#whyipractice
Yesterday
I needed
To feel
The ground
Solid
And deep
Under
My feet.
I needed
To feel
My legs
Solid
And strong
On top of
My mat.
And when
My legs
Felt weak
Yesterday
I needed
To feel.
And when
The ground
Felt
Shaky
Today
I needed
To need.
And it was ok
Because I’d practiced.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:10 PM UTC
I peer
Towards the flame
From behind
The gauze of,
“I wish,”
And
“What if,”
And
“Why can’t,”
And it is dark
There.
And it is dark
Until
My breathing seeps
Between the edges
Separating
Wishes from
Cants
And why nots
From what ifs.
And here
I am now
In the clear
Flickering
Light
Of the morning.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:09 PM UTC
I forgot,
Today,
To pick
A beat
To set
My flow.
Instead,
I found
The rushing
Of my breath
And the creaking
Of my bones
And the popping
Of my joints
And the whispered screeching
Of my muscles
In the silence.
I remembered,
Today,
To hear
My flow
Set my beat.
And the closing chords
Were lovely.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:10 PM UTC
Some days,
I feel lonely
In the dark,
In the quiet,
Seeking
To create
A moment
Or two
Of just being
By redoing
And redoing
With Intention.
Other days,
Though -
Other days,
Everyone
I’ve ever loved
Or hurt
Or been seen by
Shows up
In the alleys
Between
Being
And doing
And I
Recognize
Us.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:05 PM UTC
First,
I found
My feet.
My toes,
And heels,
And arches.
They dug in deep
And I reached.
Next my legs
Emerged,
My calves,
And shins,
And thighs.
They thickened
And I soared.
And in the end,
I bent
Into feet and legs,
Muscle and bone,
And found grace.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:08 PM UTC
I pause
The grinding
Mindwork
To find
My pieces
Scrambled and
Scattered
About.
A hope here.
A doubt there.
A glimpse of a memory
That always leaves me
Guilty.
I pause.
And breathe
Space
Between the gears.
I pause
And stretch
Time
Between the beats.
And with spacetime
Set aside,
My pieces slip into place.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:07 PM UTC
My mat
Feels
Somehow
Simultaneously
Too big
For the small
Space
I’ve squeezed
Myself
Into
And
Too small
To contain
What’s leaking
From
My bursted seams.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:09 PM UTC
My body
Arrives,
Still
Hot and
Driving
The beat
Of my run.
And the Practice
It finds there
Is more rest
Than rhythm
More stillness
Than shifts.
And I breathe
Into body
Over and over
As my mind
Insists
We move on.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:06 PM UTC
Some days
I have
To shut
My eyes
And listen
To find
My way
Into my skin.
Body still,
I fill my lungs
And lay
Breath
Down
With intention
Crumb
By
Crumb.
And for a moment,
I am full.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:07 PM UTC
On this day
I slipped
Into my practice
Upon waking
Like
Easing
Into your bed
After too much
Living
Leaves us
Weak.
Necessary
And
Indulgent
Somehow
To leave be
The befores
And the laters
And come to rest
In the now.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:06 PM UTC
And in the morning
I roll out
My old mat.
And on it
I gather
My stray
Yearnings
Concerns
Memories
Regrets
Hopes
Et cetera,
Making room
For them to thrash
And reach
And tumble about
Without taking me with them.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:26 PM UTC
The rhythm comes
Easily tonight,
With a day’s-worth
Of doings
And thinkings
And feelings
Looking to settle.
And the breath
Shares the beat
With the body
On repeat -
Pulling,
Folding,
Melting,
Breathing.
I pull.
I fold.
I melt.
And breathe.
And breathe.
And breathe...
I’m all colored bits
Bound in wax paper
When your voice
Whisks me back -
“Baby?”
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:50 PM UTC
Today
That space
I seek
And find
Was slippery
And sloped.
I found myself,
Over
And over,
Sliding forward
Into
Tomorrow,
Into
Next month,
Into
And Then
Into
What If
And
One Day.
But
When I let go
I found,
At the bottom,
The sought.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:57 PM UTC
Today I practiced
All
The most Important
Details.
I breathed,
And I felt
Myself
Breathing.
I listened,
And I heard
Myself
Living.
And I planted my feet,
And I reached
Way past
Where I usually
Stop.
And later,
In his eyes,
I saw what
I practiced for.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC
I woke
Hesitant
To do so,
Not quite ready
For the next
To be now.
Yet
So it was,
(And so I woke)
And so it kept
Being.
Now.
And now.
And now.
And now.
And then,
In a moment,
Still and shadowed,
I caught up.
And woke again.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC
Wandering,
Ragged,
And worn,
I stumble on
To my mat.
And reaching
Past its
Rubber edges
I gather
The pieces
Of me
Strewn about -
Knees and elbows,
Tips and toes,
A bit of flesh,
An ***** or two -
Each finding
Its place
So I can find mine
Before sunrise.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:47 PM UTC
I found
My mat,
Today,
Squeezed
Between
Housework
And workwork
In a space
Too small
And too quick
To expect
The twists
And bridges
And wheels
That unfolded there.
I smiled,
At the end,
Folding forward
In thanks
For the unexpected
That shows up
In the in-betweens.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:48 PM UTC
Some days
(Especially those that echo with
“Move,” and
“Hurry,” and
“Do, do, do... but don’t!...”)
Those days
I may just sit,
And breathe,
And come back to sitting
And breathing
And if it takes
Every moment
Of my practice
To arrive,
Still,
I find myself there.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:45 PM UTC
When the time
Arrived,
I didn’t.
I made an appearance -
A quick Hello -
Then scampered off
To solve Problems,
To anticipate Issues,
To recall Details
My mind provided
For careful
(And Urgent!)
Examination.
My body stayed,
Working
Excuses into
Polite Conversation.
Just in case.
And in the end,
It left alone.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 3:59 PM UTC