Whenever I would wake
at the asscrack of sunrise,
I long to taste
the bitter mint in your mouth,
and rouged up lips
from last night
and every night before that.

dear god
*******

when i was four you didnt protect me
from the monster under my bed
in my bed i mean
because i remember my uncle touching me everywhere like i remember the freckles on my left hand and the scar on my finger

when i was ten you didnt remind me
that i was loved and needed and necessary
to the world around me

when i was twelve i started cutting
because i wanted to be like the girls in the stories i read
at night only because my parents would get mad
if they saw me tracing lines on my writs at the asscrack of dawn

when i was fifteen i was ******* my best friend
behind my boyfriends back
because i was so angry with my self
and i needed a reason

now at sixteen i think
you exist
solely for the purpose
of laughing
at me

Now normally I'm not one to criticize but those who use what I say against me may die
You *****, you low down hypocrite you were the one who encouraged me to pick up my pen again and make words and rhymes blend, now every time I have emotions and put them to the page you get enraged when I ask for feedback you act like every single time I spill ink you think I'm writing about you **** no you're not worth the brain space but I can tell you in this place this poem is about you I doubt you can understand why it hurts pouring these words from my pen and hand because you got me off of my self imposed island you warmed up the cold heart of BRANDON but now that voice in the back of his head Nero has to rise from the dead and blast ya *** I hoped and prayed that it wouldn't be you of all people I have to lyrically slay but it's like **** with Dre day and everybody's celebrating now I'm gonna release all that dirt like I'm ******* my ego is deflating my rage inflating I'm thru with your *** you keep degrading me every time I come to you vulnerable I get stabbed in the back **** that you can eat my asscrack before I even think about inboxing you back