#whathappened
You used to be my best friend,
now its like i never existed.
I used to be your best friend
now its like you never existed.
Thanks for the help dad
i try not to be mad
but knowing you choose
drugs, Burglary
living on the streets
Over a relationship with me.
makes me wonder
why I'm not good enough..
You don't even have to give that up.
Just wish you'd call and say what's up.
Do you sleep peacefully?
Is there any guilt or remorse
when you think of me?
do you even realize
what you did to me
when the personal creator
who birthed me
Tragically departed the earth early
only two weeks after turning 18.
You were nowhere to been seen
searching for your teen.
Her heart
she let open bleed
at that fateful scene.
But if you're wondering,
I'm alive and occupied,
attempting to mend
These shattered dreams of mine
I don't despise.
But I do wonder why
I was a sweet young girl
taking on a new lonely world.
You'd be proud to know,
i conquered it great
with no supports
and did what it takes
to adapt and outlast.
Forced to mature too fast
i forgive as a daughter,
but as a father
i can never understand
abandonment as your plan
thus forfeiting
being a man.
Grieving you,
but your not dead
Your lost in your head.
Eighteen -
supposed to be
when my life started..
But everything i loved,
departed.
Grieving a mother
Wondering
what happened to my father
Its not fair to me,
nor to the men i meet,
that i want them to fill the emptiness
that you could easily complete.
I run when I feel love.
I'm terrified to open up.
For they may take it and run
I will do me.
You do you.
Once i fully make peace with the truth
I can be the me
that was free
and full of life
before you disrupted my upbringing
------
Now I'm 28.
I've processed the pain
And I'm done playing
the waiting game.
I no longer wish for you to care.
To be there.
I accept what is here.
Ive had many nights
Where I wasn't alright
Flashbacks arrive
The little girl
wonders why.
But, I did something different this time
As I seen her in my brain
I allowed the pain.
Drop out of my mind
And into my body.
Experienced fully.
Hyperventilating,
body convulsing
Hardly breathing
I finally let my body feel
the pain I felt was real.
I never allowed it.
So I never healed.
The inner child,
She had to die
So I can mature
And start to raise
my standards high.
1/3/26
Jul 16, 2025
Jul 16, 2025 at 4:00 PM UTC
I thought that we were friends
What happened
Did we talk to much
Did i say something
Am i not good enough for you?
Where did i go wrong?
Are you gone forever
Will we be friends ever again?
I lost a friend
What happens
How do i tell you im sorry only when i dont always want to waste my breathe When you might not even care.
What happens next?
Will anything even happen?
Will i ever love again?
I loved you but.
What happened?
Why dont we talk?
What happened?
I wish we could be together.
where did i go wrong.
i cant believe i lost you over mainly
Nothing!!
I feel lost.
Hopeless.
Why do things happen.
What do i do.
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 7:56 AM UTC
I was once a girl
Who played with her toys
I was once a girl who played
Baseball with boys
I was once a girl
who got ripped to shreds
so many times
I would one day need meds
I was once a girl
Small and fragile
slapped and grabbed
so I learned to be agile
I was once a girl
who let her guard down
So now I am the girl
who always has a frown
I was once a girl
happy and thin
But now I'm the girl
who always wonders
What could have been
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018 at 8:22 PM UTC
I've been told that people have forgotten what happened.
I've been told that word got around.
I've been told that hatred still exists here.
And you tell me not to be guilty.
But I look at them...
And feel nothing but the pain I cause them.
I know I'm no good.
I cannot believe that you say I'm a good person.
When seeing them does nothing but remind me of how I ruined it all.
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 12:47 AM UTC
She showed me that being strong willed was hardly enough in the midst of her disaster, I've watched buildings falter beneath her steps only for her to then smile like nothings happened
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 8:45 PM UTC
In this house, ruckus occurred.
the bathroom was filled with tears,
tears from scrapes and cuts and bruises
the kitchen filled with the sound of forks scraping against plates
the bedrooms filled with dog hair
the living room filled with snores from those late nights
the hallway filled with dirt from those muddy days
the bedroom walls filled with posters
the bedroom floors filled with clothes
In this house ruckus occurred
the bathroom was filled with broken glass
the kitchen with cans and jars,
lying still on the floor, covered with dust
the bedrooms remember
the faint memory of boxes and suitcases
the living room filled from the televisions soft glow
a warning broadcasted from above
the hallway filled with clothes pushed to the side
to make room for more
the bedroom walls filled with holes
the bedroom floors filled with blankets and more dust
In this house, ruckus occurred.
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016 at 9:09 PM UTC
Just go, you clearly don't know what you want from me
Just leave, no words or thoughts like it's so ******* easy
Just now I thought something could finally happen
Just stupid old me for giving in after a bottle of Kracken..
Now I can't, I don't know who you are
Now I want and miss how you could take me so far
Now I just feel empty and so ******* alone
Now I sit and wonder why you couldn't just pick up your phone..
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 1:19 AM UTC
He puts me in a haze
everytime we blaze
I gaze
with dismay
and pray
someday
that I may
disobey
this craving heart
s.q.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 4:20 PM UTC
the mirror used to show her reflection
her hair that twirled at the ends
the way her lips stre e e e ched when she smiled
her eyes clear like they'd never seen a storm
masked with childlike innocence,
an antique veil that wears away
slowly
letting light seep in
thinner each year
until she looks one day
at her reflection in the mirror,
eyes truly open for the first time
and there's a spotlight on her flaws
that she'd never seen before
like a blindfold lifted
she's squinting in the sun
and she rubs her eyes but can no longer see
the twirled hair and smiling lips
that had been before.
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 5:17 PM UTC