"bachelorette" poems
Three jobs, seven cats,
crooked glasses, and wet hair.
(I know you want me.)
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 9:02 AM UTC
Return trip from the borderlands
and Maria, she's driving though
she's had a little too much based
on the tremors and the listless
drift of the party bus from left lane
to right.
I'm in my Chuck Taylor's,
the Warhols, the $795 collector's,
thumbing through my girlfriend's
Facebook timeline. She just bought
a Picasso, a self-portrait. I want
to stab her with the long end
of my ****** shoes. They're
on the carpeted floor. Jenny's
on the carpeted floor too. I roll
her on her side so she doesn't
choke on her own ***** Hero.
The path lights overhead start
blinking and somebody, Kate
or Kristen, I get them mixed up,
starts screaming, "Strobe." We're
in the left lane going ninety, ninety-five.
The right lane looks weak.
Jenny mumbles something as I step over her.
"What's that?" I ask.
"Read the quiet book. Love the quiet book.
the whole human experience captured
in twenty-six scattered symbols."
Someone's in the ****** laughing.
We go into a tunnel and everything
goes quiet and thoughtful and black.
Breathe in through the nose and out
the same way. Click the heels together
and wait.
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 10:28 PM UTC
Chatting
of their love
between
cocktails and cuts.
As if
it isn't a gut shot.
As if
it isn't a *******
mule kick
to the head.
As if
it isn't the
missing piece.
Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 3:37 AM UTC
(Extra characters: Friend 1 Friend 2 )
"A chat about who people like?"
It's not something like that!
But actually I'm interested, and want to hear about it,
It sets my heart fluttering!
The reason is really simple,
I'm plagued by this awkward shyness,
So I'll just be watching from behind.
Though surely I've been kindled with the idea of love,
I actually haven't fallen in love with anyone yet.
Just having fun with my friends, A "bachelorette"(lol)
Who just smiles and dodges the question...
It's totally fine like this! 'Thud'
Falling in love and stuff, when it happens to someone,
Naturally that envious, jealous feeling rises up.
Teach me the charm, that will set love in motion!
I must look like a huge dummy...
"Eh? a soccer ball?"
"Hey what's that? It looks fun!"
"It's just what guys do right?"
We burst out in laughter.
Saying "Good morning, you got some bed hair."
That boy from my class, I'm totally shocked!
It was the first time he talked to me,
And it's just so embarrassing!
With my everyday being a bit boring,
Having milk, the two stars and a supernova,
They were having a dream.
Suppose one day if I started going out with someone,
It'd be nice walking home hand in hand...
"It's a somewhat embarrassing dream..."
"I know..." Just talking to myself,
Someday, surely...
Being jealous, being made to feel that way,
All girls experience stuff like that.
These totally normal kinds of emotions,
I'll surely have them too...
"I have something I want to tell you,"
"Later after school, at 4:10 pm in this classroom right here."
Glancing at me during just our second conversation,
Why won't my heart stop beating like crazy?
I can't look at him!
You know, just supposing, if this was a confession...
I'm all stuck thinking,
About what I should say.
If that kind of thing is said...
Aahh...
"I'm just so nervous!"
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015 at 6:21 AM UTC
Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth open up about breaking the rules and their plans for a (really big) family. Subscribe now for all the details plus exclusive photos, only in PEOPLE!
Get ready to toast to Mr. and Mrs. Booth!
Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth, who got engaged on The Bachelorette's season finale, are ready to walk down the aisle … just as soon as they take a little breather.
"We just want to enjoy the moment right now," Booth, 29, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "It's been so crazy. We just want to hang out as a normal couple, do a little traveling and then sit down and start making some plans."
Adds his bride-to-be: "We can't wait. We don't need to plan it right now, but we can't wait."
And the famously laid-back former dance instructor, 30, says she's already got a couple visions for her big day in mind.
"I always picture myself having a destination wedding because I'm so low-maintenance," Bristowe says. "I don't want to pick out flowers or colors, I just want to be like, 'yes, no, yes, no' ."
Jokes Booth: "I always pictured a wedding in Vegas at a little chapel!"
As far as expanding their family down the road? It might happen sooner rather than later, if you ask Bristowe.
"I have such baby fever," she admits. "I want four [kids]. Shawn wants five. And I hope to God I have all boys."
"One girl," Booth chimes in. "One girl that looks like her mom!"
For much more from Kaitlyn and Shawn, including exclusive photos, pick up the new issue of PEOPLE, on stands Friday
read more:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-sydney
www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-brisbane
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 9:45 PM UTC
Tonight, my snowed in heart has frozen.
It's numb, lost and broken.
With minutes left, yet no one to call,
this bachelorette lifestyle has taken its toll.
Search for greener pastures loses its charms,
on nights like this when the bed is cold.
Staring at a picture of a stranger,
I can simply sense the danger,
of rushing into a compromise,
by settling for my parents' choice,
of whom I should spend the rest of my life,
and all I can do is.... sigh.
Alcohol, an ideal solution,
but my room is painstakingly dry.
Several lighters lying around, but not a single cigarettes,
I could just cry.
Reminiscing a walk in town,
where commercialism attempts to sell love,
tying the end of Christmas to the start of Valentines,
and why I cannot afford any of the above.
Having gone astray,
losing my right to pray,
noticing how when they stay,
I end up walking away,
makes me suspect a divine intervention,
threatening a life of damnation,
with no means of escape,
because it's too late.
I'm in critical need of a saviour,
a hero, a warrior,
to feed my patriarchal upbringing,
to be that **** Prince Charming.
Enough good looks,
to keep me hooked,
and anaesthetize my heart,
for the inevitable ripping apart.
Wit enough to hypnotize my brain,
so the pain won't stop me from loving again,
and yes, that is what I want to do,
until this life is through.
My snowed in heart could do with some warmth,
someone, light a fire, soon...
Jan 18, 2013
Jan 18, 2013 at 8:45 PM UTC
Don't get me wrong
I love the Bachelor
and the Bachelorette
The getaways
The fun dates
the good looking people
But is it that's what's wrong with dating today?
Instead of worthiness
We're in it for the pic
what looks best on instagram
while inside we yearn for contentedness
But restlessness is what we're given
got to keep up with the joneses
we're afraid to let ourselves feel
for people based on status
Is it a twilight zone scene
can't be because it's around
from the beginning
ancient royals doing the same
but now we're in a modern aristocracy
So I'll turn off the Bachelorette tonight
I don't need fancy
I need supportive
and sweet
In it for the long haul
and loves me wholly
Miss me with the fake love
and give me the real
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 4:55 PM UTC
Some people were naturally graceful
She was not
But
She taught herself how to be;
She taught herself the powers of
intimidation by ****** tension,
gracefulness,
and how to look like an iceberg was harboring your heart at all hours of the day
She taught herself how to
flare her nostrils and
elongate her eyes to where they scared the living **** out of you
but turned you on just as well
She taught herself how to
steal hearts and
break necks and
fill eyes with lust
She taught herself how to look like a ******* bat straight out of hell
but god forbid
that she teach herself how to love
She was a glorified bachelorette,
a dignified eye catcher;
And if anyone could say no to a diamond ring
and a promise of forever,
She could;
And that scared him more than the prospect of ***
with one woman
for the rest of his life
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 4:37 PM UTC
Here, I am interrupted by being the only woman in the room –
the seventeen year old woman in a lace gown
that strays from her kneecaps, untouched but by air
and launching in the breeze for twenty sets of interested eyes.
Give me their heads on a platter
so that no one will ever finish watching me waltz.
I am a bachelorette, but taken by all these mouths that tell me
who else I am or could be, supposed to be in this ether.
Heel, he says. I am a dog. Roll onto your back. I am his *****
But we shed our skin like snakes in a corner no one sees.
Apr 12, 2013
Apr 12, 2013 at 5:45 PM UTC
You left me like chocolate raindrops hitting a river of mud flowing through a Saint Valentine's Day wet dream.
You left me like the last surviving, half naked girl running through the forest, during a 1980's
Friday the 13th movie marathon.
You left me like the last piece of pizza, that no one eats, that remains in the open box, that sits on the coffee table all night, after a college kegger fest.
You left me like when your wife leaves her wedding ring on her nightstand, while she goes out to her best friend's Bachelorette party at a strip joint.
You left me like the only kid in your class that never got picked for a game of kickball during noon recess in elementary school.
You left me like the backwash in the bottom of soda can as you offer me a drink, knowing there were no more sodas left in the fridge.
You left me like you do all the crumbs you leave in a nearly empty, wrinkled bag of chips after you were playing World of Warcraft for 16 hours.
You left me like the last match in book of matches as we try to start a fire during a family camping trip, then it starts to rain.
You left me like you did your last boyfriend with a long text that was meant for me, but you actually sent it to my mom.
You left me like the last petal on a thorny rose bush that clinges onto it's last thread to the branch that holds it, during a severe thunderstorm.
You left me like ... one second.
(Scratching my head)
Pause, never mind.
Thank God, You are Gone!!
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 6, 2016 at 1:44 AM UTC
I am twenty years old
I don’t sing in the shower,
But I always try to harmonize in the car
My waterbottle is my favorite accessory
I still wear youth large clothes,
And steal from my mom’s closet
I like to wear the color red,
But I usually buy things that are blue, and my favorite color is purple
My thoughts and my actions often don’t match up
I never pay attention in class,
and sometimes focus more on IMDB
than the movie in front of me
I always run out of free article reads online,
but have a tough time reading body language
I used to be vegetarian
I don’t eat salmon
And I am pretty sure ranch dressing goes with everything
I like snapchat
But the idea of big brother scares me
Perhaps its because I am an only child
My hands are always dancing
And my shoes are always laced up to run
I always talking about growing up
As if my future is not already knocking on my door
I don’t think its fair that we don’t have enough time to be everyone we’d wish to be
That we only get one lifetime to figure it out
I want to be a professional dancer who acts on the side and is a nurse by night
I want to travel the world, but also have a picket fence house
To be a bachelorette for life, but have a family waiting at home
I have been blessed with good health
But I’m not convinced that there isn’t a disease hiding in my abdomen
I have good grades
But somehow I have a hard time making sense of everyday life
I wish I knew what it felt like to be friends with me
But still, I don’t like myself very much
And I don’t like other people either
Or maybe other people don’t like me
I used to love the color gray
Perhaps because I was trying to find comfort in the uncertainty
Or I couldn’t decide whether light or dark made me feel at home
I believe in Sunday mornings,
And rainy days
An overcast sky makes me feel more alive
But if you ask me why,
I probably would not have an answer
I don’t like having my picture taken,
Though always smile when I’m taking someone else’s
I am afraid of tomorrow,
And yesterday’s should haves,
Scare me
I am not very good with a GPS
But being lost never worries me
Except for that one time,
In the woods,
Alone
Probably because being alone feels infinite
And being together feels fleeting
I treasure my alone time, but am
Always missing
You
I’m not sure if this is all worth it,
But for what its worth,
It just might be
Mar 27, 2016
Mar 27, 2016 at 12:53 PM UTC
Being a girl is hard
But being a black girl...
Let me tell you about being a black girl
Leave Out
Twist
Frontal
Perm
Pick your poison
"Unprofessional"
Or falling for " European Beauty Standards"
" Why are you so quiet?"
Do you expect me to be aggressive
And snap my fingers in an A-Z formation
Light Skin is the best skin
Or so they say
I'm jealous of my brother, for his caramel skin
Oh what I'd do for that caramel skin
You think that's the worst of it but have you see ****
Cute girl makes love to -insert famous **** star here
Ebony ***** gets banged till she squirts
Which would you rather watch?
If you ever turned on a TV you'd see reality shows with the perfect blue eyed blond hair cast and the one black kid who doesn't get enough attention
Ever since Rachel was the Bachelorette I too prayed one day I'll find the man of my dreams
Have you ever had a crush on someone and ever think if they even like girls your skin color?
Being a girl is hard
But being a black girl
Oh let me tell you about being a black girl
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 4:13 PM UTC
Famous in War,
Famous in Bloodshed,
Famous in Heartbreak.
Stitch my scars,
Feel my heart sink,
Watch me fall and
Drown in memories.
How do you remember me?
Is it how I remember you?
The way the room lit up,
When you entered it.
Bright as a summer's day,
Bright as a winter's city night,
Christmas lights,
Covered in snow.
Never lacking in lustier,
Inseparable frozen hands,
Not wanting to let go,
Never wanting to give in.
That burn I get,
In the back of my throat,
From licking your flame.
I still see you the same way,
But in different places,
The bachelorette who
Drives past in her car,
In my opposite direction.
For a short moment in those
Shy girls, who glance out at life,
Through the same big,
Thick-rimmed glasses.
In the songs we once song
To one another,
All seeming like
A lifetime ago.
I hope that these days,
You are overjoyed,
Never again
To be so destroyed.
Destroyed by War,
Destroyed by Bloodshed,
Destroyed by Heartbreak.
- Jamie F. Nugent
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 9:27 AM UTC
If you have any such bachelorette in sight,
Do inform me. I am a straight man.
I want to get married asap,
No restrictions on age, religion or creed.
Just want an in-law family, which is vegetarian.
Apr 8, 2021
Apr 8, 2021 at 9:01 AM UTC
Attempt to shine
flickering figurative klieg light
with the help of hyperbole
on poverty wrought
debutante material, this predicated
on my own unbiased thought
initially related during
my early boyhood,
how many countless
bachelor beaus sought
to pledge their troth,
who hailed (strictly
for purposes of this poem)
from Pennsauken,
Perth Amboy, Penobscot,
but thee essential truth ought
to be gleaned (lodged
as like some precious gem
within geode, qua Harriet Kuritsky,
who oft times recounted her
personal anecdotal information)
underlying veritable truth, I allude
means to underscore
how thine late mum
as the "baby" of her family
wore mantle of exclusive favoritism,
sans donning beautiful clothes
perfectly cared for,
coiffed, and curled hair
(think Shirley Temple)
as her older sisters brewed
festered, and steeped with jealousy,
asper me mother receiving
lion's share of blatant favoritism
all the while said long since
deceased maternal aunts got exclude
did from requisite
(shut heard textbook case) maternal love,
hence within their cerebral hood
incubated, evolved, and flourished
emotional disease affliction
with changeable mood
and thee Aunt Ruth oblivious,
while pacing hallway in the ****
whereat verbally abuse sent
both aunts to mental institution
insanity didst the
ultimate discordant prelude
resulting viz lifetime
of baleful, hateful, shameful,
and worthless venom got spewed,
hence no surprise
rabid mailer daemons
courted, thus psychosis easily wooed.
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 4:11 PM UTC
Bachelorette: Bachelor #1, tell me about my eyes.
Bachelor #1: ur eyes are like diamond teardrops cutting through my heart.
Bachelorette: Bachelor #2, tell me about my eyes.
Bachelor #2: ur eyes are like twin flames lighting up my loneliness.
Bachelorette: Bachelor #3, tell me about my eyes.
Bachelor #3: I wish I was an onion & u were holding a knife to my skin.
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 10, 2018 at 12:43 PM UTC
I'm not sure why I'm staying here
You aren't my home
I know my home,
I've been planning it since i was a child,
Decorations in my mind like a bachelorette's Pinterest
You could never be my home
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 10:42 AM UTC
She caught
you fair and
Square
The never____
((Singlehanded))
(Jingle Cock-pit landed)
The napkin
crossed legs
Married
her favorite drinks
((Uncrossed or divorced))
Bachelorette
Never drink
and ride her
Corvette
50 unlisted shades
green drinks
Spiked
Too envy_______*
Personality can win
One *** single
Emmy
So Cool and collected
He's so hot saturated
Her College Humor
Mom got ulcers
Such a bust of
tumors
Bring on the
Buzz Feed
Amazingly enough
Drinks are our
Drug need
Single she had ti
Married to regret it
Amaretto went
Solo
Card game
Played upon like the
City Ghetto
In your mouth
Smirnoff___Off the record
The turn-off
He tried to win her
Such Sweet nuts
The olives Italian
Hey Juice horse
Stallion
The
Gala Ha
Ha baba
Shrimp and sheep
Pretzels lime twist
This is NY
we never sleep
Dogs Yen of Yorkie
Liqueur lime
his crime
Gala Forgie
Quicker and
City slicker
One drink
to pick Fergie
Big Daiquiri
Hot stuff singer
Never a
solitaire game
He got stiff
Frangelico
Of the Pinnacle
The ***** Princess
Lost her dress
Playing Russian
Roulette
Magically Mike
Came all over
Collette imaginable
His drink was
the hottest rated
Never by one
Bad drink
Sip to your drinks
Gala party tricks
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 12:11 PM UTC
If I were a ******
I'd strive to be the best
not like Richard Gere
I'd have hair upon my chest
The ladies will call
I'll service all their needs
doing so, enthused
and doing so, sans seeds
I'd do credit cards and cash
but not any guys or dudes
building up my money stash
bachelorette parties, in the ****
Of fame, fortune, and acclaim
I'll construct my feminine clientele
pleasing, teasing, and squeezing
things I'm known to do, so very, ******* well
May 17, 2017
May 17, 2017 at 10:00 AM UTC
i’ve been sick a lot this year. like, little kid sick. with the kind of cough that only a sick little kid would have.
and it’s 2016 and i’m congested in my infested sad grad bachelorette pad. and if i’ve taught myself anything, it’s how to take care of myself. if that’s what too much netflix and not enough water means then i’m a ********* doctor.
my hair is unwashed and my face is about twelve difference colors. and i conclude that yes, i am in fact too gross for groceries.
so today i don’t think i have any tools to collect the courage to talk to the cute boy at the deli even though i’m vegetarian so perhaps it’s not meant to be.
and it’s hot in here. the taste in my mouth is familiar, and i close my eyes trying to place it. through the ringing in my ears at the bathroom sink, i can hear 1996 and you’re there on the phone
and i’m on the couch and you’re not checking on me but you’re balancing your checkbook. tom brokaw on nbc is telling me everything that’s wrong with the world but i hear you laughing and that tells me everything is right.
and the sourness in my stomach makes me think of the suspense of a summer storm. and before tom holden on wkbn turns it over to weather, you tell me that it’s going to rain because the leaves are turning over. and you turned off the tv and you turned on the radio and you lit a cigarette and even though you were out of your suit and in your gym shorts, you looked like the most learned man in the world.
and i open my eyes and i look in the mirror and there you are, staring back at me. it’s even more glaring when i’m tired. you cant make eye contact with me in person anymore but you can't beat the mirror. at least with the magic of a mascara wand i can see the parts of you i want to see.
my stomach turns a little more at the thought of how many times the world has turned since 1996.
whenever it rains in the summer. or i find a picture of you laughing. or chicago comes on the radio, i forget everything you’ve ever done. and you’re the person i want to be again.
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 7:22 PM UTC
There’s a story about Calypso or maybe it’s a legend
or maybe it’s religion
Daughter of a Titan, seducer of a hero
Maybe she was actually the hero
Must it always be about princesses and dragons, girls and ogres?
Anyway, we’re the dragons and the princesses tonight
Summer whites instead of white
wedding gowns-
There’s a bachelorette party a few tables down and the bride looks uncomfortably close to my age
The four of us, the dragon girls, around the table
There’s a story about sisterhood
or maybe it’s a legend
or maybe it’s religion
Daughters of regular men and students of 4 different subjects, citizens of three different countries between us
Sounds like a bad bar joke: a Romanian, two Americans, and a Chinese citizen walk into a restaurant on a Saturday night...
We laugh at ourselves before the punch line hits (and these young women actually liked themselves!)
When you’re the princess, ogre, dragon, girl
When you’re the prize, villain, hero
you get to have all the fun. That’s the secret to all this, I think: have all the fun you can
Have all you can. Have all of it. Be all of it. Complex human beings with complexes of our own behind our eyes- we laugh
The bachelorette party orders more alcohol
China and Romania plan their trip to Greece for spring break over
the side salads and
COVID-19 travel restrictions
Americans try their best to help navigate the travel website
Imagine this: history happens and we live through it anyway.
We plan through it anyway.
Once upon a time, Calypso trapped Odysseus.
That’s the way the story goes, anyway, but every dragon knows
men only come to the lair looking for a prize
he must not have been expecting something that looked like us
he must not have been expecting the dragon to be the prize
Oct 3, 2020
Oct 3, 2020 at 10:51 PM UTC