"alimony" poems
Who can guess the Masquerade of this Time
Such Event is a Turtle; Withdrawn to a Box
None is ever wasted; None is left behind
None is allowed to lick and tether a Fox
It is the Creature; Banned for a Reason
The Furry Red was no benefit to avail
You cannot bargain; Not even for a Season
Better if the Document is stamped by a Snail
At least it was Honest; And hardly Fraud
Shall my Letter then be sent with such Mail
Else cheat your Lover whilst he is Abroad?
Or perhaps better resolve this Bitter Alimony.
Neither you or I in this Picnic we enjoy
The Duckling Issue whose Exit we deploy.
Mar 10, 2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 8:24 PM UTC
well...
she didn't want me...
because i didn't
want to do **** with her...
and because i cooked
better than her;
or as one homosexual said:
**** *** isn't really the norm
in homosexuality,
most **** *** takes place
between heterosexual couples;
maybe i just don't feel
like talking about curtains
and napkins growing
old in front of a television screen?
i think it's called companionship,
without the authority brigade to
get alimony and other stipends
for a degree designating milking-it...
as might require a woman shackling
a partner with a few witnesses,
like priest, lawyer... psychiatrist;
god they're scared... they don't even
fear murdering you,
and when they try to, they just
bellow out: 'my brother is dead!
my brother is dead!' no, he's alive,
he should have been dead 8 years ago,
but you miscalculated;
they're just scared of something
that doesn't resemble a cage,
as every housewife might tell you:
a duck in a cage kept for petting
rather than sloth for quickened
fattening and eating will
make the one eating it loose the plot...
the duck will just pretend to be stupid.
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 3:36 PM UTC
Drunk ***** mother
Screws another another
Hard working father
Taxes alimony smother
Kids home alone
Raised by the brother
Trading her food stamps
For ***** like other drunk tramps
In another car wreck
Drunk ***** fine
Hurt the kids neck
Cops and judge say
What the heck
Just keep sending her
That fat check
Jul 21, 2016
Jul 21, 2016 at 7:22 PM UTC
This Prince was handsome to the extreme.
He had definite movie star looks
That is if movies had been invented
back all those centuries ago.
She was the most beautiful princess
in all the kingdom.
He could not think of anything other
but to make her his bride.
So he set forth on his quest of the heart.
But when he rode up to her castle
though the haunted forest of whispers.
across the river of doom
and the desert of the dragons.
he arrived at her door
and proposed marriage to her
she said
No way!
Apparently, she hated men
and in fact, had a strong
penchant for girls herself.
Not one to dwell on the mysteries
of a woman's heart,
the prince said to himself
fucketh her.
And he turned to a life of bachelorhood.
Never ever to marry.
He bought a Harley Chopper
Dated pretty cheerleaders
and slim models with full bosoms.
And he never once caught his wife
in bed with some guy like his married friends did.
when he got home unexpectldy all was as it should be,
He took up hunting and fishing with his buddies.
raced sports cars at high speed.
spending lonely nights at ***** bars
drinking double malt whiskey
and the finest flagons of ale.
he never heard of ********
or a ******* honey-do list.
Nor did he ever get hit for
child support or alimony.
He kept his castle
and his beloved gun collection
And was as rich as blazes.
HE lived on a diet of fried food
bacon and eggs with sausages and beans
Hot chicken wings and tacos.
snacking on potato chips and gassy pop.
a diet that caused him to
blow enormous loud farts
which made him a revered legend
amongst his cronies.
who all thought he was as cool as hell.
He had loads of money in the bank
And not once in his life
did he ever put the toilet seat down.
And he lived
happily ever after
The End
Goodnight Children
all go. To sleep
Sweet dreams.
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 4:23 AM UTC
Love thy neighbour, so the Bible says
But dont covet his wife it will get you in strife!
Don't look at her body when she calls
Ignore her curves and her beconing calls
Your wife suggested you helped her out
Does she really now what its about?
That day you called when he was out
It wasn't those tools it was all about
All so innocent till she touched your chest
It went downhill and then to bed
A frantic tryst one afternoon
Cries off passion and moans were heard
Then hubby came home and saw you there
The game was up amongst other things
Two marriages ruined and a family split
All for the sake of a bit of "it"
For the wife had watched and often seen
The postman or the huge marine
She had plans all her own
And saw the means to make them so
Sow the seed and watch it grow
A perfect plan to get divorced
All she needed to pull it off
Was for them to be caught
A perfect plot
She hadn't planned on the neighbours anger
When he saw another bang her
So both barells he loosed into them
And sent upstate for ****** two
Far more than her plan had ever required
And now no alimony as hubby died!!
So love thy neighbour is all well and good
Just don't get caught if your stupid enough!
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 10:17 AM UTC
She bore three kids,
Cooked their meals.
Washed and cleaned,
Paid the bills.
Morning game shows
Brought her thrills,
Daytime dramas
Gave her shills.
She juggled schedules
Without a care,
Her kids' chauffeur
Going here and there.
To softball and soccer practices
To see them in a play,
It went on day after day.
The hurts and pains
Wouldn’t go away,
The wrinkles too
Were there to stay.
She moaned and groaned,
She pined all day
Of throbbing joints that ached.
Her hair started turning gray,
She's getting old, a big mistake.
Her rich husband said one day,
This life is not for me,
I'm going my own way,
I'm stifled, need to be free.
I'll give you child support,
You'll have alimony too,
The love is gone,
What else is there to do?
He went away
To start a new life,
She's on her own
To toil and strife.
He up and left her,
Very happy now,
He found himself
A trophy wife.
Mar 14, 2010
Mar 14, 2010 at 5:35 PM UTC
Robot rendezvous and electric engagements
Android alimony to cyborg sexists
Weve created our technological truces
Bound tightly to this digital dance
We wont work without electronic easing
Copy and paste emotion
Upload desires
Forward your sentiments
Firewall the insufferable experience
Logout of life and reboot reality
Let the dry bones regain their flesh
The empty eyepits become filled and see
Electro-spark the cognitive cardiac arrest
And reascend the route from the CPU catacombs
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013 at 2:28 PM UTC
It was late into the night
When Bert Ernie and I
Were traveling across the plans of Nebraska
Much to my surprise
Bert looks me straight in the eyes
And says Mike, I gotta question to ask ya
With Big Bird wrapped up in the trunk
You'd think that he'd already thunk
About this night long before it already happened
When we took Oscar the Grouches can lid
And whacked Big Bird smack dab in the head
Then tied him up tight while he was napping
We rolled him out to curb
Believe me it looked quite absurd
Ernie grunting with Bert complaining as feathers went flying
But as would be our fate
Able to make our planed escape
When Count Von Count took time out to do some feather counting
So this is now where we are
Bert, Ernie, Me, and Big Bird in the trunk of our car
Not really knowing where it is we are heading
Our thinking went only as far
As nabbing Big Bird and the get away car
Putting Ernie in charge wasn't such a good idea is what I am betting
Ernie says he's figured it all out
Bert says we need this, but still has his doubts
Cause Bert owes back pay alimony and Ernie his ******
We head to Ernie's planed drop off spot
And of course it's swarming with cops
While our inside man " The Monster " gave us up for Cookies
They let Big Bird out of the trunk
Who proceeded to slap us punch drunk
Then straight to the judge to pay for this hideous crime
I can't think of any worse fate
I now know this was a fatal mistake
The sentence...
Banished to Sesame Street for life, now that is hard time
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 7:41 PM UTC
A **** was set free even though he committed a crime.
The reason why he was set free was because I'm a Mime.
I was on the witness stand but because I'm a Mime, I wouldn't talk.
I take my job way too seriously and that was why that criminal walked.
Because I wouldn't testify, everybody in the courtroom started to yell.
The judge was so mad that he found me in contempt and put me in jail.
People are still angry because I wouldn't give my testimony.
My wife divorced me and now I have to pay her alimony.
If I hadn't taken my job so seriously, that criminal would be rotting in prison.
I'm going to get a new career because that's something that needs to be done.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 7:44 PM UTC
For twenty years
they loved and bickered
She was smarter,
he was quicker.
They then divorced
In acrimony
He got freedom
She got alimony.
For ten years then
They lived apart.
But hunger grew
within each heart.
So they remarried
Made a new start
And this time only
Death did part.
What did he tell friends?
What was his take?
“We got divorced
But it was a mistake.”
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 11:15 AM UTC
Without any riches of money.
I'm happy.
I don't see too many millionaires able to say it.
They more into investments and divorces and paying of alimony.
Without many fancy things.
I'm happy.
Just living my life keeps me at it.
Life wasn't giving to be stressed but stress free.
Like a child with a smiling face and no worries.
Yes, I'm happy to be love.
Family, friends which requires no money.
Happiness is, anything that keeps you smiling.
Dec 4, 2013
Dec 4, 2013 at 7:25 AM UTC
bewilderment, many more women than men, and still so few a man committing polygamy, it's almost like the mirroring of so many men committing suicide; the loss of the practice of polygamy leaves so many men committing suicide prematurely, leaving so many women alive to give the abnormal ratio without an actual diseased cause of death of men, hence the statistics.
just when you start enjoying it,
you stop,
there are so many going to restaurants,
but you're just a turkey
readied for stuffing,
you gorge on it
like traffic in Hinduism with
the holy cow that's a pedestrian
in England...
chomp and chop the food
like a toilet blockage,
you eat it without a palette,
no cheese and crackers after,
no candlelight, no wine,
it's a strange looking necessity,
esp. once digested;
it's as necessary as death for your
engagement: you have to eat,
you have to die...
i eat to add to the insomnia cure
because i should but can't pay alimony
payments because an engagement is
not lawfully enforced...
chemists are natural bachelors,
i told you, but you wouldn't
understand...
you were the ******* of youth,
the girl aged thirteen prone to suicide
and still the many numbers of men
committing to the act of suicide...
the law is in your favour, since you're
the incubator of it, the womb,
any rich **** can provide the Semitic root
of it all, cutting the excess skin of genitalia
of one *** whether ******** or ********
you think you won't get anti-ontological
behaviour? if what was intended was intended
and you play and revise the **** thing,
do you think the answering reason will
not look ridiculous enough to not attract ridicule
like a cow and flies, ready to spawn maggots
in the wet eye sockets?
you must be joking then!
monotheism was born in the halo
of revising mankind, abraham's snipping
isaac's "excess" skin...
it took place there... but revising a second
time with female circumcision...
well, revising humanity like that
gave us all the possible abominations accessible...
how can you teach the origin of man
with that ugly aesthetic of being furry
and a blunted snout of the gorilla
and not wonder why revising man
to an over-eager representation of engaging in ***
not combine into a holocaust...
you steal the sheath of the sword from the sword,
you'll find it constantly warring,
because that's what circumcision did,
it stole the sheath of the sword...
and no, this isn't crude imagery, ******
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 8:28 PM UTC
well... technically every *********** is an abortion,
i have it all the time, but when a woman has it,
esp. a Russian orthodox rich girl
it's time to call the Mamelukes
because "a mongol horde is invading",
there was nothing legally binding me
to alimony payments, no marriage
certificate, but my friend,
you meddle in other people's private life,
think you're the man with a career
in law but end up staging
your little: the judge, the jury the executioner
in your bedroom? FORGET IT!
you're just a lawyer, a scavenger,
you don't get to play the game 'who's your daddy'
so easily... you think you're allowed to provide
the architecture of a courtroom in your bedroom...
you're wrong.
take your little orthodox russian *****
with my ******* son and live a long life...
i asked her: i don't mind using condoms,
she said, ********* into me, i'm on
contraceptive pills... two apartments
in St. Petersburg and getting a degree in Edinburgh
you think she's poor? doubt it,
i'm not going to be a ploughing work-horse...
and forging your attempt to placebo the pills with lies...
all that feminism and still the russian
girls think they're killing a human being...
but like i said: the bladder and the ****
develop outside the womb, well brain too,
but the **** and bladder are more important
for the ***** what you're aborting
is just as much a tadpole as a fishy stink;
is your argument caused by the fact
that you gave the Star of Bethlehem to Jesus
and not Joseph because of Mary's fancy
for a centurion? it has to be! way-hey mainstream,
give it to the kid and you get Freud...
god i hate Freud... not because he's a jew,
it just made the whole being born a neurosis,
you need test-tubes, surrogate mothers, IVF,
two Elton Johns to not feel a stigma...
even if the world is harsh on you and you end up
living with your parents... mother *******
if they all adopted the Caesarian technique of giving
birth there would be no Freud;
well say goodbye to Darwin with that...
obstructing the Caesarian intervention with Genesis quotes
will still produce heads sticking out of vaginas
and by god that's no Michaelangelo.
May 6, 2016
May 6, 2016 at 7:02 PM UTC
You stole my breath
but needed only ask.
Gave love freely
and demanded the same back.
You took no ****
so never gave one.
You showed me the way
- my eyes followed you -
to feel no regret.
You were bold and brazen,
I was empathetically italicized,
leaning on you
in times of duress.
You gave and gave and gave and gave and gave
two-bit trinkets
half-assed like alimony.
I took and took and took until
I was overburdened and
rooted in place.
You walked away like an action hero
and never looked back.
You showed me the way
- my eyes followed you -
straight out the window.
Yesterday you gave
me a call. Said
you were fine.
I didn't ask
if you felt my eyes
searching you out
in dreams,
digging deeper through memories
to us, together.
You teaching me to love
selfishly,
showing me the way you did.
My eyes followed you,
followed yours
following her,
and you showed me the way
you felt no regrets.
Perhaps sometime I can show you
how I find my way
straight out the window
and let your eyes follow me
down.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 9:35 PM UTC
*Send me the pillow
That you dream on
Don't you know
That I still care for you*
Those sad lyrics. .
Those sad Sapp endearment
Now it's butch where
Is my alimony. .where is
The child support money.
Nothing last for ever.
Words, words, words,
Thank God I divorce you
Sep 10, 2015
Sep 10, 2015 at 6:31 AM UTC
I can't feel for a fool.
Who lost everything in a divorce.
It probably was your decision.
It probably was your choice.
Then again, it might not have been.
Once upon a dream, you both were good friends.
And most divorces happens cause you let another enter in.
The cars, the mansion and the money too.
Only high light the seriousness of your trust.
Which seems amongst the rich not to exist.
I can't feel for a fool.
Who simply goes broke?
Bad investments, bad decision and bad choices.
When they fail to listen to their inner voices.
Which advises them better than associates.
Just listening to their commentary.
You come across seeing it as a laughing matter.
The athlete.
The businessman chasing women as a sport.
Sad thing about all of this mess.
The women that played the game ends up getting the blame.
And a loser too.
For, when he's broke and desolute.
Whom are they going to find to foot the financial bill.
The life style.
The child support.
The alimony.
That many needs to survive.
After all, the fool no longer can assist you.
Cause from looking at him.
He's hurting too.
I guess this is why this poem title the fool?
Dec 26, 2012
Dec 26, 2012 at 10:24 AM UTC
Scary Larry,
The Margarita Fairy
Could drink anything,
As long as it wasn’t dairy.
Bollocky Pollack
Hung up his smock
Covered with paint
Put it on the auction block.
Seven eight nine
Friends of mine
Are really just fine
Without toeing a line.
Five six seven
It is rather like heaven
To be gladly given
A life worth living.
And Yeaster Bunny
Thinking he was funny
Baked bread dildoes
That sold for bags of money.
Scott Tissue
Said “We’re gonna miss you.
Your bread will sell quicker
If don’t make it an issue.”
Seven eight nine
Friends of mine
Are really just fine
Without toeing a line.
Five six seven
It is rather like heaven
To be gladly given
A life worth living.
Phony Joanie
Wishes for alimony
But refuses to divorce
Her husband Tony.
Decided she plans
To keep him instead.
Good for ready money
Though he's lousy in bed.
Seven eight nine
Friends of mine
Are really just fine
Without toeing a line.
Five six seven
It is rather like heaven
To be gladly given
A life worth living.
**** Poncho,
Everybody seems to
Dig his Mayan body
If only for a day or two.
Then he's off to play
With somebody new
Maybe some other day
He'll make it back to you.
Seven eight nine
Friends of mine
Are really just fine
Without toeing a line.
Five six seven
It is rather like heaven
To be gladly given
A life worth living.
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 23, 2016 at 3:11 PM UTC
Scary Larry,
The Margarita Fairy
Could drink anything,
As long as it wasn’t dairy.
Bollocky Pollack
Put up his smock
Covered with paint
On the auction block.
Seven eight nine
Friends of mine
Are really just fine
Without toeing a line.
Five six seven
It is rather like heaven
To be gladly given
A life worth living.
And Yeaster Bunny
Thinking he was funny
Baked bread dildoes
That sold for bags of money.
Scott Tissue
Said “We’re gonna miss you.
Your bread will sell quicker
If don’t make *** an issue.”
Two three four
What are friends for
If you don’t accept them
Then throw them out the door?
Besides variety
Is much more fun
Than always being alone
With number one
Phony Joanie
Wishes for alimony
But refuses to divorce
Her husband Tony.
Skinny Lenny
First cousin of Kenny
Lives with nobody
But sleeps with many.
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 9:47 PM UTC
Oh, the joys of the life of a cowboy
Just a few men and horses.
No worry about traffic and crowds
No alimony, no divorces.
Looking around at those strong fellows
In their skin-tight denim pants.
Surely they might look around at them
And ask one of them to dance.
Cowboys seem to like to ride the range
I’d ride the ranger instead;
Show him just how much can be arranged
By two men in a bunk bed.
There’d be an especially nice reward
At the end of a long ride.
The is not a doubt in my mind at all
That he would be satisfied.
After a career of bouncing and bucking
Surely he can take a bit more.
I would do my absolute best to be sure
That he would not end up sore.
Well, at least not in the usual places;
The kind that bows his thighs.
And if he is not that good at it at first
I’ll gladly give him more tries.
Oh the joys of the life of a cowboy
Just a few men and horses.
No worry about traffic and crowds
No alimony, no divorces.
Looking around at those strong fellows
In their skin-tight denim pants.
Surely they might look around at them
And ask one of them to dance.
Those folks who think this is too offensive,
Guys think of cheerleaders instead.
Gals think of watching sport figures at play
And ***** things you do in your head.
There’s not really all that much difference;
It’s all a salacious fantasy.
I don’t begrudge you those hot steamy dreams
I won’t let you deny to of me.
Oh the joys of the life of a cowboy
Just a few men and horses.
No worry about traffic and crowds
No alimony, no divorces.
Looking around at those strong fellows
In their skin-tight denim pants.
Surely they might look around at them
And ask one of them to dance.
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 27, 2017 at 5:52 PM UTC
the alimony money
keeps me
warmer
than you ever did
it keeps
me toasty warm
every folding quid
you never stayed
at home
to pour your love
on me
these days
it's so grand
being enfolded
in your money
it was a D Day
in the divorce court
you had to pay me
a big payout
for all those years
you'd been
playing about
I sleep the sleep
of the thankful
that indeed I do
with the cash recompense
which fell
so rightfully due
looking back on those times
when my man
wasn't at my side
he was chasing
other skirts
being most untrue
to his bride
my heart is comforted
at the amount of dough
I possess
such a substantial sum
of happy redress
honey your alimony money
makes my life so so sunny
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 6:13 PM UTC
If you leave me
I will send you poetry
And if we marry
And you leave me
I will send you poetry
And alimony
And if your new guy beats me
I will still send you poetry
Your bones could leave this sad world baby
And I'd just switch to elegies
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 5:39 PM UTC
I sent a leg UPS to
my mom
she needed one
she been all gimpy
for twenty years now
sent my brother
my middle finger
my dead dad
a hallejuah
my son a missive via
twitter
he aint responded,
my ex her alimony
check written
on rubber ,
a used one,
called my girl
she was busy again-
she aint got a job but
sure stays busy-
my dealer ,
I sent a Christmas card
birthday card
called him on our anniversary,
he was my best man
at my wedding,
we borrowed his
Porsche
for our honeymoon,
hope he don't know what we did
with his gear shift,
I sent the IRS
an IOU
again.
Jan 11, 2017
Jan 11, 2017 at 9:34 PM UTC
We thought to stand up
after awhile but we
are on our way
back to all fours, if we
keep looking down at our phones.
we'll just be morons with fewer
neurons but enough robots to run the
world household and force ourselves
out of business, I'm not marching
for Robotic rights, or getting a
computer chip to turn my memories or
the songs in my head into
.doc and mp3's or have
Powerpoint files of parental
divorce and alimony court.
Apr 3, 2013
Apr 3, 2013 at 8:06 PM UTC
The Single Prince------ a fairy tale for adults ---By Jude Kyrie
He was handsome to the extreme.
Definite movie star looks
if movies had been invented
back all those centuries ago.
She was the most beautiful princess
in all the kingdom.
He could not think of anything
but to make her his bride.
So he set forth on his quest of the heart.
But when he rode up to her castle
through the haunted forest of whispers.
across the river of doom
and the desert of the dragons.
he arrived at her door
and proposed marriage to her
she said
No way!Apparently, she hated men
and in fact, had a strong penchant
for girls herself.
Not one to dwell on the mysteries
of a woman's heart, the prince said
fucketh her.
And turned to a life of bachelorhood.
He bought a Harley Chopper
Dated pretty cheerleaders
and slim models with full bosoms.
and never once caught his wife
in bed with some guy
when he got home unexpectedly
He took up hunting and fishing with his buddies.
raced sports cars at high speed.
spending lonely nights at ***** bars
drinking double malt whiskey
and the finest flagons of ale.
he never heard of ********
or a ******* honey-do list.
Nor did he ever get hit for
child support or alimony.
He kept his castle
and his beloved gun collection
and lived on a diet of fried food
bacon and eggs with sausages and beans
snacking on potato chips.
a diet that caused him to
blow enormous loud farts
which made him a legend
amongst his cronies.
who all thought he was as cool as hell.
He had loads of money in the bank
And not once in his life
did he ever put the toilet seat down.
And he lived
happily ever after
The End
Dec 30, 2017
Dec 30, 2017 at 6:35 PM UTC