"ached" poems
Sun ached to rise,
above the jagged horizon.
It lit the shadow,
of stone work,
of your craftsmanship.
It stood high,
strong and everlasting.
A stone giant,
held together with assumption.
Assumption of him,
the prince that you seek.
Recently one has followed,
to the top where you lie.
He said the verse,
a promise, an assumption.
He would mend the holes,
patch the sides.
As time rhythmically passes,
the tower would stand,
strong and eager.
Until your assumption,
is not yet reality.
The one that followed,
sometime ago,
has left with the moon.
As your eye tears,
the tower leans,
crumbles.
The salty liquid,
corrodes your assumption,
that is often set in stone.
I watch from afar,
knowing the outcome.
I tread among the emotion,
overflowing and scattered around.
As your kin, your brother,
I help to pick up the pieces.
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 11:30 AM UTC
I hardly remember
a ******* thing
about that day
before gazing into his eyes
once again, for the first time
rushing toward the exit
running from the baggage claim;
it was all a blur,
as walked through those doors
all I remember was the vastness
of the first sight,
stepping into the bright, unfamiliar place
& nothing else, but him
I scanned the crowd
the strange faces waiting
for loved ones
emotion thick enough to touch
in the air,
but just to my right
in the front
with his body pressed up against the metal bar,
I saw him
it was the first time I saw his face
not through a photo or webcam
in a time that was so long it ached
I think I lost my breath
did I leave my things behind when I ran?
I don't remember,
I just ran to him
it was too surreal
I can't remember a moment between
seeing his face, & kissing his lips
nor what kind of kiss it was
or how long it lasted
I just couldn't fathom it
I was really there
it was really him
& it didn't matter where we were
it was all a wonderland
to me, I was holding his hand again
everything was bright & new
it was magic, pure magic
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 4:35 AM UTC
I was a caterpillar ,
before I became a butterfly .
The pain I had to endure in order to transform into the beauty I am today .
This is my tale .
In the forest there was,
My cocoon wrapped in the finest silk,
With a power to live in a colorful world.
To dream and conquer goals.
A Vivacious soul spinning in the purest silk
Growing and maturing as I spun.
Wishing for freedom with my beautiful wings,
Counting the days to be free and soar
as a lively butterfly
until
You winded into my community
Lured my queen and her uneven monarch.
Tempted to sabotage my purity.
For that you,
Lured yourself into my vulernable cocoon
with that trust,
you decided to disrupt my process.
How can one man ruin my nesting site?
And I had faith in you ,
to be a figure
I never had.
I wanted.
My heart ached for it.
I needed it.
To be loved .
To be nurtured.
To never be like those stray dogs
looking for a home.
This was the moment .
Where....
Innocence stripped, heart captured.
My Freedom gone.
You were naive to comprehend
On what you were doing...
You would stab my cocoon
with your sickening poison .
Over and over you stabbed .
Ruptured the veins of my innocence .
To break my finest silk .
Purity banished.
Stabbing your poison was
Making my cocoon
useless ,
worthless ,
unwanted,
colorless,
I tried to run and I tried to scream
but I was devoured by this poison
It was the love I deserve.
Couldn't escape , numb to the pain
For every poison injected, I began to
Question God?
Where was he ?
when I shed out a tear of help.
Where was he?
when my cocoon was destroyed.
Was I loved God?
when I muffled help in your name.
I hated myself ,
I stay in my cocoon
afraid to see my future.
I wasn't going to be a beautiful butterfly
Battered Butterfly
My life seemed to be colorless
No one wants a battered butterfly
My life....
It seemed it had ended
when poison sunk onto my helpless body .
No one wants a battered butterfly
Imprisoned to these chains.
Being poisoned every night by different
Predators.
Oh God....
Those predators ...
Battered lifeless little butterfly
Was I ever loved in my nesting site?
But then again nobody loves a battered butterfly
How can I reach to heaven when
I was worthless.
Believed I was a vile *****
Tricked into a poison of hell.
Battered Ugly Butterfly
***** Little butterfly*.
There was no light in tunnel
There was no holes in my silk
To escape this poisonous nest.
Why?
Because I believe nobody wants save a battered butterfly
How can the man I trusted ruined me.
I thought you could be the one to complete my lovely monarch .
To complete the missing piece.
But you continued to misuse me.
To haunt me.
To barricade my heart
To own my soul
But one thing I can truly say
You never once won over me.
You never imprinted my change.
I endured your pain
That was a sign of God
To show me what strength I am capable of.
That was the light that I found,
You had no control to inflict pain anymore.
Because I became impervious to your pain.
I am a beautiful butterfly
reigning over my monarch
with no thought of you.
That is my freedom
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 2:25 AM UTC
These hands that have held you as a wild child in a dream are the same hands that throb to choke you and muffle your screams.
These hands which guided and guarded you down those stretches of hospital halls are now the hands that push you down to fall.
These hands once caressed the jagged, pink, scar where your heart used to lay become the hands that wish to tear it away.
These hand that made sure you fell asleep through all that pain now are the hands that would cut themselves to beat out your brain.
These hands that used to pray for you like a ***** ready to be ****** are clinched in two fist now ready to make the first throw.
These hands that ached for you, fed you, and tried so ******* hard are just the hands of memories now deep tissue scars.
... These hands.. Would have killed anyone, in dirt and cold blood.. Are now the only hands holding back the rage of my flood.
.. These hands, they still work for you. Even if you're no longer here with me..... These hands, they're still here, waiting... One day.. You'll see.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 9:10 PM UTC
My heart is full
So much resides there
Memories wish to stop it from beating
Scraps & unforgiveness have tried to choke it out
My heart once ached from betrayal
To stone i thought it would turn
But through all of that
I cant seem to get rid of LOVE
LOVE still lives there
Reassuring me in life I can go on!!!!
As for me & my heart we're gonna be just fine!
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 1:16 PM UTC
We were teammates
We suited up
We showed up
We weren't stars
But we rolled in the dirt
With the best of them
Our blood ran red
Like the rest of them
Our sweat tasted salty
As the most athletic of them
Wounds and bruises
Ached like the most
Stalwart of them
We were Bulldogs!
We anted up our
Gifts and talents to
Forge a winning season
A flair for humor
Wry observation,
Encouragement, fortitude
And intelligence were as
Valuable as speed,
Agility and strength
We all pined for the
Affection of cheerleaders,
Bandmembers and the
Adoration of fans
We equally joined
In the chorus of
locker room banter
And honored the
Confidence of camaraderie
Such intimacy bares
We endured thankless
Adversity, while wending
through anonymous toil
As brothers
We grudgingly drank
From the vile cup of defeat
And passed the chalice
Of victory among us
To share the savory
Taste of triumph
As champions
The Duke of Wellington
Said “the battle of Waterloo
Was won on the fields of Eton”
I trust my teammates and
Not forgotten friends
Tasted sweet victories of
Happiness and success
As they coursed through
Their prodigious fields of life
And at games end
I hope their heart swelled
With pride to know they were
A beloved and Valiant Bulldog
David Irving Korsh #75
BCSL Champion 1973
Rutherford Bulldogs
Well done Valiant Bulldog
God bless and Godspeed
Music Selection:
Bruce Springsteen
Thunder Road
5/5/18
Puyallup
jbm
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 2:58 PM UTC
I have been away for too long
In a solitude, burried with remorse
For I've lost a very close loved one
And the situation got worse
I prayed to be taken away
For my life to end
As soon as possible
Coz nothing much was left to mend
Tears rolled down my cheeks
To stop the negative thoughts
Got taken back many times
To untie the invisible knots
Voices got into my ears
That ached to explode my temple
Closing my eyes eveytime
A picture painted, to resemble
It's you, O'mum...that I can't get over with
Life seems, more like a lego
Feelings that can't be put into words
Every bit pierces through the core
Your smile, your beauty, your essence
Has all been captured by this heart
Now, in troubled weak times
Another scene peeps as an art
How will I ever, comfort myself
That now I am all alone
None that are left by my side
All have fallen and gone
May your soul rest in peace
Exactly, a month today
Missing you heaps in this crowded shell
Hope to meet you, someday...
©sim
May 8, 2018
May 8, 2018 at 8:07 AM UTC
We were boys, once.
Our mother liked to dress us in tailored suits and leather shoes.
Every Sunday morning. Ready bright and early for mass at 11.
We'd sit in the classroom at the back of the old church hall.
After mass. After the chatter of voices hushed down to whispers; virtuous gossip.
Our teacher fed us images of hellfire and brimstone.
*** and sin.
Satan in a red cape and Halloween horns.
He didn't always look like that.
Oh, no. Mother said that he'd come out all dressed in a suit like mine.
He'd be handsome! His voice would be a choir of one billion ****** souls and once you'd hear it, you'd never want it to stop.
In my eight-year-old mind, I wondered what he did and what he felt when his own father cursed his name.
Did he stare at his dad with his thousand-eyes? Did he protest?
Did he laugh as he fell? In a cascade of feathers and blood.
Maybe he was better off without him.
He'd spend the rest of eternity trying to prove his father wrong. That he was worthy of his love:
That he would be the only son to grieve for the mistake of humanity.
The holy adversary.
The one who would shout his love for The Lord until his throat cracked dry and his chest ached. He, who could see the suffering of his father's own creations.
He, who tempted Eve and proved God wrong and we were flawed from the very beginning. Did he watch Eve eat the apple and savor every bite?
He loved his father.
Did he deserve it?
I stopped going to church on my eighteenth birthday.
What kind of parent would **** one son and praise the other?
Who would let one son be nailed to a board and the other to rot in flames?
Even as a child, I knew.
Through every slap, scold and bruise.
I would never bow.
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 9:32 AM UTC
I remember that placid night...
Sitting in my room alone.
Something inside me was filled with fright,
Knowing that there was no one to phone.
And I suddenly hungered, ached, desired—
That animalistic feeling,
That urge left unhindered—
That lustful tingling.
A lust I lusted after,
But to no avail.
My lonely heart started beating faster,
But all I could do was wait and wail.
I felt choked up,
Stifled beyond belief.
I felt like I had dealt with enough,
And I needed to help my soul breathe.
A lust I had lusted after,
Longing for that forgotten feeling.
But my hopes were useless chatter,
No one could hear my silent pleading.
I felt so very hopeful—
Hopeful and excited.
But I was left feeling wistful,
With my lust uninvited.
Jun 1, 2019
Jun 1, 2019 at 11:39 PM UTC
When I look into the mirror
And stare at my own reflection
I see a stranger sneering at me
I see the patch of dark around my eyes
I see my hair going grey
I see the blotchy skin and wrinkles on my face
It all makes me think
How rapid is the flight of youth
Once I was a bubbly girl
Full of charm with dreamy eyes
The golden vistas cheered my heart
In my dreams I scaled to touch the skies
Love vibrated every nerve
But now a sad change has come over
It all makes me think
How rapid is the flight of time
Once I thought how bright and sweet was life
Agile were my movements, could walk miles
Fatigue I never knew, supple limbs never ached
Life was a roller coaster ride
Today when I look at the young
With wind in their skirts and sunbeams in their eyes
I see the stark change that years have brought
And wonder how rapid the onset of old age is
Though my beauty has burnt away
And my bones have a brittle grate
Still I would like to hold on stubbornly
Looking at each day for what next day brings
As I still have a hopeful heart
And wish to embrace life as it comes
To make it a sweet labor of love
So I ‘rage, rage against the dying of light’!
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 10:23 PM UTC
The boy sat beneath the grey gum,
listening to the magpie crooning,
somewhere far above his head.
He watched as the figure approached,
an old man stumbling down a dirt track.
"Yer back than." said the boy, standing.
"Yeah." Replied the man, "I'm back."
The boy sat down again "Yer staying?"
"I should never have left you,
I realise that now." The man replied.
"Was it fun where you went?" asked the boy,
"No, it was miserable." said the man,
"It could never be fun without you.
Have you been to the tree house lately?"
"Not since you left," said the boy.
"I've just been sitting here waiting,
for you to take me to the carnival,
where we could eat candy floss
and hot dogs to our bellies ached."
"I should have taken you with me,
I've missed the carnivals and candy floss."
The man said his eyes filling with tears.
"Is the tyre still hanging over the water hole?"
"Of cause it is," said the boy, "you want to go there?"
"Oh yes!" Cried the man "I want to go there.
More than anything I want to go there!"
The boy stood up and took his hand,
and together they walked across the pond.
03/03/2010
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 1:49 AM UTC
I remember towards the end of my parents marriage
Their arguing was inescapable
I tried to drown it out, but the screaming was too loud
And the temptation of eavesdropping was too much
I should have turned my music up
I wish the things I heard could become unheard
My heart ached for both of them
Because I'm sure they were just trying to figure out what went wrong and when
And I'm not really sure how people go from lovers to strangers
Because at one point they meant the world to each other
But suddenly it seemed they were living in two different worlds
And I wonder if they were ever happy together
Or if they were just putting on a show
I want to believe they were once were in love, most of me believes it
I guess I'd like to think my existence is from a place of love and not bitter resentment
I swear there was a time when they looked at each other like they shared some secret
And smiled at each other with knowing smiles
Now when they see one another their eyes are just filled with contempt
And there's no trace of a smile on their strained lips
Which leaves me to question
How does someone you know become someone you knew?
How does someone who was your present, your future, so quickly become your past?
How does someone who was your world become a memory fading out of existence?
How does someone you love become someone you loved?
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 4:09 PM UTC
Her eyes were filled with love
But she wasn't looking at me
Even though it physically hurt
She was happy
Every time she looked at him
My throat burned and ached
I watched her as i was violently coughing up the beautiful red pedals
Knowing i was going to die
Because i knew she would never look at me
The way she looked at him
And for some reason not loving her
Hurt more then the pedals themselves
Her beauty couldn’t compare to the throned flowers
Rapidly blooming in my throat
I would happily die knowing
That i died loving her
I was going to hold on
Despite the feeling of being set on fire
And knowing exactly how this was going to turn out
But i wanted to die with the little dignity i had left
My vision got blurry
blood dripped from my lip
My throat began to close
And With one last breath
The flowers consumed my smiling dead body
That beautiful hanahaki
May 23, 2021
May 23, 2021 at 10:59 PM UTC
She sunk slowly southward, skimming my soul with sweet sighs,
Acutely aware of my amorous... appeal, I ached for her acquiescence,
Daring- Her; I- dazed: Delicately devouring my disheveled desire,
Leisurely lingering, her lips leaving lipstick licks and languor,
Yet it ended, and I yearned for you.
Aug 18, 2020
Aug 18, 2020 at 5:56 PM UTC
I have a heart
made to adore
juvenile fantasies,
despite modern tragedies.
In moments of madness
when modern photography
presents to me
the horrors of humanity
I can engage for a minute
and escape the insanity
in the comics
that carry super hero forms.
When I see bombs
that blister skin
till flesh bursts
revealing red disfigurement
I can travel in
my own mental
compartment
to escape this.
I can revisit
Winnie the pooh
or review the crew
of “Star Trek
The Next Generation.”
When mind numbing poverty
rears its sad faces at me,
with stranger’s eyes
and thin lips quivering
in lonely desperation,
despite my empathy
I have a gift for escaping
the irrationality
of human suffering.
I just sip the soft brew
of nostalgia for old cartoons
recalling a slightly saner time,
when all the sorrows
were only mine,
when I ached
with a mother’s fury
but tv shows saw me distracted
the fact is
I have been escaping
my whole life,
and I don’t see
that changing.
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 10:30 AM UTC
capricorn: how often do you love for a second and then forget, how many times have you loved so deeply you've thought it might be to the grave
aquarius: can you listen to their favorite genre of music without breaking down yet
pisces: how many times have your fingers ached and you've felt like it was because of the months you've gone without holding his hand
aries: how many lovers bedrooms have you occupied, how many times have you wanted three words to occupy your bones and make you feel warm
taurus: have you learned not to fall in love yet
gemini: how often do you try to pretend she never happened
cancer: how many times have you sat outside with a bottle of liquor typing in her phone number that you deleted before you started drinking
leo: have you forgotten the way he smiles yet or is that saved in your phone still along with all the text messages you two have ever sent
virgo: how many times have you sat in someone else's car and reached for her hand before realizing she's not driving
libra: have you been able to say out loud that she doesn't love you anymore and not end it with a choking sob
scorpio: how many times have you woken up at 3am and felt around your bed praying to a god you don't believe in that she would be there
sagittarius: do you still hear him in the middle of the night when everything is quiet and you're breaking
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 7:58 PM UTC
My heart ached
For a voice I couldn't unhear.
For a touch as familiar as the suns light.
For eyes that could only see my soul.
For promises I could never hold him to.
For answers to questions I couldn't ask.
And for comfort I didn't deserve.
But most of all my heart ached to just not ache
For one day
For one hour
For one minute
Without him.
And the problem was that
While I was always without him
My heart ached
And ached
And ached
And ached
And has never ceased it's aching.
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 10:04 AM UTC
The fish does not understand
Water
But the stray-nine
Understands home
Sometimes it takes an absence
A negativity, a darkness
From the dust dream rises
Like stars from the void
Someone rides an elevator up
Your spine and
Bridge
The direction is born
Soul tendrils extend and
Embrace tender lock of we
Season together
The fat men starve before the
Peasant because they
Have never really
Ached
In their stomachs
In their bones
When you live in famine
Scraps can sustain
And yet
Will you still notice the
Seven shade cycle rainbow-nectaring
From the street lanterns?
Or the
Diamonds
In ivory fro-banks glittering sparks?
When you are full
Will you
Ponder the pulsar’s violence?
Will you
Spare the stranger and Samaritan oft?
When you are full
Don’t lose it
Sadness is
Your prism
Choose the spectrum
Transcend the neut and stag
You can be their Atlas
They
Need
It
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 2:07 PM UTC
I ached for you last night,
and I yearned and I cried and I shaked for you last night.
I wanted nothing but to be near you,
to hear your heartbeat in your chest.
But I did not want to break you down,
or put this love to rest.
I dreamt of you lying beside me last night,
and I kissed you and I held you and I felt you last night.
I traced out the moon beams surrounding your spine,
and kissed every ligament, still hoping you're mine.
But before I could sleep, and before I could slumber,
I readied my mind and I phoned to your number.
I wanted you to come here to me,
and I wanted you to be near.
But with wanting and heartache I hung up that phone,
and I watched the blood moon appear.
(i.r)
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
When my aching heart ached in excess,
I sought out to sleep, dream, escape.
I found myself in the land of the philosophers;
Greece.
But perhaps it looked nothing like Greece,
for I haven’t visited the country to ever know.
But upon its heavenly resemblance,
I was washed ashore.
I remember the sand as soft ivory,
dancing under my feet.
But pay no attention to the sand,
for something else had already caught me.
The sky.
God in disguise, I tell you.
Wrapped in the wildest hue of violet,
with the drape’s silky edges tucked into the horizon.
The color was deep and passionate in every way,
it intoxicated the evening with its romantic cologne.
And upon that sky,
lie God’s silver angels.
The stars constantly winked,
praising the earth,
in repetitive bangles.
But not alone.
The moon was its fullest on that night,
and so it wasted no time,
it beamed in bravado,
the strangest white.
I sat quietly,
listening to Greece sing its gentle yet enigmatic song,
silently wishing that this is no fantasy, and that I am not wrong.
Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 7:59 PM UTC
I fought with the courage You gave me
With the sword of humility on the horse of faith
I fought for who You finally made me be
You filled me with patience and protected me from hate
You gave me all I have and always heard my prayers
Only You know when the right moment comes to make them come true
You bestowed upon me freedom in shining layers
Hope and faith as I served only You
For a long time I don't understand what hit me
It seems I listened to their whispers and thought I could live away
Without the daily connection with You, but not too deep inside I knew they put me astray
Today after all those months of darkness, emptiness and despair
I realize it's time for my clouded heart to be fair
Finding back the faith You sent on me in the pure past
As I pray my daily prayer in gratitude for You
It seems my heart can feel again, I feel alive at last
Tears begin to flow as I understand what's left to do
My face had lost its light and my heart ached because I forgot
That my only true dream and purpose is to serve You, God.
Y.
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 7:22 PM UTC
i have so many thorns in my body, that i forgot all the places i've been bleeding. you bleed me out, you can. and that's okay.
i'm aching. i ached to taste you and i still ache,
but the question is, would you
even wait long enough to let me have the chance?
to be waiting and being disappointed by a bitter fruit
or waiting and never finding out the sting.
i'm not sure what is worse.
is it possible to drown before
you take a dive into the
deep end of the pool?
or is the self pity the pool itself?
does weakness constitute
as a fabrication for other people's flaws or
is it simply a plan that failed to start?
i know my blind sides, but i've had so many
bittersweet "almosts" and close enough "maybes"
that heartbreak has become my favorite flavor.
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 8:42 PM UTC
You stripped my soul,
Ripped me from my shoes
Where I stood
in innocence.
You extracted my childlike traits,
Treated my body
As your ********* paycheck.
My whole future
Was laid out in front me.
Now you fabricated a dent in it,
One that has shattered me
Forever.
I used to smile,
Be full of life,
Slept at night,
My body never reeked the incessant scent
of the lifeless souls you sold me to.
My heart ached everyday,
I longed for home, where safety was waiting for me.
Everyday I was a raindrop,
Trying to cling onto the window of hope,
But always slipped away.
You don’t understand the pain,
You’re only in it for the hunnits
Please understand,
That my dehumanization is not worthy
For what you gain.
My body became an abstract canvas,
For your ugly pleasures.
Bruised, bloodied, beaten, and battered.
Cuts and aches line my delicate skin,
But to you all my pain is fake.
You slapped my delicate face,
every time I asked for my precious prize of my childhood,
every time clear oceans surged out of my eyes.
“Shut the hell up!” You yelled
As I let out wails of agony.
You stepped all over me
Like I was a used cigarette.
You ignored my shrieking screams,
Actually,
You loved it.
You forced me
To comply with their beastly gratifications,
Only in return for your abundant riches.
You stepped on me,
like I was a ***** grimy, muddy puddle,
over and over
Even so,
I was still considered desirable.
I am NOT your canvas.
I am NOT your paycheck.
I am NOT your plaything.
I am worthy of honor,
worthy of respectful awe and delicacy.
I did not feel the worth of a human being anymore.
I felt ill treated, broken, bent, demeaned.
You stripped my soul, and,
Deprived me of my self respect.
And I will never
Ever
Be the same.
The only thought
That seeps into my mind
At sunrise and the brink of midnight,
Is that
I
Was someone’s *****
Listen to the pleas of
Children,
their ribbons shriveling up.
Spouses,
their vows rupturing.
Siblings,
their hearts torn apart.
Parents,
Bawling for their sanities,
Waiting to rejoice
With their miraculous bundles of joy—
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 11:13 AM UTC
She spread her arms and embraced me
that familiar scent made me smile
I noticed the wrinkles on her arms
and my heart ached
she spent half of her life
preparing what's best for me and still..
she is here
comforting me at my worst
My eyes welled up as i held back my tears
thinking of all the things i couldn't do for her
My heart pounding in a rhythm
thinking of all the best things for her
As she got up to bring me my favorite snack
tears finally escaped my eyes
wiping them away quickly
i promised to myself
I'll never leave you maa
Mar 2, 2021
Mar 2, 2021 at 12:47 PM UTC