The gray before the break
Is bleaker than the deepest black.
In that moment, neither sun nor stars are seen,
With light enough to fumble,
The world, meticulously painted,
Is one fell stroke of desperation;
The contrast of pinpricks stars in deepest night
More hopeful than this false ambition
Right before the dawn.
Feb 11, 2020
Feb 11, 2020 at 4:39 AM UTC
It hurt
When our souls were ripped apart;
We were made as one.
The agony has echoed through my life
Of the moment when the sun hit my eyes
And you were torn from me
For what has felt like a lifetime,
Of when they announced our arrivals
To two sets of parents
And we were taken home in different cities,
And we were ripped from each other
From loving darkness to blinding, aching light,
Left to wander
Until we might find
Each other again.
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 6:53 AM UTC
You leave me
Devastated
Speechless
Shell- shocked,
Like the ground on the field of battle
Absorbing what remains.
You leave me
In a state
Not unlike
The flight
Of a ladybug-
So swift, leaving you
Wondering
If she had been there at all.
You leave me
Mouth agape
Marveling
At the treasure that had been right at my fingertips,
At the sweetness that my tongue could have tasted,
That I could have filled my nose with all of your molecules,
That I could have filled my arms with every part of you,
That your laugh could have warmed my soul for just a little bit longer.
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 4:17 AM UTC
The howls, they
Filled the stale
air,
Raked the oxygen
tanks, Scraped
the metal rails,
Whistled past our ears
as if they'd traveled back
from our futures
Shrieking simpler times.
Jul 7, 2017
Jul 7, 2017 at 10:14 AM UTC
Hardened men, softened
By a lash, by a glance
Dirtied, uncovered
Soft of heart, sharp of eye
Themselves betrayed
By the stab of a gaze
Calcified, petrified
Of letting the softness away.
Jun 19, 2017
Jun 19, 2017 at 1:47 PM UTC
The clock stopped
And was defibrillated by the breath
Of the materialized bundle of
Blue skin and slippery warmth and matted hair.
An eternity of pain that lasted hours
Turned to infinity of minutes of suctioning and flashing lights,
Then to days that felt like forever of hospital stays.
The timeless car ride home turned into
Equally long three hour lifetimes,
Each expiring with every hungry cry.
The rest of my life
Is punctuated by moments,
By such realizations as, that
This minuscule creature
Kicking staccato butterfly flutters
Now on the outside of my stomach
Traveled in a horseshoe pattern from the inside to get there;
That I've never felt like such a miracle
As when listening to tiny bellows
Pump air in and out, mechanically rhythmic,
Like a drummer at the band practice of life.
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 10:01 AM UTC
convey, contain, explain the pain,
the unbearable straining 'gainst tons over weight,
like inevitable cracking 'fore porcelain breaks--
to slash 'cross the page like so many small veins,
to set ink a'flowing like filth in the rain,
to put words to paper (less likely to fade
than those meaningless noises that most people make)?
How lonesome, the cold sound, the poetry scratching
the sad, angry nib makes when blanks come a'bounding,
to conquer attempts made at filling the space
(the more full the margins the less full my brain),
the keening, the whining, erasing the phrase
created in lieu of composing my face,
Denied, stamped and branded, made nothing the matter,
no meaning, validity-- like me, ever after.
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 6:21 PM UTC
Haunted;
By whom, if not the dead?
In origin, to haunt--
To rise from the grave;
Adapted-- often thought of
Memories, things unrequited.
A soul tortured by objects
Is one who never-- even-- lived.
Haunted-- by whom
If not those left
Burnt, unburied,
Dead by theft?
Six million constant ghosts,
In addition to those
Left on speed dial on my phone,
Those placed on this earth, the
Guardians,
Who were cut down wearing green,
And the one whose deathbed
I attended--
They
Will
Not
Give
Me
Peace.
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 11:07 AM UTC
I loved you, once,
And never thought
The paper would read your name.
I wronged you twice,
I lied, I thought I’d find
A better man.
You all went off to war,
On foot, or encased in metal, or in air.
There thrice were years,
Each time I prayed another safe.
All four lovers, tall and short,
Happy at last or forever alone,
It was for me they’d have laid down lives,
And I never thought I’d cry.
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 5:14 AM UTC
I want to fall in love again and again;
With the anticipation of constancy
Forming butterflies with little wings
Before they fly off, leaving pits.
I want to gaze into many different sets of eyes;
That one with crinkles at the corner,
Others maybe blue or green,
And only mine remain.
I think I’d like to recycle tragedy and redemption,
To forever be seen for the first time,
To constantly be revealing my secrets
And be the worship of a man.
I should like this world to be a place
Where we agree to fall in and then out,
With a mutual parting of ways
Once the butterflies fly away.
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 11:19 AM UTC