"alwayz" poems
Every morning I would hear the metal wheels grind against the rails as the garage door opened
Leave for school as you were under the hood staring at horse power repairing every engine that was broken
Returned home and now you’re underneath a different car, your face blackened from the dirt, oil and debris
And at night sometimes I’d hold the flashlight for you, pointing the light at the wrong spots of the engine, I’d help to some degree
Rarely spoke but wrenches clanked, ratchets ticked, screws and bolts rattled and power tools revved
It’s the language that I never understood but it’s the language I know you’ve said
The garage doors would close, I’d smell the scent of Mary Jane coming from your room, swear the odor was limitless
Then I would hear the rifts and solos from the guitar strings that were plucked by your fingertips
Life as a grease monkey and a rockstar but you loved every second of it, you love everything you do
I wish one day I could find my own love and become something just like you
I see why my mother loves you
You called me your son though we’re not blood I swear I miss you in every way
You’ve alwayz told me to look out for my sister and to protect her everyday
Happy birthday
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 3:55 AM UTC
Could it be my destiny to be lonely?
That thought alone alwayz fathoms
Though I make love to them like they’re my soul mates
I treat them like they do not matter
I give my love like cupid but my emotions I turn into an undertaker
I bury them.... afraid that it’ll one day be used against me so I rather play it safer
Could it be my destiny to be alone?
Roam the world lost like a nomad with no place of home
Just tell me you “love me” as I caress your neck with my lips
I steal her soul and feed off of her energy as our tongues twist
I know she’s lying, hell I want her to cuz I can’t afford it to be real
Because I rather have scars from the past than new wounds that have to heal
Could it be my destiny to be in a solitary state?
I write this as I lay here next to her, wish I could remember her name
And she probably doesn’t even remember mine
But it’s fine....
This is continuous, with a new woman in bed alwayz next to me
I’m crying out for help here but for tonight just love me even though you don’t love me because alone is my destiny
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 6:00 AM UTC
I swear I love her, I.... I swear I love her
but I don't understand why I wanna fuvk all the others
She heavy on my mind **** I’m alwayz thinkin of her
But I'm kissing on this stranger plus forgot to use a rubber
My actions is on my conscious,
thinkin my doings are nonsense
don’t know how she has a concept
of me being honest
I promise I'll never lie
but she sees the truth in my eyez
don't even know why I lie
but I do it all the time
The truth is alwayz clear
but the proof is never there
Her pain jus disappears
like magic and smoke & mirrors.... ****
**** I need her, **** **** I need her
I deceive her & she knows it **** I can't fuvkin believe her
Cuz she rather be with me than being all alone
But I swear she was doing good until I came along
Valerie's
misery
seems to be
lead from me
but she won't leave and that's a total mystery
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 1:33 PM UTC
I am not the star who will alwayz shine..
I am not the moon who will alwayz glow..
I am not the sun who will alwayz rise..
I am just the part of it which wants to twinkle. .
A part of mood wch swings n align..
But still cant fit in a proper line..
I wanna stand among the stars..
Selfless bright and always too clear..
Flowing along with soothing glare..
Neva too fast neva too slow..
Just with steady steps n smile to show...
Oct 8, 2012
Oct 8, 2012 at 1:53 PM UTC
To my butterfly; how do you fly so high?
Wishing I was that strong to go against the wind
Against all odds and still you survived
And produced beauty in the end
Started off so soft and grew into a cocoon
had me thinking you’d be guarded
But even in this world so cold
somehow you’ve grown softer from what hardens
Dear butterfly, you give me butterflies
and they alwayz come by the dozens
A tingly sensation when I’m around you,
I feel them soaring through my stomach
I can’t help but smile and stare
cuz I’m staring at ya soul
And when u smile back, it gives me a warmth
that soothes a heart that was cold
Sweet butterfly,
I get weak when you flutter by
So please butterfly
don’t shut ur eyez
because when I look into them........
I fly
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 12:33 PM UTC
2 all tha women I luv’d b4, am I destined 2 be lonely?
I loved each of y’all differently but whole heartily thinking that each of you were my one and only.
2 all tha women I luv’d before, do you miss me? Do you ever still think about us?
All the times we shared, our possible future or even how I’m doing at this moment without ur love.
2 all the women I luv’d before, do you forgive me for my mistakes or do you still hate me to your core?
Though I was in love with ur flaws no ones perfect, there’s alwayz 2 sides to every coin.
To all the women I luv’d before, I wish y’all nothing but prosperity, happiness and all.
And I pray and hope that you find a love that we once called ours
To all the women I loved before, thank you for molding me for my future wife that I still haven’t met.
For she will be the last women I give my heart to, until my daughter breaths her first breath.
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 2:25 PM UTC
I feel like Imma side dude
I've never been put in this type of situation
I can't see you when I want to
and it's not because your schedules conflicted
It's because your restricted,
constricted with her suspicions
and it's not fair cuz she always gets to see you; a clear vision
but y’all not together..............
We can't go out together
cuz someone might see us and tell her
but why does that matter?
cuz y’all not together............
I can't come around your family and chill like I want to
and be around more cuz she might come thru.
But y’all not together..........
We can't talk on the phone sometimes and when we do sometimes you click on me
**** sometimes we can't even text and when we do it bothers her so you can't even send emojis.
But y’all not together........
And I swallow my pride because I wanna be with you
but I don't think you understand how I feel
I have super trust issues
And it ***** me up seeing y'all, like is this even real?
But then why am I tripping
if y’all not together......
What if one of my exes stayed with me, play fought, was jus always around me and slept in the same bed.
and I say “it's ok baby me and her, we're not together....”
You can't say it wouldn't mess with your head
And the thing that hurts the most is that I feel like you’re more considerate of her feelings than mine.
You rather not "get in trouble" or upset her and have my feelings in decline.
But y’all not together..
**** hurts. This Love hurts.
Y’all not together but in proximity are always close
We're together apparently but how can together feel so alone?
And the crazy thing about this whole ordeal is that all that hurt that I hide from you alwayz goes away when I see you or when
we're together.
I love you so much
And with all the things I said and how you make me feel.....
It makes me wonder if this is even real,
if you really, genuinely love me too. If you wanna be together
Or are you still in love with her and just not together?
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 2:50 PM UTC
IM SO OVER PEOPLE LIKE… REAL ***** **** CAUSE KITS ALWAYZ SOMETHING FOR REAL….. LOST MY BESTFRIEND OVER SOME SHIT…..SO BOOO OVER SOME SHIT…..NOW I JUST DON’T GIVE A **** ANYMORE…. REAL N TRULY PEOPLE CAN DO THEM CAUSE IM OUT… END OF THE STORY…..
IM DONE CRYING OVER PEOPLE N FEELING BAD FOR ANYBODY SHIDDDD IM DOIN ME FOR LIFE… MA ALWAYS SAID DON’T EVER CRY OVER NO ***** OR NO ***** SO
FAMILY ALWAYZ MATTER
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 12:38 PM UTC
want a new addiction, want to fall victim
explain to me: why do dem females have similar names?
i was blacklisted and then i got promoted
all my poems were burned by me
and i destroyed all my novels, dramas and stories
blog entries, essays and term paperz...
and every time i closed my eyes, i stopped existing
the creature of the night, ******* of da city
fundamental, livin' under mental conditionz
chanukka and christmaz, gimme me three minutez:
imma be, stay and i'll have claimed my spot in it
no matter where ya at, anthony and antwone,
italo-africanz, meet dem boyz, cry, run, but die
no room for da shy, da law of the chosen few
8000 family memberz, nationwide and global
and don't they dare to fukk around -- we alwayz local
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 12:13 AM UTC
She don't live here no mo’
She left me lonely n cold
She took a part of my soul
The only part that I know
I look in the mirror, reflections unknown
Cuz I don't know who I am, hope I don't lose control
Drugs got me addicted
love has been evicted
From my heart that's been afflicted
Got my Chest feelin constricted
Ready to fight
Feelin hella defensive
but really I'm jus defenseless
Livin’ life jus like a misfit
Sinning to live, got wisdom to give
got these jewels that I drop jus listen to this:
Love will get you killed
blood will pour and spill
and thugz will mourn but still
The pain will resonate
the drugs and all these pills
will turn change into hate
And all the love you feel
will die and slowly fade
turn numb from all the crime
Somewhat like doing time
cuz ur trapped behind bars cuz love left, said goodbye
It's just a stranger
closely kept by danger
and this anger will alwayz linger
locked up in cages
unleashed in stages
random; cannot contain it
no one will understand it or feel how the pain is
so loves is gone
packed up, left me alone,
no one home
and I'm asking where did the love go?
and it shows cuz I ain't the same
tryna hide all the strain
Feelin trapped in my brain
smoke these blunts for the pain
it's kinda hard to maintain
cuz I'm supposed to be strong with no one else for the blame
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 1:42 AM UTC
my back was unpressurized tonight about 3 hours ah, i was about
to type ago. What else, well
just interviewing
myself
about to ask me some questionz. Who is
that person alive somewhere longing to
unshackle themselves / yet keys are within
the thread that it weaves. Yes,
to life, beautifully strengthen one another,
live vicariously and hear it in the thunder.
Bail out of blunderz
ve
all daily wonder of something or another.
Watch
the rain
fall instinctively smoke
rises from desserted dust
laying scorched in the earth
as imaginary beliefs of solutions littering
pollution. Forgiveness the farthest away from our
mind, just strands of dna connected intertwined at
the roots, i am putting on my boot. Think of
correct statements to say that it will alwayz feel, stay
this way. Pause, oxygen circulatez, pattering rain on a roof sounds
like
footsteps marching
unfortunately in battle. The most unjust
cruel
inhumane
self serving consumer
professional mind controlling false deitiez,
this war of loss.
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 23, 2010 at 3:39 AM UTC
I don’t know where to start.....
She has me baffled because I cannot believe she betrayed my trust
She forgot about us
For what? For lust?
Lust mistaken for love
Gained attention from a new source that causes a chain reaction of butterflies and smiles
Her old love has been forgotten
For her new love is exciting
Out with the old in with the new
Deception was formed and you knew...
I yearned for your affection but you ignored my calls
You burned my obsession and you added to my flaws
I’m afraid to love again cause you loved me when I was nothing and I guess I couldn’t
take it
So how will I love again if I feel these girls alwayz fake it....
Our love was sacred, a bond everlasting
But everything has an end and our love never lasted
It died it’s in a casket
Our fires exntinguished and the pain surpasses
the joy that was conceived and received
But I was deceived into this make belief
This so called fairy tale....
Ended up to be my very hell
Left me weary, frail
Trapped in a deadly cell.
Remebering our existence very well....
I’m cursed, I’m hexed
With words and stress
My nerves are wrecked
It’s absurd and yes.....
I still love you, **** I can’t help it
Your smile lingers in my mind and I can’t accept it
That it’s gone and I took it for granted and lost it
Your smile makes me smile, ironic, cuz the pain you caused it
Exhausted........
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 8:55 PM UTC
.
1. When you fall in love, make sure it's with
somebody who treats you exactly how you
deserve to be treated.
.
2. Love somebody who wants to know everything
about you, from your favourite colour to your
childhood memories how you managed to survive
all those years.
.
3. Love somebody who can make you laugh, who
kisses your forehead and who notices all your
flaws but choses to see past them.
.
4. Love somebody who listens to whatever is on
your mind,who protects you and alwayz reminds
you how blessed they are to have found you.
.
5. Love somebody who you can't stay mad at for
more than an hour because you miss speaking to
them, who knows every freckle on your face,
every stretch mark on your thighs, every scar and
every tear.
.
6. Love somebody who you can plan your future
with,and most importantly love somebody who is
God fearing.
.
7. And lastly dont forget to make them feel loved
in return .
.
*If you agree with those 7 reasons i have listed above, Share to your friends.
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 6:06 AM UTC
Missing you terribly
maybe you were right
I alwayz told you to fight
Useless, Im taking flight
See you soon enough
this life is doom
as i sit here wallowing
in this dark room
reminding me of you
*** the pain
show me rain
nothing more to give
call me insane
im really tired
ive suffered soo long
please forgive me
right or wrong...
... Kelcee All
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 9:53 PM UTC
i wish i could just hold you ,and never let u go ..
distract time so that the moment would foreva pass slow
sliiiiide my hands from your shoulders down to your elbows, and
keep going further down till our hands grasp firm ..
if theres something through out the years that i have learned ..
it would be neva play with a womans heart
unless u wana get burned..
these scars remind me that my past was real
its been a while now, but for u i still feel...
alwayz..
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 3:27 AM UTC
I have dreams of chaotic things, visions of blood and gore
Can’t seem to get this madness outside of my mind, afraid to close my eyes anymore.
The carnage that is produced from my imagination is somewhat related to my reality; because I’m living in hell.
The evils that men do motivates me to alwayz do the right thing well.
I’m supposed to be a protector, I run towards the chaos while others are fleein’
But who is supposed to help me with my demons?
I see ghost when I’m awake and monsters in this caged cell called my thoughts.
Even my day dreams aren’t safe to endure.
Paranoia has left me sick without a cough.
Insomnia seems to be the cure.
I have nightmares......
I wake up,
I’m shook up,
I look up,
I say ****
Drenched in cold sweat as I reach for my loaded arm for safety, my point forty five
The death I’ve seen comes back in my dreams at night........
It’s morning, time to shake it off because I have a duty to uphold to others....
Protect them from their nightmares
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 4:10 AM UTC
Ztatic on the television
At zeven in the morning
Dark zircles and frizz
Itchez
Talking. Lotz of talking
Alwayz talking
Heart razing
Chucklez from friends
Lotz of people
Zztart of a newer day
Newer friendzz
Conzztantly zztatic
Loudnezz haunted by quietnezz
Zztatic
Zzzweaty palms
Zzztop and zzzmelling the rozzzes
Zzztatic
Buzzzzing
Watching carzzzz pazzzz by
Wonders buzzzzing about
Zzzzzchedulezzzzz
zzzzzztatic
Zzzzzzzztatic on the television zzzzzzzcrene
. . .
-Sierra Gonzales
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 12:39 AM UTC
The soul is a piece of many but the soul is special im not one but two with my girlfriend we are one but two we can make anything possible we will go from laughing to fighting to crying then back to laughing we are one we will make our souls one or two in our hardest times today we are one yesterday we were two the soul is not one but two people you dont have a soul unless you find your special one the special one is forever you may think you found the one but not when they break your heart your soul is linked with him or her she is alwayz will be treated well if the special is befor her eyes I dont have one but two souls.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 10:25 PM UTC