the nice tommy carter



tommy carter was a kid who was a bubbly little cool kid, who used to hit people on the backs

and he had a very good imagination, which sometimes got the better of him, you see all his friends

played fun little games with tommy, saying you are weird tom, you are weird tom, you see tommy’s father

and mother were so nice to him, you see they will treat him like a little bubbly little cool kid, which got

tommy’s llittle bro ernie so jealous of him, you see ernice teased tommy a lot, he said, you are a little spas boy

tommy and tommy teased ernie by making ernie move around in circles, you see tommy was a tad different

in the fact that when people teased him, like saying, what’s that, your still getting teased, what’s that your still getting teased

and then tommy’s dad noticed that the teasing was really affecting tommy and decided to stop being the cool man

and he labelled himself a little quiet man, or a yepyoubigfuckheadyeahmanbop, which is a very together person who

doesn’t understand that tommy wanted to be a cool kid back then but he found it hard to understand why

was his dad changing his lifestyle, ya know changing his way of life, you see tommy liked going to the march

with his dad, so he as well as his dad can pay their res[ect to the fallen diggers, on anzac parade and tommy’s dad

played santa claus at the local mall, and tommy’s mum took tommy and ernie to see him as santa, and tommy’s dad

at easter time, used to lay all the easter eggs out  so tommy and ernie can go to church and then go hiome

and get ready to search for the easter egg hunt, and i know they lived in australia, but that didn’t stop tommy dressing

tommy and ernie into halloween clothes and go around door to door saying trick or treat, this made tommy happy

as he got the most treats and make ernie very jealous and then tommy and ernie helped their mother serve out meals for the homeless

and tommy learnt that the homeless are very interesting and nice people and tommy made a few mates as he was serving the

meals, and let me tell you, that the big annual christmas party was the best, tommy was forced to dress up as santa

to spread christmas cheer to all the poor people, and tommy wears his grandfather’s medals at anzac day ceremonies

and decided to post the anzac day march on youtube, and another thing too, ernie got tommy into playing footy in

the front yard and a few mates from tommy’s school gave tommy a serve thinking he was CRAZY, playing around loud outside

but tommy didn’t care, and started to commentate his loud voiceover to his footy game, and tommy’s dad can’t really cope with

loud children, tried to show his army discipline to calm his two sons tommy and ernie, and he said, my two sons are enjoying life

playing footy in the front yard, and because tommy and ernie’s vdad really liked quiet people decided to have a cat fight with tommy

he called tommy a fool and he called him a silly clot, and he also said, the reason why i do this cause i love you tommy and i love both

of my two sons, i am trying to settle you 2 down, so tommy’s dad went into tommy’s room and tickled him and gave him a round the room

piggy back, and as he tickled him, he said, tickle tickle tum tum tickle tickle too, tickle;tickle tum tum tickle my two sons yo hoo

and this made tommy very excited as he was feeling the very big boney fingers of his father, press into his stomach, and as his father

tickled ernie, ernie laughed as well, but when tommy met johnno, who said be like us, and johnno partied with tommy and spoke to ernie and

ernie said to johnno tommy poos his pants and he talks to himself and johnno laughed along with ernie and tommy said, you are a *******

a really big *******, i make the first mate who liked me for me, and you spoil it ernie and ernie said ha ha tommy is a loser, baby, you can’t change me

and tommy was upset so he crawled through the drainpipe and he portended he was kidnapped and thrown into a garbage hopper by some drinkers

in a near by pub, and tommy lied to johnno, saying he got mugged, just to have johnno walk home with him, because tommy was a tad scared

of what bad guys will do to him, and johnno said, don’t be shy, be one of us good guys, be one of us good guys buddy, and now he watched the

anzac day march, tommy wanted to pay his respects to the fallen diggers and every april 25, wild horses couldn’t get in the way of tommy going

to the march to pay his respects and he is ready to enjoy everything that his dad taught him, now tommy’s dad his dead. tommy still wants to be

a bubbly little cool kid, but he isn’t a kid

Regimental Square, Sydney
ANZAC Day, 2017

I thought "I'll march this Anzac Day,"
To Sydney thus I'll make my way.
But then, to set my medals straight,
I pause a moment at my gate
To ponder 'neath the starry sky
On where I'm going to and why.

To there, the Square on George Street.
The place where all we blokes do meet.
To greet once more to have a say,
Gathered there on Anzac Day,
To think for moments in that Square
About the men no longer there.

No longer there but always there
These ghostly memories on the Square.
Their presence felt as we give thanks,
Shuffling, murmuring in their ranks,
And as the bugle calls last post
We proudly stiffen with that host.

Standing tall with all those men
Who link our presence now with then;
Their bayonets, bullets, marching feet
Providing terms on which we meet:
Our bridge, our nexus, common ground
For sharing with them that sweet sound

Which gently fades away.

Old soldiers in the firing line,
Community clubbing time,
Let's honour them in rhymes,
Now in the vault of the unleashed,
Their courage released,
For the job, they were the right men,
The flower of past generations,
People to treasure, through the ages,
In theatres of combat, such stages,
Designer beers wanted here,
On Anzac Day, we give them silent cheers.

As we commemorate this Anzac Day,
We shall remember them this way,
Forever asleep, young and brave,
Heroes now resting in foreign graves,
We thank them for our freedom today,
Forever asleep, always young and brave.

In clear dawn’s prescient light I saw
Integrity of man withdraw,
Withdraw from that integral grace
Illuminated in that place.
A clear blue light in silhouette
Of moon and mountain pirouette,
A truthfulness of stark relief
Quite unencumbered by deceit.
Unencumbered by the paws
Of those who bare discordant claws,
They who twist God’s clear blue light
To manifest their grip on might,
Those who would, quite by perchance,
Enlist oblivion’s nuclear dance.

This hanging crescent moon aloft
Above our mountain’s darkened croft,
Delicately etched in vivid glow
Of promised new dawn’s velvet show…..
Dependant now on exchanged themes
Of thermonuclear warfare’s screams.

But then…..
Old soldiers call from War afar
To we who listen, jaw ajar,
To wisdom earnt by good blood spilt
Be of Field Grey or Scottish Kilt…..

“Fight no more this curse of War”
They, from beyond the  grave, implore,
“We sacrificed our youth for thee
So thou might dwell in harmony”

In clear dawn’s prescient light they saw
A slit of sunshine’s open door,
Where sanity, just, could pave the way
For laughter’s peal to save this day.

M.
“Lest We Forget “
ANZAC Day
25 April 2017
HAMILTON, NEW ZEALAND

Over the last 200 years the Australians and New Zealanders have joined forces in conflict.
We have fought, back to back, against a common foe.
Fighting and dying in battle beside each other...resolute and definate.
We fought as Brothers.
Each year, on the sporting field, we have been bitter adversaries, giving no quarter
But in battle we are ANZACs
....and forever it shall be.

Today is ANZAC Day.
Today we remember those who gave their service and sacrificed their lives ...for us.

As the sun goes down and in the morning....
**WE SHALL REMEMBER THEM.

My road, with the dawn of a beautiful golden sun, took me to a little rural Taranaki town called Opunaki.
There my bride and I took part in an emotional, short ANZAC Day ceremony....where in an ancient clifftop cemetary, against the backdrop of a raging ocean surf, thirty souls and two dogs remembered the troopers who sacrificed for their country in two great world wars.
The New Zealand flag flew hard and the words of the old Priest were lost in the gale... but the tears ran freely down every cheek as the little transistor radio played the military horn's Last Post at full volume.

It was a slice of old Taranaki and a comemoration of the ANZAC DAY of years gone by.

LEST WE FORGET
April 25 2024

In fields of red our soldiers sleep
Their souls in heaven for God to keep

Our freedom comes at such a cost
We will remember the lives they lost

An endless sleep brought on by war
We pray for peace forevermore

But we know a day will come
When we will call our brave and young

To take up arms and defend our land
So we ask for God's mighty hand

Our country's one full of free men
Because of thousands who'll never wake again

So as I watch the red sun set
I Whisper their names lest we forget

In the shadow of Everest people are dying
Crushed in a chaos embirthed from beneath,
Emerged as destructor of temple and Taos,
Emerged as an innocent killer... bequeathed.
History crumbles as heavens roar mightily
Ghorka is dead in an avalanche of rock,
Beggars and potentates crushed  in the brickfall
Dharahara’s fall leaves men gaping in shock.
Shuddering mountains in avalanche of free fall
Wails of the stricken as quaking defiles,
Gold topped pagodas and statue of ancients,
Sculpture of lions now a rubble in piles.
Khathmandu in the clasp of calamity
Nightmarish forces arisen from deep,
Grasping the earth in their grip of profanity
Monstrously tearing the bedrock from sleep.
A techtonic ****** of Asia by India
Nepal’s Himalayas ****** to the sky,
Inconsequential, this plight of humanity
Nature proceeds as poor Nepalese die.**

M.
ANZAC Day 25 April 2015

I was sent to work at the old Repat.
It was forty years since the war,
Those ancient diggers would sit and swear
At the pain of the limbs they wore,
The wounds would open as years went by,
They’d come for another slice,
That war was never over for them,
And morphine was paradise.

I saw one veteran struggle and curse
As he ripped at the buckles and straps,
The new prosthesis had rubbed him raw
As his knee began to relapse.
He tore the leg from his wounded stump
Sat on his bed, and roared,
Then swung the article over his head
And flung it across the ward.

The others had ducked as the leg took off
And bounced off the opposite wall,
‘I’ll have to report you,’ the nurse exclaimed,
‘It’s a good leg, after all!’
‘You wear it then,’ was the man’s response,
‘For it’s driving me insane,
What would you know of Flanders Fields?
You wouldn’t deal with the pain!’

My job was to settle and calm him down
So I asked him about his leg,
‘When and where did you lose it, Dig?’
The veteran tossed his head.
‘You’ve heard of a place called Flanders Fields
Where the bullets came in like hail?
Well, I was there with the Anzac’s, son,
At a place called Passchendaele.’

‘Our Generals were trying to ****** us,
I swear, on my mother’s head,
They kept on sending us over the top
Until half of the men were dead.
The German gunners would enfilade
As we struggled against the mud,
I’ll never forget the battlefield,
It was spattered with bones and blood.

They’d send artillery shells across
At the height of a soldier’s knee,
We’d watch them come as they parted the grass,
They were Grasscutters, you see!
Well, I was running with bayonet fixed
And praying for God’s good grace,
When suddenly I was lying there,
I’d tumbled, flat on my face.’

‘It’s strange that I never felt a thing,
When the Grasscutter got me,
It took a while ‘til I saw my leg
Was gone, from under the knee.
But that was the end of the war for me,
The end of the life I’d known,
I spent some time back in Blighty, then
I came on a ship, back home.’

I never chided those men in there
Though they’d curse and swear, and roar,
For every man was a hero where
They'd trudged in mud through the war.
That Repat. job was a fill-in job
And I left, still young and hale,
But I never forgot the Grasscutter
Or the man from Passchendaele.

David Lewis Paget

In the pool of drowning mud
The bullets searching
The rusty wire
Memory of mother faded away
Task at hand

Mother waiting for the call
For the son who never will come home
Father and family
In their heart
Keep the message that never goes away

ANZAC CHUMS AND THEIR MUMS

In Oz the possum grinds on thorn and gum
Far too stretched to visit mum -
Things are hard outback of Bourke
And there’s no time for anything but work.

But Kiwi possums like to visit ma
With flowers for her crystal jar -
They’ll even take a shopping bag of buds
With some greens and beans and spuds.

In Oz the possum is protected
As indeed might be expected -
Beset by fires and drought and prickles
And parched out creeks that slim to trickles.

But Kiwi possums are heaven sent
To slurp and scoff to heart’s content -
When they dine they have the best
And not surprisingly are deemed a pest.

In Oz a treasure - in NZ an imported glitch
There are mixed opinions either side the Ditch –
Mum’s the word on making possums able
To visit home with veggies for the table.

Preparations are gearing up for the iD Dunedin Fashion Show, which this year opens with a tribute to Australasian style on Anzac weekend.

The 120m-long platform of Dunedin's railway station is again the venue for shows on April 24 and 25, which are preceded by the iD International Emerging Designer Awards on Thursday night at the Town Hall.

Saturday night is sold out and about 100 tickets are still available to Friday's show, organisers say.

Labels Carlson, Mild-Red and NOM*d, brands synonymous with Dunedin fashion, were in the original show in a local bar in 2000 and they're still show stalwarts.

Company of Strangers, Charmaine Reveley, DADA Vintage, Storm, Perriam, Deval, GG (from Shanghai), Liann Bellis, BEATS clothing, Jason Lingard and Jane Sutherland are also strutting their stuff this year.

The shows open with a section titled Together Alone, Revisited, put together by Doris De Pont, featuring garments by four New Zealand and three Australian designers shown at an exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria in 2009.

International guest judge Doris Raymond, the star of documentary series LA Frockstars, is also bringing some garments with her for the show.

The owner of vintage emporium The Way We Wore has a fabulous collection of outfits and she will talk about them at an event in the city on Friday.

Six fashion graduate designers from the Otago Polytechnic School of Design will also show their collections in the shows on Friday and Saturday night.

Garments made by the winner of the emerging designer awards are also in the show.

The finalists were selected from nearly 100 entries from seven countries and 14 fashion schools.

There's a strong showing from Australian schools, especially from Sydney, says judge Tanya Carlson.Read more here:www.marieaustralia.com/evening-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/short-formal-dresses

Sons and daughters of New Zealand Soil
Buried far away in strange lands
We stand here at dawn on this day
In the towns where you grew up but never grew old
To remember you and your sacrifice
You did not grow old so we could

monuments of proportional tragedies
make national tragedy of monumental proportions

@journeyofdays

For those men and women now silent
who stood in the cold night
To those who combed the deserts and those
who gave their lives
For those who fought shoulder to shoulder in fears and blood
And danced with death in chilling dawns
who froze in winters bitter breath

For those who laid in the trenches who whispered of peace
and muttered of hopes and home to be
Right nor wrong holds no place on this day,
For thee stepped up, for thee stepped forward
For those who chose to defend and those who didn’t this country I call home

── And we shall remember all of thee

For those men women and children who ran from bombs
For those who sat in air raid shelters huddled together
heads bowed in prayer who whimpered charred
and shook with fear
For the eyes that witnessed the fires
that consumed homes in its wake
The agonized violet waiting,
the smell of streaming fires and flesh across the skies
The piercing sirens and bombs exploding in the night
To those who carved out hardships and rations
To those who gave when there was none
For those who lay unnamed in silent graves
I give to thee all names on this dawn

── For without your lives given and taken I would have none.

To those who starved and were plagued in poor health,
I give thanks today for the medicines and hospitals
I thank thee for my life to sit in silence and for the abundances
For my choices to eat food and drink clean water
For the clear skies and this beautiful life.

── For my democratic rights were given to me

For the democracy to choose and for the freedom
And those who stand today shoulder to shoulder
Army, Navy, Air Force, and our four legged friends
“We Serve” in naming but a few

Starched on this day are uniforms, medals and buckles sparkling boots spit polished to gleam
For those now grey in repose in chairs and aided to stand to attention to salute comrades fallen

To the fallen thee died not in vain not through these eyes
Tis we who salutes each of thee in thanks on this day

── our day of Remembrance.

©ASPAR (A Sol Poet Arnay Rumens) 2017

I say thanks though it's not enough
To the war torn, the weary, the fearful, the tough.
To those who returned and to those who have died.
To those shunned at home and to those met with pride.
Our lives of freedom, joy and vice,
gifted at immeasurable price.
Lest we Forget

Australia is the lucky country
Lucky, yes we are
Australia is the lucky country
Lucky, yes we are
The luckiest country
Compared to the Middle East
And I know Australians live in poverty
But we have beaches and footy mate
We also have events to bring the families in
To enjoy this wonderful country
Lucky, yes we are
We have loads of helpers
That look after the poor
We also have people
Who show our great bushland
To walk around and explore
Yes we are the lucky country
Compared to the Middle East
We do have our problems
Like a lot of people do
We enjoy the party people
Because we need to have fun
Yes we do oh yeah
We have great tv from our many stations
We bring what we don’t have on tv
To the radio
Because Australia is the lucky country
Lucky, yes we are
We play carols all over the country
And at the carols we collect money
To give to many charities
We go for walks and runs
And that is what we do for fun
And we march every Anzac Day
To honour Australia’s diggers
YouTube keeps the people in touch
Of this great big world
Because Australia really cares for
Other countries and that is why we are the lucky country
Lucky, yes we are
Aussie Aussie Aussie
Lucky yes oh yeah

HI DUDES

THIS IS THE MANY SIDES OF DAD, FIRST HE WILL BOP TEACHING US MUSIC

OF HIS TIME, AND THEN TELL US TO EAT NICELY AT THE DINNER TIME

HE WOULD SING, OH ROSIE, LET’S DO THAT FOR THE BOYS

COME ON SUSIE, ROCK AND ROLL

AND THENN AFTER WHEN I ATE LIKE A SLOB AT THE DINNER TABLE

DAD WOULD CHEW HIS FOOD, LIKE AN OLD GRUMPY MAN

I WAS A BRATTY LITTLE KID, DAD SPOKE FOR THE CATS

HI FROM LADY, IN A LADIES VOICE

HI FROM SNOOPY IN A BIG MAN’S VOICE

HI FROM FLUFFY IN A POXLEY LADIES VOICE

YA SEE FLUFFY WAS THE CAT LIKE MISS PIGGY

I USED TO HAVE ARGUMENTS WITH THE CAT, SAYING MY BROTHER PUT ME IN CHARGE

AND HE SAID, SNOOPY, HE CALLS ME SNOOPY, YOU ARE BOSS OF YOURSELF

WHEN I AM AWAY, AND I WANTED TO BE THE ACTING MASTER, AND HE SAID

NO, YOUR BROTHER SAID SNOOPY, YOU ARE THE BOSS

AND DAD SANG THIS SONG WILD BILL HICCUP, OR SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT

AND MY BROTHER SMILED AT ME, CAUSE, THAT LADY’S VOICE SOUNDED LIKE FLUFFY’S VOICE

YA SEE WE HAD CONVERSATIONS FOR THE CATS ALL DAY, BUT WHEN DAD WAS ANGRY

HE LET IT SHOW, I LIKED WHEN DAD SPOKE FOR THE CATS, BUT I HATED GETTING ANGRY TO MAKE HIM ANGRY

YOU SEE DAD WAS A BIT OF A STICK IN THE MUD, TELLING ME TO EAT NICELY

I HATED THAT, BUT I WAS LIKE THE KIDS AT THAT STAGE

BUT I TOLD DAD, TO GO AND **** A LEMON, HE GOT MUM’S FRIENDS TO DANCE

TO HIS VERSION OF SINGING IN THE RAIN, YA KNOW, CHOO CHOO CHA CHOO CHOO CHA

BUT I TOLD THE WORLD THIS, BUT I WANT DADS HUMOUR IN THE WORLD

DAD’S ADVICE NEARLY GOT MY HEAD PUNCHED IN AS I COPIED THAT

LIKE IF SOMEONE SAID, WHAT AM I LOOKING AT TWIRP, DAD TOLD ME TO SAY,

DUNNO HASN’T GOT A NAMETAG ON IT, BUT CANBERRA COULDN’T EXCEPT THIS

MAYBE, IT IS OFFENSIVE, TO THEM, BUT I ALSO DIDN’T STAND FOR THE ANZAC DAY

I WAS GETTING MIXED MESSAGE OF DAD AND THE YOUNG DUDES, CROWDING MY HEAD

I DON’T MIND THAT, CAUSE NO KID WANTS TO BE TOTALLY LIKE THEIR FATHER

MY BROTHER WAS A LITTLE COOL KID, WHEN HE USED TO TEASE ME, AND THEN USED

TO GET INTO FIGHTS WITH ME BY THE POOL, I MAYBE HATED AT FIRST

BUT I AM NOT LIVING WITH PAST TEASING, I USED TO THROW STUMPS AT MY BROTHER

HE WAS SAYING, I WASN’T A COOL KID, I SAID, HE WASN’T A COOL KID

WE FOUGHT, WRESTLED, AND PLAYED BACKYARD CRICKET

WITH ALL OUR NEIGHBOURS, OH YEAH THAT’S COOL AS

DAD LOOKED LIKE DADDY LONG LEGS, AND MUM WAS MUMMY SHORT LEGS

AS THEY WERE HAVING A HIT IN BACKYARD

I HAD MY VERY OWN FOOTBALL LEAGUE, AND I PLAYED FOR BRIGHTON

AND DAD PLAYED FOR CCAE, WHICH IS NOW UNIVERSITY OF CANBERRA

AND DAD SCORED ABOUT 1000 GOALS SITTING IN THE FORWARD POCKET OF OUR FRONT YARD

I USED TO GET SICK OF DAD LOOKING AT ME, AT BEING A LITTLE SHY BOY

I HAD MY PLANS TO GET ON TV, THANKS TO MY BROTHER, FOR MAKING IT EASIER

I AM SUFFERING, BUT I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HITTING THE BIG SMOKE

BUT MY BROTHER AND DAD’S SENSE OF HUMOUR, GOT ME THINKING

WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE TOO IMAQGINATIVE, BUT IT MADE ME THE COOL PERSON I AM TODAY

I PERFORMED IN TWO PLAYS, URBAN DREAMINGT 2003, AND MOVE SPEAK ACT FOR MINDSCAPES

IN 2014, I HAVE TO SIT TIGHT, BUT THERE IS TRUTH IN THE FACT, THAT BIG THINGS HAPPEN TO THOSE WHO WAIT

EVERY BLADE OF GRASS TO BE SOWN, MOVE SPEAK ACT HAD FUN WITH MY EVERY BLADE OF GRASS THEORY

IN A THEATRICAL WAY, MADE ME FEEL GOOD, DAD ALWAYS SAID, TO START SMALL

DAD GAVE ME A COMPUTER, SO I CAN BE FAMOUS ON YOUTUBE, WELL, HE WAS GIVING ME THE COMPUTER

CAUSE I NEEDED TO LEARN, BUT DAD USED TO TELL FUNNY JOKES TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS

THEN HE STARTED TELLING HIS LIFE STORY

I HOPE, IF DAVID CAMPBELL AND LISA CAMPBELL GET CATS OR DOGS, YOUR FUTURE TWINS IS MY DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS

TALK FOR THE CATS, YA SEE ROBIN WILLIAMS AND DAD ARE ALIKE, IF YA LISTEN TO THEIR HUMOUR

IROBIN WILLIAMS DID IT IN HOLLYWOOD, DAD DID ITWITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS, THINK ABOUT IT

ROBIN WILLIAMS AND DAD ARE THE PERFECT TWINS, BUDDHA DID THIS, SO THEUY CAN CROSS PATHS

LOOK OUT DAVID CAMPBELL AND LISA CAMPBELL, YOUR  TWINS ARE FUNNY

**** ANY MAN OUT OF YA COTTON PICKING HEAD, I PREFER DAD MATURE

I LIKED HISV FUN SIDE, **** HIS BIG BIG MAN, I WAS SITTTING ON THE COUCH

CAUSE OF THE FUN DAD HAD

BUT I HEAR VOICES NOW, OF ME GOING TO JAMISON SLIDE

AND SPENDING 2 HOURS ON THE SL;IDE, ATTENDING POOL PARTIES

DAD PROBABLY THOUGHT THIS WAS COOL, BUT I WAS NOT A LITTLE PARENTS BOY

I WAS A FAMILY PERSON WHO LOVES LIFE

BRING DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS TOGETHER JIMMY BARNESY’S GRANDCHILDREN

BOBBYE DAD, ENJOY NEXT LIFE WITH RW

We stood
on the driveway today
at dawn
Candles in hand,
as the boy  down the road
played The Last Post,
imperfectly but with
such a beautiful heart

We stood
on the driveway today
With rosemary
for remembrance
and red poppies too
Pinned to our chest.
as birds flew over head

We stood and  remembered
the sacrifice and courage
We stood and remembered
those who did not return
those who did but left
brothers and mates behind
Those who fell,
those who returned injured
In body or mind.

The dawns gentle light
watching over us all
as we looked to
the left and the right
to see neighbors all
Standing  in their driveways
Gifting our diggers
the respect they are due
for the service they gave
to the countries they love

We stood and gave thanks
as the last trumpet note died
and the kookaburras  called
Australia the nation stood tall

Standing on my driveway
Gazing left and right
Thinking of the diggers
Who left their homes to fight

Thankful I can stand here
Proud as I can be
Of men and women’s sacrifice
Made for you and me
To be free
To stand on our driveway.

guess what!, i just found out that john f kennedy died in 1963

and i offer my condolences to you and guess what!

martin luther king died in 1968, i don’t understand but they both died

guess what! mrs baker died and i have no idea who died in the civil war

do you know, know what, who died in the civil war

no, but i can tell you, many people died in the civil war

my reincarnation died in the civil war, learn buddhism

because they will have the answers you will need

guess what!  paul berenyi died, that is a shame

i learnt it off the paper back in 1995

guess what!  elizabeth montgomery died, and so did agnes moorehead

two TV witches dead, but agnes moorehead became sabrina the teenage witch, ya know melissa joan hart

guess what!  richie benaud died, and he is waiting for his next life

you see i have heard about these negative deaths, and i wish you will stop

death isn’t uplifting, it’s negative, ever so negative

i believe in spreading positivity around this world

and talking about these deaths don’t help

we need to keep positive in us, ok, and then he said, guess what

frank sinatra died, but that is a negative thing to say

but i like talking about death, but it’s very negative, ya see, then he said

guess what!  robert palmer died, ya know the guy who thought he was simply irreistable into being addicted to love

sure makes your day doesn’t it, she said, no it doesn’t, talking about death is negative, i tell ya

and if you don’t stop talking about death, i will make you next

but guess what! news flash, i like talking about death, i have an uplifting version of death

you see when people die, they come back to life

cause guess what! billy thorpe died, he has been dead for ages, mate, quit talking negative

you need to be positive ya know, you see i will do a giant **** in my living room, i feel lousy

drop the **** in the toilet, feeling much better, you see i can tell you who dies

guess what! trevor barker died, he has been dead for ages, you are a very negative person

guess what! scott mcdonald died, well, you just love being negative

guess what!, christians are kidnappers after your fucken soul, well you are showing me

what happens on youth group, well, i don’t want to know, cause it’s negative, i believe in being a peaceful positive buddhist

people die, they come back to life, people die, they come back to life

you see i go to the phoenix, for the poetry slam, i try and bring back graham kennedy

because guess what! graham kennedy died, i said, mate, he’s been dead for ages

and you mate are being ever so negative, he said, no, death is uplifting, it is uplifting

how you die and then come back to life

guess what! smoky dawson died, but he has been dead for a while

but i saw him at the anzac day march, so television is right yet again

guess what! guess what!  guess what! 1 person dies 1 person gets reborn

the circle of life, don’t ya think

party zone with the two johnny’s


johnny brown’   hi dudes and welcome to party zone on this sad day

in the history of comedy, yeah ronnie corbett died today

and now i bring out the second johnny who is johnny kensape

who was a fab of ronnie corbett and the magpies beat the tigers

by 1 point and we have tom with his jingle about that

tom’  good old collingwood forever dude

playing footy is what we do

side by side we stick together dude

we go after the tiger with a mighty swoop

can’t you hear the crowd singing dude

singing a loud song oh yeseree

the crowd lift up their voices and cheer for

the good old collingwood

johnny matheson’  thanks tom and here is a special jingle for ronnie corbett

sorry, the two ronnies ain’t so hot

the frost report brought up my dinner

the memories i get from that great man

ummmmmmm ummmmmmm ummmmmm the great man is dead

death is an end to suffering by us, only kidding by him

you see he had a cool style of comedy

everyone liked him oh yeseree

ummmmmmmm ummmmmmmmm ummmmmm  RIP ronnie corbett

and now it’s time for the news, the sad passing of a great british comedian

ummmmmmm ronnie corbett rest in peace

johnny brown’  ok dudes, here is ron kennetth and he has a jingle about ronnie corbett

ron’    i love you i love you i love you

your a great man/comedian

you were an excellent entertainer

and told us a lot of jokes

why did ronnie cross the road

because he wanted to live a long and fruitful life

i hope you meet up with ronnie barker because the two ronnies was my favourite show

i love you i love you i love you

you said good night from me and good night from him

you dressed up as so many medieval characters and told jokes about that

i love you i love you i love you

RIP GREAT ENTERTAINER ronnie corbett

johnny matheson’   what show did ronnie corbett regret doing

none of them ‘sorry’ ‘bout that

ummmmmm you performed in a lot of great musicals

even graham norton got to speak to you in person

and i guarantee he enjoyed the experience

it was only recent too, you are a great man ronnie

and death hasn’t stopped you

you will go up to big comedy festival up in the sky

and party on till your next life mate

johnny brown’ and now here is a song by red tape about the late great ronnie corbett


red tape’  

i heard you tell some jokes dude, man you are so cool

and you played medieval characters and dressed up in funny clothes

you were in the good show sorry, and the great show now look here

you see you made us laugh and thanks to youtube you will never die

i went to the stand up comedy shows

and laughed at you like i was losing my teeth

you see it’s nearly anzac day, and you won’t be able to lay a wreath

i find you were like charlie chaplin, the 70s and 80s version anyway

you starred in cinderella back in the year 200 yeah

you did a sketch book show about the two ronnies

he had his own supper club

and mate he had a party in buckingham palace yeah mate yeah

ronnie i wish i was you, ronnie i wish good things for your next life

corbett is on the honour role ****** oath he deserves it

and we sau, no, that’s me over here saying it is sad when the great entertainer dies

ya old dog

johnny matheson’   and now time for the news

a man died yesterday, yeah a man died, it was ronnie corbett

johnny brown’  a religious freak was thrown into the lake

and when he found out that the lake was prohibited to swim in

the man said, he is a jesus freak, he should walk on water

johnny matheson’  google cardboard plastic is the world’s first 'actual reality’ headset,

this video shows how it works

what’s realer than real?  nothing, that’s why google is launching the first ever headset

johnny brown;  pimple popping videos are gross - so what it is that makes us watch them?

johnny matheson’  news flash, john f kennedy has risen from the dead

only to fall over and die again

johnny brown’  that is enough news, so it’s good night from me

johnny matheson’  and it’s good night from him

the two johnny’s together’  and goodbye RIP to our great pal ronnie corbett

i hope you reunite with ronnie barker

good bye from party zone catch ya later dudes

The poor are suffering mate
In the city of Canberra
You see they sit there with hats
Waiting for someone to give 'em cash
You see it is cold in winter
And every day they will suffer
Yeah while the rich are drinking
Wine and talking
I know it is there perogative
To go out to people's houses
While the homeless are suffering every day then
The rich will take their skis
Down the snow
Which is fun but the poor are colder than them
You see they have hot soup
Cause it is a necessity
But the homeless only get it
Once a week
And fat people eat up their sugar
While the homeless are
Having problems every day
They want to have heaps of food
But they have to find a open shelter
I think people are fools ya see
Because they don't give a ****
For the poor
They sit in their rich houses
Saying **** the poor 3 times very fast just to show us
They don't give a ****
You see on Anzac Day
As all the diggers march
Saying the war was a bad place to be
But each homeless person
Suffers every day and night
And as they march they feel like yelling out hey diggers aren't suffering mate like we are suffering now
You don't care for our welfare at all
You see as we walk in the streets of this cold city
We see suffering in the hands of the poor
Nobody really cares unless
They are wanting these people to leave them alone
I always give money to the homeless because wheni I
Go to my nice warm house
There are loads of people without
The right wing government doesn't really care and
The rich who have everything
Really don't care despite taking
5 cents out of 1 million each week
You see the homeless are suffering mate
And we need to help them
Even if they buy ***** with it
Who flaming well cares
Just as long as they get what
They want
You see the people who
Complain drink as well
So why do they complain about
The homeless doing it
No let's help each homeless person 1 at a time
Because they deserve more than people with houses

I am the Unknown Soldier -->
Whether you believe me or not is beside the point.
I accepted the Role and have been trying to fulfil my Duty for 15 years;
Until recently, I've been unsuccessful.
However, I'm a sometimes fast Learner
And this Time round - this Hyper-Real Time round -
I'm pretty sure I've executed my Duty Professionally,
As befits an ANZAC.

I've tried several Battles and lost,
But this recent War (longer than I was led to Believe)
Seems, to me, to be the coup-de-grace,
So intricately woven and administered with utmost confidence;
I've adapted and learnt, absorbed info and fired it off;
Developed my strategies within the conceptual system
And deployed my tactics efficiently,
And, I believe, Lethally,
According to the Laws as they stand.

I've been wounded before and was reluctant to follow suit,
But, when the time was right --> and I was certain -->
I tried to conduct my War with Cold Intelligence and Logical Precision,
Without the Emotive influences that clouded my Judgements previously.

In my Defence, this War was much bigger than I anticipated -->
It's all fine to Declare one's self World War III,
But I didn't realise it would involve other Universes -
That was unanticipated and challenging.

Luckily for me, my sixth sense -
My sense of Humour - was well Disciplined and accommodating,
Rising to the occasion.
Moreover, the Lore I employed was well-honed -->
Sharp and relatively easy to engage and implement.
I tried to keep casualties to a minimum -
Namely myself, and any Fool stupid enough to Conceptualise Themselves.

It helped that I conceived the War
In concepts revolving around what my missus would want of me -
Under the false presumption that I actually had a missus at the time.
Fortunately, I've a good imagination for the Everyman.
I just calculated and Conducted the Campaign according to simple Laws of
"Who's washing the dishes?" and "Who's looking after the kids?"

[Of all the species in the Multi-verse, go figure Humans (that is: **** sapiens sapiens) were the one's to invent and refine the Art of Warfare (A Gentleman's Game of Lethal = Serious ^2). Killing just comes naturally to us! And we often get a perverse sense of pleasure at watching things die. Go figure.]

Smoky Dawson sings up in the afterlife having fun
                                   At rings of Saturn


I am sitting up here enjoying the night
Having so much fun
You ser every day I float around
Thinking about how to enjoy the day
You see down on earth, I walked around
Doing my every day things, and
In hindsight, man I really enjoyed that
Yes, I was so cool, I had my very own show
Which everyone like so much
And before I left, I marched on Anzac day
In the city of Sydney
But now nothing can happen
I can't suffer from a heart attack
Or stroke, or get robbed by baddies
You see, any robber that comes up here
We just blast then back,
You don't have to listen to protocol here
No, you don't at all
When you want to play cricket
And can't find the ball
You don't need to look further, cause
You just zap it in your hand
You see this club I am in right now
The club called Rings of Saturn
I come here every time I want and
Everyone claps me, oh yeah
I love my cricket and I bought that to Saturn
And it was very fun, yes, oh yeah
Now there is cricket every Sunday night
And sometimes Tuesday as well
So when the cricket is over, yes we all went
To Rings of Saturn or Jupiter Moon
And we'll celebrate like crazy, man
We will have so much fun
See you later, I am Smoky Dawson
You've been wonderful
Bye



Sent from my iPhone

Anzac Day is honouring the diggers
Who fought and some died
So we can have a great future in this world
They lay wreaths and do the last post
And say prayers like abide with me
And normally without Corona
We see the leaders of our country and states laying wreaths
Normally we can see the tomb of the unknown Australian soldier
War is terrible but what our diggers did was very very brave
This year it will be interesting to see
How many people wake up at 6-00
And remember our diggers
Because it is important
So many people lost their lives in the war
So many people became wounded in the war
You don’t have to go out this year
But we still can honour our fallen generation
Honour honour honour
The fallen generation
Lest we forget
Our fallen heroes

The calendar is spinning
Every single day of the year
January we open a champagne at the start then we sit there remembering the invasion on the 26th
February time to celebrate multi culturalism and valentine
March it’s Canberra’s birthday where we celebrate
April Easter and Anzac Day to remember the past
Oh yeah the year is fine and the party in every house are cool
Cause the calendar is spinning
Every single day of the year
May time to celebrate a day with your mum
June the start of winter freeze up your *** when the queen celebrates the big freeze at the footy
July the city celebrates with a big skate rink
August time to enjoy the last day of winter with a festival thing
Oh yeah the year goes on and the calendar is spinning my mate
Every single day of the year
September it is the month of the footy finals who will win the great big match
October trying to scare people on Halloween as well as look at a big candle garden in Nara park
November watching Christmas parades on YouTube and Melbourne cup, who will come out and win
December time to celebrate as we sit around the Christmas tree
Giving presents drinking eggnog
Really having a complete ball
The calendar is spinning
Every single day of the year
What a year that comes around for us

It will be sad for those war widows
Who were told so many years ago
Their husbands died in the war
And they had to find somewhere
To lay their body
And so many women became widows
Back in the war
So many indeed
That is why the RSL is around
Because a lot of our diggers lost best friends or mates or brothers
So we have Anzac Day
Where everyone can remember them
I can’t imagine what they were going through and they are reminded of a terrible time
But they need to grieve and they need to go to their driveway and
Remember them
Start at the going down of the sun
And end with we must remember them
We are lucky nowadays that we can choose to fight in the war
Back then they were forced and if they refused they were labelled a coward
Well, we must remember the diggers who fought in world war 1 and world war 2
We must remember them