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"attachment" poems
It's not love that leads to disappointment But rather attachment. -- Eleanor
0
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 10:55 PM UTC
Disappointment
I've been sleeping in odd places next to a ***** blanket on the floor of this cold apartment. I get little sleep because my insomnia keeps saying ridiculous **** and its starting to scare me. I find myself frozen when he asks me Do you think you know yourself He tells me I care too much about the answers I tell him he isn't very good company. He tells me I try too hard for others that I'm only going to get my heart broken. I tell him it's still worth it He crawls closer to the couch and impersonates my crying. I've been sleeping in odd places next to a confused womanizer on the bed that can't stop squeaking. They never look at me directly they can't afford to find attachment under these eyes of mine when it's only the cuffing season I've been sleeping in odd places next to my anxiety on the floor of my mind.   I'm clutching onto these old photographs like little snippets of my life I'm trying to piece myself together with all the bad that I have done So I'll cut all these photos Keep some to collage myself And make some meaning of it all I've been sleeping in odd places Under the Tennessee stars Swaying in my hammock I hear the fire crackle And I know this is a photo I'll keep for myself
0
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 10, 2017 at 8:04 PM UTC
another december
The most important things in life are often those we have to choose from at critical times.  They very often represent and determine the course our life will take and to what extent we have in controlling or shaping it.  With whatever choice we make, opportunities arise and by making the most of these we realise the relative benefits to be gained or otherwise.  Through our committment and willingness to achieve a goal, irrespective of what obstacles there may be or we come across, we move forward and progress is made in our endeavour.  If the goal is something we have set our mind and heart on whatever setbacks or obstacles are encountered should then be taken to be the hurdles to overcome. By repeated experience we learn the necessary disciplines with which to train or involve our mind and body to reach our goal. When we recognise and forego or sacrifice certain habits that are not conducive to our overall progress we release more energy by which to accomplish our end.  By sustained right effort we put in motion the train of events that will bring about the right results, but we should not be too attached to the fruits thereof.  Too much attachment is a cause of blindness, disappointment and suffering.  However with the right mental attitudes including positive thinking and actions we should learn from and leave behind past failures by always striving onwards to our desired objective or set goal. The best way to achieve this end is to include in some way the benefit and good of all those concerned whether they be friend or otherwise which will not be easy but will exhibit a spirit of high ethical standards and character and contribute to endearing oneself to others. _______________________________________________________________
0
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 25, 2012 at 4:28 PM UTC
Prose: Achieving Our Goal
The most important things in life are often those we have to choose from at critical times.  They very often represent and determine the course our life will take and to what extent we have in controlling or shaping it.  With whatever choice we make, opportunities arise and by making the most of these we realise the relative benefits to be gained or otherwise.  Through our committment and willingness to achieve a goal, irrespective of what obstacles there may be or we come across, we move forward and progress is made in our endeavour.  If the goal is something we have set our mind and heart on whatever setbacks or obstacles are encountered should then be taken to be the hurdles to overcome. By repeated experience we learn the necessary disciplines with which to train or involve our mind and body to reach our goal. When we recognise and forego or sacrifice certain habits that are not conducive to our overall progress we release more energy by which to accomplish our end.  By sustained right effort we put in motion the train of events that will bring about the right results, but we should not be too attached to the fruits thereof.  Too much attachment is a cause of blindness, disappointment and suffering.  However with the right mental attitudes including positive thinking and actions we should learn from and leave behind past failures by always striving onwards to our desired objective or set goal. The best way to achieve this end is to include in some way the benefit and good of all those concerned whether they be friend or otherwise which will not be easy but will exhibit a spirit of high ethical standards and character and contribute to endearing oneself to others. _______________________________________________________________
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4
Beautiful summer day. You know you're gonna die that's why you know no joy unless religion, tv, stories, sports matter. For men like us dying's easy, it's living that's hard. And since dying's much like living, that's hard too. There's some contentment in letting community decide your place in it. A good day to die, the Apaches say. Can't stop the quince from blossoming or my sons from smoking, speeding. The best that can be done or said's a blessing. Less tv, less guessing about the effects of your anger unless you want to be an angry man forever. Becoming knowledgeable is the best defense against your insignificance. OK about being alone. Alive, almost sure of it. Whether I'm a visitor to my life or the actual owner. Mature poets steal, most are masturbators. There are a million poets, I'm poet #500K. Plenty of mysteries, infinite philosophies, prayers, laws and unwritten rules. That's why we go to school, life's complicated. All I do not know: ATP, probabilities, the glorious revolution, meiosis and mitosis and all I'll never see, the bottom of the ocean, the palm at the end of the mind, a wolverine. Forget-me-not, is that all I want? To get lucky, you gotta be careful first. To be great, you gotta be willing to sound BAD. In last night’s movie, a young writer and an older, married with children French woman fall in love. They did not meet during a village massacre and money is no object, Manhattan. But after everything has happened she cannot leave her children, not even for love, because of love, the love that brooks no serendipity. In the subsequent late night movie, a wealthy altruistic doctor arranges for the ****** of his neurotic concubine. His guilt provides us with an opportunity to consider the concepts of faith and forgiveness, that all will be well in the end after a period of meaningless suffering.
0
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 6, 2017 at 5:21 AM UTC
Aging as a Spiritual Practice
Beautiful summer day. You know you're gonna die that's why you know no joy unless religion, tv, stories, sports matter. For men like us dying's easy, it's living that's hard. And since dying's much like living, that's hard too. There's some contentment in letting community decide your place in it. A good day to die, the Apaches say. Can't stop the quince from blossoming or my sons from smoking, speeding. The best that can be done or said's a blessing. Less tv, less guessing about the effects of your anger unless you want to be an angry man forever. Becoming knowledgeable is the best defense against your insignificance. OK about being alone. Alive, almost sure of it. Whether I'm a visitor to my life or the actual owner. Mature poets steal, most are masturbators. There are a million poets, I'm poet #500K. Plenty of mysteries, infinite philosophies, prayers, laws and unwritten rules. That's why we go to school, life's complicated. All I do not know: ATP, probabilities, the glorious revolution, meiosis and mitosis and all I'll never see, the bottom of the ocean, the palm at the end of the mind, a wolverine. Forget-me-not, is that all I want? To get lucky, you gotta be careful first. To be great, you gotta be willing to sound BAD. In last night’s movie, a young writer and an older, married with children French woman fall in love. They did not meet during a village massacre and money is no object, Manhattan. But after everything has happened she cannot leave her children, not even for love, because of love, the love that brooks no serendipity. In the subsequent late night movie, a wealthy altruistic doctor arranges for the ****** of his neurotic concubine. His guilt provides us with an opportunity to consider the concepts of faith and forgiveness, that all will be well in the end after a period of meaningless suffering.
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42
Freedom from hunger and freedom from pain freedom from loss and so freedom from gain. Freedom to give and freedom to share freedom from want and that of despair. Freedom to think and freedom to know freedom to achieve and freedom to grow. Freedom from ******* and freedom of liberation freedom from ignorance and any unknown situation. Freedom to come and freedom to leave freedom to stay and freedom to conceive. Freedom from struggle and freedom of ease freedom to enjoy and the capacity to please. Freedom from failure and freedom of success freedom from denial and freedom of access. Freedom from illusion and freedom of reality freedom to become what we are in actuality. Freedom to live and freedom to die freedom to laugh and freedom to cry. Freedom to speak and freedom to listen freedom to act based on a wise decision. Freedom from hate and freedom of love freedom of below and freedom of above. Freedom of the past and freedom of the present freedom of the future and what it can represent. Freedom from war and freedom of peace freedom to begin and freedom to cease. Freedom from sickness and freedom of health freedom from poverty and mishandled wealth. Freedom from wrong and freedom being right freedom of the day and freedom of the night. Freedom to choose and freedom to reject freedom to imagine what there is to expect. Freedom from lust and freedom from greed freedom from anger and freedom from breed. Freedom from jealousy and freedom from pride freedom from within and freedom from outside. Freedom of always not having anything to hide. Freedom from space and also freedom from time freedom from attachment and freedom from crime Freedom to work and freedom to play freedom to believe and freedom to pray. Freedom to experience a rebirth someday. Freedom from the body and freedom from the mind freedom  from the ego and freedom from being blind. Freedom of transcendence being of the spiritual kind. Universal freedom is eternal and infinite bliss we should all therefore be able to realise this.
0
Nov 21, 2010
Nov 21, 2010 at 1:23 AM UTC
Universal Freedom Is.....
Freedom from hunger and freedom from pain freedom from loss and so freedom from gain. Freedom to give and freedom to share freedom from want and that of despair. Freedom to think and freedom to know freedom to achieve and freedom to grow. Freedom from ******* and freedom of liberation freedom from ignorance and any unknown situation. Freedom to come and freedom to leave freedom to stay and freedom to conceive. Freedom from struggle and freedom of ease freedom to enjoy and the capacity to please. Freedom from failure and freedom of success freedom from denial and freedom of access. Freedom from illusion and freedom of reality freedom to become what we are in actuality. Freedom to live and freedom to die freedom to laugh and freedom to cry. Freedom to speak and freedom to listen freedom to act based on a wise decision. Freedom from hate and freedom of love freedom of below and freedom of above. Freedom of the past and freedom of the present freedom of the future and what it can represent. Freedom from war and freedom of peace freedom to begin and freedom to cease. Freedom from sickness and freedom of health freedom from poverty and mishandled wealth. Freedom from wrong and freedom being right freedom of the day and freedom of the night. Freedom to choose and freedom to reject freedom to imagine what there is to expect. Freedom from lust and freedom from greed freedom from anger and freedom from breed. Freedom from jealousy and freedom from pride freedom from within and freedom from outside. Freedom of always not having anything to hide. Freedom from space and also freedom from time freedom from attachment and freedom from crime Freedom to work and freedom to play freedom to believe and freedom to pray. Freedom to experience a rebirth someday. Freedom from the body and freedom from the mind freedom  from the ego and freedom from being blind. Freedom of transcendence being of the spiritual kind. Universal freedom is eternal and infinite bliss we should all therefore be able to realise this.
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47
I'm anti-attachment and I cant help that I'm a hardback book bound tight- Always on the rewrite every word placed right because it's so important; that you read me right; that you see things right; undress your mind for me under the right light because God above I don't want tears tonight if I tell you it's not serious or when I make you work or wait it's obviously worth the work and even more than worth your wait. I don't like games I play it straight; you're either with it or you ain't. So if you do not like the blurb don't bother reading my first page.
0
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC
read the blurb
Pray for the strength to be positive through the negatives, If you want to catch a break well first something has to give, So give your heart and mind to everything you do, As souls we perform wonders I just wish we only knew, Unknowing is true wisdom accepting what we can't grasp, It's ok we have today and it could be our last, In a way it is because it will never come again, And all the before and afters are really just pretend, This moment is peaceful if you recognize it as such, Life is a blank canvas and you hold the paint brush, Attachment is derailment for the peaceful train of thought, If you always want more you'll never be happy with what you've got, Loving what you have gives you everything you need, I am as I am this is the true meaning of to be.
0
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC
Be-ing positive
if you wish to be a warrior prepare to be broken. if you wish to be a explorer prepare to get lost, and if you wish to be a lover prepare to be both. to be a lover meaning you possess a feeling, a spell or desire. that irresistible urge to be with someone. that heavenly union, that destiny conspires. to be a lover takes strength like a warrior. such as loving a person, even when they gave you a thousand reasons not to. to be a lover takes some exploring. a mere attachment, or infatuation. a bond or a yearning? getting lost on what loves really means. to be a lover we sometimes seek what it means when all its about is, the intermingling of 2 souls, come together to form a whole. we look to deeply to decipher love to code the way in which the caged creature works, we learn, get hurt, grow love, repeat. to ever extract its true essence is tough... Are you ready to be a lover?
0
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 6:18 AM UTC
To Be A Lover...
*Get me to be a soul liberated from every attachment it could be. I want to want nothing from anywhere not want to get tempted by things unnecessary get myself bound to what will be my downfall The soul needs nothing it is to be free but my own flaws have made it not so that it could go as it pleases What is that one really needs with no one else be depleted all the seed, sign of lives but with greed everything dies Devoid of true knowledge what is I seek I see myself so very weak my vision so blinded my eyes itself closes that I cannot see the lies will bite the anger will burn my own journey with karma it will come back on me I wait as I expect them coming to me My sins who will wash for me? my thoughts why they never sided me they followed the down path got me to fuss on things over all the nothings never mattered to me the body detoriates every day, every second passes My mind forget what it remembers I speak no tales, but riddles what sense I try to formulate This time who will be the one to get it to decode the mysteries the real truths which could liberate but to think deeper what really is the answer lies very deep within much closer than who you are actually really.*
0
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 2:35 PM UTC
Unliberated soul
His eyes are my escape route They take me anywhere I wanna go Which always leads right next to him When he looks at me I feel my soul become furious Somebody has me bothered I crave the scent of his cologne When the smell of it on my sweatshirt F A D E S away The limited-time only reminder that at one point He was on top of me And in that moment I was all that mattered to him The anxiety that lurks through my body Everytime I think of him The feeling in my body Everytime my brain remembers a happy moment With him Or sincere moments we shared Two broken people 80/20 I broke my own heart To give him pieces to fix his 20/80 My mind and what’s left of my heart are at war Because of him Because of him, his smile And his quirky laugh that quench the desire Of the simplicity of his existence; My heart won’t let me be at peace My mind tells me to let go Reflecting on post trauma Nothing is better than feeling Wanted but safe By the person you want the most But nothing is worse than feeling You’re not good enough for the person You want most Looking into his eyes again Constantly searching for reassurance And then suddenly the source of happiness vanishes you were only a distraction While what was really wanted Wasn’t accessible allowing attachment is unbelievably dangerous But learning to let go is worse
0
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 10:50 AM UTC
Him
I no longer feel love is a necessity and even if it were it remains elusive. Many lovers passed. They came they went and all I truly miss is playing good or bad girl long enough to get off. Get undressed, get on your knees, get wet for me, get ****** !Get ****** Lust leaves a softly pulsating crimson sheen behind my eyelids. Lust feels like when you have a blindfold on and you strain to peek through, to violate. Lust is Loves' true enemy. Lust takes without apology/lust punishes/lust is the arms I am taken in. I've never been the best at "please" but in Lust's wake I pout prettily saying "yes please, and thank you".
0
Dec 1, 2015
Dec 1, 2015 at 3:27 AM UTC
Lust: An Attachment
sext: wrap me in the blanket that's in the back seat of your car, call her while I'm staring into space, tell her you love her out of no where sext: uuuuuuuuhhhhh......I don't want to move in with you sext: I love you but I'm moving a thousand miles away sext: I love you so I'm moving a thousand miles away sext: I'm moving a thousand miles away BECAUSE I love you sext: I want to bite off your tongue sext: really bad sext: you shouldn't have told her you love her when I was already off the ledge sext: I'll bite your lip, it'll bleed, red will pour down your mouth and your clothes and your horns will poke through and BOOM! satan sext: baby baby BABY you turn me on sext: especially when your actions completely correlate with what I was always told not to do sext: I was told not to do you, but, well....ok we were supposed to hangout at a park like this is a ******* indie movie but this cop told me that park was closed? I didn't know parks ******* close? so we met in a parking lot and you mentioned how your roommate wasn't home and la la la la LAAAAA, we ended up on your living room floor and the carpet was covered in my black lace sext: I'm wearing high heels, tall ones. I'm 5' 11 1/2", you're, ummm...something. someone. oh yeah, I'm in love with you. well, I dunno about that anymore what's love? I defined it and it said "sext: an intense feeling of deep attachment". ah, ok, got it. I now understand you, love. this was supposed to be **** ya no, like me running down the back your legs in my red high heels, sending chills through your veins and breaking all of your bones. ****** **** right? **** I ruined it when I brought up love   sext: uh, it's been 3 days since we've talked. I know you said like 3 months ago that we needed to "draw new lines for each other" and "figure out how to have self control and not pounce the other when we're alone and I play smashing pumpkins" but we've ****** like what, 40 times since? and you told me you loved me and begged me not to leave soooooooo....? those lines need to be erased buddy boy sext: uhg. you don't get it. I'm tired.  got so drunk I could barely stand last night. slept for fourty minutes. then worked a thirteen hour shift. I'm sorry. give me a kiss. no? but this is supposed to be a sext? sext: nothing you say is equivalent to a sext these days sext: take your clothes off sext: take your clothes off sext: then take mine off sext: then take mine off sext: you wear mine, I wear yours sext: jk babe the clothes are off we're ******* ******
0
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 3:44 AM UTC
sext: and BOOM! satan
sext: wrap me in the blanket that's in the back seat of your car, call her while I'm staring into space, tell her you love her out of no where sext: uuuuuuuuhhhhh......I don't want to move in with you sext: I love you but I'm moving a thousand miles away sext: I love you so I'm moving a thousand miles away sext: I'm moving a thousand miles away BECAUSE I love you sext: I want to bite off your tongue sext: really bad sext: you shouldn't have told her you love her when I was already off the ledge sext: I'll bite your lip, it'll bleed, red will pour down your mouth and your clothes and your horns will poke through and BOOM! satan sext: baby baby BABY you turn me on sext: especially when your actions completely correlate with what I was always told not to do sext: I was told not to do you, but, well....ok we were supposed to hangout at a park like this is a ******* indie movie but this cop told me that park was closed? I didn't know parks ******* close? so we met in a parking lot and you mentioned how your roommate wasn't home and la la la la LAAAAA, we ended up on your living room floor and the carpet was covered in my black lace sext: I'm wearing high heels, tall ones. I'm 5' 11 1/2", you're, ummm...something. someone. oh yeah, I'm in love with you. well, I dunno about that anymore what's love? I defined it and it said "sext: an intense feeling of deep attachment". ah, ok, got it. I now understand you, love. this was supposed to be **** ya no, like me running down the back your legs in my red high heels, sending chills through your veins and breaking all of your bones. ****** **** right? **** I ruined it when I brought up love   sext: uh, it's been 3 days since we've talked. I know you said like 3 months ago that we needed to "draw new lines for each other" and "figure out how to have self control and not pounce the other when we're alone and I play smashing pumpkins" but we've ****** like what, 40 times since? and you told me you loved me and begged me not to leave soooooooo....? those lines need to be erased buddy boy sext: uhg. you don't get it. I'm tired.  got so drunk I could barely stand last night. slept for fourty minutes. then worked a thirteen hour shift. I'm sorry. give me a kiss. no? but this is supposed to be a sext? sext: nothing you say is equivalent to a sext these days sext: take your clothes off sext: take your clothes off sext: then take mine off sext: then take mine off sext: you wear mine, I wear yours sext: jk babe the clothes are off we're ******* ******
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22
Even something distant Can give enough light, Longer than just a while, Carrying vivid, tender moods, Rising like green plants, Despite the cold, acid rain. A hypnotic, sweet mantra, A grateful murmur, Whispered my true name, Coming on time, Before I closed the door. I am at home now. In a quiet zone, On my piece of uneven, Creaky floor, Grounded by gravitation, Free from messy thoughts, Just to save the plumb line, Not to collapse inward Into an inner gap Of what it should mean. I shift my wardrobe Of emotional scripts To clean a tame mess, Collected into short breaths, Like colorful, sharp stamps, Justifying a fading reason to stay, rather than give up and go away. Yes, I know that I can. So, what am I afraid of? That I am ready To drop the weight Of past attachment, To feel the lightness Of being loved? To accept human warmth, Enfolding peacefully A fractured existence.
0
Jul 30, 2025
Jul 30, 2025 at 10:41 AM UTC
The Inner Gap
Calories. When I was 6 years old, my mother told me I would consume too many calories. I would consume them by the hundreds, by the thousands. I was Godzilla and they were the people I dominated. When my parents left one another I had to fill myself with some other source of affection. And the insulin rushes were tremendous. When I was 11, I had to see the doctor to be in fear of getting Diabetes, and being grossly overweight. At at age of 15, I was over 280 pounds of walking disappointments. I had always believed my stomach carried my happiness and the fat under my chin kept my head high. But after being rejected for so long, I snapped. I always had an attachment to food, a sort of inseperable bond. But I remember looking at myself in the mirror one night, completely disgusted, tears welling in my eyes, and I puked from the anger I felt inside of me. So don't tell me the calories I consume today don't burn more than the bleach Amanda Todd drank, or that the more hollow my stomach becomes, I am not able to better hide my sorrows. Do not dare tell me eat something, because I've craved biting the bullet for the past 8 ******* years, and carbohydrates has caused more sadness in my heart than anything else. Do not tell me other teenagers do not cut open their arms, to let calories out, because they are scared to Christ that someone may judge them, if they eat an apple. Because the first woman that ate an apple, ****** humankind. And by having a sip of your Iced Tea, or a french fry, might just dissolve the earth from beneath us. Why we hide from nutrition labels, and run from anything with a number greater than ZERO on it. I was taught that happiness comes from a nutrition label, and how many servings one consumes, not the smile on ones face, or the good in one's heart. Calories have ruined my life, and I will never forgive any nutrition label for that.
0
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 2:57 AM UTC
Calories
Calories. When I was 6 years old, my mother told me I would consume too many calories. I would consume them by the hundreds, by the thousands. I was Godzilla and they were the people I dominated. When my parents left one another I had to fill myself with some other source of affection. And the insulin rushes were tremendous. When I was 11, I had to see the doctor to be in fear of getting Diabetes, and being grossly overweight. At at age of 15, I was over 280 pounds of walking disappointments. I had always believed my stomach carried my happiness and the fat under my chin kept my head high. But after being rejected for so long, I snapped. I always had an attachment to food, a sort of inseperable bond. But I remember looking at myself in the mirror one night, completely disgusted, tears welling in my eyes, and I puked from the anger I felt inside of me. So don't tell me the calories I consume today don't burn more than the bleach Amanda Todd drank, or that the more hollow my stomach becomes, I am not able to better hide my sorrows. Do not dare tell me eat something, because I've craved biting the bullet for the past 8 ******* years, and carbohydrates has caused more sadness in my heart than anything else. Do not tell me other teenagers do not cut open their arms, to let calories out, because they are scared to Christ that someone may judge them, if they eat an apple. Because the first woman that ate an apple, ****** humankind. And by having a sip of your Iced Tea, or a french fry, might just dissolve the earth from beneath us. Why we hide from nutrition labels, and run from anything with a number greater than ZERO on it. I was taught that happiness comes from a nutrition label, and how many servings one consumes, not the smile on ones face, or the good in one's heart. Calories have ruined my life, and I will never forgive any nutrition label for that.
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50
We are a deeply entwined vine Growing ever more far apart, But still attached at the roots. He has rooted himself in myself, And has become a part of me. I dissected worms in high school, But I don't feel qualified To dissect our conjointment. He has asked me to hand him the scalpel, And I have become too accustomed To his requests to decline. We stare at each other, Both of us too timid to cut the ties, And go to bed side by side With scalpels in hand.
0
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 1:51 PM UTC
Attachment
How I adore your nerve when you kissed me in your closet upon sheets made of legos and all of your childhood dreams. How easy I am for you to draw when you play on stage the song that you wrote me, The one that feels like rock climbing by the river, Like naps in the summer when I drool on your chest and you don't mind, Like kissing you until the very last minute of my curfew, only to break it for the miracle that is your lips. How alluring is your breath on my neck, Your voice in my ear when you told me that you loved me and you didn't stop smiling, even as the years went by and I did. How I craved, longed, begged for time to be still the time you took me to the highest hill you could drive to, You called it my mountain. "At first, you look at it and it's so small, but once you notice it, it's all you can see," you said. How my stomach floods with waves of nostalgia and a taste of everything I've ever had to live without, With complete and utter spell-binded devotion at the simple familiarity of your smell. How addicted I am to your laugh when you're happy and the mastered impression you do of your mom. How weak I am to your intellect and your appreciation of literature and real music, Your enthusiasm for art and the "name that note" game you force upon me as you stumble onto the classical radio station. How in love I am with your romance that is as childish as my attachment to my baby blankie and my mother's childhood walrus that you never ceased to insult. Our pajama day that we decided over our prom, When we turned on John Mayer and slow danced in your room. Your idea of a date consisted of fake wine and me. How incredibly warm are the coldest of nights, On the side of your dirt road as we lie in the snow that is too cold for comfort, yet holds us there with the fear that one day will not look the same as this one and I would bear any amount of cold winter to keep one more moment of yours. How I cherish the way you latch my pinky with yours when we walk And the face you don't know you make when you play guitar. The rooftop where you kissed me for the very first time and the string rings we wore to remind each other we were still there. How incredibly and unfortunately devout I am to all that I remember of you.
0
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 2:51 AM UTC
Something Like Nostalgia
How I adore your nerve when you kissed me in your closet upon sheets made of legos and all of your childhood dreams. How easy I am for you to draw when you play on stage the song that you wrote me, The one that feels like rock climbing by the river, Like naps in the summer when I drool on your chest and you don't mind, Like kissing you until the very last minute of my curfew, only to break it for the miracle that is your lips. How alluring is your breath on my neck, Your voice in my ear when you told me that you loved me and you didn't stop smiling, even as the years went by and I did. How I craved, longed, begged for time to be still the time you took me to the highest hill you could drive to, You called it my mountain. "At first, you look at it and it's so small, but once you notice it, it's all you can see," you said. How my stomach floods with waves of nostalgia and a taste of everything I've ever had to live without, With complete and utter spell-binded devotion at the simple familiarity of your smell. How addicted I am to your laugh when you're happy and the mastered impression you do of your mom. How weak I am to your intellect and your appreciation of literature and real music, Your enthusiasm for art and the "name that note" game you force upon me as you stumble onto the classical radio station. How in love I am with your romance that is as childish as my attachment to my baby blankie and my mother's childhood walrus that you never ceased to insult. Our pajama day that we decided over our prom, When we turned on John Mayer and slow danced in your room. Your idea of a date consisted of fake wine and me. How incredibly warm are the coldest of nights, On the side of your dirt road as we lie in the snow that is too cold for comfort, yet holds us there with the fear that one day will not look the same as this one and I would bear any amount of cold winter to keep one more moment of yours. How I cherish the way you latch my pinky with yours when we walk And the face you don't know you make when you play guitar. The rooftop where you kissed me for the very first time and the string rings we wore to remind each other we were still there. How incredibly and unfortunately devout I am to all that I remember of you.
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41
I pride myself on differences, but know at heart we're all one I tried to do the dishes, but only two knives made the cut. Now I wonder if I can accomplish more than thought possible judging dull wounds in grunting cans; feeling pistol grooves and wrist slitters, I am at home again. Lying, mining, dying figure heads make their way to the foot of my bed, and ask if they may lull me to sleep with dreams of pneumonia and epilepsy. I ask them to politely leave, but they perch on boasting names of society, reciting to me, too condescendingly, "surely, we know better than you." Now all of their heads fit askew. Save the money and excuse for material attachment. Keep running through your doll houses. I pull on my hair to make it grow. You pull on heart strings to teach a lesson, I suppose we're in the same sinking boat. But you are my vital poison. My body collapses- a muted a noise and- each time I awake perfectly poised at your feet and frozen mouth. How will I ever make you love me now? Life's a Hawaii postcard pleading, "go experience the vibrant colors." There's more to see beyond the rainbow trees, but they'll still satisfy most cravings. Every threaded fiber of my being keeps me pondering if cells are just too shy to speak, or if they've always spoken through me, whispering, "scratch to win the lottery." I want to write children's books, and release doves from hidden cages; watch awe wipe over next generation; use my candies as their safe haven. Away this world that have caused them pain- I Am its new name. Affection is a mistress of mine. I still crave her like sunlight. stare into her eye until I am blind She's addicting even after she harms you. I'll keep my heals neck deep in anxiously wading water. til I sing it into deep sleep, its current pulls me under. and I am at home again.
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Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 9:05 AM UTC
I AM. (a figurative autobiographical poem)
I pride myself on differences, but know at heart we're all one I tried to do the dishes, but only two knives made the cut. Now I wonder if I can accomplish more than thought possible judging dull wounds in grunting cans; feeling pistol grooves and wrist slitters, I am at home again. Lying, mining, dying figure heads make their way to the foot of my bed, and ask if they may lull me to sleep with dreams of pneumonia and epilepsy. I ask them to politely leave, but they perch on boasting names of society, reciting to me, too condescendingly, "surely, we know better than you." Now all of their heads fit askew. Save the money and excuse for material attachment. Keep running through your doll houses. I pull on my hair to make it grow. You pull on heart strings to teach a lesson, I suppose we're in the same sinking boat. But you are my vital poison. My body collapses- a muted a noise and- each time I awake perfectly poised at your feet and frozen mouth. How will I ever make you love me now? Life's a Hawaii postcard pleading, "go experience the vibrant colors." There's more to see beyond the rainbow trees, but they'll still satisfy most cravings. Every threaded fiber of my being keeps me pondering if cells are just too shy to speak, or if they've always spoken through me, whispering, "scratch to win the lottery." I want to write children's books, and release doves from hidden cages; watch awe wipe over next generation; use my candies as their safe haven. Away this world that have caused them pain- I Am its new name. Affection is a mistress of mine. I still crave her like sunlight. stare into her eye until I am blind She's addicting even after she harms you. I'll keep my heals neck deep in anxiously wading water. til I sing it into deep sleep, its current pulls me under. and I am at home again.
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52
Because I don't want ever again to be a businessman stuck at a desk, selling **** to morons. I'd rather be Han Shan, cold and hungry, uncertain, but joyous, writing poems to the void on cave walls, laughing at vanity, chuckling at attachment, wandering the woods like a happy ghost riantly doing real work, struggling up one mountain, down the next. No path; no plan, but never lost. - mce
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Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 11:15 AM UTC
Why This Pirate Life
anorexia and binge eating disorder depression and OCD reactive attachment disorder sexually assaulted sensory processing disorder suicidal abused neglected hostile resentful toward mother figures fearful of father figures cutter people pleaser desire to be perfect high expectations for herself lost "im not sure how i am going to help you. but i will do my best" -she says
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Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 11:11 PM UTC
My Therapist's Notes
As I remember how her lips felt as they plowed through the barriers of my insisted claims of heterosexuality I cannot help but think, without falter... wow okay, but this isn't why I'm a feminist. My attachment to her, my fellow female, member of my legion, has nothing to do with my squinting eyes at the blinking neon signs of inequality that hangs about all of our heads every day
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Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 4:51 PM UTC
Feminist
attachment is worse than the aftertaste of a disgusting drink like mixing ketchup with mustard such a bad mix makes you want to throw up
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Nov 16, 2013
Nov 16, 2013 at 8:17 AM UTC
disgusting