"backfires" poems
Crushed to death
under falling leaves
Drowned
by torrential rain
scorched by sun,
and fades away,
and never speaks again
the sober simply sickening
sapping all my electricity
the waking under midday light’s
reflecting off the mirror tiles
I placed this all beneath me but
it always ******* backfires
Crushed
under a thousand falling leaves
Drowned
by a million drops of acid rain
scorched by the sun
and fades away,
and never ever speaks again
Shining black, incandescent
watermarks that line the present
and presently I can perceive
a personage, just above me
It speaks nonstop and slowly
and never ever ******* leaves
Crushed
under a thousand falling leaves
Drowned
by a million drops of acid rain
scorched by the sun
and fades away,
and never ever speaks again
crushed to death
and fades away
autumn leaves became a grave
drowned by rain
never speaks again
the undertow of passing waves
the autumn leaves became a grave
the undertow of passing waves.
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 11:47 PM UTC
(Read from the bottom up)
~kns
At the bottom.
Old news.
Dead.
Nothing but deflated.
Now I’m no one.
the sneering planes.
the disdainful clouds,
the sarcastic stars,
The mocking planets
Past the laughing heavens.
I’m falling now.
POP.
It backfires.
Everything.
Every ***** trick.
Every lie.
I use everything I have to get up there.
I struggle.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
I need to go
Yet, I’m not satisfied.
The imperfect heavens.
The shoddy planets.
The second-rate stars.
The mediocre clouds.
Beyond the substandard planes.
I’m at the top.
To dwell in the shining heavens.
To greet the egotistical planets.
To outshine the fading stars.
to test the pressure of the atmosphere.
my greedy desire,
I must fulfill my need,
Higher than any cloud has ever reached.
height.
To float higher than
height.
in a competition of
To beat each plane
than to go higher.
Nothing else matters
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
I’m floating now.
Freedom.
I grab the chance to get out.
releases its grip.
It gets distracted and
some cruel being.
Chained to the ground by the claws of
At the bottom.
Mar 26, 2013
Mar 26, 2013 at 12:41 AM UTC
My heart sought a home, even when I was in one,
I moved here almost 9 years ago, I gave it my best,
To settle, to adapt, to overcome, to thrive even,
Instead I corroded, I mangled, I survived choiceless;
Through all your lush green and the rain,
I never found real comfort, just a respite,
I suppose I was stupid to expect it at all,
How does one find home in a war?
Nothing has changed, I don't expect it now,
I was just a city boy abandoned far away,
In an land, where I couldn't speak or relate to,
I'm supposed to belong here and I don't;
It's amazing how far I've placed my mind away,
I rarely live in that certain aspect of my existence,
I'm somewhere I don't belong and can't go back,
Where I used to belong no longer belongs to me;
I'm a nomad in a place I'll never understand,
I've grown accustomed to it's people and things,
The tailored familiarity often backfires into me,
I can't be in tune with them or them me,
I'm a child of the Earth, nameless and unbound,
Perhaps there is hope after all, I'm undefined,
Tried to fit in their boxes, gracefully broke all of it,
Maybe I don't fit in anywhere, the wildcard;
I do take great pride in that, it's a badge of quality,
The untamed among the tamed, blessed with chaos,
A mercurial maverick who desires rest and calm,
I'm only a person after all so I hope, I hope, I hope...
Mar 12, 2024
Mar 12, 2024 at 11:21 AM UTC
Tangle me in your web of desire.
May your passion light my fire.
Sharing secrets; with my secret admire.
Your piece of mind,
My quagmire.
Below the surface,
My hidden Sapphire.
Shooting starts;
Chasing tails.
Such a satire.
It's all good,
Until it backfires.
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 8:34 PM UTC
i don't want to read your curious looks
your casual tones, or anything they hint of
i did that once, and look where it got me
i don't want to read your eyes
or the crinkles that come with them
forced happiness hurts both ends, you know
i don't want to read your sighs
castoff glances, held breaths
waiting for something neither of us can place
i don't want to read your anger
the clenching of fists and jaws and hearts
interfering only backfires on me
i don't want to read your absences
how you don't seem to care until you're back
but i always do
i don't want to read your glares
frustration through avoidance, that's what you do
this game's too foolish for me
i don't want to read your heart
it's not written in a language i'd understand
and such is for the better
i don't want to read your scars
i might remember who caused them
and wonder why that who still exists
i don't want to read your memories
they're not the same as mine
maybe they never were
Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 10:43 AM UTC
The Unfocused luminosity within my mind
is so bright that it often times blinds my eyes from the inside,
Desperate to concentrate and focus it into two beams
that shine on a fate that’s known but unseen,
at least outside of my dreams,
It backfires and converts into an inaudible scream that in turn internally deafens me.
Nevertheless in your company, it seems that you can feel this shriek’s muffled vibrations
and despite the two dulled senses you the give remaining four the most overwhelming awakening sensation.
Your exquisite essence immediately arouses my olfactory causing my heart to beat rapidly, communicating with yours through its protective cage,
in a Morse code like language that predates drawings in caves,
our bodies ripple in synchronous waves,
the taste of your lips and sweetness of your skin can sustain me for days.
My third eye attempts to analyze your magnificence but it’s almost impossible to gauge,
I mumble **** baby, thinking about how I want to get engaged and..
you whisper in my ear telling me I feel “amazing”
and I think to myself” **** right I do”,
forgetting that you’re describing how I feel to you,
Then It hits me, that now I can hear, as you whisper in my other ear so soft and clear
“baby look at me”
then I open my “real eyes”
and your beauty hits me like sunrise,
The internal light that clouded my view,
from my eyes, reflects off of you and illuminates the room,
My mental muse,
You can clear my view when I focus on you
which is the cause and cure for my blues.
Dec 8, 2012
Dec 8, 2012 at 12:49 PM UTC
Tangle me in your web of desire.
May your passion light my fire.
Sharing secrets; with my secret admire.
Your piece of mind,
My quagmire.
Below the surface,
My hidden Sapphire.
Shooting starts;
Chasing tails.
Such a satire.
It's all good,
Until it backfires.
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 4, 2017 at 12:11 AM UTC
Everytime I try to help
It comes back on me
It always backfires
I get ******* over everytime
I do the right thing
But I get the short end of the stick
I get called names
I get picked on
I don't do anything
Because it's not worth my time
But now I'm tired of it
**** y'all
Every single person
Who has ever hurt me
******* me over
Lied to me
Every last one of you
I'm nothing because of you
The happy little kid I once was
He's dead
He's gone
I'm an empty shell
Incapable of feeling
A sucidal freak
**** you
You made me this way
Your dirt
No your worse than dirt
Your hated by everybody you meet
Nobody likes you
Nobody loves you
I'm sitting here
With this gun in my mouth
And if I pull the trigger
It's on you
You deserve it
No you deserve worse
But no
I won't
Maybe another day
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 4:20 PM UTC
Darkness abhors the light
As its true reflection it sees
It cannot stand to see itself
Or see the light in me
The darkness comes with belief
That it can destroy the light
Yet all its plans get washed ashore
Defeated by my fight
Confrontation with the darkness
Is not an easy battle won
But I’ll shine my light upon it
And watch it as it runs
Darkness comes taking many
But backfires upon its own
As those who are left standing
See where they shouldn’t roam
Apr 11, 2010
Apr 11, 2010 at 7:01 AM UTC
IF ONLY THE WAR WOULD DIE
If only the War would
die
but it lives on
crawls across the mind
the everyday things
infected
people in trams and buses
wearing my dead friend's face
until everyone
becomes him.
A car backfires
and I hit the ground
to the amazement and amusement
of passersby who pass by.
It's what kept me
alive.
This the curse
of survival.
Even birds wear
my dead friend's face.
Even his face
in a flower's petals.
He falls in the rain
again and again and again
stranded on the wire
like a ****** broken puppet
the wind
pulling his strings
dying for days
on end.
"Die you ****** bugger...die!"
I beg him.
But he refuses
to listen.
Three men dead
by ****** fire
trying to get him
me I got it in the leg.
I see him rot
stage by stage
the secrets of the grave
open for all to see.
I see the rats
gnawing at his dear face
until only his skeleton
grins at me.
His voice forever
calling to me.
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 4:08 PM UTC
Please don't let me fall in love with you.
I want to be happy, just the way I am.
I am only going to hurt myself on your
rough and unforgiving edges of ignorance.
Maybe I'm going to drown in the water
when the thin sheet of ice that
I'm stumbling on breaks.
You won't complete me,
As I need to complete myself.
Don't complicate my life,
making your existence easier.
Let me know when you're ready to love.
Love for me comes easy,
And backfires ripping my heart to pieces.
Complete the unsolved puzzle
And let my love flow in your veins.
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 5:34 PM UTC
Lately, it's different
I don't know why,
like a current change,
like time is always on my side
Like I'm way too slow,
I cannot hit the mark.
The way I show,
The way I stayed until dark.
Simple tasks,
I have forgotten to do,
Backfires to me,
like a weekend flu
Sometimes I learn,
the art of execution,
but in some midpoint of that learning.
my mind goes vacation!
There's always a point re-occurring,
where I'm at the bottom wheel,
Where I'm no sharp-shooter,
where my ego has got to deal.
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010 at 1:55 AM UTC
I’m not really sure if I’m me anymore.
I’m addicted to things I’ve never even done before.
I often find myself craving a cigarette,
Or just a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Whiskey.
I miss that feeling of sneaking out and walking the streets at night,
But that’s something I never have done.
I miss that feeling of holding a gun and pulling the trigger,
the sound as it makes as it backfires.
But I’ve never shot a gun before,
I’ve never smoked a cigarette,
I’ve never even seen a real bottle of whiskey,
just the ones displayed in bars.
But yet this urge, this “I could really use one of those right now” it’s the feeling of an addict.
I’m not an addict.
But yet, I could really use a cigarette right about now.
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 17, 2013 at 6:25 PM UTC
Have you ever had that feeling of being inadequate?
Feeling like nothing is ever going to change? Same old, same old.
You want things to change, but they never do.
It makes you sicker and sicker for each passing minute.
That's exactly how I feel, and how do you keep you hopes up, your mood or anything for that matter?
Of course there is a lot to be grateful for, but when you are feeling so down, so hopeless, so alone and like such a failure... it's hard to appreciate anything at all.
It's all my faulth, because there is so much more I can do.
I just feel like I don't have the energy, guts or confidence to try, and feeling like that only backfires on me.
How do I get the strength to be who I am, do what I want and live as I lust, in a world that tells us who we should be, how we should look, how we should think and tells us how we should live?
People who are able to do that, are one of the courageous people in the world.
We're lucky enough to be able to live as good as we do, and then we make stress for ourselves on things that don't really matter.
You have to do this or that to look pretty and stay young as long as possible.
We create needs that weren't even there to begin with.
We make them life essentials, when they're really far from it.
It's a ****** up world that kills the freespirited mind and makes us all live in cages.
Cages where everything is already decided, and if you don't measure up, then you fail as a humanbeing.
The truth is you fail more following the norm. You fail more not following you heart.
You fail more not seeing the world as it is, and doing what you can to make a difference.
You fail yourself being a coward. You fail your life. You fail the world.
You fail.
If you really feel like a failure, reflect upon how you are living your life and analyze if you are living for you, or for those who want to hold you captive...
The minute you stop just blindly following the crowd, is the minute you stop failing and start succeeding.
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 2, 2017 at 9:47 AM UTC
Hangs noose.
Loads gun.
Turns on car,
shuts garage door.
Sticks head in oven
Sylvia Plath style.
Leaps off of unforgiving bridge
and meets water with a smack.
Tangos with oncoming traffic
transfixed by headlights
like once frolicking dear.
Sticks tongue into outlet
to see what electricity tastes like.
Attempts to cuddle with hungry
bear after it emerges from hibernation.
Gets thrown to wolves,
and fails to return leading the pack.
Suicide by irony.
Gun backfires in robbery and attacker gets a brain bleed
in the form of a gaping hole.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 11:12 AM UTC
Extreme of anything
Is a sin of Life?
Caring about everyone
Will Backfire sometimes?
No tips and tricks
I have to control
Because no one can live
My Life
Too much of mystery
Too much of drama
With my own set of thoughts
Not sure how and why
Others take it wrong
I embarrass myself
To be available too much
Easily and without effort
Is that good thing to do?
But, this state of me is uncontrollable
May I leave it or keep it with me
Am really confused and disturbed
Finally I want only a smile from you
Which backfires as a hatred on me
How come I am wrong in judging
And making feel people uncomfortable
By not knowing what they want and not
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 12:43 PM UTC
Your ego is just an illusion.
pain; just let it pass by.
live by the moment
and savor your time.
critics walls your maze
so be it, seize, get by.
regrets could pull you off
momentum backfires;
just when you reached success,
you face your bid of decline.
and when we give in to pleasure
reality check is sublimed.
Your ego is just an illusion
wake up establish your stable.
It's the years that will reveal.
truth's harsh, and is inevitable.
Aug 31, 2012
Aug 31, 2012 at 11:18 AM UTC
No one should try and bite off more than what they can ever chew
because they’ll get themselves into difficulties if and when they do.
Everybody usually tries to get by with what they each can score
but sometimes their greed backfires on them if they go for more.
_________________
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 9:28 PM UTC
kind hearted man
why do you try so hard to be simple
i loved you for your innocence
but i know it's chosen ignorance
because if you think too hard
you might learn that everything you know is a lie
your God is the easiest road to travel
rather than tackle the real questions of the universe
you are stuck in your own head
i have dreams where i try to chisel you out
but instead my pecking backfires
and i'm the one left in pieces
you want to do whats easiest
so i'm left alone
sprinting through the dark fields of the world
on my birthday
chasing down nineteen candles without you
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 11:35 PM UTC
I am ageing,
It's just a number,
The number of candles have increased on my birthday cake.
I have got heavier,
The width of my waist has increased,
There are wrinkles where my smiles were,
I pole dance with the safety bar in the bathtub,
Every time I cough or sneeze my radiator leaks,
My exhaust backfires,
I tend to forget,
I am not perfect,
But, I don't care.
I have become more compelling,
I am more silent,
More wiser , more smiling,
With greater intuition.
My mind is a fountain of youth,
I am fun,
I am now background music,
I am soothing
My family and their friends connect to me,
I fuel their soul,
They feel safe.
I may be an old model but my engine still runs smoothly.
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 4:51 AM UTC
the cold wind howls outside,
the sudden downpour makes the stray cats scatter,
and a car backfires up the road.
you’re drunk, you’re upset
make-up streams down your face,
intertwining with your tears.
a pathetic fallacy if i ever saw one.
i’m outside;
my flesh hits the cold brick
at the side of the house
i’m not drunk, but i’m upset
and i can’t let you see
so i prescribe the cold and rain as my remedy,
it reminds me that i’m still here.
and i shiver,
but it’s better then going inside.
going inside means that i would have to tell you
why something so trivial
made me break down.
going inside means that you would discover
the secret behind my facade.
because i’m not upset at you
and i’m not angry.
i’m scared.
this real world that we’re living in,
it’s beating me up.
i’m afraid.
because in my mind,
my fear and my pain
is not as severe as yours.
and i’m terrified,
that you’ll call me weak
and you’ll laugh.
so for now,
i’ll lean against this brick wall
and let the rain and the cold
become my drug.
Dec 7, 2011
Dec 7, 2011 at 3:25 AM UTC
I'm noticing less and less of a separation
Between the woman in my head,
The woman who stands before you,
And the hungry wolf I've fed.
I keep telling myself,
“To be numb will make it feel better”
But then it backfires on me.
I don't feel anxiety or embarrassment from what other people see,
For what I've done or what pushed me there,
I know, it's always me.
Sitting in bed,
Replaying in my head
Everything I ever did or said,
That wasn't me, but just a loose bolt in my head,
Crawling around trying to find a source
To feed the cravings and quench the thirst,
For attention I wanted and thought I would need,
And left me wondering why I'm never the one to leave,
Why I'm always the last woman standing in an empty crowd,
Because my pride is too strong,
Because I refuse to back down.
I wake up angry and sick with my other side,
That put me to sleep and took my body for a ride,
And I don't care if the whole world forgives me,
Because I can't forgive myself,
For starting the night as one person and morphing into someone else.
Maybe it's time to start over and invent someone new,
Or keep true to myself,
which I've never had the nerve to do.
But being numb isn't real,
When I was just born to feel,
A sensitive girl painted with false *** appeal.
Aug 1, 2017
Aug 1, 2017 at 2:06 AM UTC
Ever wonder who's on the other end of these poems
Are they really human? Possibly clones?
Maybe a bunch of chimps in a dank room typing away
And after months of randomness, they conjure something clever to say
Some people are probably just busy, others insecure
That's one weakness every poet can relate to, I'm sure
But for a bunch of lonely souls, just longing to feel connected
It's amazing how many times I've reached out, only to be rejected
This place, this space, some people just seem so hollow
And you wonder to yourself,
do I even want to be followed?
Sep 10, 2021
Sep 10, 2021 at 6:04 PM UTC
It's Yosef shining from the East north south and the west
Keep a tech next to my girls breast blessed
Ya heart rate increases then ceased
soon to be deceased
I just released ya soul back to the depths of hell
From the paths of a pistols travels as I unravel
Mysteries without a miniseries better yet an autopsy
Its hard for me to be moved in this industry
See what it does to heartless foes who envy
Breedin' jealousy cuz I spit it so wickedly
Game clutcher like Kobe or Horry feel the gory
Once my vocals touch the booth begins a horror story
Straight to the core I give ya that raw
Word to Amen raw son of an
outlaw
My Pa was raw with his southpaw and in the South all they
saw
Was grande killers guerilla
tactics
nocturnal beef made
eternal
If you gotta problem with the
general
And my chick be the colonel y'all get burned by the inferno
Pop more shells than
kernels
I thought you knew my heat
Made eternal so brace ya self for the halo
And the pendejos love to talk is soon to cough
Up a blood storm as I swarm intentions harm
For all critics talkin' **** ya soon to feel the backfires of karm
Dec 19, 2018
Dec 19, 2018 at 10:25 PM UTC
.
I swear there's no desperation ,
~ I'm inoculated with self love.
an amelioration in self appreciation ,
I've taught myself the how.
yet the velvet core in my heart ~
yearns to be caressed
& engulfed in warmth ,
~ feeling summery Hawaii ~
with no snare or snag or con.
for I give the world ,
all my tender zeal ,
and unsolicited adoration -
which backfires, 9 out of 10 ,
Though I never seek, reciprocation.
But, there exists...
a glint
a tickle
of AbSoLutE craving
a spec
a freckle
of great raging longing
for all the worlds attention
to fill my chalice of a soul
- to the brim
~ with affection.
Dec 13, 2022
Dec 13, 2022 at 9:37 AM UTC