I dove off the side of the boat,
slowly drowned in the blues and greens of the ocean waves but
happily and with madness holding
me up to the surface.
Striving to swim to shore,
the sands of time grinds at my bones, scraping at my mind like monsters clawing under the bed.
Reality shook, it shakes me
to the bone, brittle skin
its furry burns deep within.
I barely made it out alive,
many a time I’ve been betrayed
barried by strife and I bleed
from its sharp knife, I wear the wounds, as it stabs and
swiped at my life.
The monstrous madness grew into
the darkest moments, reaching for my weekend mind as a shadowed monster devouring the light.
It broke my heart and
stole happiness.
I fought for release,
I fought with faith,
I fought for freedom
to find contentment
within my life.
I grew, I grew out of my strife.
I found the future is always
beside me, like an old friend
guiding me.
© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
I was born with mental health issues but I am a testament for the survival of mental illness. I was suicidal and wanted to be released from the struggles I suffered from. I am lucky I was stronger and I love people more than I wanted to die. I used my passion for expression and my love for you to fight to show you you are strong enough to survive this world just like I do. I want to see you prosper so I have to fight this to show you. We are all capable of being awesome and strong. I know from experience. I have climbed mountains and walked through the fire for you. I bare my scars proudly and loud so you can hear and see what power we have over our lives. Together we are strong. Be proud to be you. I love you. All of you give me a reason to live and God gave me freedom and knowledge to survive.