Again, the face that passes me
With the same care-worn fatigue
His lips are pursed, dark burgundy
His hair flaming maize, his eyes whatever that’s left of the sky
Again, the clock strikes dawn as the stars cleared
He and I, we work hard, for a promotion
I see sparrows playing hopscotch on the electric wires
Summer steals his memory
woods burns out putrid whiteness in his trodden path
He and I, we cut sleep, drink cheap coffee
I see sparrows die skewered, their heads smashed in by the bleached windows
The sun catches them, clip their wings
He and I, sweating like machines in our cubicles
When he comes back to me, his hair singed with crude oil, the clouds are silent
I can’t hear him through the lisp of my nightmare
Hands, hands that typed on keyboards, that tied ropes, that sorted papers, that handled raw meat
Fingers, uncut nails, leaves that sap veins dry in my arms
He, the Icarus I picture outside my office window
I, follow after Dante, as the week descends down to Monday
Nov 9, 2020
Nov 9, 2020 at 10:06 PM UTC
So it ends. Life
After I heard your Good News. I said —
I had to step out.
My chest heaves.
Left everything inside.
Passport. ID. Savings.
I said: Wait, I will be back soon.
Eyes said. You broke my heart.
Everything is yours.
Do with them whatever you please.
You don’t get it. You smiled.
I can’t wait for tomorrow. You said.
I said: Sure tomorrow.
Do you not see the cracks in my smile.
The fissures of where it’s broken.
Inside my wrinkles of two decades chasing, now lost.
Step out into the cutting air
Step in out of breath in my car in a weather so fair
Tears slithering past sniveling grovel ground
I use everything I own
to buy a ticket for Elsewhere
I lived like nothing. Eating scraps.
Days clone into nights.
I dreamt of nothing.
Bug bites and frosts rise.
A good news it is.
So it goes, I left
Haven’t turned back for twenty years.
You come back to me in dashes
Fractured sun streams
Gregorian chants
I say.
I said.
Oct 16, 2020
Oct 16, 2020 at 11:23 PM UTC
America, land of the free
Is it wild sarcasm or exclusive pedigree?
Things are getting better
Certainly it is for you
But what about your neighbors
Things will get better
Said street walkers collect loot and spoils
All you ever want is money, designer bags
As bystanders gazed in cold blood
What is eternal is never owned
My years as an outsider has shown me:
To love even if it is unrequited
To question incessantly
To see the humans inside the systems
To never take Truth for granted
What makes America great?
I’m saying it not to flatter or frame
Why did so many immigrants rush in?
It‘s not what the ‘has been’, the ‘is’ that matter
It’s the ‘can be’, the ´will be’, the ‘shall be’
The Dream, the Pride, the Fearless
The organizers, activists, writers, artists
Grassroots, gathered for a common good
The pearls of blaze unstrung from the Statue’s torched hand
East to West, ideas spun and in good faith, left human wills to run
As long as you chase down the horizon, track down the rails of Apollonian glory
There in Liberty you shall be found
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020 at 12:29 AM UTC
Since that day, I’ve been silent
sounds have died between my dented teeth
memories churned in gratifying thoughts
disgrace roared in the corridors of my ears
from that day forward, every lie and curse you hurled back
I am as quiet as the epilogue of time
abiding my narratives, my past beliefs
Waiting my turn, sharpening my words
Jun 18, 2020
Jun 18, 2020 at 11:36 PM UTC
Listening to your music makes me very bored
So I headed downtown for the things I can’t afford
I walked into the crowded lake till my feet got sored
If the traffic questioned me I’d say I was lured
For a glass of ice and an old album I stored
It made four. I listened till the choir singers broke their last vocal chord.
For years they trademarked desire, eventually it topped the Billboard
the train got jammed midway, again this team had scored
I didn’t say anything; I even signed the peace accord
All the piano keys marched out my door, saying ‘cursed was my Lord!’
I couldn’t sing well, but I walked behind them with a sword
Only my guitar slept soundly; at midnight it even snored
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 5:42 PM UTC
You simply looked at her,
how the lights play upon her color
Her hair, color of fresh rye,
Her eyes, doppelgängers of morning sky
Her skin, pristine and pure.
It was all there, written upon their enchanted eyes
It was all here, echoed in your doubtful heart
Upon that stage, carpeted in red
A voice sang and between glances you realized
Those heels of diamonds won't fit you
This dress of this shade of aqua
Is made for her, will match with her eyes
This necklace, segments of diamonds
Is designed for her, will match her spotless skin
These applause, smelling of suburbs
Is waiting for her, will see their daughters in her
You didn't look deep enough,
your thoughts sunk along with the rest of you
your darker complexion, shorter figure, narrower eyes
If you have a daughter you will tell her
she is not made for this, the world is not hers.
So when they ask whence
they should point the spotlights to
When her eyes meeting yours,
smiling, always smiling.
'I think you should go', you said
the better choice, better voice,
walk perfectly upon stages
created by people like you.
Even her pictures will look nicer
But I saw you far off and I knew,
she is no longer a person but an idol for you
she is everything you wish you could be
she fits exactly in the corset of your insecurity
Because you are the one
writing the script, moving the chairs
working late nights, shifting the gears,
cooking the food, perfecting her looks
until every second of her is yours
until your beauty drains into hers
May 2, 2019
May 2, 2019 at 2:04 AM UTC
Melodious, luminous
a small plumage of sounds
Found you, fond of you
The first string laid across the back of Spring, you sing
till my eyes grow rusted and my limbs frost with moss,
you perch still upon the branches of my broken fingers,
missing not a beat, a note, a loss.
*
Sing for this sunken world continuously,
my one and only
soloist
Apr 13, 2019
Apr 13, 2019 at 1:01 PM UTC
I exist; morning oasis,
Counting down to the new year.
Insomnia hits.
All- Nighter.
Writing, reading until dawn.
I can't sleep, voices.
: )
I talk, I laugh,
why am I here, how did I become-
Darkness pools. Scars of light.
I rose into the earth.
: )
I'm fine, happy
what do you mean?
No, that really is me.
I pulled my teeth out.
: )
Have you seen loneliness? With dark circular eyes.
This red air smells sickeningly sweet.
Limbs over there, like my store bought lilies,
freshly cut.
: )
What is sad is this,
that you're forever happy,
forever right, forever free,
in the shadows,
beneath your sightless dreams
: )
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 8:45 PM UTC
It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.
Quiet,
At first.
Slow,
Seeping, dripping.
I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.
It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.
Gently,
For now,
Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.
‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.
It settles in,
Getting comfortable.
Getting louder,
And louder.
Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.
‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.
Claws in,
Insidious.
Screaming,
24/7.
Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.
‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.
Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.
Blossoming pain,
With every beat.
Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.
Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’
Oct 15, 2018
Oct 15, 2018 at 6:34 PM UTC
i wrote you
a letter every day
letters to tell you
just how i feel
written in neat, curved
writing i told you
just how sweet
i thought you were
how you made my heart
glow
letters in which i wrote
with various colors of ink
pouring out my whole being
to you
i wrote you
a letter every day.
i wrote you letters in which
i told you how you made me
bloom.
eventually
i found myself
pressing harder on
the paper
than i had before.
creating tears in them
similar in shape
and size
as the ones
inside of me.
i began to send
letters
with creases
and bumps
and stains
splattered with tears
pouring
from my eyes
as i wrote
the anger
bubbling within me.
my last letter
addressed to you
contained
no words
but was blank.
because
i had none that
could reach
as far
and deep
into the cracks
of my
heart
to describe
just
what you
had left
of me.
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 11:48 PM UTC