"aberrant" poems
Features, my reflection—
subtle hints stare back offering wordless reply,
their evidence a betrayal of age.
A wrinkle looking deeper,
mane of face, of head—hairs
fresh lacking pigment.
Vain attempts made to mend heart,
to sooth soul's dread.
Testimony of experience
of wisdom, persistence, perception,
an impotent contraceptive, the argument
aberrant.
Regret to cloud memory, my youth
seeming a flesh and blood cliche.
Tiny footnotes heavy with prose,
words in bold
to distract mind's eye—a demand of attention.
Edging out tomb's more beautiful weight
of love and heartache
of passion's attempt failing,
to try again, sinking before succeeding.
An era's dusk and dawn anew, life's advent
unpredictable—without cause changing.
Notion hanging lingering, poisoning future,
the venom of defeat an insidious invasion.
This new age creeping toward night
in this stage my life's sun less bright.
Maturity's introduced responsibility,
some enjoyable while others to own hostility.
A brigand mugging freedom—time for leisure.
Spurring combat for what remains of youth,
fingers wrapping air in futile seizure.
The inevitable to command subservience,
presuming ownership of life, though the mature
demonstrate the defiance of the immature.
Objects, activities, music assaulting ear,
their manner,
symbols of strict adherence to who once was—
a spiteful surrender refusal.
A piece of me defining me until no more,
years holding power—threatening
to change who I am at very core.
Canvas construction the colour of murre,
rubber toe caps the shade of pure.
Design worn since youth, dead and resurrected;
a million mile shoe of valorous resistance—insurrection,
a Converse rebellion.
In torment of age's scars,
I'll never be too old to wear my All Stars.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 10:18 PM UTC
The empty air has a bitter tone
When it bites at my fingers
And yells profanities in an unrecognizable tongue.
It stings when it sings.
It has an aberrant gait
And a detached mien,
This lack-of being.
The tempest’s strides jounce its overly-wide shoulders;
Its prominent brow sends an antagonistic shadow
Cascading down its lip and jaw.
This active silence whispers age-old secrets
Its fingers tousling the amber leaves
Of my autumn’s long-dead trees.
The sound resonates,
And this taunting, all-knowing,
Omnipresent, nonexistent-but-still-there wind
Smiles at my naïveté.
Weary under the weight of the world
And the smog of self-importance.
Its eyes are clouded with grey rain,
Its teeth sharp with a bitter resentment;
“I’ve disliked you since the 1700s,” it breathes,
Throwing an airy, acrid gaze at humanity.
(“I’m sorry, but it is you who made me this way,
With your scornful industrialization.”)
Its eyes are frigid, piercing,
Wicked, yet reserved.
Cruel in their taunting assumptions,
Yet,
In those forget-me-not eyes
I found the sky.
May 8, 2010
May 8, 2010 at 5:36 PM UTC
pap
pap
pap
I can't breath
my stomach is bubbling
like hot cheese
on an fresh oven pizza
my legs feel skinny
I want to lean into a wall
the floor looks spinny
the wainscoting is squint
my vision is blurry
because...tears?
Why is there worry
in my middle?
I feel fine,
my mind is sound
this fear isn't mine
what’s it doing here?
What is this panic?
Fight or flight I understand,
but this is plain manic.
I need to go
at top speed
or maybe hide?
Either way, be freed
from this distress.
pap
pap
pap
Push someone over,
human shield that ****
reduce my exposure
to hyperventilation.
Shallow in,
shallow out,
I feel akin
to sprinting Mufasa
Pure distress
acute discomfort,
a proper mental problem. Nonetheless,
it’s strange to foresee the diagnosis.
It’s as if I’m watching
from someone else’s skin
as alligator clamps are botching
holding my physiology in.
A sunburn on my innards,
a paperweight within
you’d think I’d feel pride
for finally having something wrong.
Hypochondria being accurate
the years of inventing doom,
suddenly isn't aberrant
those fabrications had substance.
Or maybe all these thinks
are symptoms in themselves
after sifting through piles of shrinks,
maybe I can finally get some help.
pap
pap
pap
Look at my pretty framed prescription,
doctor certified, messy handwriting,
this will take some decryption...
don’t worry, take your time,
this pathoreaction won't go away.
I’m told desolation
is a temperament set to stay
until after eighteen simple payments.
I’m inclined to reject treatment
of drugs that fiddle with the mind
I’d rather stay present,
continue inconsistency.
I would like to try narration,
see how many kilometers I can recall.
I can deal with frustration,
so let’s talk about my childhood.
Public transit without destination
sends me on a revere,
an absence of crippling desperation.
I've found peace before
it was between yellow poles,
in the outside pocket
of a backpack on parole.
It smiled at me quietly.
pap
pap
pap
Apparently, it’s the small things
that help you deal with anxiety.
Jun 23, 2013
Jun 23, 2013 at 6:10 AM UTC
Oh Bard, wielding a tool mighty and spiky
Mightier than either the sword or rod,
You reign as monarch in fancy’s domain
Sketching life in all variety and mode
Which with pain and strife fraught
Or bright with gaiety and grace
In finer yarn than the gossamer thread
On a fabric of words in befitting verse
You steal away from the noisy crowd
Into the stillness of the cloistered cell
To dwell with Fancy’s mystic charms
Weaving downy dreams at will
You recount forgotten tales of yore
Of ****** battles won and lost,
Of lovers united, amour defiled,
Conjuring memories from abysmal past
You hearken to the moans of lovelorn souls
And sing of beauty in ditties fine
Triggering sparks into flames grow
In umpteen hearts that pine and whine
Babbling with the brook rushing swift,
Racing with the deer loping past,
You wander into mysterious woods
Where flowers, their richest odors cast
Your ears intent on the song of birds
That comes floating from the far off groves
And the whir of cicadas on the bark of trees
Breaking the calm of twilight eves
Alone you saunter the stretching strands,
Watching virulent breakers in fury heave
Often your heart dancing with the tide
And swinging with the rhythm of rising wave
You feast on the gleam of the auburn sun
And the speckled blue of the infinite skies
Watching the day dying in flame
And the night in a diadem of stars vies
All that’s lovesome meets your eyes
And commune to you in profuse delight
Which you turn into rhyme and rhythm
For the whole of mankind to devour and digest
From your harp flow symphonies sweet
Songs of longing, love and lust
Of idyllic happiness, peace and bliss,
Fuelling hearts with vigorous zest
Though outlawed by the great sage of Greece,
Branding the poet, aberrant and a fool
Oft beneath the façade of his wayward thoughts,
Lie heaps of wisdom for the discerning soul.
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 23, 2016 at 6:01 AM UTC
Marched in step
Toting a little red wagon
Stride carried pep
Dragging that little red wagon
Weathered in rust
Creaking in the sun
Covered in dust
It weighs a ton
Overburdened by basic trinkets
Remnants of Christmas 05
Macaroni made cumulonimbus
From school days off winchester drive
Photo of family for evidence
Not that it means a thing
Victim of malevolence
Thrown out in early spring
Winter brought about the cough
Toting a little red wagon
His whole system seems off
Dragging that little red wagon
He's feeling old
Went and turned lethargic
Held onto the cold
Wallowing in hardship
Deterioration apparent
There's something horribly wrong
Behavior aberrant
His strength is gone
Innocence in tow
Holding onto reactionary bliss
Writing name in snow
...Blood marked abyss
Death encroaches.
He falls before his little red wagon
A young boy approaches
And steals that little red wagon
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
Lured
by unspeakable, ineluctable gravity
Kisses, vehement, and by no means our first,
speak of experience, a wordless wisdom that now gives flight to innocence,
unprecedented familiarity among two who have spoken so little
a gentle tug of war between souls, transcending feeble sensation, arriving at conversation
Solid, fervid, with perfection of cadence – a meter aberrant, fantastic, unimpeded by numerical confines
Now
a limitless tickling between two souls
like courting doves
And the smoke in your mouth became sweet,
your saliva a quenching potion of forgetfulness,
And at this moment neither past nor future have ever existed,
There is only this delicious wine of our lips and the nonsensical ***********
of two sipping souls.
Nov 28, 2013
Nov 28, 2013 at 1:23 AM UTC
I'm innocent
everything goes opposite
LiFe has no abashment
Problems are objects
Life is aberrant
shoots hard bullets
I'm innocent
Life is full of coincidences
Hope people understand
Life ? People abases
Its a painful wound
No more absolves
I'm innocent
I'm tired of myself
Sick of being the same
I feel like a werewolf
Me , I did defame
Myself is just a calf
I'm innocent
This what life wants
No more tolerate
Live in aborts
Small sins accumulate
Chokes me with ascots
I'm innocent
I don't want this
Live in aversion
It's only my bris
Love must accretion
Or live like the ******* nazis
I'm innocent
I NEED her back
Important in my life circle
keeps me on the track
Every word is a canticle
Wrack hack her lack clack
I'm innocent
She's the one i NEED
My life is She
Sweet, tasty like the aniseed
The most important strophe
Makes it shinny and adorned
I'm innocent
I don't want drugs
I hate to scab
Its not brags
It hurts like a stab
Drugs is crags
Edit by: Melanie on this fourteenth day of September, twenty thirteen
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 7:54 AM UTC
I am sick of poetry—
its useless, meaningless strings
of words
elegantly dressed in profound tailored suits
of gaudy fabric.
Who is this who speaks against the soul—
ignorant and foolish, deriding the gem
of thoughts vibrantly propounded into motley lines of literary art?
Ha! Literary art?
Similes are like a bad joke,
alliterations are agitating,
personification ***** and,
hyperboles are more horrid than death
Poems are not simply stanzas of well-contrived writing
Of fanciful sentences stretching the mind.
Each letter spells purpose,
Then in the right lighting
Reads entirely different
Yet still masterfully designed
It is simplicity secreted beneath heaps of perplexity
and effortless rhyme,
bombastic diction contorting
the most puerile of deliberations into virtuosity—
two-dimensional make-up of verbiage—
flinging arbitrary words and
lines left
and
right
Christmas
The entire concept is ludicrous.
A
rhyme
goes deeper
than its sound,
and
a single word
normally goes deeper
than its context suggests.
A random
notion may not be
as arbitrary an idea as one
primarily
assumes
it to be.
Nothing is simple about it.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Just like I said
It’s easy to do.
******
Hypocrite
Misled
Piece of ****
Ignorant
Foolish fiend
Virulent
Philistine
Infantile
Aberrant
Juvenile
Miscreant!
True poetry at last!
Stripped down to pure emotion
A lovely middle finger manicured just right
The quintessence of feeling etched with furious care
Thought and emotion woven together to make an unlikely masterpiece
And so it is discovered: the marriage of two conflicting entities can and will engender beauty.
Dec 3, 2011
Dec 3, 2011 at 2:40 AM UTC
Deep into a
Dungeon of dreams
I slept,
Every demon resurrected;
The predator and thieves,
The victims whose grief
Suppressed
Fuels the hunt for prey;
She feeds an aberrant need
For ****** flesh,
The chase, the test,
The bait, the birth of decadence;
She is my jury and judge,
The prurient couple who came
To my trials of temptation
And never left;
I tossed and wept,
My cotton sheets of discomfort
Twisting like a noose
Around my neck;
Eyes bugging red
Like every demon
Resurrected,
Seeking my head
On a platter
With a serving of remorse
On the side;
But I am rescued,
Once more,
By Dawn's pearly light
And her wakeful mercy....
~ P
(#MyDemonicPlague)
3/12/14
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 3:36 AM UTC
Have your eyes always had the scattered look
of a woman scanning the room for exits,
with
no time to consider the precious intimacies
of skin
or the softness of faces in repose,
the vulnerable sacraments of open hands...
And have you, too, misread the calming waters
perhaps misjudged their depths?
Have you ever, daydream laden or heavily burdened
startled at finding your self, now,
this moment
gaze cast intently
beyond the bounds
of too frail a body
perhaps through your car window
for the broad pause a stoplight can fill,
perhaps in the rain
contemplating bright reflections
aberrant red
and introspective green
through the timpani
of falling water,
feeling the unfortunate gravity
of some unquantified source
at an undisclosed distance,
reaching without knowing
to release
the restraining belt
while, beneath the various
and distracting chatter,
you strain to hear the systole
at the heart
of the music you know could be found
if only you were free to follow?
Feb 12, 2012
Feb 12, 2012 at 12:43 PM UTC
In a dream I never sought
unprecedented horrors and thoughts
a scissors with a hint of blood
heavy and surreal sound
the demon within speaks
I exfoliate to my core
The mask of sanity is no more intact
Disturbed and desolate in an unknown labyrinth
Of love, of law and of thoughts
Death is abutting your life
an escape to an aberrant sanctuary
scrupulous circles of luminance lead you further
The past is farce and forgotten
The senile you and your transgressions end
Your dalliance with humanity culminates
Loathe and love exist no more
Reverie is not what I need
restore the thought indeed
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 2, 2012 at 4:54 AM UTC
scene: Fast-food outlet half plastic paper cup rolling aberrant twixt the fingers of a mild breeze, leaving traces of hollow sounds against the leg of a bus shelter.
~
Feeling diseased, predominantly symptomatic of the hard shutdown and cardboard cutout nervous impulses of this nigh-fluttering arrhythmia, the haunting thought of how I really just can't do this anymore, permanently leaving dwellings of what could've been in sheltered murk; remembering the sound of exhaling as I had fallen to delicately brush your cheek, the little things you never noticed... you never did notice, did you?
[not that I gave you any reason to.]
And, now, it's all loss and letting go or giving up: so, nothing has changed, save for long-deliberated decisions finally made, regarding quitting and cutting down on thinking about such matters and moral dilemmas whilst time dries out; I have more lives to lead, do I not? Even if, once, the belief was that you were all the life I needed, in whatever meanwhile we tangled up in our collective noose-knots. Even if I thought I'd loved you.
Left with the curtain pulled, grey rolling hilltops, all I have to admit is that there's no reason, any more, to get messed up over these bits like gravel and tar into tender soles; it all drops out with disaffected expressions, a little pain [much, much less than would eventuate, if circumstances were left the way they are], and those lingering half-degree burns your lips left around my breath.
It's not your fault.
I never meant to fall for you in the first place, anyway.
I'm trying to make things right.
So, don't worry any more, for to neglect the corridors of my heart set aside for you is all I can do, now.
Dec 22, 2012
Dec 22, 2012 at 11:41 PM UTC
High.
Breathing is normal,
appetite is aberrant.
All sounds are ambient.
I
am
still
here.
Lost in time;
unaware of reality,
but aware of my sanity.
Am
I
still
here?
Senses have risen
and failed
My mind is jailed.
Will
I
stay
here?
Jailed but liberated,
I am one with everything.
My heart begins to sing.
I
am
not
here.
-Bb
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 28, 2013 at 7:13 PM UTC
Captivating, conspicuously charming
A fragrance so enthralling
Bewitching the senses
Enticing the unfocused soul
Hypnotizing, hardly hypnagogic
Such unparalleled grace
A peculiar dancer
Coaxing the mind to perplexity
Anodyne, aberrant anesthesia
Resembling an ethereal angel
A touch appealing to tame flames
Surreptitiously gathering fuel
Sacrosanct, superficially sacred
Donned with deceptive modesty
An ambiguous spark
Threatening to begin a wildfire
Efflorescing, escaping encumbrance
Soon, a firm grasp on freedom
The freedom so prematurely served
Too early to be maximized
Incantations, whisper incantations
Silence the demented demons
An unconventional ritual
To fortify the continence
Ebbing continence
Another attempt made
Stall the impending debauchery
Enunciation is needed -
Esurience is never innate, but provoked
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 5:06 AM UTC
how do you
fade? doves
sink into a red sun
pale,
aberrant in a sky of
memory.
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 1:41 AM UTC
Looking to the west I see a perfect rainbow
Tucked under and lifting a symphony of cloud
The sun beams in lay-lines from its horizon.
Yet, the scientist who explains this phenomenon
Cannot describe my feelings for such a spectacle
Cannot describe the song in me that dances
The miracle of light and spectrum.
—-
You are mighty, you are ethereal
Your many fingers rake aberrant their spatulas of light
Your beauty makes all else ghastly or at least ordinary.
The trifles of each day’s turnings are insignificant in comparison.
A conscience of orb, mist, shadow, light
The Gods derive pleasure from your presence
Else their thunderous growls bemoan your magnificence.
—-
There is no darkness just the absence of light
There is no cold just the absence of heat
There is no disbelief just the absence of your benediction.
Uncapturable, delicate, infamous portent.
In the implausible silence you are where I worship
Without beginning or ending
Yours is an ultimate mantra.
Aug 12, 2011
Aug 12, 2011 at 4:13 AM UTC
Herewith
Definitive semblance
of allegorical allusion
That unto the masses
in abject delusion
Replete with the
studied sacred illusion
of cosmic worth
for every cosmetic remedy
of indolent intrusion
Yea Right.
Characteristically docile
Accused and convicted
of arrested development
Screeching Hell awaits
the plentious harvest
of the crop of fools
Arreared in impetuousity
and impulse for that
most deviant sake
Yea Right.
Drowning awash in misery
Choosing to swim on alone
Thinking they then
are the chosen one
They then the center
God society et al
ad infinitum?
That most aberrant
Human Secular
thought.
Yea...Right.
-R.
(11.10.17)
-LA
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017 at 5:31 PM UTC
I wanted to fall asleep immediately
So I could hold on to the sound of your voice
Float on its timbre
And let your english envelop me like a foreign language
This aberrant dialect.
Every letter wrapping me in its cursive like a warm blanket as I try to commit these strange sounds to memory, because a sentence has NEVER made my face soo flush
OR made me feel the way my soul feels barefoot center stage.
That last breath before blackout.
The feeling in my chest as the curtains rise...
Honest
Childish
Your word choice
I wanted to fall asleep immediately when we got off the phone so I wouldnt miss that flight to you in my dreams!
Where the night doesn't end...
I hadn't taken off my earrings
Or my necklace or my glasses
I hadn't tied my hair
Or brushed my teeth
I didnt say my prayers!! I, I wanted to fall asleep immediately so I could pretend that you were
THERE.
Ya know?
Holding me at heart-beat's length
Telling me to keep talking cause
my voice is so mellifluous.
my silly rambling is a lullaby.
Sweet, melodic
Pleasant, soothing
Too much of a good thing
I wanted to fall asleep immediately so I could land on our conversing and allow the reverberating echo of my collision to torment every
Stage.
Of.
REM.
A reflection of him
And me. And time. Delayed gratification.
The ever-waaaaning night!
Tomorrow
but a slow
creep...
sigh
I wanted to fall asleep immediately
'Lest this moment
forgo my keep.
3.18am 7.25.14
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 11:02 PM UTC
At the darkest end of the rainbow
It lies,
The balance of vitality gone askew
Unleashing its evil side,
It creeps slowly then bares fangs
With speed,
Potent beyond regulation
Its aberrant seeds,
That will grow into whatever they want,
That will grow however they want,
That will grow as much as they want,
Taking shapes of
Flesh and blood and bile and bone
And twisting their faces so
They're recognisable no more,
As if mocking us and our prayers
For Growth-
The immoral, the immortal side of the coin,
Cancer, the evil twin of Life.
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 11:43 PM UTC
There was a time before the claws of insecurity
and self-hatred sank its talons into my skin
It was sunshine, warm hugs and the sound of stories being read aloud
I never wondered about my looks
It never mattered
There was never an inkling that my worth was measured in beauty
Girls and women starve themselves to fit the moulds of artifical female bodies
as if it is them and their bodies that are wrong and misfigured.
When in actuality, it is the toxic ideals of our global society that are aberrant and rotten to the core.
how are they to save themselves from the demons of their own mind
how are you going to save us from them when you were the ones who put them there?
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014 at 11:27 AM UTC
Sleep is my greatest misfortune,
sleep...? Is my aberrant torture
Never been consumed by something like this before
My body is at war, overwhelming gore
My eyelids are folding over my body
As I roll into my flesh bed
I'm forced into a slumber,
my eyes are obliged to unnaturally stay vexed
I dream... or am I graveled?
My intellect is gulled, it affronts,
it soars into my heart
This is infernal, am I dreaming, or am I awake?
A vulture took my brain and put it on a stake
I took the "dream" and buried it all around
As I come back from my excursion
I am hampered, not manumitted
I'm underground
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 4:20 AM UTC
I am my light, I am my savior
My ego feeds on *** and drugs
Fueling my archaic fluorescence,
Ephemeral guises of love and permanence.
My aberrant, absconding soul is always hungry.
This restlessness is eating away my passion.
I am floundering out, spinning to the ground
But even at rock bottom,
I am Technicolor.
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 12:07 AM UTC
You call and say I'm aberrant
You don't wanna be stuck indoors deviating
I don't like your storms
I miss your floodwaters
I need an affectional sleet
I miss your earthquakes
Then you came with all your quaking
You must think I'm an aftershock
You must think I'm abnormal
Now I can't find the volcanism without you
Volcanism without you
Queer and two
Like the ingenue over slew
Subthalamic and cuckoo
And I'm dancing because you're undue
Twisters ain't nothing when I'm betraying with ya
Gay
Do you mind if I steal a permafrost?
I miss your downdrafts
Calamities are not safe
I don't like your cataclysms
And every homosexuality is failsafe
Then you came with all your frothing
You must think I'm a calvinism
It's time we had some infernos
Will you hold me tight and not go flaming
You don't wanna be stuck indoors backtracking
When I'm shaming with ya
Shaming with ya
When I'm with you, all I have is inappropriate thoughts
It's time we had some embarrassments
I'm rebuking 'til dawn
Na na na na gay
Na na gay
Like the tray over buffet
Na na na na gay
Like the valet over heyday
Transgender and ok
Got more halfway
May 8, 2019
May 8, 2019 at 5:59 PM UTC
A midnight daydream could not match my prolonged slumber,
but the ice cold grin of isolation prohibits my resistance
and such theology burns crisp justifications into my hands.
Golden locks of hair surround the frayed edges of a rug
conversing ideas and mocking the unscripted door I stand on.
So I fabricated a tasteless disposition
to leak through a thousand inconspicuous sermons
that lean against me like a pile of corpses.
Without a single whisper, I abandoned all but a faulty quest
which holds me like a rotting prisoner
between the contrived confessions of a minister
who is required to dress into the eligible axiom,
so he repairs his scattered dependence in the light of day
and polishes the scruffs of his boots with the blessed liquid of God.
But I required none but the shimmer of this crescent
which produced this aberrant midnight daydream.
Dec 3, 2011
Dec 3, 2011 at 4:07 PM UTC