Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
"auras" poems
The city spearheads the futures we sincerely sold, As it pluckers your pennies and your coins of gold. I felt poor amid the auras of their fearsome metals, Cowering in the clothes of our daily struggles. I am destitute enough To bleach out the interests of my cards, To shatter your savings for a disabled future, To rummage the stock markets for apertures. Yet within you exhales tentacles of the color Yellow. Yellow as in, The scattered stars that scorch the injured sky, The mellowing voices of neon artificial lights, The apex of fire alight in frostbitten nights, And the yolk of hope my cheers rely. So while you chase the sun with your copper-clad hands, remember but this: all that glitters is not gold, It’s the color Yellow in these eyes I behold.
0
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 10:56 PM UTC
The Color Yellow
A veil, placed upon your eyes, somewhere behind them, a deep hidden mystery, lies just beyond those lights. A gentle look, glassy eyed, this night, this night is flying by. Sweat, liquor, regret; this place reeks of years and years of bitter tries. The lies you tell, masked with red. A shade of black, changes to dread. Deep inside your heart, you always carry it within. Laughter, pain, I can see it on everyone's faces. Beautiful, everybody in here, glistening, glowing, covering up what's really surfacing. Just let it out, until your ankles bleed. You can feel the music, running through your veins. Euphoria, it kicks in. She's hiding, over there in that corner, waiting to let you in. All these cold dead hearts, none of which beat the same. But we're all sitting here, standing here, coincidentally all on the same page.  We came here looking, searching for something to fit, to fill that empty place called emptiness. We hope and hope, heels clicking on the cobblestone. Laughter, music, it fills the air. But there's something, something missing here. There auras, there energy, bleeding colors, wash away onto pavement. And we don't know why, we don't know why we're all still here, dancing, laughing, waiting to disappear...blend in with the strobes, the flashes, and grins. He's waiting right over there, waiting to let you in. Her eyes covered, hidden, and you can't see the want, the look, the pain she's in. Fifty shades of him, of her, of I. When will this end? Dawn's just around the corner, and no one's left but him.  Sitting, wondering, thinking, he can still win. In one mere movement, you'd uncover her whims. Everything, everything she wants to bury, resurfaces again. Her eyes; they leak with hurt, with lust, with want, but you can't see it. Remove them, just take them off and you will see. Everything you ever wanted, is hiding right here, deep inside of me. Off to the left, under the breast, is where you'll find me. You've been holding the key all night, won't you just unlock me?  Sunglasses, it's no wonder there so expensive, but these, these were free. © 2013 Christina Jackson
0
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 3:59 PM UTC
Nightclub (prose poem?)
A veil, placed upon your eyes, somewhere behind them, a deep hidden mystery, lies just beyond those lights. A gentle look, glassy eyed, this night, this night is flying by. Sweat, liquor, regret; this place reeks of years and years of bitter tries. The lies you tell, masked with red. A shade of black, changes to dread. Deep inside your heart, you always carry it within. Laughter, pain, I can see it on everyone's faces. Beautiful, everybody in here, glistening, glowing, covering up what's really surfacing. Just let it out, until your ankles bleed. You can feel the music, running through your veins. Euphoria, it kicks in. She's hiding, over there in that corner, waiting to let you in. All these cold dead hearts, none of which beat the same. But we're all sitting here, standing here, coincidentally all on the same page.  We came here looking, searching for something to fit, to fill that empty place called emptiness. We hope and hope, heels clicking on the cobblestone. Laughter, music, it fills the air. But there's something, something missing here. There auras, there energy, bleeding colors, wash away onto pavement. And we don't know why, we don't know why we're all still here, dancing, laughing, waiting to disappear...blend in with the strobes, the flashes, and grins. He's waiting right over there, waiting to let you in. Her eyes covered, hidden, and you can't see the want, the look, the pain she's in. Fifty shades of him, of her, of I. When will this end? Dawn's just around the corner, and no one's left but him.  Sitting, wondering, thinking, he can still win. In one mere movement, you'd uncover her whims. Everything, everything she wants to bury, resurfaces again. Her eyes; they leak with hurt, with lust, with want, but you can't see it. Remove them, just take them off and you will see. Everything you ever wanted, is hiding right here, deep inside of me. Off to the left, under the breast, is where you'll find me. You've been holding the key all night, won't you just unlock me?  Sunglasses, it's no wonder there so expensive, but these, these were free. © 2013 Christina Jackson
Continue reading...
4
Sapphic sapphires glisten in the moon These ladies say that Hades makes them as dry as a sand dune Maleficent and Cruella mark their spells on their heads And quietly they tiptoe and sneakily their treads- Move with a rhythm only grace can create Enchanting are these women, seeing them is fate To be an audience member to their auras and their moves Is an opportunity that is divine, spiritually proved Indigo in color, L words leave their lips Straight and curvy bones and fat   vibrate from their hips They mesmerize, they enchant, they let their inhibitions soar Until they dance away, unhinged, and you can't see them anymore Remember this encounter, it is one that will inspire It will make you feel a type of way, it will ignite a fire
0
Feb 9, 2017
Feb 9, 2017 at 10:13 PM UTC
Ode to Sappho
Not against the peaks of protest, these aurulent banners and jasperated jaspe so so jargoon! It's like I was suddenly alive, beat-stretched out of winter neige and into the pancosmic blisses of bright and ebullient spring, plugged with an agromania to abide this new formidable friend in the aeviternal beauty of she and I togetherness. Never to spill a morsel of a minute away from us again, upon the newly conjured spirits unto us both. To be amidst a cynosure of such affiation, to be in the temperate or tropical gardens whispering about our mutual love for flowers nad lists. This that precedes us, bright colliding auras in this newfound numinous kindling of us two. Watching it, making it happen- it unfolding before me made me naseaus with excitement, dithering what our next move out to be. I just wanted to kiss her face, her cheeks, put our hands together so quickly, just to let our amorous fug fill the room with silver albuminious smoke from our breaths. Miles below this, round the Earth to other places, there are the fixtures of bright and corybantic life commoved by other nations and other poised people of the light, that I should not be idle in my desires to usher myself into this grand and briguing introduction. So she said, we will play the question game, the inquiry game, we will state the mark, draw upon deep and fantastical recall, bring from our minds the most immense truths and share them, no matter now feral, or caustic, or melancholy- they will be shared until we explode with each other, our intrigues wrapped in our perfervid and amatory excitedness for one another. Too vast with wonder to be afraid of- am I such a fiend for such resplendence. That we could be vitrified in eternity in a veil of fulgurite. So at this nightfall, this acronychal of bloviating bliss, to write and wonder, incessantly in the finest of provincial matters to settle this garden where Thetis lives to be of her, two philocalists in verdant pasture, heaped with matters of the pen and the palm, in the droves of this beautiful advesperating eve- where first I wrote to you, and then I wrote you back.
0
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 5:15 AM UTC
The Garden
Not against the peaks of protest, these aurulent banners and jasperated jaspe so so jargoon! It's like I was suddenly alive, beat-stretched out of winter neige and into the pancosmic blisses of bright and ebullient spring, plugged with an agromania to abide this new formidable friend in the aeviternal beauty of she and I togetherness. Never to spill a morsel of a minute away from us again, upon the newly conjured spirits unto us both. To be amidst a cynosure of such affiation, to be in the temperate or tropical gardens whispering about our mutual love for flowers nad lists. This that precedes us, bright colliding auras in this newfound numinous kindling of us two. Watching it, making it happen- it unfolding before me made me naseaus with excitement, dithering what our next move out to be. I just wanted to kiss her face, her cheeks, put our hands together so quickly, just to let our amorous fug fill the room with silver albuminious smoke from our breaths. Miles below this, round the Earth to other places, there are the fixtures of bright and corybantic life commoved by other nations and other poised people of the light, that I should not be idle in my desires to usher myself into this grand and briguing introduction. So she said, we will play the question game, the inquiry game, we will state the mark, draw upon deep and fantastical recall, bring from our minds the most immense truths and share them, no matter now feral, or caustic, or melancholy- they will be shared until we explode with each other, our intrigues wrapped in our perfervid and amatory excitedness for one another. Too vast with wonder to be afraid of- am I such a fiend for such resplendence. That we could be vitrified in eternity in a veil of fulgurite. So at this nightfall, this acronychal of bloviating bliss, to write and wonder, incessantly in the finest of provincial matters to settle this garden where Thetis lives to be of her, two philocalists in verdant pasture, heaped with matters of the pen and the palm, in the droves of this beautiful advesperating eve- where first I wrote to you, and then I wrote you back.
Continue reading...
1
Looking up at the full Moon the closest it comes this year out on my deck after work through my childhood telescope. A full Moon through a telescope is really something to behold; Especially when the Moon appears up to 14% larger and 30% brighter than it does on the dimmest of full Moons. - T'ai Chi basking in the Moonbath; The Sky dimly fluoresces in chilled Air as Landscape glows with moonlit Auras; This is truly a magical near-annual moment. (Supermoons happen about every 14 full Moons) I thank you; Moon and Night. I thank you; Khonsu and Nephthys. I thank you; Selene and  Nyx. I thank you; Luna and Nox Happy Supermoon 2013.
0
Jun 23, 2013
Jun 23, 2013 at 7:57 AM UTC
Happy Supermoon
To the beautiful sweet girl of my attractions. How I would love to be in intimate comfort as companions. To hold you close, look in your eyes and study each others auras radiating in illuminating shades of color.         Taste each others moist lips as we kiss, in a sign of intimate affection. Share our hearts feelings. Experience new things, and share each others wisdom; of our lives journeys as is.                Know why you feel that you have to enhance your beautiful cute face in those makeup colors.... Is it to enhance what is already beautiful? You attracted me not only in your physical elegance but your nice personality.... What you say means a lot.... For your opinions do matter! ....      I would love to have someone like you.... As a companion to care and be cared for.... Not to overwhelm your heart, but to keep it full when others pierce it with negativity.... To tickle for your laughter with and without a touch.... You and I together would make my dreams a reality.... As friends it is half complete....     My secret is revealed.... Feelings out in the open for you to decide... May this not shy you away if not get you closer.... I would like to go places to hang out as my companion/potential lover, or a close friend.... I would like to be here for you as ether or.... You as my girlfriend would flame the spark I have for you in my heart....
0
Jul 14, 2011
Jul 14, 2011 at 12:26 AM UTC
Love Letter
Close your eyes staring at the sun it’s dropping fast burnt umber runs Mountain auras dividing shadows lights the purple line between day and night Dark silhouettes sinking deep illuminates behind the promise of sleep Night stars cascading emu peeps between milky light eternally creeps Shooting stars bright inner eye sees cacophonies of colour shapes our very lives It’s dreams, it’s time it’s endless and divine this half way place all here, sublime It’s spirals, it’s dots it’s country, it’s us explaining the universe simple yet complex
0
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 6:15 AM UTC
Sun Spiral
electric ***** static shocks jump starts the heart into hyperspace pumping blood into the veins of time folding inside and outside and on top of each other like a nebulous star splash comet tail clashes in a warm hug we glow like embers in ashes...... warmth spreads like a slug of whisky in the chest, nothing is expected except it is, mind's eyes multiply like a disco argus tree sees all spheres and dimensions slowing and glowing like aurora auras in dawn smiles like the hieroglyphic clouds we graffiti all over cause we just wanna have some fun! Aw man, I'm not done. We paint the sky to make it rain good vibrations drinking aqua patience and cheshire cat laughter tartlets I'm ecstatic to be part of this ecosystem with a unjumbled mind flying high in the all-ness of the AUM ONE. Cause we all one, and that's Awe-some. A wonderful warm place with All sons daughters mothers fathers brothers sisters sinners, just humons, 2gether, 1AUM makes words redundant.
0
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013 at 11:16 AM UTC
Spontaneous Combustion of Thought Through Space-Time
i could hold all of human existence within this single cosmic groove bathing me in a flicker of fate where our auras collided into our two flames were infused within this moment we grew there was bending of Light that mended me to you and maybe i still blind myself in the brightness of that truth maybe i burned my own heart by touching you to soon but fire gives life to the stars warming the sun and the moon pain makes room for brightness the cracks have made me new in that moment i first touched you the supernova in me came to so i embrace the pain that grew i guess exploding is just what we do
0
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 3:53 PM UTC
supernova-you
you made my blood clot, so slowly and gently, coagulating beneath your faint touch. on flaxen sheets of rough cotton I watched your plants rolling their limbs out your open window. they sprawled themselves, unravelling, yearning for the gentle kiss of the suns rays. an almost ****** photosynthesis. and for you I would sprawl myself out too, and with the same eagerness absorb every scent of yours into my flesh, and drink desperately from your soul like a cacti in its first summer shower since '89. and your final gasp, with me, but a sponge for your every metaphoric suppuration, and literal secretion. and you were transfixed there, spurting auras of sin and love. a final burst of ecstasy, you soon became my anticoagulant. you seeped into my bloodstream, reversing this gentle coagulation.
0
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 7:02 AM UTC
gentle coagulation
when we met you were all pinks purples and violets. a symphony of all the colors i would never wear. entirely too tightly wound. excited about life and all it hard to offer. when we met you hated me. i was all blacks and greys and dark greens. you saw somewhere trapped under all that muck, you were the only to see this light that sat burried beneath all the mud. you wanted to change me, i didn’t want you to change. you wanted to save me, i wanted to keep you safe. from the beginning you were my priority, maybe in a different way but never less important. i tried and tried to fight you off. but you kept coming back and back and back again. i tried to keep you form getting hurt. ended up getting myself killed. you brought me back to life. now after so much time has passed, i see your pinks and purples and violets, have changed. not quite as bright as they once were. hardened and darkened by pain and suffering. but you still have that yellow core. that bright shining white effervescent light that will never go out. you took my murky walls. you white washed and painted them with love. you fixed my cracks and cuddles and filled them with your yellow. you gave me violet and it turned blue. i have navy’s and turquoise, and baby blues. all because of you when we come together, that explosion of passion, i swear our souls melt and become one. when your body touches mine the colors explore and leak and run and spill everywhere. but you make it so god **** beautiful. when our bodies meet our colors mix, they become our pinks and purples and navy and turquoise blues. our lights swirl and spin together to make a galaxy within ourselves. only for us. only for that moment. but in those moments and ones like these where our bodies connect and meet, when you above or below me, when your lying next to me, or when you lie your head in my lap to read, you explode my colors. and you always will.
0
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 6, 2016 at 1:13 AM UTC
Auras
when we met you were all pinks purples and violets. a symphony of all the colors i would never wear. entirely too tightly wound. excited about life and all it hard to offer. when we met you hated me. i was all blacks and greys and dark greens. you saw somewhere trapped under all that muck, you were the only to see this light that sat burried beneath all the mud. you wanted to change me, i didn’t want you to change. you wanted to save me, i wanted to keep you safe. from the beginning you were my priority, maybe in a different way but never less important. i tried and tried to fight you off. but you kept coming back and back and back again. i tried to keep you form getting hurt. ended up getting myself killed. you brought me back to life. now after so much time has passed, i see your pinks and purples and violets, have changed. not quite as bright as they once were. hardened and darkened by pain and suffering. but you still have that yellow core. that bright shining white effervescent light that will never go out. you took my murky walls. you white washed and painted them with love. you fixed my cracks and cuddles and filled them with your yellow. you gave me violet and it turned blue. i have navy’s and turquoise, and baby blues. all because of you when we come together, that explosion of passion, i swear our souls melt and become one. when your body touches mine the colors explore and leak and run and spill everywhere. but you make it so god **** beautiful. when our bodies meet our colors mix, they become our pinks and purples and navy and turquoise blues. our lights swirl and spin together to make a galaxy within ourselves. only for us. only for that moment. but in those moments and ones like these where our bodies connect and meet, when you above or below me, when your lying next to me, or when you lie your head in my lap to read, you explode my colors. and you always will.
Continue reading...
5
I'm seeking to amass a Collection of the World's spiritual, mythic and philosophical codices. I want to collect them out of veneration for those who came before who have tried to illuminate the Paths: The following is my library of such books of yet. Entries in bold are my recommendations; entries italicized are strongly recommended. -Old Works: **Egyptian Book of the Dead Tibetan Book of the Dead The Bhagavad Gita Euclid's Elements** Tao te Ching (I have 3 translations) I Ching (2 translations and a workbook) The Qur'an The Bible -Newer Works: Plato and a Platypus walk into a Bar: Philosophy explained through Jokes *Quadrivium: Number, Geometry, Music, & Cosmology* The Pulse of Wisdom - College Eastern Philosophy Book *Food of the Gods by Terence McKenna* The Elements of Reason - College Logic Book 1001 Perls of Buddhist Wisdom *Net of Being by Alex Grey* *Art Psalms by Alex Grey* **The Portable Nietzsche *The Red Book of Jung The Portable Jung*** The Subtle Body - Encyclopedia of chakras, auras and other personal energy systems. Who are you? - 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself -- I seek to compile this Collection not to have a nice looking bookshelf; nor do I seek to find which one is right. I seek to learn from each of these the lessons that are intrinsic in our Lives; they're all matters of perspectives. I want to compile the aspects of each philosophy with which I resonate and integrate them into my own, forging a dynamic and holistic individual philosophy. All of these books are Mystical masterpieces. All of these books provide insights to the nature of our Holy Reality. All of these books ultimately attempt to express the same ineffability. All of these books are interpreted then translated and interpreted again. The way I see it, I may as well do it for myself; draw my own conclusions: Think for myself.
0
Jul 5, 2013
Jul 5, 2013 at 4:13 AM UTC
Mythic, Philosophical Codices
I'm seeking to amass a Collection of the World's spiritual, mythic and philosophical codices. I want to collect them out of veneration for those who came before who have tried to illuminate the Paths: The following is my library of such books of yet. Entries in bold are my recommendations; entries italicized are strongly recommended. -Old Works: **Egyptian Book of the Dead Tibetan Book of the Dead The Bhagavad Gita Euclid's Elements** Tao te Ching (I have 3 translations) I Ching (2 translations and a workbook) The Qur'an The Bible -Newer Works: Plato and a Platypus walk into a Bar: Philosophy explained through Jokes *Quadrivium: Number, Geometry, Music, & Cosmology* The Pulse of Wisdom - College Eastern Philosophy Book *Food of the Gods by Terence McKenna* The Elements of Reason - College Logic Book 1001 Perls of Buddhist Wisdom *Net of Being by Alex Grey* *Art Psalms by Alex Grey* **The Portable Nietzsche *The Red Book of Jung The Portable Jung*** The Subtle Body - Encyclopedia of chakras, auras and other personal energy systems. Who are you? - 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself -- I seek to compile this Collection not to have a nice looking bookshelf; nor do I seek to find which one is right. I seek to learn from each of these the lessons that are intrinsic in our Lives; they're all matters of perspectives. I want to compile the aspects of each philosophy with which I resonate and integrate them into my own, forging a dynamic and holistic individual philosophy. All of these books are Mystical masterpieces. All of these books provide insights to the nature of our Holy Reality. All of these books ultimately attempt to express the same ineffability. All of these books are interpreted then translated and interpreted again. The way I see it, I may as well do it for myself; draw my own conclusions: Think for myself.
Continue reading...
47
I’ve been thinking about hands a lot lately and how fingerprints are like permanent, foreshadowing tree rings etched onto our beings; I wonder if the number of rings on my palms have any correlation to the number of years I’ll live or the number of years he’ll live or the number of years that she lived. I’ve been thinking a lot about         life lines        and        heart lines and if there is any stock to be found in palmistry; I wonder how my fate line got to be so muddled with my luck line.   I see my life the way a clairvoyant would: in cut-up and choppy strips of film— I should have seen the omens, I should have read the smoke signals, I should have recognized the cards. Act One began on a waning crescent moon and continued until its gluttonous belly had swollen with light; I thought to myself that craniums made of gallium often melt the quickest, that blood filled with plutonium often flows the slowest.  I would have given my body up to the pathologist free of charge, would have let him dig his hands into my entrails for some sort of divination, some sort of revelation— I was never told to beware the Ides of June nor the Kalends of November. Act Two began with the birth of Jack Frost and has been continuing without intermission for the past four celestial cycles; I thought to myself that heart valves made of sodium polyacrylate often love the most, that sinkholes disguised as fingertips often feel the deepest.  He whispered in my ear cliched words about not believing in God, but how I made him feel blessed, and in that moment I knew he was the oneiromantic being that had been shadowing my dreams since 1996— I guess you could say that, sometimes, I believe in love. There is an art to fortune-telling there is an art to hands there is an art to bones there is an art to dreams, and over the years, I have found them coinciding more often than not.  In my sleep, in notebooks, in irises, in mirrors, in poetry, in small little sighs. I do not know if I believe in fate or destiny, in God, in auras, or in the Blood Moon Prophecy, but I do know that I believe in you.  I find myself writing sappy verses and smelling your shirts and I do not know if it is because I miss you or if it is because I’m bored or if they’ve somehow                        mergedintothesamething.   I’ve been wondering a lot lately about where you show up on my hands; about where he showed up and where she showed up.  I want to know which lines bisect and which lines fall short; I want to know if the resemblance between         mother        and         daughter continues into that of my palm lines.  I want to know if my life line matches hers and if my heart line is even worth giving away— find me in your crystal ball, make me your sacrificed animal, look for my body in the stars, and we will know that         it was all made to be.
0
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 7:02 PM UTC
Haruspex
I’ve been thinking about hands a lot lately and how fingerprints are like permanent, foreshadowing tree rings etched onto our beings; I wonder if the number of rings on my palms have any correlation to the number of years I’ll live or the number of years he’ll live or the number of years that she lived. I’ve been thinking a lot about         life lines        and        heart lines and if there is any stock to be found in palmistry; I wonder how my fate line got to be so muddled with my luck line.   I see my life the way a clairvoyant would: in cut-up and choppy strips of film— I should have seen the omens, I should have read the smoke signals, I should have recognized the cards. Act One began on a waning crescent moon and continued until its gluttonous belly had swollen with light; I thought to myself that craniums made of gallium often melt the quickest, that blood filled with plutonium often flows the slowest.  I would have given my body up to the pathologist free of charge, would have let him dig his hands into my entrails for some sort of divination, some sort of revelation— I was never told to beware the Ides of June nor the Kalends of November. Act Two began with the birth of Jack Frost and has been continuing without intermission for the past four celestial cycles; I thought to myself that heart valves made of sodium polyacrylate often love the most, that sinkholes disguised as fingertips often feel the deepest.  He whispered in my ear cliched words about not believing in God, but how I made him feel blessed, and in that moment I knew he was the oneiromantic being that had been shadowing my dreams since 1996— I guess you could say that, sometimes, I believe in love. There is an art to fortune-telling there is an art to hands there is an art to bones there is an art to dreams, and over the years, I have found them coinciding more often than not.  In my sleep, in notebooks, in irises, in mirrors, in poetry, in small little sighs. I do not know if I believe in fate or destiny, in God, in auras, or in the Blood Moon Prophecy, but I do know that I believe in you.  I find myself writing sappy verses and smelling your shirts and I do not know if it is because I miss you or if it is because I’m bored or if they’ve somehow                        mergedintothesamething.   I’ve been wondering a lot lately about where you show up on my hands; about where he showed up and where she showed up.  I want to know which lines bisect and which lines fall short; I want to know if the resemblance between         mother        and         daughter continues into that of my palm lines.  I want to know if my life line matches hers and if my heart line is even worth giving away— find me in your crystal ball, make me your sacrificed animal, look for my body in the stars, and we will know that         it was all made to be.
Continue reading...
67
in 2012 i experienced an incident with a rifle. my friend spinned it around and hit me in the face. the hit was hard enough to break my nose and make me fly backwards and land on the back of my head. after that i started having seizures. cluster seizures which mean seizures back to back. they have to be stopped by iv or i can go into status epilepticus meaning continued or back to back seizures that can **** people. there have been several times where my heart has stopped or i stopped breathing from it. its hard to live with. soooo many pills, and doctors, specialists to help diagnose me. just about a month ago i was diagnosed with tbi (traumatic brain injury) before i was diagnosed i was so upset with everything. my health my relationship, my family problems. it just piled up so i decided to numb myself with drugs and alcohol. i no longer can do that because the last time i did i woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. i have right hemisphere disfunction and it effects my motor skills, speech, memory, decision making, confusion, and at this point the doctors say that my memory and confusion is dementia. sometimes i try to tell myself i don't need help, im fine, i don't need anyone, or that the doctors made a mistake. but they didn't and that was proven to me today when i saw my eeg, and mri.  i have built up white matter in my brain. and it only gets worse . i can never regain anything ive lost but i can learn how deal with it and move on from now. i can never be independent in the part of just living alone. i would like to marry the man of my dreams but i don't think i want to put him through all of this. he would have to take care of me when i get sick, and i get sick often due to my weak immune system. one hit in the face and my whole body went out of whack. we also recently discovered that i have a bundle branch block in my heart which means it is a condition in which there's a delay or obstruction along the pathway that electrical impulses travel to make your heart beat. i have a dog that can smell my auras which are mild seizures like warnings that a big one will come. but he can only do so much . squeeze under my head and bark for help.
0
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 10:31 PM UTC
my diagnosis
in 2012 i experienced an incident with a rifle. my friend spinned it around and hit me in the face. the hit was hard enough to break my nose and make me fly backwards and land on the back of my head. after that i started having seizures. cluster seizures which mean seizures back to back. they have to be stopped by iv or i can go into status epilepticus meaning continued or back to back seizures that can **** people. there have been several times where my heart has stopped or i stopped breathing from it. its hard to live with. soooo many pills, and doctors, specialists to help diagnose me. just about a month ago i was diagnosed with tbi (traumatic brain injury) before i was diagnosed i was so upset with everything. my health my relationship, my family problems. it just piled up so i decided to numb myself with drugs and alcohol. i no longer can do that because the last time i did i woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. i have right hemisphere disfunction and it effects my motor skills, speech, memory, decision making, confusion, and at this point the doctors say that my memory and confusion is dementia. sometimes i try to tell myself i don't need help, im fine, i don't need anyone, or that the doctors made a mistake. but they didn't and that was proven to me today when i saw my eeg, and mri.  i have built up white matter in my brain. and it only gets worse . i can never regain anything ive lost but i can learn how deal with it and move on from now. i can never be independent in the part of just living alone. i would like to marry the man of my dreams but i don't think i want to put him through all of this. he would have to take care of me when i get sick, and i get sick often due to my weak immune system. one hit in the face and my whole body went out of whack. we also recently discovered that i have a bundle branch block in my heart which means it is a condition in which there's a delay or obstruction along the pathway that electrical impulses travel to make your heart beat. i have a dog that can smell my auras which are mild seizures like warnings that a big one will come. but he can only do so much . squeeze under my head and bark for help.
Continue reading...
2
I take a deep breath I feel the deep heat hug my torso He loves me like an ****** on the front patio It's coming, that sense of hazy He brushes the hair off my cheeks Kissing me My heart beats I am power He is lust We push for trust Settling with love Our time is surrendering So let's keep ******* Until night is bright and we're to tired to fight The presence of our auras is frightening I keep biting We're ****** into dying but the rush is exciting
0
Jul 1, 2016
Jul 1, 2016 at 7:06 PM UTC
Not tonight
Light waves, frequencies, and distorted thoughts. Aligned with misperceptions. Auras tainted with beings of another stage. My duality cracks into a million faces. Astral physicists of higher realms. Who needs a doctor when you have perfectly good shamans? Green monsters, unseen to the naked eye. I remain broken as twisted images carry me along the sea of paranoia.
0
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 2:32 AM UTC
Are you sure you're not crazy?
Life is ambient colours, We are shades in the spectrum The light bends around us, We are aura upon life Brightness, Transparency, Illuminated Are we upon the world, we are But like a prism, moods can change From one to another, a less bleak Aura can blend with situations And once vibrant can Diminish Subside Uninspired Life can drag you down, Became a shadow of our Former self, Our ambient colours of life Can brighten up others days, Or drag others down, We have Auras of colours that Can be as illuminated as any day, Or swallow us in the gloom, We are easel, a mixture of colours, Each slightly changing to the moods life plays..
0
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 6:40 AM UTC
Ambient Colours Of Life
In a crowd of familiars I pass through of proust effect lingers and someone greets me. I see you at the dead of night You of I thought long gone. It just gives back the stare. As its right hand lifts with auras cast in awe, energy flows through my spine, I helplessly mirror what it did - It points itself, Then at me. Spirits spell a curse or divine, You of I thought killed, Vanished into lucid flow of energy. Dust permeates and whispers my ear, I never leave.
0
Aug 4, 2022
Aug 4, 2022 at 9:09 AM UTC
Talisman
Floating, Above my body   Questioning my own Reality Harmony surrounds me peaceful tranquility emanating, all encompassing auras of reverie Atmosphere defies my shape I will undefine Shapeless (be ethereal) Nameless (nonexistance) I am stuck fast asleep now Lost in a pensive meditative state My third eye is awakened Liberation from cyclic existence (x2) I am washed with zen Cleansing me of my own sins Real  Bliss exists it's intrinsic From One we stem As One we'll find our way No more pain emotions unfold No more pain, No more straying Open Your mind Focus New light (Floating above my own body)
0
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 2:06 PM UTC
Ego Death
as the rush comes on the dance floor it envelopes me beats rising up my spine and we are all one pulsating              beautiful body moving                                      losing inhibition               as we spin and writhe            expressing ourselves         to that vibration embraced and surrounded by the flickering           tangible sparks                 light we can almost catch                         in our fingers and mouths                    eyes like stars or closed in our        own private mantras entranced by rhythm minds in haze untouched auras in colors a-blaze scintillating in the dark moved by our own inner cadence, we are all bonded through         electric notes downbeats alive in quickening liquid metal We inhale that invisible sense of smoky escape no thinking needed but soul's center awake So rescue me at  least for the night wrap me in bliss just bring it on           an accent of sound                   as the dam bursts           in spiritual ******         of musical flow as we re-connect to ourselves in angelic dark                glow
0
Feb 16, 2017
Feb 16, 2017 at 6:41 PM UTC
smoky rush
what is this the sound of a voice a faint crackle over the line burning icicle dipped into ink of my dark zipped in a fracture            through space woven in time the sound of it            penetrates a heated          arctic zing of light into the soul and your words caress places that would not be reached in life's daily hold I would look into your eyes my blues to yours two vast oceans never ending This might express the divinity of the word "love" This might express a fraction of the feeling                 and this alone could be all consuming but the real expression would be my mouth devouring yours       my tongue exploring your lips and all that's inside my starlight infusing your being as we press into the silken matter as the levity of skin that brushes like silk as your actual saliva and *** are my nourishment, like heaven's milk and our cells ignite in slow movement as we gasp and sigh the air around us invisible velvet I want beyond internet I want beyond a small, mirrored screen I need to drink your luster as we inhale the soft, molten folds as we break open and drink deep inner liquids as we crack and the flow of the       electric river slides     through and within, intermingling auras tingling Just take me,       already let me feel the imprint of your fingers upon my wrists let your kisses mark my secret spaces Rush into me as a river before we   simultaneously          combust for if I have to hear your vocal chords one more time I will     explode into      fragments of      crystallized                   dust
0
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 3:54 PM UTC
beyond screens
what is this the sound of a voice a faint crackle over the line burning icicle dipped into ink of my dark zipped in a fracture            through space woven in time the sound of it            penetrates a heated          arctic zing of light into the soul and your words caress places that would not be reached in life's daily hold I would look into your eyes my blues to yours two vast oceans never ending This might express the divinity of the word "love" This might express a fraction of the feeling                 and this alone could be all consuming but the real expression would be my mouth devouring yours       my tongue exploring your lips and all that's inside my starlight infusing your being as we press into the silken matter as the levity of skin that brushes like silk as your actual saliva and *** are my nourishment, like heaven's milk and our cells ignite in slow movement as we gasp and sigh the air around us invisible velvet I want beyond internet I want beyond a small, mirrored screen I need to drink your luster as we inhale the soft, molten folds as we break open and drink deep inner liquids as we crack and the flow of the       electric river slides     through and within, intermingling auras tingling Just take me,       already let me feel the imprint of your fingers upon my wrists let your kisses mark my secret spaces Rush into me as a river before we   simultaneously          combust for if I have to hear your vocal chords one more time I will     explode into      fragments of      crystallized                   dust
Continue reading...
90
She smelled of wild lavender and deep magicks, The scent hanging in the air like a golden silence, I'm trying to hold tightly yet composure is first to dissolve, Senses fall one by one until no dominoes are left, Stop staring, act natural and crumble on the inside, Don't speak, reserve your efforts for a smile, Blown fuse serviced from the under-wing like vertigo in my veins, and neatly betwixt two fingers twirl a cotton drapery, Framed in silk halo, enshrouding like auras in a Milky Way of phantasmagoria. Until my thoughts become in summary and each breathe becomes shorter than the last. The artistry of her elegance like sleek fine line-work on vintage paper and I'm ... feather light. And in those tresses I'd seen that sheen before, in the ripple of calm ocean waves, and in auburn at sunset. I'd seen that gloss in her eyes perched upon petals as morning dew and rain upon windows in my quiet times, Between the silhouetting slopes of her contours as dunes upon the horizon, there's an eclipse in her lips that would not speak in any less than measured prosody nor kiss without dreamscape grandeur.
0
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 17, 2017 at 8:40 PM UTC
A Conflagration of Butterflies.
. Starlit whispers woven through sunset auras upon a moonglow butterfly’s wings, enchant the horizon in uttered silhouettes cascading ‘neath quivering heavens As fireflies dance creating flickering constellations on a canvas painted in evergreen breeze promises and magnolia longings, effervescent dreamscapes beckon I follow silently, gazing into the soft light of yellow Jasmine’s reflective forevers, breathing in fragrances of a beauty that can only bloom within your twilight smile
0
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 11:46 AM UTC
Twilight Smile
Sometimes I believe madness is wonderful. To become lost in a narrow hall of ivy curves and circles. To close your eyes and walk the steady miles in your mind. The grasp of old faded rubber as the rollercoaster lifts, tosses, and twists. Seeing the euphoric feelings of someone float into the air in colorful auras. Normailty is not reality unless you believe it so. You may only be dreaming. Real life could be an enticing parallel dimension where you walk on your hands, and speak with your feet. Eyebrows made of sugar, noses made of stone, hats that sing to rhythm, dresses that shrink and grow. Why live as a normal person? Strange, Odd, Weird, Mad, Crazy and I have more fun.
0
Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 2:05 AM UTC
Have I Gone Mad?
key words i don't want to use in a poem: demon, love, father, permeating my insides, **** ******* **** and every other word that seem to be used by everyone cliche including my story and poetry and real feelings tonight i finally realized i was beautiful in all my glory in my pain my lack thereof my inability to write poetry the past four years despite watching and observing and hoping and imaging and picturing hopelessly in my inability to feel relatable in my inability to conform to anything that appears to be a trend in my safe bubble in my head in my mother's arms in my demons in my loves in my father in my permeated insides in my ***** in my goddamns, in my ***** in me. i am beautiful. and i will forget, so please throw compliments and pitty parties my way because that's what i've remembered throughout my days not the night that i was reminded that poetry empowers me on a cold night in new york city for the first time when amazing auras of poets, and women surrounded me just another day for them but not for me that opened doors i've been trying to figure out how to open for quite some time this on the last day of march of women's history month of the beginning of april of poetry month of liberation of beauty of me. i truly felt beautiful today with help but not from you.
0
Apr 20, 2013
Apr 20, 2013 at 2:12 AM UTC
my first time