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"balled" poems
for Susan O'Neill Roe What a thrill ---- My thumb instead of an onion. The top quite gone Except for a sort of hinge Of skin, A flap like a hat, Dead white. Then that red plush. Little pilgrim, The Indian's axed your scalp. Your turkey wattle Carpet rolls Straight from the heart. I step on it, Clutching my bottle Of pink fizz. A celebration, this is. Out of a gap A million soldiers run, Redcoats, every one. Whose side are they one? O my Homunculus, I am ill. I have taken a pill to **** The thin Papery feeling. Saboteur, Kamikaze man ---- The stain on your Gauze Ku Klux **** Babushka Darkens and tarnishes and when The balled Pulp of your heart Confronts its small Mill of silence How you jump ---- Trepanned veteran, ***** girl, Thumb stump.
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23.5k
Cut
No Romance, just the way you liked it. Just the way You ripped off Your dress And left me to romanticize it balled up on my floor Just the way you teased and denied my poetic soul You said it felt so foreign Like you were never worthy of the prose You left me Writhing and Alone and I know you know You’re not perfect I just wanted you to feel like a goddess I worshiped beyond words even if you didn't believe in something. Believe me, I did my best not to be bitter But your cynicism was never **** No one cares What you don't Like You would look into the Grand Canyon and just see a void. Avoiding the obviously numinous Like where your heart was Before it was split with a river streaming your constantly pessimistic consciousness. Maybe I was too sweet finishing last like a nice guy that you just left salty To slide down the throat of your thesis statement: NO ROMANCE
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Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 12:35 AM UTC
No Romance
Balled and rolled But never been told What was once tied Will set loose and die
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Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 4:16 PM UTC
Shoe Lace
Your voice got louder My words were hissed I should've known You would get ****** Adrenaline balled up In the palm of my fist I simply can't take Much more of this I knew it from the start That this wouldn't last Now I just want out Real fuckin' fast You're so **** controlling Your tight hold on the reins I really fuckin' hate you I feel it in my veins Don't accuse me of **** That I didn't do But I don't argue anymore You won't see my view I broke away from your hold You don't control me I can do what I want I'm finally free
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Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 10:02 PM UTC
**** You
This is winter, this is night, small love -- A sort of black horsehair, A rough, dumb country stuff Steeled with the sheen Of what green stars can make it to our gate. I hold you on my arm. It is very late. The dull bells tongue the hour. The mirror floats us at one candle power. This is the fluid in which we meet each other, This haloey radiance that seems to breathe And lets our shadows wither Only to blow Them huge again, violent giants on the wall. One match scratch makes you real. At first the candle will not bloom at all -- It snuffs its bud To almost nothing, to a dull blue dud. I hold my breath until you creak to life, Balled hedgehog, Small and cross. The yellow knife Grows tall. You clutch your bars. My singing makes you roar. I rock you like a boat Across the Indian carpet, the cold floor, While the brass man Kneels, back bent, as best he can Hefting his white pillar with the light That keeps the sky at bay, The sack of black! It is everywhere, tight, tight! He is yours, the little brassy Atlas -- Poor heirloom, all you have, At his heels a pile of five brass cannonballs, No child, no wife. Five ***** Five bright brass ***** To juggle with, my love, when the sky falls.
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9k
By Candlelight
We were the mystery We were the shaking of heads We were the whispers in the bathroom at 11 am We were the smoke in the hallways We were the leaves catching on air currents like "I don't care how or why but I'm going somewhere" We were balled up bills in the crook of someone's sweaty Xanax palm We were the lamps at night burning We were the lasers on the ceiling We were the lines of chemicals waiting on the counter We were nothing good nothing but mud and regrets on our feet The teachers shook their heads wondered to themselves how we ever got to sleep
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Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 8:39 PM UTC
Bed
this is where i sit like stone, knowing soon it shall be over, all balled up and all alone, wreathed in sickly crimson clover; in a corner cold and stark, where the pressure chokes my chest, my mind's eye fizzles into dark, i cannot eat nor find sweet rest. i no longer see the pathways, where i have strolled past fields of pain, cloaked in shadowed sunless days, walking weary in the chilling rains; of torrid teardrops that always fail to fall, stuck inside behind my bloodshot eyes, between sight and dreams i scarce recall, haunted by the sounds of ghostly cries. i no longer feel the passions, i had once did cling, for there no longer comes a need to rise, or open my mouth to sing. ____ I sit: http://beautyineverything.com/175543419
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Oct 17, 2010
Oct 17, 2010 at 7:23 PM UTC
this is where i sit
Fists balled. Throat dry. Coming down from a high. Crash and fall. Spring nights. Coming down from a high.
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Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 10:53 PM UTC
High
Visualize me, With clenched teeth and balled up fists. Get the **** away.
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Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 2:52 AM UTC
The Anger
Yo soy ***** **** immigration and the racist white tèjanõs, please tell me how the hell would they ever know what I know, shout out to my Mexicans Hondurans and black Cubanos shut the border down call it the no fly zone. Adios Americanos me and my amigos are stealing ya women and playin em like pianos, vocal terrorist this lyrical revolt should be your primary interest. Public enemy number one the domestic hectic terrorist I'm influencing your white son, right to bear these nuts I'm taking the tea parties guns stealing your freedom from right up under you, all your jobs, and way of life, your point of view. I'm the original black power ranger hide your right winged minds if not I swear they'll be in danger. I am the broken brick the stone left unturned the rhythm of the wind the willingness to learn and the desire to fight and get what you earn. I am the individual placed on the no fly list with my hand balled into a fist cause my turbin is too tight and my beards to thick. I am the man choked to death by nypd for selling cigarettes now I'm rioting with my words doing lyrical pirouettes. Yo soy ***** spitting jive like lingo I want a Pam Grier keep your Marilyn Monroe, from the 6th borough buckin like bronco they said finish em I'm educated and black had to hit em with the combo. I'm non fictions Huey Freeman battling congress and their demons catch me flexing on the law lookin like the black He-Man Standing up for what I believe in writing in my notepad I stay steady schemin with my head up in the clouds I stay steady dreamin. Yo soy ***** freeze em like sub zero not concerned with dolores or the dinero yen or bills yo, I'm still waiting for marvel to make a Mexican superhero.
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Dec 25, 2014
Dec 25, 2014 at 11:05 AM UTC
*****
Yo soy ***** **** immigration and the racist white tèjanõs, please tell me how the hell would they ever know what I know, shout out to my Mexicans Hondurans and black Cubanos shut the border down call it the no fly zone. Adios Americanos me and my amigos are stealing ya women and playin em like pianos, vocal terrorist this lyrical revolt should be your primary interest. Public enemy number one the domestic hectic terrorist I'm influencing your white son, right to bear these nuts I'm taking the tea parties guns stealing your freedom from right up under you, all your jobs, and way of life, your point of view. I'm the original black power ranger hide your right winged minds if not I swear they'll be in danger. I am the broken brick the stone left unturned the rhythm of the wind the willingness to learn and the desire to fight and get what you earn. I am the individual placed on the no fly list with my hand balled into a fist cause my turbin is too tight and my beards to thick. I am the man choked to death by nypd for selling cigarettes now I'm rioting with my words doing lyrical pirouettes. Yo soy ***** spitting jive like lingo I want a Pam Grier keep your Marilyn Monroe, from the 6th borough buckin like bronco they said finish em I'm educated and black had to hit em with the combo. I'm non fictions Huey Freeman battling congress and their demons catch me flexing on the law lookin like the black He-Man Standing up for what I believe in writing in my notepad I stay steady schemin with my head up in the clouds I stay steady dreamin. Yo soy ***** freeze em like sub zero not concerned with dolores or the dinero yen or bills yo, I'm still waiting for marvel to make a Mexican superhero.
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2
Two, of course there are two. It seems perfectly natural now—— The one who never looks up, whose eyes are lidded And balled¸ like Blake's. Who exhibits The birthmarks that are his trademark—— The scald scar of water, The **** Verdigris of the condor. I am red meat. His beak Claps sidewise: I am not his yet. He tells me how badly I photograph. He tells me how sweet The babies look in their hospital Icebox, a simple Frill at the neck Then the flutings of their Ionian Death-gowns. Then two little feet. He does not smile or smoke. The other does that His hair long and plausive ******* ************ a glitter He wants to be loved. I do not stir. The frost makes a flower, The dew makes a star, The dead bell, The dead bell. Somebody's done for.
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6.2k
Death & Co.
*** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand and he said to the man running the stand... "HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ***** The man said "Go away you filthy perv." "Cocktails is all I've ever served!" "Why don't you take a hike?" The Cuck said "Go ***** a **** The he strutted away! [struttin' struttin'] He gotta get paid! [by the hour] Gotta go to work! [at Trump Tower] ... 'Til the very next day. *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand and he slapped his **** onto the stand... "HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ******* The man balled his fists and said... "Why don't you go get a pocket toy and ***** that you filthy pervert who can't get laid so he comes and bothers the cocktail man because he has no game! How about you go to another bar and stop acting LAME!" The Cuck said "Your sister wasn't lame." Then he zipped up his pants [waddle waddle] as he strutted away [got the zipper stuck] but that's all okay [showing off the package] Till the very next day. *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand and he said to the man running the stand... "HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ****** The man got ****** then he started to smile. "Come on, fellow! I bet you haven't had ***** in a while." Then they strutted away [my **** itches] but that's okay [they don't care they're ******* watch out for snitches [shut yo **** mouth] 'Till they arrived at the trap house *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] "Here you go sir, she'll make your **** stir She's even got a sister you can **** next to her!" The Cuck's mind began to go.... "How about.... no!" "But I like this place... It makes my heart race... and it would bring me joy.... it would make my day... do you think we could... do you THINK we could... double team your wife so you don't have to pay?!" Then he scrambled away! [zipping up his pants] The man was angry in a trance! [hope he tied his shoes] He even left the ***** [why'd you do that] Instead he ******* the Cat. *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
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Jan 4, 2017
Jan 4, 2017 at 9:43 PM UTC
The Cuck Song -- A Duck Song Parody [NSFW]
*** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand and he said to the man running the stand... "HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ***** The man said "Go away you filthy perv." "Cocktails is all I've ever served!" "Why don't you take a hike?" The Cuck said "Go ***** a **** The he strutted away! [struttin' struttin'] He gotta get paid! [by the hour] Gotta go to work! [at Trump Tower] ... 'Til the very next day. *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand and he slapped his **** onto the stand... "HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ******* The man balled his fists and said... "Why don't you go get a pocket toy and ***** that you filthy pervert who can't get laid so he comes and bothers the cocktail man because he has no game! How about you go to another bar and stop acting LAME!" The Cuck said "Your sister wasn't lame." Then he zipped up his pants [waddle waddle] as he strutted away [got the zipper stuck] but that's all okay [showing off the package] Till the very next day. *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand and he said to the man running the stand... "HEY!" *** *** *** "Got any ****** The man got ****** then he started to smile. "Come on, fellow! I bet you haven't had ***** in a while." Then they strutted away [my **** itches] but that's okay [they don't care they're ******* watch out for snitches [shut yo **** mouth] 'Till they arrived at the trap house *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum] "Here you go sir, she'll make your **** stir She's even got a sister you can **** next to her!" The Cuck's mind began to go.... "How about.... no!" "But I like this place... It makes my heart race... and it would bring me joy.... it would make my day... do you think we could... do you THINK we could... double team your wife so you don't have to pay?!" Then he scrambled away! [zipping up his pants] The man was angry in a trance! [hope he tied his shoes] He even left the ***** [why'd you do that] Instead he ******* the Cat. *** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
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51
sometimes when i am trapped inside my own mind and feel like i’m drowning in the taste of air, suddenly i am eight years old years, bobbing up and down in my wimpy life jacket my legs unsupported and there is still a chip on my shoulder a mile wide. sometimes i am still the five year old who balled her eyes out when her parents accidentally forgot and were late picking her up from preschool, sometimes i am still sixteen years old and in love with you sometimes i am a person i never thought i’d manage to grow into, sometimes i am a person i’ve yet to become.    i am juxtaposition of a thousand different versions of myself. i am equally the eight year old girl still afraid of the water as i am the almost-adult you so naively believed to be fearless, my self-assurance a really good halloween costume. i am a newborn at the same time as i am frail ninety year old grandmother. i am brave and i am terrified and i am naive and i am jaded and i am clean and i am ruined; i am a blank slate and i have been scribbled all over, my skin is smooth and untouched my skin has laughter lines and stretch marks. i am the creator and i am the destroyer, i am everything and nothing at all. i am the ocean and i am the desert. my lungs are failing as i’m breathing fine, and i can see the end and the beginning in equal clarity. sometimes i’m too old for my skin, weary like i’ve lived a thousand lives already and sometimes i am four years old with my knees hugged to my chest. sometimes we are two and sometimes we are twenty, sometimes we were nine and sometimes we are ninety. we are young and dumb and reckless at the same time as we are old and wise and careful. sometimes my father is still a gap-toothed five year old and my mother is still a tired old woman with shaking hands, and my brother is still an angry teenager with a bad hair cut. we are existing simultaneously and growing up is just getting really good at pretending that you’ve got your **** all figured out when you still feel like a lonely middle-schooler without a date to the mixer, alone in the middle to gymnasium floor. but that’s the thing, isn’t it? when you are cut open, when you are bleeding, when you have gaping holes in your nervous system your flesh heals over it scars, brand new. we are bleeding and we we are healed, we are ******* up and we are doing just fine.
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Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 10:49 AM UTC
“we are tucked inside ourselves like russian nesting dolls”
sometimes when i am trapped inside my own mind and feel like i’m drowning in the taste of air, suddenly i am eight years old years, bobbing up and down in my wimpy life jacket my legs unsupported and there is still a chip on my shoulder a mile wide. sometimes i am still the five year old who balled her eyes out when her parents accidentally forgot and were late picking her up from preschool, sometimes i am still sixteen years old and in love with you sometimes i am a person i never thought i’d manage to grow into, sometimes i am a person i’ve yet to become.    i am juxtaposition of a thousand different versions of myself. i am equally the eight year old girl still afraid of the water as i am the almost-adult you so naively believed to be fearless, my self-assurance a really good halloween costume. i am a newborn at the same time as i am frail ninety year old grandmother. i am brave and i am terrified and i am naive and i am jaded and i am clean and i am ruined; i am a blank slate and i have been scribbled all over, my skin is smooth and untouched my skin has laughter lines and stretch marks. i am the creator and i am the destroyer, i am everything and nothing at all. i am the ocean and i am the desert. my lungs are failing as i’m breathing fine, and i can see the end and the beginning in equal clarity. sometimes i’m too old for my skin, weary like i’ve lived a thousand lives already and sometimes i am four years old with my knees hugged to my chest. sometimes we are two and sometimes we are twenty, sometimes we were nine and sometimes we are ninety. we are young and dumb and reckless at the same time as we are old and wise and careful. sometimes my father is still a gap-toothed five year old and my mother is still a tired old woman with shaking hands, and my brother is still an angry teenager with a bad hair cut. we are existing simultaneously and growing up is just getting really good at pretending that you’ve got your **** all figured out when you still feel like a lonely middle-schooler without a date to the mixer, alone in the middle to gymnasium floor. but that’s the thing, isn’t it? when you are cut open, when you are bleeding, when you have gaping holes in your nervous system your flesh heals over it scars, brand new. we are bleeding and we we are healed, we are ******* up and we are doing just fine.
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58
all day long, their banging disturbed me at my work startling me from my reverie, lost deep in the world of I Wish I Had A Heart Like Yours, Walt Whitman the birds, returned early from wherever it is they hide during the long winter, have come to fling themselves against the over-sized picture window in my living room, songbird pitch themselves into my poet's dull daytime so that i am moved to rise from my desk, to look out, to seek a bird flying away, or peer down to search for the tiny body maybe roosting among the stalks of the overgrown hydrangea, which captured  autumn’s maple leaves, worn like a Chicago matron's mink to keep the winter chill at bay and, as the spring surrenders to the warmer days, i mow the brightly greened grass, innocently cutting row after row, to turn finally to the narrow strip nearest the picture window, a mixture of grass, dried leaves and tiny twigs, all mulched by the power mower, where i discover these dessicated bodies   exhumed from shallow graves at the base of the newly leafed hydrangea, their stiff, dry feathers bristly, colored a washed out grey, tiny feet tightly balled, with all the soft parts missing and the beaks a startling white, as though bleached, bright against the dullness of the little corpses which seem to have sunk into the mosses of the yard, so that they lay preserved below the blade for the first late-spring chore -- mowing the bird bone garden i sleep with the bedroom window ajar despite the overnight chill and dream of the memory of birds, their shapes, their white beaks and, still, the bird songs wake me in the cool green spring morning
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May 18, 2012
May 18, 2012 at 8:56 AM UTC
mowing the bird bone garden
all day long, their banging disturbed me at my work startling me from my reverie, lost deep in the world of I Wish I Had A Heart Like Yours, Walt Whitman the birds, returned early from wherever it is they hide during the long winter, have come to fling themselves against the over-sized picture window in my living room, songbird pitch themselves into my poet's dull daytime so that i am moved to rise from my desk, to look out, to seek a bird flying away, or peer down to search for the tiny body maybe roosting among the stalks of the overgrown hydrangea, which captured  autumn’s maple leaves, worn like a Chicago matron's mink to keep the winter chill at bay and, as the spring surrenders to the warmer days, i mow the brightly greened grass, innocently cutting row after row, to turn finally to the narrow strip nearest the picture window, a mixture of grass, dried leaves and tiny twigs, all mulched by the power mower, where i discover these dessicated bodies   exhumed from shallow graves at the base of the newly leafed hydrangea, their stiff, dry feathers bristly, colored a washed out grey, tiny feet tightly balled, with all the soft parts missing and the beaks a startling white, as though bleached, bright against the dullness of the little corpses which seem to have sunk into the mosses of the yard, so that they lay preserved below the blade for the first late-spring chore -- mowing the bird bone garden i sleep with the bedroom window ajar despite the overnight chill and dream of the memory of birds, their shapes, their white beaks and, still, the bird songs wake me in the cool green spring morning
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27
i just want to disappear get a chance to eat the warming scones from the oven and just melt away in stars and sky of navy and grey; i just want to disappear to fly and to leave anywhere i want or desire or dream; i'm dreaming of melting away from where i am for i am floating already, why can't i just disintegrate altogether; altogether yes a distant memory; forever alone isn't something you would think of until it actually happens; although it's not something you realize unless you've tried love and and been scared, afraid of what the person on the other end of the letters is thinking; i just want to disappear far away into the hands of someone who cares not just about my picture but my pulse, someone who looks not just at my eyes but at each individual colouring strand inside my plain brown eyes; i just want to disappear so no one will have to face my retched thoughts and unattainable dreams; i just want to disappear so my friends won't have to look at a scared                             pathetic                                    unhappy                                           awkward lonely person and have sympathy for me if they even do; which if i were on the outside of my slinky body i wouldn't; i wouldn't just want to leave but disappear for it seems that it's what i'm best at; i just want to disappear from my picturesque world that you couldn't even take a nice picture in; i just want to disappear from my ocean of held back tear, my shield of fearlessness, a fake smile that a murderer would wear, the impression i have on the other lives of people, and just i just want to disappear, to run away, and to not have to cause any drama or half broken feelings to anyone, to not correct people for their non-existent flaws that are really my own personal balled up feelings; i just want to disappear, fly away into the clouds and heavens of an unreal dream; i just want to, i just want to disappear, disappear away fly away and never come back never have my flimsy feet touch the beautiful ground never let my ruined soul harm a single cell of anyone worth anything to a single thing; i just want to disappear i just want to disappea i just want to disap i just want i just i - nameless and remaining
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Oct 23, 2018
Oct 23, 2018 at 3:27 PM UTC
ghost
i just want to disappear get a chance to eat the warming scones from the oven and just melt away in stars and sky of navy and grey; i just want to disappear to fly and to leave anywhere i want or desire or dream; i'm dreaming of melting away from where i am for i am floating already, why can't i just disintegrate altogether; altogether yes a distant memory; forever alone isn't something you would think of until it actually happens; although it's not something you realize unless you've tried love and and been scared, afraid of what the person on the other end of the letters is thinking; i just want to disappear far away into the hands of someone who cares not just about my picture but my pulse, someone who looks not just at my eyes but at each individual colouring strand inside my plain brown eyes; i just want to disappear so no one will have to face my retched thoughts and unattainable dreams; i just want to disappear so my friends won't have to look at a scared                             pathetic                                    unhappy                                           awkward lonely person and have sympathy for me if they even do; which if i were on the outside of my slinky body i wouldn't; i wouldn't just want to leave but disappear for it seems that it's what i'm best at; i just want to disappear from my picturesque world that you couldn't even take a nice picture in; i just want to disappear from my ocean of held back tear, my shield of fearlessness, a fake smile that a murderer would wear, the impression i have on the other lives of people, and just i just want to disappear, to run away, and to not have to cause any drama or half broken feelings to anyone, to not correct people for their non-existent flaws that are really my own personal balled up feelings; i just want to disappear, fly away into the clouds and heavens of an unreal dream; i just want to, i just want to disappear, disappear away fly away and never come back never have my flimsy feet touch the beautiful ground never let my ruined soul harm a single cell of anyone worth anything to a single thing; i just want to disappear i just want to disappea i just want to disap i just want i just i - nameless and remaining
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68
*As ***** as a three balled tomcat Very ***** Very full of ****** desire* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You can fake that loud sound during *** However, no need to fake that sound With your first meal of the day Oh so yummy! Oh, so hungry for that touch So here I am as ***** as a three balled tomcat What if everything were revealed about my whereabouts Especially last night, was I somnambulism? It’s time to get myself together. I was all over the place I have to channel my energy today into something useful; I have to stay soulful, I have to stay focused I might be a night walker However, If a man awakes the sleeping tigress within He better be ready to calm its wicked, wicked ways A woman isn’t complete without the Amen, hallelujah, thank be to glory moments As she reaches the maximum of her Amazing, mind and body-blowing experience I have to challenge them… did I lose my self-respect? My midnight blue satin dress Someone said that it’s a wicked, wicked tease I know that it controls my every mood Staying ahead of the curves, surveying the scenery Swaying down the Avenue living dangerously Down where the palm trees sway against the breeze Here I am as ***** as a three balled tomcat. but I can surely make the bad boys good for the weekend
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Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 8:59 AM UTC
As ***** as a three balled tomcat
She's tapped into another realm Sitting on top of the world Resonating the astral plane At least in my mind She's above me So divine A crown wrapped in flowers and gold Diamonds in the sky Cut through the noise and crack down to shatter the Earth Looking pretty amongst the chaos She catches my eyes to bring the temptation of the Goddess Always within reach but afraid to touch to release Let go of everything This is where our souls intertwined The tango of our 9-5 Looking forward to breaks in reality Our survival mechanisms From the bottom to top Where her crown connects realms of telepathic foreplay A mindfuck of sorts Black and blue balled by the true cowardliness of reality.
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Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 4:03 PM UTC
Telepathic Foreplay
Maroon, crimson, dark red. Whatever color you want to call it, it sits balled in front of me on my old bedside table. You want it back because it has "sentimental value," your brother bought it for you before he went off to the military and it cost him seventy dollars. On the top shelf of my current bedside table, at the back, hidden from light, from sight, sits the ring you bought me that cost over two hundred dollars, the ring that signified a promise that you swore you'd keep. You asked if it bothered me to have, if it hurt, and I told you that it didn't. You said that I should keep it. You say the hoodie has sentimental value but I sit here with a ring of mineral, real diamond centered on its band, coveted only by the box you presented it to me in when you tricked me into finding it, when you told me you'd love me until the day that you died. The ring that later represented not only our connection, our relationship, but our engagement that I hear you're denying ever happened. You did not ask for the ring back. You never said that it held "sentimental value," but your seventy dollar hoodie from the brother who has given you fear to be touched by unprecedented betrayal, does. I cannot help but wonder how you are not bothered by an item that once held such meaning no longer being in your possession. I cannot help but wonder why you have not mentioned it. I cannot help but wonder if you hear a certain artist in the car, or with friends, and think of me but do not say anything in fear of making a scene. I cannot help but wonder if you are still in love with me. If a hoodie can hold such sentimental value and the ring you proposed to me with does not, did the words " I love you " mean less than " I'm trying to get over you " when you said them within a week of one another? Am I never meant to know? I fear I am not privileged enough to know whether or not these words, these things that have passed through my life were ever meant to mean more than a cool March night of lying on the roof of your car, staring at the constellations and wishing to be with you forever when I saw the shooting stars. I fear that I am no longer privileged to say no one knows you like I do. You said you wanted your hoodie back, and I told you that I found it. You said you'd find my clothes as soon as possible and I told you to take your time. I told you not to push yourself too hard. I didn't want you to hurt anymore. I don't know what to do with your hoodie, though. It's moving from my bed, to dresser, to bedside table to bed to dresser to bedside table and I wake and see it and think of you and I wonder if I should put it on when I go for a walk because it's warmer than anything else that I own, but I don't, because it has sentimental value. I do not.
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May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 10:27 PM UTC
Hoodie
Maroon, crimson, dark red. Whatever color you want to call it, it sits balled in front of me on my old bedside table. You want it back because it has "sentimental value," your brother bought it for you before he went off to the military and it cost him seventy dollars. On the top shelf of my current bedside table, at the back, hidden from light, from sight, sits the ring you bought me that cost over two hundred dollars, the ring that signified a promise that you swore you'd keep. You asked if it bothered me to have, if it hurt, and I told you that it didn't. You said that I should keep it. You say the hoodie has sentimental value but I sit here with a ring of mineral, real diamond centered on its band, coveted only by the box you presented it to me in when you tricked me into finding it, when you told me you'd love me until the day that you died. The ring that later represented not only our connection, our relationship, but our engagement that I hear you're denying ever happened. You did not ask for the ring back. You never said that it held "sentimental value," but your seventy dollar hoodie from the brother who has given you fear to be touched by unprecedented betrayal, does. I cannot help but wonder how you are not bothered by an item that once held such meaning no longer being in your possession. I cannot help but wonder why you have not mentioned it. I cannot help but wonder if you hear a certain artist in the car, or with friends, and think of me but do not say anything in fear of making a scene. I cannot help but wonder if you are still in love with me. If a hoodie can hold such sentimental value and the ring you proposed to me with does not, did the words " I love you " mean less than " I'm trying to get over you " when you said them within a week of one another? Am I never meant to know? I fear I am not privileged enough to know whether or not these words, these things that have passed through my life were ever meant to mean more than a cool March night of lying on the roof of your car, staring at the constellations and wishing to be with you forever when I saw the shooting stars. I fear that I am no longer privileged to say no one knows you like I do. You said you wanted your hoodie back, and I told you that I found it. You said you'd find my clothes as soon as possible and I told you to take your time. I told you not to push yourself too hard. I didn't want you to hurt anymore. I don't know what to do with your hoodie, though. It's moving from my bed, to dresser, to bedside table to bed to dresser to bedside table and I wake and see it and think of you and I wonder if I should put it on when I go for a walk because it's warmer than anything else that I own, but I don't, because it has sentimental value. I do not.
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63
Big Four Railroad In the past a little one had an interest in this story and one of the racers and the longest freight train The race team was in the living room and their story was being read from the paper mother clueless We laughed and snickered about our secret that old engineer was proud of us we were not vain Down the hill we sped past Bino’s station across Jackson the B&O; he was high balling we had to pour it On between the two tracks he was closing the gap he had nothing to lose but his pride for us it was Curtains the long black limo a one way ride we streaked the line fifteen feet to spare we just stopped And turned what a salutation from the engineer half hanging out the widow of that great engine his Balled fist a shaking you sons with the deafening roar of that train so close we didn’t get to hear the rest And the train carried him on down the track so Jerry and Larry and the other guy continued on to the Swimming pool pleased with our speed we forgot about it until on the front of the paper in the bottom corner it read three Pana youths out run train I guess the old engineer cooled off as he sailed on down The track we didn’t know he talked to the tower as he passed so we didn’t get first prize or a blue Ribbon but in a small way we entered into the great and wonderful tales of train lore along with Jessie and Frank I told you when in trouble I had three actions fight talk or run that day the running won the Day for these three amigos this memory was triggered by that same old paper this time it was talking About the Amtrak detour I remember those passengers all those years ago setting there in their seats flying through our town and the hook and the mail sack from the tower where that old bakery could be smelled all night all the way out at the park as we watched tables for old F.S. Refinery I’m glad we didn’t race a passenger train or this would be a hamburger story enjoy G.H.
0
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012 at 11:53 PM UTC
Big Four Railroad
Big Four Railroad In the past a little one had an interest in this story and one of the racers and the longest freight train The race team was in the living room and their story was being read from the paper mother clueless We laughed and snickered about our secret that old engineer was proud of us we were not vain Down the hill we sped past Bino’s station across Jackson the B&O; he was high balling we had to pour it On between the two tracks he was closing the gap he had nothing to lose but his pride for us it was Curtains the long black limo a one way ride we streaked the line fifteen feet to spare we just stopped And turned what a salutation from the engineer half hanging out the widow of that great engine his Balled fist a shaking you sons with the deafening roar of that train so close we didn’t get to hear the rest And the train carried him on down the track so Jerry and Larry and the other guy continued on to the Swimming pool pleased with our speed we forgot about it until on the front of the paper in the bottom corner it read three Pana youths out run train I guess the old engineer cooled off as he sailed on down The track we didn’t know he talked to the tower as he passed so we didn’t get first prize or a blue Ribbon but in a small way we entered into the great and wonderful tales of train lore along with Jessie and Frank I told you when in trouble I had three actions fight talk or run that day the running won the Day for these three amigos this memory was triggered by that same old paper this time it was talking About the Amtrak detour I remember those passengers all those years ago setting there in their seats flying through our town and the hook and the mail sack from the tower where that old bakery could be smelled all night all the way out at the park as we watched tables for old F.S. Refinery I’m glad we didn’t race a passenger train or this would be a hamburger story enjoy G.H.
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20
Some people think that as an Adult I can be a tad rough Rock solid skin But as a Child I was exponentially Worse Kicked Screamed Cried Teased Scratched A walking terror My father deemed me "Crab-Apple Lynn" The neighbors would Whisper Of that horrid five-year-old Girl That would push and Tackle The boys down the street And on the night That I kicked my Brother's friend in the Groin And he tumbled Down the stairs Word spread like Wildfire That Crab-Apple Had struck again Notorious bully Walking with balled fists Kicking over Lincoln Logs Smashing Play-Doh sculptures Sneezing purposefully Spewing out green phlegm And wiping the boogers On fellow peers Half-grinning At their cries Feared by all But respect Was the one thing The miniature version of Me Could not earn And despite my youth Despite the over-sized chip on my shoulder Tiny me Found a way To flip around Turn a leaf Turn a page Turn a head Completely change Altogether And suddenly Crab-Apple disappeared And Sarah grew in View It was as though Somehow, someway The little me knew that Fear is worthless
0
Oct 10, 2010
Oct 10, 2010 at 9:55 PM UTC
Crab-Apple
1. That thing she did. It was so innocuous, so accidental, so minor, yet it awakened you. It consumes your headspace. Follows you through hours and days. Makes appearances in your dreams, kissing the edges of your mind. Because of it, you know what it feels like to want someone so much you grow a second heart. Such a gesture should be easily forgotten, but you can’t forget the belly-rolling starburst of it, the oh. That thing she did, it told you who you are. In one split-second act. It grabbed you by the collar, looked you in the eye, and said her. It’s her. Are you brave enough to listen? 2. You want to feign your own fall just so she will lean over you, blocking the sky, beautiful and concentrated. So she will hold your wrist and feel for your rabbit pulse. So you can blink up at her with an excuse for not looking away. 3. She’s sitting there sketching a tree in the margin of her notebook, and she is a miracle. You would die for her. The thought startles you. You want to kiss her, want it savagely, which startles you, too. Your hands stay balled in your lap, half-clenched and trembling. 4. You move and it’s just enough to push the two of you together. Which is, god, the best thing you have ever felt. She draws her eyes toward you with the soft look that takes you out every time. Her arm is pressing yours, solid and warm. You flush and can’t understand why, but you should. That blush knows everything you haven’t yet figured out. 5. You watch her when she leaves, always. You can’t help it. She’s furiously lovely, so much your chest is sore at the sight of her. She hurts you, this girl. She moves you.
0
Jan 17, 2016
Jan 17, 2016 at 12:46 PM UTC
5 times I was in love and didn't know it
1. That thing she did. It was so innocuous, so accidental, so minor, yet it awakened you. It consumes your headspace. Follows you through hours and days. Makes appearances in your dreams, kissing the edges of your mind. Because of it, you know what it feels like to want someone so much you grow a second heart. Such a gesture should be easily forgotten, but you can’t forget the belly-rolling starburst of it, the oh. That thing she did, it told you who you are. In one split-second act. It grabbed you by the collar, looked you in the eye, and said her. It’s her. Are you brave enough to listen? 2. You want to feign your own fall just so she will lean over you, blocking the sky, beautiful and concentrated. So she will hold your wrist and feel for your rabbit pulse. So you can blink up at her with an excuse for not looking away. 3. She’s sitting there sketching a tree in the margin of her notebook, and she is a miracle. You would die for her. The thought startles you. You want to kiss her, want it savagely, which startles you, too. Your hands stay balled in your lap, half-clenched and trembling. 4. You move and it’s just enough to push the two of you together. Which is, god, the best thing you have ever felt. She draws her eyes toward you with the soft look that takes you out every time. Her arm is pressing yours, solid and warm. You flush and can’t understand why, but you should. That blush knows everything you haven’t yet figured out. 5. You watch her when she leaves, always. You can’t help it. She’s furiously lovely, so much your chest is sore at the sight of her. She hurts you, this girl. She moves you.
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5
Nero: Deep cover another 187 on these hoes with my flows ya know I riddle like little Italy Punisher life Frank castle I slice ******* up like cattle I'm a lover but undercover like Eddie Griffin my brother I'll slice up ******* and leave they men in the trunk nervous with trauma twitches I'll cement up your shoes I'll use my pen to get the message to you headless hunters I'll be the soul edge and slice the heavens asunder I can feel it in my head and soul I'll reap with the flow and grow the flowers on the tombstone I'll make ya ***** moan and groan while I **** her in your stead while she gives me head I'm deciding who's the next to be blessed from the deliverer of death DaSH: Kept the switchblade in a balled up fist Probly ****** Off a lot of ******* But got longer lists Like ******* who tasted blood soon after my ******* gotten licked Threw up on my **** And promptly dipped to get the shotgun grip ***** spit Got me not wantin to work these long *** shifts I know im sick Smell my aroma tell its ebola when I walk up in the room Shut up talking and get a stronger whiff Im the kid who was too demented to have gotten picked For any extra curricular Anyway I was busy plottin how to get to ya Radio waves confuse em make em **** themselves Silly me Billy Madison was happenin And i was in the back with Chris Farley doin smack again Rappers get smacked with used **** pads A ****** ***** Is all I'll ever be in their eyes But in mine, All I see is bodies burning alive
0
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 12:51 AM UTC
187 (Deep Cover/Centurion freestyle) ft. Nero Alucard
Nero: Deep cover another 187 on these hoes with my flows ya know I riddle like little Italy Punisher life Frank castle I slice ******* up like cattle I'm a lover but undercover like Eddie Griffin my brother I'll slice up ******* and leave they men in the trunk nervous with trauma twitches I'll cement up your shoes I'll use my pen to get the message to you headless hunters I'll be the soul edge and slice the heavens asunder I can feel it in my head and soul I'll reap with the flow and grow the flowers on the tombstone I'll make ya ***** moan and groan while I **** her in your stead while she gives me head I'm deciding who's the next to be blessed from the deliverer of death DaSH: Kept the switchblade in a balled up fist Probly ****** Off a lot of ******* But got longer lists Like ******* who tasted blood soon after my ******* gotten licked Threw up on my **** And promptly dipped to get the shotgun grip ***** spit Got me not wantin to work these long *** shifts I know im sick Smell my aroma tell its ebola when I walk up in the room Shut up talking and get a stronger whiff Im the kid who was too demented to have gotten picked For any extra curricular Anyway I was busy plottin how to get to ya Radio waves confuse em make em **** themselves Silly me Billy Madison was happenin And i was in the back with Chris Farley doin smack again Rappers get smacked with used **** pads A ****** ***** Is all I'll ever be in their eyes But in mine, All I see is bodies burning alive
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25
Read, watched, Listened for snippets Wore the buttons, Devoured anything… Apartheid Had my own personal Bedroom Revolution... Jumped high…In place… with the best of them Little balled up fists… Pumping… Chanted the chants Sang the song Freeee-ee Nelson Mandelaaaa Freeee-ee Nelson Mandelaaaa And I meant it! Oh My God I meant it from my young revolutionary soul Cried adolescent girl cries For our South African brothers and sisters All of the martyrs Known and unknown STOP APARTHIED! STOP APARTHIED! Free Nelson Mandela!! To this very day I love me some Nelson Mandela Love the man he is Mourn the man he was Big Fine Educated Pugilistic African Man Passionate Compassionate On that serious mission Who, though technically still breathing upon his release, in reality Gave his life To promote the cessation of An idea more merciless even than the Rwandan genocide In that Death Seldom came quickly A system more sadistic even than the African Slave Trade In that it was not based economically Therefore ALL the “Kaffers” Could be maimed or die And it wouldn’t cost a thing… Monetarily speaking A society wherein Each Black death Someone’s Job… or Someone’s Entertainment Every atrocity’s purpose to serve only to Douse fuel on the already Brightly burning fire of Hate and torture and hate I love Nelson Mandela For making like David And having the ***** To take on the Goliath Apartheid Satan is creative His minions resourceful We will never know the indignities; Can only imagine the violations My Nelson was forced to endure Imprisoned for 27 years I love Nelson Mandela For having the strength To keep living When so many others couldn’t Still able to put One In front of The other Albeit gingerly But still locomoting Out of hell On his own two feet… That alone makes him a hero To me In my heart he will always be The Big Fine Educated Pugilistic Passionate Compassionate Hero That the young revolutionary in me sings about…
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Dec 7, 2013
Dec 7, 2013 at 6:29 PM UTC
Love Me Some Nelson Mandela
Read, watched, Listened for snippets Wore the buttons, Devoured anything… Apartheid Had my own personal Bedroom Revolution... Jumped high…In place… with the best of them Little balled up fists… Pumping… Chanted the chants Sang the song Freeee-ee Nelson Mandelaaaa Freeee-ee Nelson Mandelaaaa And I meant it! Oh My God I meant it from my young revolutionary soul Cried adolescent girl cries For our South African brothers and sisters All of the martyrs Known and unknown STOP APARTHIED! STOP APARTHIED! Free Nelson Mandela!! To this very day I love me some Nelson Mandela Love the man he is Mourn the man he was Big Fine Educated Pugilistic African Man Passionate Compassionate On that serious mission Who, though technically still breathing upon his release, in reality Gave his life To promote the cessation of An idea more merciless even than the Rwandan genocide In that Death Seldom came quickly A system more sadistic even than the African Slave Trade In that it was not based economically Therefore ALL the “Kaffers” Could be maimed or die And it wouldn’t cost a thing… Monetarily speaking A society wherein Each Black death Someone’s Job… or Someone’s Entertainment Every atrocity’s purpose to serve only to Douse fuel on the already Brightly burning fire of Hate and torture and hate I love Nelson Mandela For making like David And having the ***** To take on the Goliath Apartheid Satan is creative His minions resourceful We will never know the indignities; Can only imagine the violations My Nelson was forced to endure Imprisoned for 27 years I love Nelson Mandela For having the strength To keep living When so many others couldn’t Still able to put One In front of The other Albeit gingerly But still locomoting Out of hell On his own two feet… That alone makes him a hero To me In my heart he will always be The Big Fine Educated Pugilistic Passionate Compassionate Hero That the young revolutionary in me sings about…
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91
Your lips were dew-kissed Under the velvety sky The air smelled Of a June rose Dancing in the meadow The sky was studded With twinkling stars Like diamonds and crystals I danced through the mist And waltzed through the trees And balled on the shimmering lake I played my Harp with the Fairies Who showed me the way to Fairyland I came here through the hidden-secret door So now I'm in Fairyland At least I imagine it's so Listening to the Enchanted music Played with the most beautiful Instruments ever Perhaps, even some you've Never heard before Like bluebells kissed in dew Chiming like crystals across the stream Oh, how I'd long to soar And be a Fairy With a Key To Wonderland And to Fairyland Even in illusions I'd love to see this place Called: Fairyland Where all the Fae Folk dwell But this is just A Fantasy Written in the sand ~Marian~
0
Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 4:24 PM UTC
A Fantasy