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"affinity" poems
How comes it, Flora, that, whenever we Play cards together, you invariably, However the pack parts, Still hold the Queen of Hearts? I've scanned you with a scrutinizing gaze, Resolved to fathom these your secret ways: But, sift them as I will, Your ways are secret still. I cut and shuffle; shuffle, cut, again; But all my cutting, shuffling, proves in vain: Vain hope, vain forethought, too; That Queen still falls to you. I dropped her once, prepense; but, ere the deal Was dealt, your instinct seemed her loss to feel: "There should be one card more," You said, and searched the floor. I cheated once: I made a private notch In Heart-Queen's back, and kept a lynx-eyed watch; Yet such another back Deceived me in the pack: The Queen of Clubs assumed by arts unknown An imitative dint that seemed my own; This notch, not of my doing, Misled me to my ruin. It baffles me to puzzle out the clew, Which must be skill, or craft, or luck in you: Unless, indeed, it be Natural affinity.
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The Queen Of Hearts
I want you to put me on your tongue and let me dissolve into you like the tiny white squares that turn those glossy hazel marbles into black holes and intense stares. I want you to kiss me and see negative colored rulers in the corner of your vision and I want you to have trouble making a decision between kissing me and observing me while I'm sitting on your chest and I want you to laugh like you did with your cherry colored lip curled over your childish grin over and over and over again and I want you to forget the conversation topic every time you close your eyes because the world inside of your mind is filled with blinking images that you can't quite explain aloud so you settle for little talks about Rosa Parks and Indian style kisses and how the ocean is the Earth's thing or the complexity of butterfly brains and whether or not they remember their caterpillar memories (they do). Describe to me the first time you saw your favorite color and what developed the affinity for it: yours, a glacier blue toy that resembled the ocean and mine, a lavender Easter dress that twirled when I spun. Tell me about your school crushes when you were four and what you got your clothespin moved to the sad face for and I'll write it all in ink on my knee caps because "God, we're such writers" and you'll check the clock in the gaps and search for tunes or lighters and I'll want time to slow down because the nights spent with you usually seem as though minutes are just a few seconds shy of sixty, which turns the little hand pretty quickly. I want hours, weeks, decades, to analyze the freckles on your face or the pace at which you move your tongue and precisely how it tastes. I want you to tell me that your brother would like me and about the mountains in Tennessee and maybe next time I'll try to stay awake, unless you want to listen to the way I breathe so fully when I dream. When I close my eyes, I want to be able to see what you see. I want you to keep burying the numb parts of you into the warm parts of me.
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May 29, 2015
May 29, 2015 at 4:32 AM UTC
LSD
I want you to put me on your tongue and let me dissolve into you like the tiny white squares that turn those glossy hazel marbles into black holes and intense stares. I want you to kiss me and see negative colored rulers in the corner of your vision and I want you to have trouble making a decision between kissing me and observing me while I'm sitting on your chest and I want you to laugh like you did with your cherry colored lip curled over your childish grin over and over and over again and I want you to forget the conversation topic every time you close your eyes because the world inside of your mind is filled with blinking images that you can't quite explain aloud so you settle for little talks about Rosa Parks and Indian style kisses and how the ocean is the Earth's thing or the complexity of butterfly brains and whether or not they remember their caterpillar memories (they do). Describe to me the first time you saw your favorite color and what developed the affinity for it: yours, a glacier blue toy that resembled the ocean and mine, a lavender Easter dress that twirled when I spun. Tell me about your school crushes when you were four and what you got your clothespin moved to the sad face for and I'll write it all in ink on my knee caps because "God, we're such writers" and you'll check the clock in the gaps and search for tunes or lighters and I'll want time to slow down because the nights spent with you usually seem as though minutes are just a few seconds shy of sixty, which turns the little hand pretty quickly. I want hours, weeks, decades, to analyze the freckles on your face or the pace at which you move your tongue and precisely how it tastes. I want you to tell me that your brother would like me and about the mountains in Tennessee and maybe next time I'll try to stay awake, unless you want to listen to the way I breathe so fully when I dream. When I close my eyes, I want to be able to see what you see. I want you to keep burying the numb parts of you into the warm parts of me.
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The word “identity” has two different meanings: 1. The fact of being who or what a person or thing is. 2. A close similarity or affinity. I would like to focus on the first meaning. My identity is based on who I am as a person. It’s based on the things I do and don’t like. My identity is based on the clothes I wear. My identity is based on the way I choose to talk. My identity is based on my thoughts and opinions. My identity isn’t based on my Autism or Anxiety. Some people say they’re identity is their Autism. And if they’re happy with that, that’s great. But I was just recently diagnosed with Autism. And while I have had it my entire life. I didn’t know anything about it. I did, however, know that I had anxiety issues. I’ve had anxiety for a long time, and it’s bad. I can recognize when an attack is gonna happen. This isn’t always the case, but a lot of the time, it is. I know what helps me when I have an anxiety attack. I have an understanding of what I can and can't handle. My Autism, on the other hand, is still a mystery to me. I know that it affects the way I think and learn. I know it’s the reason for why I am sensitive to temperature. I know it’s why so had such a hard time in school. But I refuse to say that my Autism and anxiety identify me as a person. I have known my personality way long never than both my Autism and anxiety combined. This isn’t true for everyone, but it is for me. This is the way I choose to approach my Autism and anxiety. I’m Autistic, and I’m not ashamed of it. I have anxiety, and I’m working hard on it. But I’m not Autism, and I’m not Anxiety. I’m me. And I will always stand by this train of thought. I know that there are times when my interests become my coping skills. But when I’m not anxious, then they are just my interests. When I’m having an anxiety attack, then they are the skills I need in order to function. Right now, this isn’t a coping skill. My writing this, isn’t a form of therapy. This is an interest of mine. I love to write, and was thinking about this, so I decided to speak my mind. I’m happy to say I’m happy right now. I don’t feel a bit of stress, and if I do, then one of my interests will be used to help me through it. Until then, I’m just doing what makes me happy. And I’m happy that I know myself well to recognize this. You don’t have to agree with me on anything I just said. I just ask that you respect that these are my opinions. I’m an individual who just happens to have Autism and anxiety. Alright, that’s all I got, I’ve just been in a writing mood over the last few days.
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Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 2:37 PM UTC
My Identity vs My Autism vs My Anxiety
The word “identity” has two different meanings: 1. The fact of being who or what a person or thing is. 2. A close similarity or affinity. I would like to focus on the first meaning. My identity is based on who I am as a person. It’s based on the things I do and don’t like. My identity is based on the clothes I wear. My identity is based on the way I choose to talk. My identity is based on my thoughts and opinions. My identity isn’t based on my Autism or Anxiety. Some people say they’re identity is their Autism. And if they’re happy with that, that’s great. But I was just recently diagnosed with Autism. And while I have had it my entire life. I didn’t know anything about it. I did, however, know that I had anxiety issues. I’ve had anxiety for a long time, and it’s bad. I can recognize when an attack is gonna happen. This isn’t always the case, but a lot of the time, it is. I know what helps me when I have an anxiety attack. I have an understanding of what I can and can't handle. My Autism, on the other hand, is still a mystery to me. I know that it affects the way I think and learn. I know it’s the reason for why I am sensitive to temperature. I know it’s why so had such a hard time in school. But I refuse to say that my Autism and anxiety identify me as a person. I have known my personality way long never than both my Autism and anxiety combined. This isn’t true for everyone, but it is for me. This is the way I choose to approach my Autism and anxiety. I’m Autistic, and I’m not ashamed of it. I have anxiety, and I’m working hard on it. But I’m not Autism, and I’m not Anxiety. I’m me. And I will always stand by this train of thought. I know that there are times when my interests become my coping skills. But when I’m not anxious, then they are just my interests. When I’m having an anxiety attack, then they are the skills I need in order to function. Right now, this isn’t a coping skill. My writing this, isn’t a form of therapy. This is an interest of mine. I love to write, and was thinking about this, so I decided to speak my mind. I’m happy to say I’m happy right now. I don’t feel a bit of stress, and if I do, then one of my interests will be used to help me through it. Until then, I’m just doing what makes me happy. And I’m happy that I know myself well to recognize this. You don’t have to agree with me on anything I just said. I just ask that you respect that these are my opinions. I’m an individual who just happens to have Autism and anxiety. Alright, that’s all I got, I’ve just been in a writing mood over the last few days.
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49
An exchange of temptations that led to a hidden ordeal On an act of carnal ecstasy made to seal a deal The gamble to see if it’s worth lending a piece of the soul While trembling inside for the choices that would soon take toll The signs of deceit slowly surfaced but were shrugged despite suspicion Until a hasty flight provoked inner unrest and affliction Vivid memories of a previous torment come back haunting Knowing full well the Succubus affinity for betraying With logic and reason as both weapon and armor Against an enemy not easily made for capture Bargaining on a final bet that her grip be brought to nothing To release the mind from seemingly rotting The bargain commenced along with foreseen treason The sought peace only a hollow victory in a silently echoing frustration In total silence with a feeling that heavily burned A mental wall built to signify the lesson learned Screams of pain of the innards locked away in reticence Occurring to just seemingly mock the brilliance With great resolve brought by the treachery writhing in virulence Came the vigilance of avoiding such penitence And to never again taste the Succubus’ Sting in Silence
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Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 9:09 PM UTC
Succubus Sting in Silence
I find myself and I feel myself slowly falling down into your gaze, but is this right? is this okay? It's everything I'm afraid of, everything I'm unsure of. . . Am I? Am I even good enough? to grow with you, to move with you, to just be- with you, in harmony? to ebb and flow- its hard ya know..? to take the good with the bad, not many can handle that. it's a long, hard road paved by patience with diligence, allegiance, and constant cognizance; that's not to mention pure intent, unconditional love, and always going beyond and above... is this.. could this.. could this be what we're capable of? when I think of the possibilities, the places we can go, the faces we'll see, the some that we'll know, the many opportunities. . . w      o      a      h the thought; it ties my stomach in knots the tension; its so easily broken like a button upon cloth held by a thread SNAP I'm a wreck... and its just waiting to happen like the many times before.. I can't, you can't, we can't they all end in divorce.. oh sweet, sweet discourse who knows, I can't predict the future, but what I do know is that you may be the one to sway me but only I can save me from myself.. and the last thing I'd do is ask you for any type of help so give me the time I need and maybe it'll be everly after happy!
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Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 7:49 PM UTC
To Affinity and Beyond
I am an old soul with an open heart to love like that of a child It is never really hard Anyway We're all but children Trying to sort chaos In these adult forms We're just stuck In the land of not Neverland. 9 to 5 menial jobs Whether in the night or day We take whatever luck That comes in our way Life is a circus We ******* know it Like an elephant in the pedestal They beat us to it Your chest houses a lodestone treasure It strongly attracts The every atom in my body That's the least I can measure We have an affinity This is some sort of attraction You A darling boy and I am Just a girl Let's get out of this world Together let's fly away Be my Peter Pan I'll be your Wendy
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Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015 at 12:13 PM UTC
*not* Neverland
I was awoken from a dreamless sleep      By a boy with short brown hair,      Who, with an urgent stare, Told me to head to the showers! As my eyes creaked open to recognize,      The orange glow of this unfamiliar room’s lighting,      In front of me, in handwritten writing, A page on the wall showed three in the morning. When I glanced around a room of shared bunks,      I saw all sorts of people and things,      Running around with things to bring To these showers I had yet to see. In a winding line down a high ceiling’d hall,      I stood with so many,      Who like me, hadn’t any Idea what was going on. With a whirlwind flurry of commotion      Steam crawled from the showers and water sprayed,      As we were told in a big disarray, To wash off the place from whence we came. In a neat little stack, I was handed my clothes      A tunic, with a sash      And a captivating mask To “celebrate our exciting return home.” Down dark rustic stairways, I watched like a child      The vibrant light and affinity,      Radiating with enchanting divinity, From the otherworldly people and creatures below. Through that noisy, jolly crowd,      We were led as a group      And the boy said with a whoop That we were all to stand up and dance. His eyes glinting with excitement,      The brown haired boy explained      That our spirits would be ordained Through a celebration of our inner light. Onto the stage I was led      As I stood with my class,      Nervous amongst the mass Of silent, numerous spirits before us. As the boy hit the music      I felt something from deep inside      Rush out like a tide And through tears of joy, I danced. It was at that gleeful moment      That my friends and I,      Realizing we'd died, Knew we'd returned to the forest.
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Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 10:59 AM UTC
the forest
I was awoken from a dreamless sleep      By a boy with short brown hair,      Who, with an urgent stare, Told me to head to the showers! As my eyes creaked open to recognize,      The orange glow of this unfamiliar room’s lighting,      In front of me, in handwritten writing, A page on the wall showed three in the morning. When I glanced around a room of shared bunks,      I saw all sorts of people and things,      Running around with things to bring To these showers I had yet to see. In a winding line down a high ceiling’d hall,      I stood with so many,      Who like me, hadn’t any Idea what was going on. With a whirlwind flurry of commotion      Steam crawled from the showers and water sprayed,      As we were told in a big disarray, To wash off the place from whence we came. In a neat little stack, I was handed my clothes      A tunic, with a sash      And a captivating mask To “celebrate our exciting return home.” Down dark rustic stairways, I watched like a child      The vibrant light and affinity,      Radiating with enchanting divinity, From the otherworldly people and creatures below. Through that noisy, jolly crowd,      We were led as a group      And the boy said with a whoop That we were all to stand up and dance. His eyes glinting with excitement,      The brown haired boy explained      That our spirits would be ordained Through a celebration of our inner light. Onto the stage I was led      As I stood with my class,      Nervous amongst the mass Of silent, numerous spirits before us. As the boy hit the music      I felt something from deep inside      Rush out like a tide And through tears of joy, I danced. It was at that gleeful moment      That my friends and I,      Realizing we'd died, Knew we'd returned to the forest.
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48
is a carniverous cemetery, is a pacifier, is a dry **** on a friday night, is only enough liquor to get you buzzed, is a ****** bag cop, is a church with splintered pews, is sinners scared shitless, is a two-year-old with an affinity for violence, is my ex-girlfriend, is paranoid, is a blanket of all your favorite prescription pills, is worried sorority girls in dark-wash jeans, is unshaved, is a cancer, is a perpetual spell-check, is lonely, is my mother and a god-awful toothache.
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Oct 21, 2010
Oct 21, 2010 at 11:42 AM UTC
this city
There is a dragon in my closet He has dark brown eyes Pale skin A south Bronx accent and an affinity for breathing fire Some people have skeletons I have a dragon who has lived off of my insecurities, My pain So he's nice and fat... When I was alone His shadow loomed underneath the closet door I pretended to not see it His footsteps made the whole house shake But I pretended not to hear it Now I lay in bed at night with the one I love And can no longer ignore it Time to be my own knight in shining armor Open the closet door and the slay the dragon He may be a dragon That burns up all that is in his path But I am a phoenix Who rises from his destruction to become even stronger than before.                                                          I'm going to kick his ***
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Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 9:39 PM UTC
There's a Dragon in My Closet
I've learned my ABCs at one, learned to read by four, constructed my paragraphs at six, a know-it-all reciting parts of speech by seven. Letters assembled themselves ready for scrabble. Rocks, paper, scissors, I never learned to let go of the paper. And grew up with dry fingers caressing books. Breathing in language and literature. They say you can only love something so much until it leaves you empty. But I've only ever truly loved a few things about life, and first was how words strung empathy. The way I wrote about tying yellow ribbons on trees for a hero at eleven, wrote about anything that won me passports to a passion I had to sacrifice a few years later after fourteen, wrote about the boy who broke my heart at seventeen, wrote about the monsters in my head at nineteen. I don't know how words always found me whenever I tried to run away from the world; how they kept my sanity along with melodies for as long as I can remember, and made countless others feel less alone. What I love is a weapon that has sparked revolutions, waged wars. What I love is art that built acropolises from embers and most the world's wonders. It rushes euphoriant through my veins as much as it does through yours, yet it is neither blood nor oxygen. It is all the words burning as we keep them hidden, dying for us to give them meaning.
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Aug 29, 2017
Aug 29, 2017 at 11:54 PM UTC
Affinity
Did you whisper a prayer before the roar of the inevitable end? Should we have listened harder, held you closer, and tried so very much more to persuade your troubled mind not to let go? I don't know. You, in all your lightness held me so convincingly in oblivion of your parched spirit. Too many years of despair, I reckon. And too little human affinity found. I will never know, what drove your final decision to meet the vast unknown. It terrifies me to think that you felt that was the only choice. But even if I grieve that you will never light up the world with your dazzling smile, gentle touch, or kindness anymore. I see you for the brave and wondrous creature that you are. Brave to live so far. And brave to end it. Nothing grows now, the dry spell hit this summer hard. And yet... The gentle fragrance of all blossoms linger in the air ever since you took your leave.
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Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 1:43 PM UTC
Gentle fragrance of every flower
There she is, standing alone, waiting, like every day, with me as her silent shadow. Silver rain falls in great drops and a cold breeze gives her shivers causing me equal agony. Her raven hair makes the pale skin shine white, clean like a statue. A sight which stops everything around. She looks my way, giving a sign and her scarlet lips open like flowers seducing me, making me blush. But fool, now she’s gone and I stand alone, waiting, like every day, for her return.
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Nov 15, 2018
Nov 15, 2018 at 9:50 AM UTC
Silent Affinity
On its back, The cockroach, In a jacket of red wings, Slender legs, And bulging abdomen, Like the tummy of African statesman, Its legs wallowing in despair, In the air, Stamping the spread eagled, Hind and forelimbs, Of the poor anthropod, Kicking and waving, A cry for the succor, To be freed from ebola, Or breaking the *** tether, Or un-doing strong bonds of poverty, Three districts under leprosy, In the domain of the bull’s eye, Where lesbians and gays swallow raw fate, Its salient manifestation, Then the cockroach kicks silently, Anticipating for salvage, But when the domain owner comes, He steps with full weight, His foot dressed in military boots, From the previous legacy of Che Gue Vara, On the belly of the kakerlag at Berlin Wall, Bursting its stomach but hopscotch, Spilling the white stuff out, Of poverty and mental dilemma, Amid hopelessness in future and history, As terrorism mires tomorrow, When China reigns today, At mercy of contemporary panjandrums, Moving from white to black And from black to face book, Killing those who fall in commercial love, As if money is the ***** for nuptial night, But only to go forth ignobled, Without making momentous affinity, In the realm of ill fated cockroach back-dom, Sending Mafousian Egypt to Swedish table, Without scorn and regard for true African blood, Where will I apologize? If the ****** bug Enters my head and heart, To blind my logical eyes, Only to open wide The senses that see and feel Religion and race; O! Al Qaeda!
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Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 6:17 AM UTC
THE COCKROACH ON ITS BACK
On its back, The cockroach, In a jacket of red wings, Slender legs, And bulging abdomen, Like the tummy of African statesman, Its legs wallowing in despair, In the air, Stamping the spread eagled, Hind and forelimbs, Of the poor anthropod, Kicking and waving, A cry for the succor, To be freed from ebola, Or breaking the *** tether, Or un-doing strong bonds of poverty, Three districts under leprosy, In the domain of the bull’s eye, Where lesbians and gays swallow raw fate, Its salient manifestation, Then the cockroach kicks silently, Anticipating for salvage, But when the domain owner comes, He steps with full weight, His foot dressed in military boots, From the previous legacy of Che Gue Vara, On the belly of the kakerlag at Berlin Wall, Bursting its stomach but hopscotch, Spilling the white stuff out, Of poverty and mental dilemma, Amid hopelessness in future and history, As terrorism mires tomorrow, When China reigns today, At mercy of contemporary panjandrums, Moving from white to black And from black to face book, Killing those who fall in commercial love, As if money is the ***** for nuptial night, But only to go forth ignobled, Without making momentous affinity, In the realm of ill fated cockroach back-dom, Sending Mafousian Egypt to Swedish table, Without scorn and regard for true African blood, Where will I apologize? If the ****** bug Enters my head and heart, To blind my logical eyes, Only to open wide The senses that see and feel Religion and race; O! Al Qaeda!
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50
As a ginger, I'm inclined to say fox. I've always had an affinity for those cunning, red canines. But if it's just for a day then perhaps something a bit more adventurous. I suppose I would choose to be a cheetah. Fastest land animal in the world, agile, and speckled. Nobody messes with a cheetah. Not because they’re so hulking or intimidating— just more fascinating than terrifying. We travelled to South Africa once, my family and I. As a tribe we chased wild creatures down with cameras in jeeps in a raucous yet hushed thrill.   The cheetah was one of the few animals that eluded us. Perhaps having never seen one up close is partially what draws me to them.   Mysterious, as well as evasive, with an "I don't give a **** attitude. They only eat every so often because catching food is such a feat. When they do hunt however, it's one of the most spectacular things in the natural world. It's why places that sell tv's show footage of cheetahs running in slow motion over and over on a dizzying loop; demonstrating how clear the pixels are in the plasmas. It's mesmerizing. Their feet move too fast and fly over the dirt, honed in on whatever poor gazelle or kudu they're after. If you're a cheetah that is your body, your thin bones, your rapid heart and beating paws that make you move in such a blur. To be a cheetah for a day is feeling and knowing the difference between machine and muscle. Humans have found ways to fly, and people regularly move faster than a top speed of 75mph. But how sublime it would be! To be solely and purely responsible for that unparalleled speed just for one day.
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Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 6:18 PM UTC
To Be an Animal for a Day
As a ginger, I'm inclined to say fox. I've always had an affinity for those cunning, red canines. But if it's just for a day then perhaps something a bit more adventurous. I suppose I would choose to be a cheetah. Fastest land animal in the world, agile, and speckled. Nobody messes with a cheetah. Not because they’re so hulking or intimidating— just more fascinating than terrifying. We travelled to South Africa once, my family and I. As a tribe we chased wild creatures down with cameras in jeeps in a raucous yet hushed thrill.   The cheetah was one of the few animals that eluded us. Perhaps having never seen one up close is partially what draws me to them.   Mysterious, as well as evasive, with an "I don't give a **** attitude. They only eat every so often because catching food is such a feat. When they do hunt however, it's one of the most spectacular things in the natural world. It's why places that sell tv's show footage of cheetahs running in slow motion over and over on a dizzying loop; demonstrating how clear the pixels are in the plasmas. It's mesmerizing. Their feet move too fast and fly over the dirt, honed in on whatever poor gazelle or kudu they're after. If you're a cheetah that is your body, your thin bones, your rapid heart and beating paws that make you move in such a blur. To be a cheetah for a day is feeling and knowing the difference between machine and muscle. Humans have found ways to fly, and people regularly move faster than a top speed of 75mph. But how sublime it would be! To be solely and purely responsible for that unparalleled speed just for one day.
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13
Somewhere along the line it feels like I lost my poetry. But I've always had a deep affinity of childhood curious-gaze with the light of a passing car slicing through a slumped drapery in the dead of a powerless October night like a fumbling mouse with night-vision, glassy eyed, walk, walk, walk run, run, run scurry-rubber like an imperial humvee of red-carpet glamor. Somewhere along the line the freeze of a less-than-bourgeoise temperature never felt close to Antarctic until the ring of a cell-phone became my national anthem and the complacent all-eternity-and-everything-we-are-and-more reflective one-eye of a laptop became my national flag I waived it with surrender calling to all nation states that 'I don't give a sweet **** entertain me.' watching politics like sports and sports like politics I couldn't help but hear the old Native inside of me scream in suffocated final breaths so I turned up the volume to drown him out and when I wished to return to his comforting embrace, I found he had drown to death so all I could do was stand over his wading body in the river of my mind and lax my shoulders in defeat. I rang the midnight church bell of 'send new message' to tell the world that didn't care the shaman is dead. all they said was 'finally, the shaman is dead.' I nodded, laughed, locked the bathroom door and cried until the river ran dry the shamans body so far down creek I could pretend to forget he had ever existed the ache inside became a masked anonymity with the glare of Dorian Gray I shrugged and said, 'I could never make time anyways' and fell right back into my sleepy routine with another cup of coffee.
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Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 10:06 PM UTC
send new message
Somewhere along the line it feels like I lost my poetry. But I've always had a deep affinity of childhood curious-gaze with the light of a passing car slicing through a slumped drapery in the dead of a powerless October night like a fumbling mouse with night-vision, glassy eyed, walk, walk, walk run, run, run scurry-rubber like an imperial humvee of red-carpet glamor. Somewhere along the line the freeze of a less-than-bourgeoise temperature never felt close to Antarctic until the ring of a cell-phone became my national anthem and the complacent all-eternity-and-everything-we-are-and-more reflective one-eye of a laptop became my national flag I waived it with surrender calling to all nation states that 'I don't give a sweet **** entertain me.' watching politics like sports and sports like politics I couldn't help but hear the old Native inside of me scream in suffocated final breaths so I turned up the volume to drown him out and when I wished to return to his comforting embrace, I found he had drown to death so all I could do was stand over his wading body in the river of my mind and lax my shoulders in defeat. I rang the midnight church bell of 'send new message' to tell the world that didn't care the shaman is dead. all they said was 'finally, the shaman is dead.' I nodded, laughed, locked the bathroom door and cried until the river ran dry the shamans body so far down creek I could pretend to forget he had ever existed the ache inside became a masked anonymity with the glare of Dorian Gray I shrugged and said, 'I could never make time anyways' and fell right back into my sleepy routine with another cup of coffee.
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25
"What is your talent? Can you show me?" He asked me, obliviously. "My affinity isn't something that can be seen." I replied. "It isn't a fancy circus trick, like juggling, nor is it the astonishing spectacle of a painting. It isn't the beauty of a voice, or the magnificent sound of music to the ears. My ability is from the inside, from the way one simple sentence could turn your whole life around. It's the way words could understand you like nobody ever can, the way quotes or phrases fill the emptyness of your heart, and the way it awakens a sensation you may have never been able to feel before. So, no, I cannot show you what my talent is, as it is the way I can transfer a set of emotions to you with just the enunciation of a word." And with that, I, yet again, rendered another soul speechless.
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Mar 27, 2016
Mar 27, 2016 at 9:28 AM UTC
My talent can not be shown
there is little substance in affinity marked by proximity. it is no true measure of commitment or loyalty but merely a constant exchange of fabricated facades. such is the folly of friendship. whether nature ever actually achieved compassion, it has surely since been corrupted. emotionally encapsulated, acting as if not to affect those in the evading environment. selfish must have proven more efficient than selfless. the superiority of self priority and depraved self devotion. still it doesn't seem sufficient, at least not to me.
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Apr 12, 2010
Apr 12, 2010 at 5:35 AM UTC
Trump it
twinkle birds and tessellates, bends my mind to outer space. lands me in infinity of never ending affinity to the universe. but sweetest ideas were shortly lived at reality slowly sifts away to repeated visions that turn loved faces into panic that glitches me into unbreakable circles of walk away, walk away. no awareness of a before from this feel the abyss of this helplessness **** me into no ending so I seice to begin. but as the panic subsides my mind starts to ride the energy that resides in my being from the kingfisher floor to the fish strewn ceiling. sentient beings **** at the seams, my dream of weightlessness pull the windows to break towards the secrets of simple existence. invisible water sends the strands of fur swelling and glowing into talk of the polar bear whose hair weaves into the atoms that feed my jumbled dreams. hands rip through the plaster as the sounds grow louder and faster, helicopters shake the boiler from the pipes but I still feel great. the tables tremble as I soak up the bass and the treble. sensual overload through my eyes the magic multiplies, angels can hear my sighs as the roof opens to tunnel towards the skies. geometric patterns that I could never have imagines circle and sweep, creeping my further from sleep. I have breached something new, an extreme that dares its self to be seen only my the few who ****** it. I grab these new senses and attach it to my masses of emotions, that have been formed my these chemicals. neutrons and protons that explore the breadth oh Pantones schemes, weaving into the atoms that feed my jumbles dreams. release my mind from the confines of rinse and repeat, out of easy street and onto the sunrise that surrounds me. revelations that never siese to confound me. destruction was peace pulling my beliefs, daring the world to touch me as the floor tips the cabinets from the walls. I am small. here in this perfect world. my hands make the plants grow as they show me all it takes to break the confines of the human condition is to expand your mind and reposition your nervous system to reach a different supposition. little lion please read my other work if you like this one! http://trivialitesofabusymind.blogspot.co.uk/
0
May 18, 2013
May 18, 2013 at 5:02 PM UTC
left handed polarbear and the celing-fish
twinkle birds and tessellates, bends my mind to outer space. lands me in infinity of never ending affinity to the universe. but sweetest ideas were shortly lived at reality slowly sifts away to repeated visions that turn loved faces into panic that glitches me into unbreakable circles of walk away, walk away. no awareness of a before from this feel the abyss of this helplessness **** me into no ending so I seice to begin. but as the panic subsides my mind starts to ride the energy that resides in my being from the kingfisher floor to the fish strewn ceiling. sentient beings **** at the seams, my dream of weightlessness pull the windows to break towards the secrets of simple existence. invisible water sends the strands of fur swelling and glowing into talk of the polar bear whose hair weaves into the atoms that feed my jumbled dreams. hands rip through the plaster as the sounds grow louder and faster, helicopters shake the boiler from the pipes but I still feel great. the tables tremble as I soak up the bass and the treble. sensual overload through my eyes the magic multiplies, angels can hear my sighs as the roof opens to tunnel towards the skies. geometric patterns that I could never have imagines circle and sweep, creeping my further from sleep. I have breached something new, an extreme that dares its self to be seen only my the few who ****** it. I grab these new senses and attach it to my masses of emotions, that have been formed my these chemicals. neutrons and protons that explore the breadth oh Pantones schemes, weaving into the atoms that feed my jumbles dreams. release my mind from the confines of rinse and repeat, out of easy street and onto the sunrise that surrounds me. revelations that never siese to confound me. destruction was peace pulling my beliefs, daring the world to touch me as the floor tips the cabinets from the walls. I am small. here in this perfect world. my hands make the plants grow as they show me all it takes to break the confines of the human condition is to expand your mind and reposition your nervous system to reach a different supposition. little lion please read my other work if you like this one! http://trivialitesofabusymind.blogspot.co.uk/
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15
Exposed and bare Standing there Following your demands Your treasured possession Object of obsession Waiting for your commands A slave for my master A beautiful disaster Submissive, wanting to obey Torment and tease or Worship and please I'm yours in every way You start off slow, From my head to my toes Covering my body with kisses Working wonders with your mouth Lingering as your lips go south "Mmmmmm you taste delicious" My hands are bound behind my back You give my *** a nice hard smack Whispering in my ear "you're mine" You place a blindfold over my eyes Your fingers slip between my thighs Oh god sir, I'm on cloud nine! Your cat of nine tails across my **** "On your knees you ***** **** My eyes light up when he greets me He's like a rock, Your big, beautiful **** I take him in my mouth completely My tongue dances wildly To put it mildly He is glistening from my spit Enclosed in my lips, Your hands on my hips You signal for me to quit He's throbbing, she's aching You make me start begging "Please sir, I need him now!" "Bend over and take him ***** As you ****** I start to twitch Oh. My. God. Sir. Wow! "Please don't stop sir! Harder! Faster" "Wait for it ***** *** with your master" Exploding like dynamite, we succumb To feelings of ****** Our mutual fantasy, Into pure oblivion
0
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 11, 2017 at 4:41 PM UTC
Fervent Affinity
I know I aint much for looks And you might not disagree when I say Statues have more substance than this I know I can’t Stendhal you to a standstill It doesn’t mean that I can’t make you breathless Like when I make you laugh There is so much beauty in your laughter That while you are wiping tears out of your eyes Doubled over like you were trying to find your breath on the floor I forget that I don’t like the way I look when I smile And I smile I know the math of aesthetics is lost on me But you can save your symmetry For building blocks and butterflies Bad habits Scars And an awkward affinity for lopsidedness Made me Come Balance me out Because so often I feel like a fat kid Sitting on a seesaw Alone Or a ****** Trying on different sizes of life In carnival mirrors Or a Greek artist Who has chiseled all the wrong parts To perfection Before he understood realism Realism Is a twin sized bed at 3 am After the cold seeps through the window pane It is cobwebs stained black from a house fire Before I never realized we had that many It is a vanity Reminding me how not to be vain Unless you mean this poem This poem is vain Realism Is this It is me And it is you Perfectly human And nowhere near beautiful Unless beauty is symmetry And symmetry is when you balance me out By being the other fat kid on the seesaw Or the person who makes normal mirrors So I can see what I look like in my own skin Not perfect But that doesn’t mean I don’t have ways Of making you breathless Come Let me make you laugh again Let me make you breathless
0
Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011 at 6:18 AM UTC
Let me Make You Breathless
I know I aint much for looks And you might not disagree when I say Statues have more substance than this I know I can’t Stendhal you to a standstill It doesn’t mean that I can’t make you breathless Like when I make you laugh There is so much beauty in your laughter That while you are wiping tears out of your eyes Doubled over like you were trying to find your breath on the floor I forget that I don’t like the way I look when I smile And I smile I know the math of aesthetics is lost on me But you can save your symmetry For building blocks and butterflies Bad habits Scars And an awkward affinity for lopsidedness Made me Come Balance me out Because so often I feel like a fat kid Sitting on a seesaw Alone Or a ****** Trying on different sizes of life In carnival mirrors Or a Greek artist Who has chiseled all the wrong parts To perfection Before he understood realism Realism Is a twin sized bed at 3 am After the cold seeps through the window pane It is cobwebs stained black from a house fire Before I never realized we had that many It is a vanity Reminding me how not to be vain Unless you mean this poem This poem is vain Realism Is this It is me And it is you Perfectly human And nowhere near beautiful Unless beauty is symmetry And symmetry is when you balance me out By being the other fat kid on the seesaw Or the person who makes normal mirrors So I can see what I look like in my own skin Not perfect But that doesn’t mean I don’t have ways Of making you breathless Come Let me make you laugh again Let me make you breathless
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57
A man may usually be known by the books he reads as well as by the company he keeps; for there is a companionship of books as well as of men; and one should always live in the best company, whether it be of books or of men. A good book may be among the best of friends. It is the same today that it always was, and it will never change. It is the most patient and cheerful of companions. It does not turn its back upon us in times of adversity or distress. It always receives us with the same kindness; amusing and instructing us in youth, and comforting and consoling us in age. Men often discover their affinity to each other by the mutual love they have for a book just as two persons sometimes discover a friend by the admiration which both entertain for a third. There is an old proverb, ‘Love me, love my dog.” But there is more wisdom in this:” Love me, love my book.” The book is a truer and higher bond of union. Men can think, feel, and sympathize with each other through their favorite author. They live in him together, and he in them. A good book is often the best urn of a life enshrining the best that life could think out; for the world of a man’s life is, for the most part, but the world of his thoughts. Thus the best books are treasuries of good words, the golden thoughts, which, remembered and cherished, become our constant companions and comforters. Books possess an essence of immortality. They are by far the most lasting products of human effort. Temples and statues decay, but books survive. Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their author’s minds, ages ago. What was then said and thought still speaks to us as vividly as ever from the printed page. The only effect of time have been to sift out the bad products; for nothing in literature can long survive e but what is really good. Books introduce us into the best society; they bring us into the presence of the greatest minds that have ever lived. We hear what they said and did; we see the as if they were really alive; we sympathize with them, enjoy with them, grieve with them; their experience becomes ours, and we feel as if we were in a measure actors with them in the scenes which they describe. The great and good do not die, even in this world. Embalmed in books, their spirits walk abroad. The book is a living voice. It is an intellect to which on still listens.
0
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013 at 2:20 AM UTC
Companionship of Books
A man may usually be known by the books he reads as well as by the company he keeps; for there is a companionship of books as well as of men; and one should always live in the best company, whether it be of books or of men. A good book may be among the best of friends. It is the same today that it always was, and it will never change. It is the most patient and cheerful of companions. It does not turn its back upon us in times of adversity or distress. It always receives us with the same kindness; amusing and instructing us in youth, and comforting and consoling us in age. Men often discover their affinity to each other by the mutual love they have for a book just as two persons sometimes discover a friend by the admiration which both entertain for a third. There is an old proverb, ‘Love me, love my dog.” But there is more wisdom in this:” Love me, love my book.” The book is a truer and higher bond of union. Men can think, feel, and sympathize with each other through their favorite author. They live in him together, and he in them. A good book is often the best urn of a life enshrining the best that life could think out; for the world of a man’s life is, for the most part, but the world of his thoughts. Thus the best books are treasuries of good words, the golden thoughts, which, remembered and cherished, become our constant companions and comforters. Books possess an essence of immortality. They are by far the most lasting products of human effort. Temples and statues decay, but books survive. Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their author’s minds, ages ago. What was then said and thought still speaks to us as vividly as ever from the printed page. The only effect of time have been to sift out the bad products; for nothing in literature can long survive e but what is really good. Books introduce us into the best society; they bring us into the presence of the greatest minds that have ever lived. We hear what they said and did; we see the as if they were really alive; we sympathize with them, enjoy with them, grieve with them; their experience becomes ours, and we feel as if we were in a measure actors with them in the scenes which they describe. The great and good do not die, even in this world. Embalmed in books, their spirits walk abroad. The book is a living voice. It is an intellect to which on still listens.
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7
It's a confusing puzzle, But still holds true: You can't live with me; I can't live without you. Life is but a journey, I chose to go through with you; But now that you won't have me, It's hard for me to continue. Fate is a bitter cruel harpy, With her sisters she conspires For the death of my Love, As your Love for me transpires! Hope is a painful therapy, It burns while nursing Time's stabs; But the scars strengthen Experience, As it assists to keep Reason's tabs. Love and Reason are antithesis, That can't co-exist; But their affinity is such That to be together they persist. Perfection in Love is when There is room for Reason; But when Reason and Logic court, Love calls it Treason! Love is unfair and immature, And still as pure as a dove; But there's no use of Reason, With the death of Love. This poem is an analogy: Which in life stands true; It's no use of me loving you, If there's no hope for you to love me too.
0
Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 1:00 AM UTC
Without You
The mask of vengeance is not to be confused with the seepage of hurt and confusion. Something to blame, to get in the way of a blazing fire providing. Kindle it with substance and truth, but instead with damp lies and gritty sand. An effort of competence in place of the evading truth that sometimes the idea of affinity diminishes in the hole of bewitching fruits. A spell to take hold of the clean, turning ***** in morality. Excuses to remain pure at heart, blame to never feel the pain of rejection. Darkness. Pain. Loneliness. Desperation. Anointing the headless children without a thought of the purpose. Watering a rootless tree, attempting to make it grow.
0
Mar 20, 2012
Mar 20, 2012 at 7:39 AM UTC
Vengeance