"aversions" poems
For dead is where I begin, Indebted.
& that is where I’ll stay,
Despite the way I feel today
Despite my tiresome aversions
I will hang myself before the opportunity for any detour
Deter…
I will deter myself.
I will prove to myself, once again,
That I, am the master of my demise
The rue in ruin
My own failure
and then…
I’ll lay my head to rest.
For tomorrow is over.
A new beginning in which to distract away from a new
To make the same mistakes I’ve grown so familiar to…
To a broken neck, one in which reflects my irregularity
To walk with my head down…
Past the bridge of contemplation, contemplating-
suicide.
Despite refrain,
To spite restraint
To the end.
& never make it-
to the end,
My End.
I shall be received
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 9:14 PM UTC
Monster
as forbidding as the mask you wear
to hide the unfaithful face,
the treachery
and the pretense
the aversions,
an ire–
the price you pay for a well-played game
of poisoning hearts,
Monster!
not hiding under my bed,
but obverse, bearing deadly fangs
yes,
your venom might have killed this body
but see,
you're just a monster Hydra
whilst I've got the Phoenix in me
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016 at 9:56 AM UTC
When we dress in phantom finery,
we can only expect disillusionment.
Choke ourself with all our fantastic desires.
Complete mental malnourishment,
from our heart deep self harassment.
Let small smiles slither away.
Gut with tender savagery,
aversions to avarice.
Self-servile self-worth denial,
wash small magic away.
Feb 8, 2017
Feb 8, 2017 at 5:47 PM UTC
There is something
in your presence
that makes me feel
like I am returning home,
as though I've
traced the outline of that sparkling smile,
anticipated your kiss,
and recognized the whisper of your voice,
long before now.
Instances,
in which we have known each other
in some other
existence.
Times,
when I am acutely aware
and can sense
your disposition, cravings and
aversions
simply by looking into your eyes, hearing your voice,
or contemplating your touch.
Our paths in this life,
of course,
have simply not allowed this to be
imaginable.
But its in those moments,
serendipitous moments,
when I feel like
I am rediscovering you,
instead of becoming acquainted with the essence of you.
And it makes me wonder.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 7:30 PM UTC
when in stillness
undying screams within explode
anxieties crawl like bugs
under the skin
of which the world is deaf n blind
when in stillness
callued demons awake
trashes revealed
clogging up the mind
for hundred years or so
when in stillness
they melt away
energy recharged
vibration flows the vines
lightness comes up
eyeing n eyeing n eyeing
the mind pattern n sensation
with full awareness of which
free from cravings or aversions
to stillness and equanimity we sync
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 2:07 PM UTC
I am a
plenipotentiary
of your heart
but not your tongue
Which whips
with shout
Inflicting
all this
doubt
--
Try not to see my glaring mistakes
when uncaring I am trumpeting arrogant aches.
--
I became lost in channels of the self and now-
I have smoothed out my spikes,
inverted my aversions, diluted my delusions-
I have incrementally expanded my positive mentality.
I am the Xenolith within the conglomerate
uncomfortable with chafing sand.
Displaying dependability with the straightening of back,
gone is lithe youth's unbecoming stand.
I shall trust inappropriately and love exponentially.
I shall treat you, The Stranger-
even stranger
like family.
Apr 5, 2011
Apr 5, 2011 at 5:51 PM UTC
The sky is beautiful tonight
Lavender, salmon, and pink like blushing when someone says they love you
But it's already gone
No one will ever see the colors I just saw
And I feel like blushing
Embarrassed due to long standing aversions to sincerity
5:26 PM
From where I sit at my desk at the gym
The sky is 2 different creatures
On one side
A blood orange backlight is cut and cracked by black naked trees
On the other side
The clouds shift and bubble like fresh squeezed blackberry soda
4 guys from the basketball team practice their 3 point shots
5:51 PM
Feb 22, 2021
Feb 22, 2021 at 7:03 PM UTC
Soul not for sale
(intimate back room shows)
No closing escrow
(renters may inquire)
Fostering a new neighbourhood
(Gods fallen angels)
Million dollar men touch & tamper
(bodies of women whose stories are unknown)
Little girls playing in a park they've barely grown in to
(Lingering over men old enough to father them)
Lucifers female protagonists
(post box red lingerie cheap tattoos)
A reckless promiscuity dollar bills bleed
(hands tied to beds)
Male lovers pass through
(mediums of wives fiancées)
Aversions never self sought
(lost to the Devil)
Purified souls marked by the world
(falling like flies)
*Suffer
Suffer
Suffer
Pleading
Pleading
Pleading*
(there is no escape)
Dawn may break
(promising new light)
Kissing away melancholic madness
Still tied to the same beds.
© Sia Jane
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 5:05 PM UTC
Strangers; estranged to eachother
desensitize the soul of another
judgement & diversification -
forefront of a bad implication
you feel - so taken out of context
then you hypothesize the mind of the next
& memorize those objectified persons
but realize; these are empty aversions..
for that stranger too - is similar to you
in a complex existence, lost in the blues
faces complications,
the same symptoms of life
same alterations
of both bliss, sadness & strife
though it seems you're the cynosure
& them; the background noise
though they say,"I'm the protagonist"-
& you're just a little voice
Every stranger, every soul of your life-
whatever role-
possesses a mind as intricate as yours
a life as labyrinthine -
although not shown.
Jul 23, 2021
Jul 23, 2021 at 3:46 PM UTC
Total irrational fear, I’m
Haunted by noises and
Interred by the
Rumble belly, *** tightening,
Twitchy eyed, false alarms that
Evolve into conspiracy theories,
Even though I love every single
Nonsensical asinine fear factor…ish
Falling is now a favourite.
Eleven other aversions form a line and
An extra number comes to mind (and with it comes ‘Whoa’)
Reset the clock to zero!
Stride on, wipe your feet, step off.
Oct 6, 2017
Oct 6, 2017 at 7:32 PM UTC
Enjoying his view at a glance,
everything from the stillness of the trees,
to the bristling of leaves along the floor,
the variances in cloudy colours and the haste
with which they move.
The Birdsong called from open beak,
carried by faint whisper of the air,
heard both near to and far from his pane.
Slithers of blue like a snake out of place,
make their way around me.
The sound of adolescent class and youthful springs
are heard abundantly as laughter and converse grow
into festering harmony of contemporary sounds.
Notice how they cease to be idle, but only ever moving and
active, move in this and that way, heading
North, South, East, and West with motive and intent,
the teachers bark heard through the wall.
I pray that you note the observer through the pane,
he watches and glances, not in idle captivation, but in
simple observation. He notices their behaviour, their patterns
and movements, their groups and divisions, common attributes
and uncommon, differences in personality, not by sound. Instead,
he listens to the motions of mute lips, and silent movement,
as if it were a ballet, only music is absent from the show.
So vast is this view from the behind the pane,
artwork is created by manmade structures blended with
nature and her beauty. Pleasant are the "random" meetings of
two, in open space, such happenstance.
When in the course of circumstances changing,
the classes mix and intertwine for few moments,
I notice many, the aversions, and the attractions,
what catches eyes, and what defers them.
But come the final ringing of the bell, he
heads for the door only to return again
the next day and do as he did.
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012 at 4:14 AM UTC
you were always there
sitting in the study
rainy window pane eye sockets
persistently looking past me
like i was just someone who died
a year ago and came back to visit you
from the grave
a spirit you could save
or shove in the right direction
you were always there
presenting the necklace
like it were strung with pearls of air
like someone didnt pay
6 weeks of pay checks on it
just so some men half a world away could
walk on ocean beds
and crack the skulls
of those chattering heads
of the sea.
for each and
every bead
wrapped around your neck
ms. fleming,
you'd do well
to-
...forget that
and all other things
if i could just
have an inch of your time and gaze
i may not be this wicked
astral projection
your aversions
have yielded to my name
no i might be something else
like a guardian angel
who picks up rusty tacks
and puts out your cigarettes
who pulls up your covers
and presses lips to your cheeks
oh i could be this all
if you would for once look when i called
'susan fleming
if you can be a
pleasant host
i can be
a friendly ghost.'
Sep 16, 2010
Sep 16, 2010 at 9:35 PM UTC
Negativity breeds negativity,
Falling off of tongues, hurtful words we say.
It's lonesome in this City,
A communicable State of Decay.
Fight fire with fire,
Does that not seem absurd?
Amid this lonesome City, State...
Our precious structures burn!
God is dead, as is compassion,
Empathy as well.
Becoming anger, blind fruition,
Selfish tides due, swell.
Purge the system of aversions,
Feed the Demon's wrath.
Void of all Love's inspiration.
Another epic lapse.
Silent words upon my brow
Debate translates to lies.
Apathy takes over now,
Recognition burns my eyes.
Now that we have laid these bricks,
That pave the way to Hurt,
Repent our sins, inflict ourselves,
Return the ash to Mother, Earth.
Jun 10, 2016
Jun 10, 2016 at 5:25 PM UTC
Death is extinct
If I could give to you this frame of reference-
I would be stealing the one thing you were gifted.
This is a frame of reference that is empty;
Empty of concepts, forms, ideas, desires, aversions.
Here, the wind has a purpose; The day has lost it's course.
No destination, yet everything you wanted will be there.
This is where you are safe from other's ideas.
Here, the moment puts death into extinction.
This form you call hand, this idea you call mind-
Cannot grasp this nirvana, nor intellectualize it.
The clouds hold the answer.
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 9:14 PM UTC
Lying on the cool floor
and hoping that the locomotive
crossed our view,
we realize what the older enjoyed.
Gray stones show us
how much the landscape changed.
And too late the people wake up,
and too early the people discuss.
It was the fear and disdain
which provoked a bitterness
able to tear us apart from our friends.
It was the insanity of the visitors
which limited the peace of those faces.
It was a fool humanity
which deprived the happiness of those children.
At nine o'clock, the lights are gone out.
I come back home in a fog,
being followed by screams of loneliness
and, often, screams of panic.
At ten o'clock, I covet the sleep,
the tomorrow, the old age, but not the death!
Because even being sorrounded by madness,
I still hope a solution.
At eleven o'clock, my ravings drive me away.
Now I run the first escape from this prison,
destroying this forsaken wall.
At twelve o'clock, I delight to a deep pleasure
and I try to remember what I did in that dawn.
However, it seems to be an unreachable memory.
Inside this abyss:
aversions don't disappear,
memories don't return
and lovers don't survive.
We're the young who throw
their sorrows in the ocean.
What might be the world's ******
now is hidden
by the cruelest minds.
Bring to my feet the best of the infinity:
forgotten promises and inappropriate feelings.
From the window I watched the bricks fall
like leaves of a pleasant autumn.
It shivered the skin and silenced the screams,
screams of exaltation now.
And the escape is not needed anymore.
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 1:58 PM UTC
Confronted by a towering wall
spanning miles above me..
..I..
Get a grip! says one of my men.
it shan't be long now-
attach the hooks and wires,
and climb-!
As I stumble towards the wall
something arches fourth
from my stomach
some kind of muck or mire
comes rushing forward
and my mind disappears
Awakened by the foul stench
of burning sulfur and coal
I open my eyes, groggily
and though blurry and strained
I perceive small little hooven feet
dancing about me
Yet no fear is within me
my aversions long gone
for this sight is one
I have grown accustomed to
I live among them
pray among them
I search my soul
which is littered with
legions of these horned monsters
each having various faces
are they me?
are we you?
are we sane?
I hardly care anymore
the clutter strewn about
is what remains of my
sanity
the cobwebs attest
to just how long
I've treaded hereabouts
I'm tired...
I say good Sirs, and Madams
I am so very tired.
Shall we fetch you a cup of tea, sir?
No, get me that bottle over yonder
Yes, Sir-!
Mam, the bottle appears to be empty
Empty you say-?!
I swat away the pest
and hunt for something by which
I can use to dim the light of my vision
stampedes of friends bring me many more gifts
illusions, fantasies, various pains, and love letters
each smiling with crooked menacing teeth
they appear gifts in hand, and up to evil no doubt
Sir, shan't you take your morning brew?
Madam, I have taken it, and I am indeed due for more
With cup in hand, I ask of my friends
to lay me down and help me to sleep
using their tiny hands and arms
they pull shut my eyelids,
and as I begin to lose my vision
I perceive in the distant clouds
the saddened face of someone I once knew
frowning
as the face disappears into the moisturous clouds
I faintly remember I had something to do
or maybe somewhere to be?
However for now
I think I shall enjoy various brews and cups laden with
miseries
and I shall share them with my horned and bedeviled friends
because my body, mind, and soul
has come to very much resemble them
or perhaps they me?
Cheers.
May 16, 2021
May 16, 2021 at 2:01 PM UTC
Tell me of
Your hopes and dreams
Your beliefs and convictions
Your ambitions and aspirations
Your fantasies and expectations
Talk to me of
Your fears and disinclinations
Your hurts and suffering
Your aversions and grievances
Your trials and tribulations
Speak to me of
Everything that makes you go weak in the knees and scream in frustration
Everything that makes you who you are and who you want to be
Of all the places and things you want to go to and do
Of all the thoughts running through your head and all the feelings you hold dear in your heart
Let me be the one
To help you realise those hopes and dreams
To bask in your convictions of your beliefs
To be beside you when you reach the pinnacle of your ambitions
Let me be the one
To take you to a deeper conversation
Apr 13, 2016
Apr 13, 2016 at 11:22 AM UTC
nie potrzebuje jakiegoś głupiego
IRLANDZYKA by mówił sortia:
mowa i ten kelt niby Słowan -
o tu ochota
raczejbońka:
kaliber od chyba: więcej
wina; czy z Polakiem czy bez -
mam serdeczie dość - tyle jest wieków
znad prostym kiwaniem
o chęć - i o ile mniej niż
to co znaczy Izrael: tak samo
serdecznie krew Paltestyny: z wersją
Kroata: o o pomocy i temu oczekiwaniu
zwane: ledwie.
idiotic Irishman:
there plenty more Guinness where
your dumbfounded look came from:
culturally inadequate to recognise being rude,
and readied for extermination like vermin.
aversions to the golden mean?
well... that's what built Dublin;
fucking paddies;
******* potato patties.
how english could you ever become...
you can, quiet easily, simply hating
the Leprechauns Clover Saints:
they're born to be hated.
Sep 24, 2016
Sep 24, 2016 at 9:59 PM UTC
My Purpose Is BIGGER... !!!!!
Than To Earn BIG Figures...
For Using Rhyme Scripture...
That's WEAKER Than... Tigger... !!!!!
It's Purpose Like Fixtures...
Holds FIRM and Delivers...
Mixtures That TRIGGER...
Verse Built To FEED THINKERS...
And BEAUTIFUL Pictures...
That Linger Like Mixtures...
of.... POTENT Elixirs... !!!!!!
ACTUAL... Natural...
Thoughts That Are FACTUAL... !!!!!
Visions of LIFE...
That I Find Fuel My Mind...
To Write and Transcribe...
These... Poetic Vibes...
That Purposely FLY... !!!
Like Eagles UP HIGH... !!!!!
It's Purpose Is... RIGHT... !!!
MORE THOUGHT And Less Fights... !!!!!
More TRUST And YES... LOVE... !!!!
Instead of This Stuff...
Like... Usage of Guns...
That Takes Peoples Blood... !!!!
And LESS Ignorance... !!!!
That CLEARLY Now Runs...
From People Like Trump...
Whose Purpose Is Worthless...
And Makes People NERVOUS... !!!
Like... Internet Servers...
That Seem To Now HURT US....
Because of These PERVERTS... !!?!!
Whose Purpose HURTS Persons...
Like... ” Poisonous Serpents “... !!!!!!
My Purpose EMERGES...
To COUNTER Aversions...
That Leave People BURDENED... !!!
A Purpose That NEEDS...
To Be Neutered With SPEED... !!!!
Like Greed and Deceit...
And KILLINGS On Streets...
By... Thugs and Police...
Whose Purpose Would Seem...
To Be THAT of A Team...
Who Feed NIGHTMARISH Dreams.... !!!!!
To... Young Families.... !!!
And Older Ones TOO... !!!!!!
Actions UNCOUTH... !!!
That Give LIVING PROOF...
That Some Peoples Purpose...
Is Something That WORSENS...
Like... Funeral Sermons... !!!!!
My Usage of Letters...
Has Purpose To BETTER...
The Way That WE ARE... !!!!
Because My Words Chart...
A Way To SHOW HEART...
In Times That Are DARK... !!!
By Offering LIGHT... !!!
In These Rhymes That I Write...
Their Purpose Is BRIGHT...
Word Clever and SHARP... !!!
And ALWAYS Makes Marks...
With Those Whose Minds' Light...
Wants MORE Than The Prize...
Between Peoples' Thighs...
... Chicas' and Guys...
Whose Purpose Is WILD... !!!!!
While Mine Is Now Wise...
And Much MORE Inclined...
To Search For The HIGHS...
That... ENERGISE Life..... !!!!!
My Purpose Has Style...
And Numerous Files...
of Verse That's Observed...
From Things That I've Learned...
It's MUCH MORE Than Words...
It's More Like GOOD HERB.... !!!
That HEIGHTENS My Mind...
And Body With... " VIBES "...
With Thinking That FLIES.... !!!
ABOVE Peoples' Lies.... !!!!!
From Government Types...
Who... " POLITICISE "...
Like Gangsters Whose Purpose...
Is Simply To.... HURT US.... !?!?!
POOR EXCUSES For People... !!!
Who Seem To LIKE EVIL... !?!?!
Much More Than KNIEVEL'... !?!
I Guess That's The Way... ?
They Feel They Must Sway...
To Me They're Like Merchants...
Whose Service Is WORTHLESS... ?!?
CLOWNS In A Circus...
Who SHOULD FACE...
... INSURGENTS... !!!
Because They Are SURPLUS....
To Our.... Epidermis... !!!!!
Humans Whose MAIN Urge IS...
To Learn To SERVE A GOOD...
....... " Purpose "........
Jun 9, 2021
Jun 9, 2021 at 1:00 AM UTC
The kid next door
chases me into the night
with a smile and a spilling drink
Tonight will end alright
The kid next door
converses with wise men
who tell him how lucky he is
While I feel just as blessed
The kid next door
never took me for granted
but made me chase him too
And it was magic
But things change
and sadly,
The kid next door
lives nowhere near me
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 2:11 AM UTC
So somebody asked
me to write about me
and I'm taken aback
by the difficulty
I'm an addict in a rehab
my life has been difficult
and often it stabbed
but I've repaired in the mental
I don't watch TV
and eat mostly green
I focus on the unseen
if you know what I mean
Do people eat broccoli on pizza?
Because it sounds delicious
one topping I like is spinach
and cheese like chester cheetah
Seems you can tell a lot about a person
by what type of foods they have aversions
Ah yes, on to Hockey!
the best of all sports
It's my fav so don't knock me
It's a religion of sorts
Speaking of religion
I feel it causes division
with so many revisions
to each their OWN decision
Some think I'm insane because
I think about the other thing
often wondering what I was
and who I am beyond my thinking
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 4:27 PM UTC
Aversions ablaze like a thousand stars
I bare all the marks
The signs
The scars
Accepting the struggle and battling on
No rest for the wicked, I'll never belong
And who are you to tell me your lies
You've never seen my face
The unfading hurt in my eyes
In vulnerability there is omittance
And I forget you're all the same
A reputation of innocence was once my middle name
How can one snare rapture all my strenght
I've done enough
I relent
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 4:03 PM UTC