#worthwhile
I have become the sum of all my fears and failures
The accumulation through the years,
To some degree,
Is on another level then most others
Uninstalled the self installed blinders
Hoping to stumble across some left behind life perks
I didn't know this is how finders keepers works
Nothing found has kept me off the ground,
Barley kept me out the ground,
And every moment hurts
For what it's worth,
I don't know what I'm worth
Starting to wonder,
Just internally first,
But maybe this whole thing is cursed
Or worse
There was never a purpose of falling prey to thirst
©2024
Apr 14, 2024
Apr 14, 2024 at 8:49 PM UTC
Live as if you were a firecracker
Which burns out too soon
Makes such an impression
Worth it
But the gunpowder is what makes the explosion worthwhile
May 21, 2021
May 21, 2021 at 4:22 AM UTC
Deep dark days
The curtains of pain fall
The stage is covered
We don't know what's behind
It's the future
Something we can't determine
Looking up at the sky
Walking for a mile
We are all strangers
Lost in time
Our mind is complex
Full of emotions
we ourselves don't understand
If we are deserts
Then the dunes are our minds
Constantly shifting
No reason no rhyme
Lost in this strange land
We are all alike
Yet we are different
In how we see life
We are balloons hollow on the inside
The rubber expands as we live our lives
But the question remains
Did we do anything worthwhile?
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 2:22 PM UTC
Unseen
Unheard
Yet close to the heart
Everything
Reminds
Me
Of you
You are divine
Feb 4, 2020
Feb 4, 2020 at 6:56 PM UTC
I wonder if I'll ever know what it feels like
to wake up each morning
to a life
that's actually worth living.
Jan 23, 2020
Jan 23, 2020 at 10:58 PM UTC
Why do we use
Those artificial smiles
To greet one another?
That goes on for miles and miles?
Why do we exercise
Those 10 muscles around the mouth.
When what we're really doing
Is being uncouth?
I wonder why the people still smile.
To hide their unrelenting pain.
When all they need to do,
Is diverge the rain away?
That was what I thought,
A few years ago.
But now with more experience,
I'll can tell you oh~
Pretend that you are happy,
And the world will be less blue.
Pretend that you are happy,
And you're start to believe it's true!
Ignore all your problems,
And you'll see that life's worthwhile.
Pretend that you are happy,
And your friends might stick around.
Smile everyday!
Sep 8, 2019
Sep 8, 2019 at 7:39 AM UTC
I don't want forever with you
I want worthwhile
because mortals can't live eternally
but we can
certainly
truly
definitely
make our love
worth our time on earth
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 15, 2019 at 4:15 PM UTC
There’s so much more to offer than just ***
the opportunity of learning how to connect,
With harmonic vibrations being content.
A love so deep, strong, and complex
No one can ever come in between
This never ending apex.
I spent my days waiting for you,
waiting for us to come together.
I have finally let down my walls,
and learned to love myself enough
to love you too.
Where are you? I know you are near
somewhere. I feel this flame burning
Inside of me waiting to be combined
With yours.
I could imagine our love being
so pure, with many languages
Motions and more.
I could imagine our minds align
At the same time
You being as complete as I.
Jul 3, 2019
Jul 3, 2019 at 3:40 AM UTC
You must love me because nothing else makes sense
Kind words you say rarely sneak past my defense
Yet you patiently compliment me daily
Even on days I am ungrateful or crazy
Sometimes feel like I treat you unfair
Or think I would prefer not having you there
I wish I didn't care about you so much
Reacting angrily when you revoke your touch
You reflect the same doting affection
Your pupils are reluctant to gaze my direction
So do not pretend that after all these years you still feel the same
Don't know when or how or what exactly-but something's changed
Because it's obvious you love me by the way you tell me and how you act
No one else would have stayed this long and that's a fact
And it brings so much shame to watch your sad face stick around
Hold on out of concern for the love to which it's bound
But when begged to do what's right for you and go far away
You never fail to find an even better reason to stay
I push you away from me in fear one of us will get hurt
Scared getting close is pointless cause we'll never work
And right when I'm about to pass the point where it's too late
I turn around realizing I'm making a mistake
Again and again the cycle repeats
You never surrender or admit defeat
I need to accept your love isn't fading
No matter how much I deserve degrading
Not one single thing I've done to prove he depths of my attraction
You are alright giving me your whole focus when you only get a fraction
Why can't I provide the security you need?
Used to be able to do anything for you to succeed
Now I have lost all motivation and hope
Remembering how I once was able to control stifled rage and cope
I can be cold and often don't play fair
More than anything I am grateful to have you there
Sometimes get mad at you when it's not your fault
Assumptions spark a critical verbal assault
When angry "I love you" is so hard to say
We are best friends but it doesn't always feel that way
Lately feel excluded from your present life
Can't wait to be free of your soon-to-be-ex-wife
To wake from the nightmare I accidentally created
Eyes opening to a day where I am just someone you dated
A morning where love hasn't got you wrapped in chains
Not obligated to handle my pains
Maybe that Dawn will arrive; hopefully not
I will do my best and our happy ending I will plot
I'll make you proud, we will finally be
The happy family so unfamiliar to me
Please be patient my love, soon we will laugh and smile
Life is so ****** up right now, you make it more worthwhile
Believing your words though difficult to hear
Because if you didn't love me you wouldn't be here
Jun 7, 2019
Jun 7, 2019 at 2:18 AM UTC
And with a sincere smile,
she looked to the stars
knowing the future was worthwhile,
even, with a thousand scars.
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 11:49 PM UTC
Striving forward, the bustle of the daily grind
The need to be that one percent better each day
We're all putting in this effort to find
The goals that lead us on our way.
Remembering not to compare ourselves to anyone
To focus on our own path and growth
Taking care not to forget to have fun
And to avoid the things that we loathe.
Each and every one of us has a unique story
That unravels as we work towards what we find worthwhile
For some its joy, for others its glory
That motivates us to move in our own style.
On our way we meet other people
And really this is the trick to life
To surround ourselves with those we feel
Are also working towards something worthwhile.
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 6:52 PM UTC
For love
A million positions available
Requirements
A curriculum vitae
Not perfect in its application
Remuneration
A labour of glorious returns
Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 4:18 PM UTC
I already hate myself for the things i do
their not good for my health
but they feel so good
no matter what
i find myself seeking out the substance to bring me up to the clouds
the change of character that comes with them
the confidence they bring
it's lovely
words are easy, songs flow out like a river
this feeling won't last
the ideas only exist under the influence
rinse and repeat
i hope they take me while i sleep
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 2:54 PM UTC
It was the third day of my madness caused by your doom
And my inner poet was lying with glooms
trying to perish
But your force was so strong and refreshing,
I felt his endless will to rise again and live
I was afraid to look his eyes even a moment
I had deprived him of worth, had left him to die
I was afraid hereafter of his conviction
I knew he was stronger because he had you...
But what I had my own, except my paltriness?!
What I did to save you
when you relentlessly put an end to yourself inside me?!
He said that he lived more vividly and worthily
And he deserved to live even more than me...
He asked what I had achieved more than ten years?
I shut up only, like before you had also made me
You had called all that I felt only complaints
But in fact, I had perceived you had also been afraid
To face the damages which you had caused to me...
Yes, my dear friend, I often have heavy damages
I was always traumatized in dimensional clashes
As I betray my eigen* and leave myself alone,
I begin to acknowledge my all emptiness
You can just exist in vain with your mind and logic
But you can truly live only by accepting your feelings valuable...
I got my strength with fire in my heart,
I was watching my growing power,
Which was circulating along my freezing veins
I hugged my innocent, suffering poet,
I promised to create - my own highest values,
My predecessors, my sufferer poet and me
would live hereafter disregarding yours!
But yet it was not fair, yet it was not worthwhile,
I had to cling to my dimensions much more deeply
I was full of energy and had everything to fight,
There appeared a dream to share my horizons I would gain thereafter...
But I lacked you... Who deserved to see it most than others...
As the one who was able to do the impossible
which no one had been able to do before...
You had to see my intentional life you had presented...
I wandered among the graves in my "graveheart",
Resurrected my all soulmates lying in chaos,
Who we shared our sacred dimensions of solitude
Who were craving to be felt and to be understood
Nietzche, Schopenhauer, Cioran lead them of course...
I brought them to life with the laughter you had taught me,
We marched side by side to the source of vitality,
We saluted Martin Eden
and vowed to avenge his suicidal also!
We movingly reached the end of my heart,
where your awesome grave was lying
I kept your cold remedial hands,
As I smiled, in return you smiled warmer than me,
You know, I can never smile or laugh as deep as you do,
I faithfully said that I wanted to live,
I promised one day I would laugh even more deeply than you do.
I understood you had wanted me just to be strong,
However, you hadn't been able to understand me again once more...
As women represent themselves as a tool to strong ones,
contrary they represent themselves as a present to the weak
That is why I was brawling and trying to withstand,
Could I accept you as another worthless thing rather than a present?!
I embraced you and internalized your
spirit,
All my soulmates exulted in it...
I and my pale poet set my new universe,
In company with the souls of our dimensions,
we raised you...
We raised you above all of the tortures and fears,
We raised you above all of the dimensions.
We raised you above all of the meanings,
We sacrificed the meaning of life for you
and I made you the center of my universe
You began to shine like the sun in my life,
Then all separated values and meanings
began in harmony to whirl around you
Around the sun of my worthwhile universe...
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 4:34 PM UTC
I've donated world
For the sake of my Lord's smile
Else nothing worthwhile
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 10:23 AM UTC
The past is always present
The present is always passing
Tomorrow is so near
But will never come to pass
The past is full of promises made for tomorrow
But tomorrow is never guaranteed
The future hold those promises made in the past
For the past holds the lessons from decisions made in the present
It is in the present now however
That I must make my pass
We are not promised tomorrow there is no guarantee we will grow old
By ten minutes or ten years
This is probably a mind ****** this early in the morning
But I just wanted to say it first thing
Because time in this life is short
I want to waste none of it
So first thing in the mornings I want to help make yours just that much better
Give a start to your day, and maybe just a little smile
Good morning to you angel
I hope your day is worthwhile
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 31, 2015 at 1:42 PM UTC
*Life is worthwhile when you see the sunrise
Listening to the chirpy birds making merry
Glinting dewdrops are nature’s solitaire
Pirouetting on the edges with nimble feet
Sun rays kissing life into all the half sleepy heart
Waking up to the fresh aroma of pristine dawn
Walking on bare grass to get a strong foothold
Feeling one with nature embracing me tight
It’s a symphony of the grandest orchestra
Starting our day with a pledge in our heart
In making this day all the more worthwhile*
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 12:21 PM UTC
I tried writing my words in the sand for all to see
Imagine my surprise when right before my eyes it got swept away by the tide of the river in front of me
I then tried to send a message in a bottle the bottle quickly got crushed and the paper turned to mush
I must have rushed and not planed to carefully
I later tried to write something on a stone, it felt good to hold ever so carefully, despite my best plans it slipped through my hands; and landed with too many other similar stones and blended in and I could not retrieve it again
I could have let discouragement win, but I thought I should try it again, because I really wanted to share this message
I tried once more and carefully explored my surroundings
I suddenly saw a big rock I had to trend some water to get there
I carefully took stock in whether or not this rock would do to display the message , and would it be worthwhile
I smiled as I observed that it was solid and could not be moved by the tides: it had a firm foundation so firm in fact that it could support my weight
The son shined on it creating warmth and I felt a sense of peace, I felt a release from the struggle of moments before; the words were clearly illuminated by the suns light on the words displayed like lighting the way for those who would receive the message; and it was good.
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 4:46 AM UTC