10/8/2013

Hey

Ive been away for quite a while, seriously missing my new found family here at Hello Poetry...kind of going through some personal, professional and financial challenges as we all do...I've allowed those that dont mean me well the "temporary" victory...and even felt like giving up and throwing in the towel at one point (but not quite to the point of death)...but I feel that we all reach this point at least one time in a life time of many experiences whether good or bad. I haven't had the desire to write or express myself because I am stuck and wallowing in my own self pity and despair, depleted of strength. Some have caused me great malice, and up until this point I've resisted to the impulses and feelings to lash out...back, against them, but a person can only take so much and I know that violence only begats violence, and ignorance, ignorance, so please...can someone, anyone...revive me, resusitate me...and just breathe life into these dry bones that have become shallow and empty with thoughts of anger, frustration, doubt, procratination and guilt...just shoot me a few words of encouragement...lift me up...I will surely pay it forward when I regain my strength and confidence...for I AM NOT a quitter....selah

~Dwayne~

Pain begats pain begats mo pain
series, succession. string, sequence
-a chain
I'd like to pretend that I was surprised
but I cannot feign
-ignorance
woven intricately into the fabric that is me
-it courses through my veins

I realize that it sounds inane
maybe even a little insane
but it is what it is
and what it is  
-is a stain

It's so hard to abstain
from feeling and inflicting this pain
this same pain that's been ingrained
from the generations before
-they opened that door and
lacked the knowledge or strength to obtain
the necessary tools to annihilate and decimate
the entrance into things
that would
devastate, level and obliterate
their children and their children and their children and
-my children

On my campaign to feel less pain
I entertain the demons
Mary Jane and *******
In my inebriated state, I was unable to ascertain
the damage that I'd added to my heart and brain

Nothing eased the pain or the shame
All that I had left was the pain
the pain
the pain

So, there I stood
beating my chest and screaming toward heaven
...praying for rain...

Adam and Eve lived here
before she went vegan
and chomped the wrong apple
dropping them both into deep schtuck
with a difficult learning curve
before they got up to speed
as our progenitors
and began begetting.

With only two to start with
there had to have been a lot of ******
with begats here and begats there
and still, the gene pool stayed clean
without fits and starts
so there must have been a Divine Profiler
in the sky keeping the books straight
with our future at stake.

But there is a question?
In the beginning there were only two
so was Adam the midwife
and if so
where did he learn the skills
the whole midwifery bit
the gentle initial slap
to get the first wail ever on this earth

Interesting theological
and philosophical thoughts
not even thinking
about baby clothes
and the like
I suppose breastfeeding
was a must before Baby Formula

Deep thoughts for Easter