                 &                       in                  the                low              glow                they'll see           Cinders singing of loves' sweet melody,   those s l o w shoe shuffles             softly sliding across their                                                      t                                                    r                                                          a                                                                 p                                                                                            door hearts   Laughing & crying along through each emotion of the tattered   sweet princess, who               simply hasn't had                              a Prince in her...                     winks                            sights                                                (YET!)           then   **Act II ends with a Flash! & a Bang!**   They all lived   ever after...        Cinders' happy? THE END
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Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 5:20 AM UTC
*exit stage left for dramas... ...and right for scenes* (Spoken Word)
Curtains up NOW OWN ~IT~ AS IF   you're the King    of the whole     **** stage   when you're really   just another player acting out for those cheap seats you survey Where else **** HERE* would THEY get to see such a [defamation] -free play?" (laughing) **"Best you throw some sweets**. Indulge them ...**I'd say! ...I'd say!"** The Evil Queen  smirks & a knife glints in her hand Is she creeping up Behind You? (or... does she need a real man?) Ahhhh!!     you see... she's exhausted A-LADD-IN & she knows where to find you.. (evil laughter) Ohhhh! It's just as well you're in costume *...now  remember your lines* "Don't props (& illusions) make a jolly good night!" and baby, WOW! you look Oh! Soooo cute in those tights!                                   and with a sweep of the stage, the smirking Queen exits >               right This stage is all yours now So Buttons...    take a bow (us Brits love an underdog in a fight) ... Make your bow deep ~with a flourish of resplendence~ that captures their hearts try more than That wiggle -and a lot more- than one dance!                        To do it well...                                                                         get a catchphrase (which we'll ALL lurvey darlink from the start) Believe me, is good Always is     another... try the one     you've used in      rehearsals with the   Stepsisters - all dragged up- looking L    O              V      U           E            G                L       L                                                        Y              (like their mother)                                                                                            cough                                                                                  **** it..                                Everyone chokes                                on the dry ice that swirls!                      The audience ponders.... WHO's the boys ? THAT's... a... girl ?!                                 &                       in                  the                low              glow                they'll see           Cinders singing of loves' sweet melody,   those s l o w shoe shuffles             softly sliding across their                                                      t                                                    r                                                          a                                                                 p                                                                                            door hearts   Laughing & crying along through each emotion of the tattered   sweet princess, who               simply hasn't had                              a Prince in her...                     winks                            sights                                                (YET!)           then   **Act II ends with a Flash! & a Bang!**   They all lived   ever after...        Cinders' happy? THE END
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132
Adolf ****** was really quite a chap He made those Froggies eat a lot of crap; And he made all those Norwegians Look like a load of paraplegians. He marched into Poland with his troops Into their pants those Poles did poops. He made short work of the poor old Greeks: And in their pants they did big keeks. Killing the Jews was oh so bad and cruel: Burning them up for harsh winter fuel. But invading Russia was a bad place to go And the Nazis froze in the cold and snow. The Yanks were frightened to join in the war: They were **** scared of what they saw; (they only got involved when the Japanese brought the Pearl Harbour fleet to its knees). Only the Brits stood resolute and brave For Churchill was an inspiring knave; He fought Adolf on the shores and beaches And the Germans crapped their leder-britches. So what is the lesson of these facts from history? Not ****** much - what a ******* mystery.
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Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 1:42 PM UTC
A lesson from history
We bebopped along the Straße, full of the finest hops, higher than kites, enamored with everything Deutsch. Everywhere we went, the deejays spun the Beatles & Stones, as if  we were Brits, when we were actually Yanks & nein GI's, Ich bin students!
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Feb 7, 2014
Feb 7, 2014 at 12:25 PM UTC
Nein GI's, Ich Bin Students! (Beatles & Stones)
i like jelly babies such a lovely treat not to big and bulky small enough to eat they have lots of colors a jelly baby race everytime i eat one puts a smile upon my face when you eat the females they are nice and thin they fit in your mouth when you put them in best of all the boys all of them are brits they taste so much better they have the extra bits
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Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 6:13 PM UTC
jelly babies
Plane Poetry: I go to Barber aisle seat C 14, an emergency exit row, forced to solemnly swear that for the extra legroom, I will solemnly assist to open the exit door, me first as my reward, and keep my terrified screaming below an elephant's trumpeting mating call what hast this to do with a trip to Barber? you Brits and Aussies, ever economical, say went 'to hospital,' leaving we Ameddicans to dignify that august institution as going to The Hospital Thus advised, be apprised, a Nota Bene Benidictus: I go to Barber, Not I go to the barber. Samuel Barber, Adagio for String Quartet, Barber If unfamiliar with this piece, you will recall it well if "Apocalypse Now" registers at all If not stop immediately, return to Go, start here, www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRMz8fKkG2g be prepared to surrender your mortality, listen and if effected, if you find yourself on your knees weeping, recalling the days of loss, the early empires of hope, the first kiss of your firstborn and unknowingly, the last you gave a loved one if you have the courage to be touched and impacted, as I, then welcome back to right here where why... *I go to Barber where violins soar me heavenwards, where violins rip open sores long since scarred over, I go to Barber and float, eyes sky'd, as water fills and departs my body simultaneously, I go to Barber to know that art can rise beyond, that my weakened, wrecked human flesh, surpassable   I go to Barber to harmonize my disconcordia, romantic lyricisize my waning days, I go to Barber to voluntary confess, admit my impoverishment, to acknowledge that they, my days, yet are capable, I go to Barber to remember and to forget, to mark and unmark time I go to Barber to be created and recreated, to be destructed and despaired I go to Barber to acknowledge, as human, better is forever possible, for of the god spark, yet unextinguished I go to Barber because there is no plane as fast as his slow adagio, to transport me to the who I am and should yet be*
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May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 4:47 PM UTC
Plane Poetry: I go to Barber
Plane Poetry: I go to Barber aisle seat C 14, an emergency exit row, forced to solemnly swear that for the extra legroom, I will solemnly assist to open the exit door, me first as my reward, and keep my terrified screaming below an elephant's trumpeting mating call what hast this to do with a trip to Barber? you Brits and Aussies, ever economical, say went 'to hospital,' leaving we Ameddicans to dignify that august institution as going to The Hospital Thus advised, be apprised, a Nota Bene Benidictus: I go to Barber, Not I go to the barber. Samuel Barber, Adagio for String Quartet, Barber If unfamiliar with this piece, you will recall it well if "Apocalypse Now" registers at all If not stop immediately, return to Go, start here, www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRMz8fKkG2g be prepared to surrender your mortality, listen and if effected, if you find yourself on your knees weeping, recalling the days of loss, the early empires of hope, the first kiss of your firstborn and unknowingly, the last you gave a loved one if you have the courage to be touched and impacted, as I, then welcome back to right here where why... *I go to Barber where violins soar me heavenwards, where violins rip open sores long since scarred over, I go to Barber and float, eyes sky'd, as water fills and departs my body simultaneously, I go to Barber to know that art can rise beyond, that my weakened, wrecked human flesh, surpassable   I go to Barber to harmonize my disconcordia, romantic lyricisize my waning days, I go to Barber to voluntary confess, admit my impoverishment, to acknowledge that they, my days, yet are capable, I go to Barber to remember and to forget, to mark and unmark time I go to Barber to be created and recreated, to be destructed and despaired I go to Barber to acknowledge, as human, better is forever possible, for of the god spark, yet unextinguished I go to Barber because there is no plane as fast as his slow adagio, to transport me to the who I am and should yet be*
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72
(Read in your best British accent) Well what can’t I say Of the so called Baylo Brits Their weird, crazy, and wild Smoking herb, and jiggling **** They giggle and laugh Acting all so very pip They’re ****** wankas they are Especially Fritz and Kip Not from England Though they do have a friend named Jack Witty as hell the blokes really be Its just sanity they seem to lack First Hannah said **** off She’s a lovely poppet of a girl And all this first came about As they passed around, a pearl
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Apr 29, 2012
Apr 29, 2012 at 5:05 PM UTC
The Baylo Brits
It'll all be over in about eight minutes, Give or take, depending on your side of the Earth, Plasma therapy for the masses. Just like that, we're all crispy critters, Pork rind skins flavored with dehydrated sea-salt. That beautiful aurora-generating magnetosphere, Shrinking daily, as the planet's poles reverse, Will puncture like a too thin prophylactic. The Christians will have just minutes, Reminding us that we were prophesized To all go out in fire and overlooking That we're actually being ionized with radiation --- A mere trifle to the True-Believers. Will the Dow-Jones sell off in those final moments? Will the Russians attempt to launch a Soyuz? The Brits will take it all in stride with another pint; Aussies venture on their final walkabout. As for me, I'm gonna saddle up a pony heading straight out to greet the Joshua trees. I want to meet annihilation on my own terms.
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Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012 at 2:28 PM UTC
Coronal Mass Ejection
The Platypus (a limerick for adults, teens and older children) by Michael R. Burch The platypus, myopic, is ungainly, not ****** His feet for bed are over-webbed, and what of his proboscis? The platypus, though, is eager although his means are meager. His sight is poor; perhaps he’ll score with a passing duck or ****** Keywords/Tags: limerick, double limerick, humor, light verse, nonsense verse, platypus, ****** duck, proboscis, nose, beak, feet, webbed, flippers, eyes, eyesight, sight, vision, myopia, myopic, animal, nature, ****** erotica The Mallard by Michael R. Burch The mallard is a fellow whose lips are long and yellow with which he, honking, kisses his ***** boisterous mistress: my pond’s their loud bordello! Dot Spotted by Michael R. Burch There once was a leopardess, Dot, who indignantly answered: "I'll not! The gents are impressed with the way that I'm dressed. I wouldn't change even one spot." Stage Craft-y by Michael R. Burch There once was a dromedary who befriended a crafty canary. Budgie said, "You can’t sing, but now, here’s the thing— just think of the tunes you can carry!" Ballade of the Bicameral Camel by Michael R. Burch There once was a camel who loved to **** Please get your lewd minds out of their slump! He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump! Clyde Lied! by Michael R. Burch There once was a mockingbird, Clyde, who bragged of his prowess, but lied. To his new wife he sighed, "When again, gentle bride?" "Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied. Other Limericks The Better Man by Michael R. Burch Dear Ed: I don't understand why you will publish this other guy— when I'm brilliant, devoted, one hell of a poet! Yet you publish Anonymous. Fie! Fie! A pox on your head if you favor this poet who's dubious, unsavor y, inconsistent in texts, no address (I checked!) : since he's plagiarized Unknown, I'll wager! "Of Tetley's and V-2's" or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits" by Michael R. Burch The English are very hospitable, but tea-less, alas, they grow pitiable... or pitiless, rather, and quite in a lather! O bother, they're more than formidable.
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Mar 8, 2020
Mar 8, 2020 at 11:22 PM UTC
The Platypus, a double limerick
The Platypus (a limerick for adults, teens and older children) by Michael R. Burch The platypus, myopic, is ungainly, not ****** His feet for bed are over-webbed, and what of his proboscis? The platypus, though, is eager although his means are meager. His sight is poor; perhaps he’ll score with a passing duck or ****** Keywords/Tags: limerick, double limerick, humor, light verse, nonsense verse, platypus, ****** duck, proboscis, nose, beak, feet, webbed, flippers, eyes, eyesight, sight, vision, myopia, myopic, animal, nature, ****** erotica The Mallard by Michael R. Burch The mallard is a fellow whose lips are long and yellow with which he, honking, kisses his ***** boisterous mistress: my pond’s their loud bordello! Dot Spotted by Michael R. Burch There once was a leopardess, Dot, who indignantly answered: "I'll not! The gents are impressed with the way that I'm dressed. I wouldn't change even one spot." Stage Craft-y by Michael R. Burch There once was a dromedary who befriended a crafty canary. Budgie said, "You can’t sing, but now, here’s the thing— just think of the tunes you can carry!" Ballade of the Bicameral Camel by Michael R. Burch There once was a camel who loved to **** Please get your lewd minds out of their slump! He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump! Clyde Lied! by Michael R. Burch There once was a mockingbird, Clyde, who bragged of his prowess, but lied. To his new wife he sighed, "When again, gentle bride?" "Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied. Other Limericks The Better Man by Michael R. Burch Dear Ed: I don't understand why you will publish this other guy— when I'm brilliant, devoted, one hell of a poet! Yet you publish Anonymous. Fie! Fie! A pox on your head if you favor this poet who's dubious, unsavor y, inconsistent in texts, no address (I checked!) : since he's plagiarized Unknown, I'll wager! "Of Tetley's and V-2's" or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits" by Michael R. Burch The English are very hospitable, but tea-less, alas, they grow pitiable... or pitiless, rather, and quite in a lather! O bother, they're more than formidable.
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67
(sonnet #MMMMMCCCLXVIII) Lo, poor man's tea in dawn's first light, whose pale Eye shifts vague shadows 'cross dead houses thence, Ere twinkling with an orange splash' warming sense Upon that silence, and no coffee's bail In morning's fog as rosy lee's detail. Snow's bitter whiteness waits sans aught suspense While sparrows gaily answer for two pence, And I wash up the dishes on that scale. We fix a mean cup of ole joe as twere, Yet where the Brits swear by tea's mincing cue I oddly know what tis to waken, poor As such assertions oer the second brew. Discuss caffeine, and I sleep well nor stir 'Til ah, forget it.  What I need is you. 05Jan16d
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Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 10:46 PM UTC
We Argue Tea Like's Going Outta Style
The World is all forlorn As New Covid is born. Time to frown, We are getting locked down. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine We hear your cavalry bugle call. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine If you don’t work, the writing’s on the wall. So many dead, it’s hard to bear, So much menace in the air. Everyone tired of this stuff, So many folk having it rough. One Lockdown was very tough Having three is more than enough. Children getting schooled at home By parents who are on the dole. Americans fight amongst themselves, Instead of putting food on the shelves. Brits have been distracted by Brexit, Arguably a mistimed exit. Last March I asked Will this last a year? Well the time is coming – It’s getting near. That vaccine surely gives us hope But where’s our second jab? No more playing rope a dope, This chance we have to grab. No jab at all for me, As I am sixty eight. I’ll have to wait and see But am prepared to wait. Paul Butters © PB 8\1\2021. First two lines by Norman Stevens.
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Jan 8, 2021
Jan 8, 2021 at 8:30 AM UTC
Covid Lockdown Three
it's weird that Brits say "chips" instead of "french fries", and it's sad that your dad says "you're hopeless" instead of "I love you". it's weird that the sun pokes up out of the ground at different times everyday, and it's sad that it hurts more when you poke your finger than when you run the blade down your skin. it's weird that the sun still shines when it's 3 degrees outside, and it's sad that 3 am is filled with thoughts of agony and your pillow is stained with the salt water from your eyes. it's weird that there's 365 days in a year but it dreads on feeling like 1,000, and it's sad that the pills that are supposed to make you feel better for your depression only make you want to swallow 365 more to make the pain go away. it's weird that you're forced to go to school with ignorant teenagers that have no idea what they want in life besides getting high, and it's sad that those teenagers romanticize self harm and depression like it's beautiful to have demons in your mind eating away your sanity.
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Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 9:34 PM UTC
it's weird
The Brits were twits in '29, I reckon mandates were not their cup of tea. I suppose silence speaks louder than a noose, And that as long as one is civilized, we may agree to disagree. Enemies share common grounds- Blood to be spilled, one pair apiece of shoes, Salaam, shalom, auf wiedersein, tootleoo.
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Dec 2, 2012
Dec 2, 2012 at 3:02 AM UTC
The Revolt
O' Casey had been told where the meeting was senior members of the IRA would attend he didn't know and thought that MI6 would be there duped into assassination was a dangerous masterstroke others knew that he was dissatisfied with the hierarchy so if it transpired, he would be a likely target If the real resaon was found, they would never forget the old mainland action would be re-ignited and the Brits cleverness found to be short-sighted the peace process was a sham, arms locked away Adams and McGuinness in suits, smug faces while they postulated and mixed in high places 'You realize what were doing?' The ***** said 'Rather, let them carry on with their empty head.'
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Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 3:06 PM UTC
DISSIDENTS
I've got an invitation to the Boston Tea Party I'm letting you know in case you want to come with me I heard from some friends that it's going down in history Don't think about it twice Just say yes Whoa! Uh oh! No taxation without representation Whoa! Uh oh! These patriot's they know how to show a good time. Whoa! Uh oh! What Georgie gonna think when he wakes up in the morning? Pass me the quill, dear Hancock. Thomas Jefferson, he has got a way with words He really makes you believe that this dream's gonna work (Maybe if you forget that these Brits rule the world) I'll sign the declaration It's all I have left to believe in Whoa! Uh oh! Paul Revere he says the British are coming! Whoa! Uh oh! Can't you hear, the belfry's bells are ringing Whoa! Uh oh! Pick up guns we're off to Lexington Hoofbeats are flying out to the night. Wait. Here I stand. At this Battle of Bunker Hill. Stop. Close your eyes. What happend to our sanity? Civility? Humanity? (It went out the door with our freedom.) Whoa! Uh oh! We don't need a King we have our own voices Whoa! Uh oh! Life and Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness Whoa! Uh oh! Save the date, July 4th 1776 US of A, it's independence.
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May 11, 2010
May 11, 2010 at 2:34 PM UTC
The Rock National Anthem
I didn't, even though, I wanted to, I wanted to watch candles flicker and scabs form, I wanted to see blood **** from were the light was so bright, like nothing could be dark, but the irony in what I wanted to do, using light to create the darkness, my simple candle will mimic the gods in the sun. but my mind became that of a stronger one, knowing the candle need not make my path darth, and the candle acted as a godly sun, the godliest of all, the british one, and I just felt over old burns and cuts, and cried as one might, in a the present of the brits sun god, for even the queen herself would of cried if given her time. but right now it's just me, and the dark night.
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Aug 9, 2015
Aug 9, 2015 at 9:38 PM UTC
darkest sun
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? ... A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up! Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad? Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me. Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" AND...... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. Concocted (for a sort of reconciliation) ...for our weekly fatty club weigh in. Ha! M.
0
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 4:54 PM UTC
Love this Japanese Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? ... A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up! Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad? Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me. Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" AND...... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. Concocted (for a sort of reconciliation) ...for our weekly fatty club weigh in. Ha! M.
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28
Oh its that time again isn't it Summer, had my ticket for months, but its that time properly now Planning brings a strange nostalgic reality to it, little multi-sense photos An atmosphere can be difficult to really deconstruct when you just got words to go on But its definitely one I enjoy, one that I embrace headlong Travelling is that monotonous thing, early rising to enjoy the window of a minivan for a few hours Watching the familiar turn to new hills and roads that represent thousands of lives and millions of cells That I don't give two ***** about Did somebody bring a CD? Does it work? ****** hell. The service station provides our group with yet another chance to take the **** out of each other And converse in that usual way, a spontaneous collection of enjoyable media, social events and our opinionated picking apart of the world Then we get there, I'm reminded of my sheer lack of exercise as I carry all my **** to the campsite And after a while we're set up, the tents are out, the deck chair is under my *** and the plastic cup of *** and coke is in my hand And here's the atmosphere again, that memorable ******* where the brits are really bohemian We drink, we talk, we laugh, we **** take The night develops and the spontaneity and quiet chaos cracks out of our shells And if I've done well I've forgotten all of it, or puked it up the side of a fence The bands come on the next day, and the drink is that usual inhibition ********** friend As a couple misfits in black shirts and jeans surround themselves in thousands of misfits in black shirts and jeans And the dark comes along again, I lose my crowd to immerse myself in another That song on my mp3 player becomes four men on instruments, with bigger speakers than my house The experience becomes completely mine as alcohol lowers my cynicism and enhances my immersion Making that band a little more ******* awesome I wake up with a dodgy looking beard, misplaced hair and a tent to abandon Looking forward to a shower and a plate of chicken But with resounding sense of success and a slight smirk Definitely do it again next year.
0
Aug 5, 2013
Aug 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM UTC
Festival Season
Oh its that time again isn't it Summer, had my ticket for months, but its that time properly now Planning brings a strange nostalgic reality to it, little multi-sense photos An atmosphere can be difficult to really deconstruct when you just got words to go on But its definitely one I enjoy, one that I embrace headlong Travelling is that monotonous thing, early rising to enjoy the window of a minivan for a few hours Watching the familiar turn to new hills and roads that represent thousands of lives and millions of cells That I don't give two ***** about Did somebody bring a CD? Does it work? ****** hell. The service station provides our group with yet another chance to take the **** out of each other And converse in that usual way, a spontaneous collection of enjoyable media, social events and our opinionated picking apart of the world Then we get there, I'm reminded of my sheer lack of exercise as I carry all my **** to the campsite And after a while we're set up, the tents are out, the deck chair is under my *** and the plastic cup of *** and coke is in my hand And here's the atmosphere again, that memorable ******* where the brits are really bohemian We drink, we talk, we laugh, we **** take The night develops and the spontaneity and quiet chaos cracks out of our shells And if I've done well I've forgotten all of it, or puked it up the side of a fence The bands come on the next day, and the drink is that usual inhibition ********** friend As a couple misfits in black shirts and jeans surround themselves in thousands of misfits in black shirts and jeans And the dark comes along again, I lose my crowd to immerse myself in another That song on my mp3 player becomes four men on instruments, with bigger speakers than my house The experience becomes completely mine as alcohol lowers my cynicism and enhances my immersion Making that band a little more ******* awesome I wake up with a dodgy looking beard, misplaced hair and a tent to abandon Looking forward to a shower and a plate of chicken But with resounding sense of success and a slight smirk Definitely do it again next year.
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27
To me a poem is a Statement, even a Speech. So, Friends, Britons and countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Britain, not to praise it. The evils that empires do live long after them. Colonial wrongs seem never put to right. Achievements hidden away in dusty books By historians, all honourable men (and women!). Yet historians say the Brits were too ambitious And too self-righteous by half. For historians are honourable men (and women). They say we must accept that we’re a tiny island nation And accept our place in the world. Yes, historians are honourable men (and women). They say we were too ambitious. But now, the world is threatened by dark forces, And only the winner takes the spoils (and writes the history!). Once more unto the breach us Brits must go, To fight like tigers And smite the foe. Paul Butters
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Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 4:09 PM UTC
Speech