and what is justice in the face of adversity?
what is confidence in the midst of cowardice?
what is fine and what makes your throat tight?
i do not know, for i am simply a poet
but i wish for someone to guide me
so that nobody hurts me
so that i
no longer cry...
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019 at 9:30 AM UTC
admire the blankness:
now feel the loneliness.
welcome to my heart, dear girl
it is blackness and blankness
please, send someone quick
to fill it
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019 at 9:27 AM UTC
spikes and chains
i enjoy the pain
frilly lace
and satin space
you’ve got quite a pretty face
especially when it twists into a scowl
when you put me in my place
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019 at 9:17 AM UTC
Hopeless
Staring down at you
It never mattered
What does it do?
You never mattered
You don’t have a future
Maybe you should give up now
You should be more like her
Well, it’s too late right now
Buried in roses
I’d vanish happily
For once, I know this
The actions I do are all I am, sadly
I wish to wither
I wish to splinter
I wish to fade with the winter
Please, just look at me kindly
for once.
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019 at 11:27 AM UTC
Nervous
Nervous
Nervous
Nervous
My nerves have failed me yet again.
Twitching
Twitching
Twitching
Twitching
My senses are overwhelmed again.
Shaking
Shaking
Shaking
Shaking
My body can’t handle what it’s taking
Hurting
Hurting
Hurting
Hurting
My diaphragm is twisting and turning.
I’m scared.
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019 at 10:02 AM UTC
so empty
so dark
so scary
death is far
which is good
but now i am left with nothing
and no one
just empty
so empty.
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019 at 10:20 PM UTC
i smile
but the man in the corner
begs to differ
so i cry
and he, in turn
smiles.
the floor is cold
as i sit naked on it
knees to my chest
crying, weeping for days
and the voices get closer
and it comes to a ******
and then i take my medication
and go to work
no more noise
no more men
i brought her home
but forgot my medication
i slipped up again
i answered their question aloud
she ran
i never wanted to scare her
i just wanted to love her
but she ran like all the rest
i stared at the door
and i saw him flash in the corner
i turn
but he is nowhere
so i beg them to come back
but there is silence
and nothing more
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019 at 10:19 PM UTC
when the doctor tested my reflexes
he broke both of my knees
so now i walk at a crawl
and i struggle to start again
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019 at 10:18 PM UTC
do you know the loneliness that resides within?
do you see the sadness tainting my gin?
do you feel the blackness of my sin?
would you let their darkened sorrow win?
of course you wouldn’t; you’re a warrior—
strong and tall in the face of adversity.
everything happens for a reason, you say,
and you believe in god.
all i want right now
is to be like you.
all i want right now
is to think like you.
all i want right now
is to be strong like you.
but, instead, i crumble.
i fall to my knees and mumble.
my thoughts run wild and i tumble
into the bowels of thunder that rumbles.
just when i want to get better
the thoughts come back to get me.
and now i am trapped
and i kiss Misery’s feet.
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 11:07 PM UTC
welcome to ana heaven
where people are collar bones
and thigh gaps are God
we are fragile, like petals
the only simile that saves me
from the harsh reality
i don’t look at you, i look through you
x-ray vision desecrates you
i don’t see you as human
i see bones
you are not thin yet, child
come with me, and it’ll be worth your while
or you collapse into the clouds
and god forbid, you fall back to Earth
stay in play land
where we live off tea and acid reflux
where we spit up food
and giggle like babies
at the sight of our malnourished bodies
give me ana heaven, sick skin
give me laxatives, stick thin
or i have nothing at all.
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 11:03 PM UTC