Three days.

Its been Three days,
As I force my eyes shut.
My heart beats fast,
My heart aches to its soul.

Memories of good and old floods my being. Your smile, your smell, your touch.
I remember them all, crisp and clear.

You were my best,
You were my closest,
Together, we dreamed about life.
From here, there and till forever,
We promised to stay together.

One day, fear etched in,
because of fear you doubted,
Because of fear, you ran.
Your eyes which was once shining,
Is now trembling with fear.

I held on but you shrugged me,
I Grabbed but you slapped.

At one moment you were here,
And another you were gone.
You flew without looking back,
But a red string bounded my heart to yours.

You stretched, you pulled and I endured. But when you snapped, it ricochets like an arrow that pierces my heart.

How did this happen?
What did I do wrong?
In the name of Love,
All I did was love.

With my resolve firm and secure,
I choose the path set before me,
I choose the path of love.
To pursue you,
To win you  over from fear.

But questions lurk beneth me,
Questions that wants the pain to go away.
for i do not know how much longer I can bear.

And so, my eyes are unable
they are unable to close.
For when they close
Pain drifts beneth my heart.

Three days, four days,

then there was a miracle from heaven no one saw.

God touched your  heart,
like how he calmed the storm,
He calmed your heart.

Four days,

Four sleepless days and no more.
For you have returned.

She flew on the line
Of sweet sanity
A tightrope of harsh reds
Beneth all our feet

One
           day
                     she
                                  fell.

Beulah gave out
Blossoms this spring
As big as sunflower heads.
They entwined the branches
Like the ribbon enclosing an expectant shower gift.
It's fragrance was the extract
Of an unbottled aroma
That is the Magnolia tree.
I rooted her in the yard
Four years ago.
She is iridescent for a brief time
Past mid Spring.
She has many Springs to go
Above the green growth below;
Many seasons beneth
The blue Summer skies above;
During the Autums ahead,
When I am dead,
And colder than Winter snows
Below her;
She will be there.
Rooted with care.

These seeds are light out of darkness,
Breathing in the deep cool earth
Far below our surface.
Thin lines of glowing brightness
Spread beneth the dirt.
A sprout will come with the rain,
Strong stalk supports yellow leaves.

They tried to bury us but they didn't
Know we were seeds.

You made a poet in me.

A poet with passion burried beneth  
A poet who lives in the name of love.
A poet who writes because mere words are not enough to express.

To express how much i love
To express how much i crave
To express how much i long for you.

You made a poet in me.

A poet who loves you.

I see you
you turn and run away
But I still hear you
I hear every word you say
And I still need you
Oh you know that I want you

But You + Me + Her
Won't add up to anything
And you want me to know
You're sorry for the sting
But I can tell I don't belong
Cause You + Me + Her
Is wrong

I try to tell you
but I won't get very far
Cause she controls you
like the driver to a car
And you're still hoping
that I might forgive you

But You + Me + Her
Won't add up to anything
And you have lost a friend
The wind beneth your wings
Now you can tell I don't belong
Cause You + Me + Her
Is wrong

Don't cheat.

Imagine this with your eyes closed.
These are the labored seconds before you open your eyes to the day.
A subtle ache hums in your bones and it takes an amount of effort to pull your eyelids apart.
And the light rushes into your eyes.

Being in an abusive relationship is like waking up in a plain white room that used to be full of color, and you look around wondering when it got to be this way. How could you not have noticed the color seeping from the drywall?
Did it happen while you were asleep?
No, you think, this must be how the room has always been. You must have imagined the color, colors are silly anyway.
No one else lives in rooms that are full of color, this must be normal.

There is an emptiness in your back that will not fill itself with your skin no matter which way you twist or turn and you vaguely remember taking a part of yourself and giving it to another.
Hushed whispers curl around your ears and for a second you can feel someones breath close to your neck.
The voices are familiar, loving, they caress the skin and if you listen close enough you can almost make out what they're saying.
"you're worthless lovely" they say
wait
no
that can't be right

See, what they don't tell you is that abusers are wonderful, you don't fall in love with monsters, they can be your best friend, your neighbor, the person who sits next to you in class.
The whole point of being with someone is not to make you feel terrible but to make you feel wonderful and that is almost always how it starts out.
After that it just depends on which side of the door you're on.

The wall is as cold and smooth as marble.
And you lay with your cheek pressed against it, as if listening for a heartbeat. Spreading across your skin is a numbness that can only be compared to sleeping with your eyes open,
Don't pinch yourself, you will wake whoever is dreaming.

In health class they aim to teach us about ourselves and others and how to interact and how to make good choices and outcomes of our problems but what happens when your health class illustrates your past?
I have yet to count the amount of people who have came out of that room with tears in their eyes, because they finally understand.

I UNDERSTOOD WHEN THE FIRST COLOR I SAW AGAIN WAS RED AND IT WAS AT THE CENTER OF HIS EYES,
I SWEAR THEY LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE FIRE,
WHEN HE ROSE HIS HAND TO HIT ME AND EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T TOUCH MY SKIN HE LEFT SCARS DEEP BENETH IT THAT STILL HAVEN'T HEALED AND WITH HIS HAND IN THE AIR AND HIS WORDS LIKE THUNDER I PUT MY HANDS TO MY FACE AND CLOSED MY EYES WHEN I OPENED THEM HE WAS GONE AND I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I NEVER LET HIM COME BACK BUT I WOULD BE LYING TO YOU

imagine this,
but open your eyes because in this room 1 out of every 3 people will be subject to abuse and I am not just a statistic but a reason to never shut them again,
I had too many people say that when I was sick every time before I saw him it was butterflies,
and I've had one too many girls come to me crying because they finally have a word to call their boyfriends,
and I have been to too many doctors to call my physical condition a random happening of events,
and I have too many reasons not to be silent anymore
it takes an amount of effort to pull your eyelids apart,
but let the light rush into your eyes

Dust particles danced in the gold crusted sunlight
Sleepy somber southern draws painted the air
Like bare footprints on wooden porches embraced by firefly lit twilgiht skys and warmed by summer time
Childhood sweet tea and the bitter taste of jack stained oil painted lips which froze and scorned my own
Under a sea of feather filled warm comforters, silky and snug spider webs
Cigarette smoke designed lines mid air, disinergrating, drifting like dreams
Around hands, rivers of axiety ridden blood, water, and glitter rush beneth snowy skin
Chemicals react blooming flowers all around me

I can hear it thumping Beneth my feet i coldent stand it i gust Need to weg the lie more I couldn't stand the thumping in my feet I was sickened by the thumping I had to confess I killed a man

Just amused listening to things i have never knew,
sitting in class with head phones in...

they thinking i cant hear nothing..
im always here listening...

words can hurt,
actions are cheap-if you are not true..

in the end...
i have freinds,
family & god on my side...

Be careful little ears what you hear, words can be deciteful,
be careful little eyes what you see, people can be evil...

let the light shine, let the truth overcome the lie's...
let the path beneth my feet, lead me where i should be...

Let me die
Where i lye
Held beneth the water
I was their daughter
Head pushed under
The roaring thunder
Hear the sounds
Breath slows down
Slowly loosing air
They really dont care
Hair wrapped around my face
Whats this funny taste
The waters salty
My body faulty
Lungs so full
Feeling the pull
Getting dragged up
I see a cup
Lying in a bed
This is my dread
Ive been saved
I wish i was enslaved
I wouldnt have a friend
Meaning i woulnt have to do it again
Its times like this
That i just wish
I could do an act
And never come back

I burn and burn
My fumes inhaled
I eat concerns
His mouth numb
But I feel alive
Twisting down his throat
Making paradiese
Why exhale
He feels empty anyways
Off the pills, leaving chemtrails
His lung is *****
So is my work
He is alone
Cuz he cant speak no sober words
I crawl through his lung
I ease his mind
The sensation, lived 1000 times
Easy to do, cuz the act is polite
As I float away
The street lights turn me yellow
I rise and I rose
The taste - good but shallow
He takes anothet hit
But im off into space
I'm taking my time
There ain't no race
Then I'll be one with the clouds
And he'll still be standing there
I'm taking his life
But he doesn't care
Now I don't need him anymore
And he becomes small

His problems be real
But for me they ain't
The city is beneth
All these humans
Problems
Problems
I am smoke, I dont care

The story of the rare unfold love story from the old past century the strong love with the two souls beneth in this world, their loves burned under the fire of emotions the sorrows of loneliness is in between apart, and the million of millions drops of tears, from the past has accumulated like a well, even difficult facing the truth as you face the critical thing where you now on the place, the golden chain still tied to your foot, you often think, but listen to me whispering to you a bit, you deserve to stand like standing the immortal rock as of giant stone and able to reach the sky and break the golden chain left behind. the world is so smaller than the biggest of your dreams, you have all the goodness to wipe out the bad, be brave to stand a firm and courageous to be you, standing you is an eternal faithful to your shadow, stand the world of darkness but the light all over shining delight in your face, the world is full of lies but you are the whole truth insight,The world is full of sorrows of loneliness but the real happiness is on your face, the sacrifice is even greater behind, but it's so smaller than the bigger ambition you holding on your hand, tomorrow you stand up to face the world raise up your hand to hold the medal globe of victory which you fulfil your golden love story behind.