#upset
Stretched, torn, hauled
Churned inside out,
Bound in knots
With no way out
"Push on, move on
Get on with it!
Pick yourself up,
Just deal with it"
I wake, surface
Slump out of bed
Dazed in shower,
Wish I was dead
"Shut up, think straight
Sort out your head!
You're crazy, nutcase;
Hear what I said?!"
Yes Sir, though Sir
My bags are full,
I Truly believe
It's best for all
I can't go on,
Bereft, forlorn
Can't heave myself
My bones are worn
"Why act so bruised?!"
How can't you know,
Life struck me with
The penultimate blow
If it were simple,
I'd escape this place
But my son, you see
Is my saving grace.
May 25
May 25, 2026 at 5:55 PM UTC
I cannot stop
Being angry at you
Just as I cannot stop
Being in love with you
Mar 31
Mar 31, 2026 at 10:25 AM UTC
i keep thinking...
if i could just get on a bus
any bus
the motion would fix me
but even the roads
look tired
of carrying people like me.
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 2:06 PM UTC
I’ve filled myself up
With anger and bile
Irritated, impatient
Another tired child
I let my voice rise
My heart skips its beats
My breath comes in sighs
My eyes twitch and tweak
I know that I need
To rest, ease, and still
But until I can
My tone will be shrill
Feb 17
Feb 17, 2026 at 9:00 AM UTC
I sit and wait
Hoping someday
You find your way
Back to me
Long days
I sit alone
Wondering was it me
Or someone unknown
Sat beside the tree
You said you loved me
Your hand in mine
Felt like home to me
The wind moves softly
Through empty air
Carrying whispers
Of when you were there
Leaves fall slowly
Just like before
But now they land
On memories I adore
I trace your name
Into the bark
Hoping somehow
You’ll see the mark
Was it my silence
Or words I said
That pushed your heart
Somewhere instead
Seasons keep changing
Yet I remain
Holding onto love
And quiet pain
Feb 7
Feb 7, 2026 at 7:28 PM UTC
I don't know what I expected
All that anger I've collected
Every second I neglected
That that **** should've been dealt with
Should've seen that that was selfish
Animosity replenished
Watch all my good will diminish
All relationships have limits
And I test until I bend them
Now who do I ask forgiveness
Who would want this from a friendship
Callous venom and resentment
Undermining every minute
Relentlessly pessimistic
Meteoric mental menace
Asking if we're finally finished
Jan 18
Jan 18, 2026 at 2:06 PM UTC
Why do you make goals?
Such meaningless motions to live,
It’s so unnecessary, impractical,
When you won’t hold it up
When you don’t mean it
Why do you get pressed?
Why do they get mad?
When you refuse
I don’t care for such motions,
Such worthless goals,
When I know what I need, want,
They get pressed, upset,
Such worthless, meaningless,
Stupid motions…
I hate them, when they antagonize,
Question, and accuse,
So hatful and rude,
They don’t mind their business,
I don’t aim for goals
Why won’t they stay backed down?
Back in their own lane,
Life would be easier, practical,
Simple, I loathe them,
I loathe their motions.
Nov 7, 2025
Nov 7, 2025 at 3:20 PM UTC
the thoughts
they just keep on racing,
like they're all competing --
winner gets the reward of
tears flowing.
emotions non-stop.
no runner ups.
and they wont stop.
why wont they stop?
Aug 28, 2025
Aug 28, 2025 at 11:27 AM UTC
this feeling of
upset,
frustrated,
sad,
misunderstood,
mad --
just makes me want
to rip my hair out of my head
and punch something.
knowing i full well
do not have the strength
to do
either.
i would break my knuckles
punching something,
and hurt my hands trying to
pull all my hair out.
im too weak.
that's what this was all about anyway,
im mad because im weak,
im sad because im too quiet,
im frustrated because no one hears me!
no one truly understands
my brain
and that will never change
no matter what i do.
no one but me is in here.
i feel things loudly,
and it feels like
im being swallowed
by multiple intense
feelings
all at
once.
and it's just too much,
for one girl.
one brain.
one heart.
one voice.
it makes me want to yank my hair out
and punch something
until my knuckles are red and ******
Jul 13, 2025
Jul 13, 2025 at 12:57 AM UTC
Darkness, is the lack of light
where nothing is bright
the black of a moonless night
deepest depth of the greatest sea where the day is out of sight
Darkness is a pressured mind
where life and people are all unkind
where your crying heart constantly pined
and depression weighs down to render you fatally blind
Give it time
without a sign
sun will shine
the blackness will be forgotton, for a while you'll be fine
Jul 12, 2025
Jul 12, 2025 at 11:58 AM UTC
im not even mad anymore --
im just just
tired
of your antics.
you twisted things
so well
that i actually
started to believe
that i was the villain
in my own story.
you were loud,
but somehow,
im the one that
they stopped
listening to.
it's funny
how that works, huh?
i wont send this.
because you would
more than likely --
just turn it into another reason
to prove me wrong.
but honestly,
youre not worth my voice
anymore.
Jul 10, 2025
Jul 10, 2025 at 12:11 AM UTC
I wish I could, open up my brain sometimes,
Show everyone what it’s like, they all would say,
“Sure it’s a normal brain, everyone’s the same”
Nah it really isn’t you see, because there is something different with mine, I’d show it to you if you have time?
I might “look” okay but, my brain races,
I might say that I am okay, but within moments,
My brain creates scenario's for a million different things, that dont even exist,
If only you could see it, some days, it’s repaired,
Next, it’s beyond.
I don’t know what to do how the **** am I suppose to respond?
Some days I feel everything,
Others I feel numb,
On top of that,
A voice,
Saying,
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Mar 19, 2025
Mar 19, 2025 at 10:36 PM UTC
My dreams of a warm snow day were thwarted by nature's other plans. On my way to work, my car slid down the same Wayne mountain which had imbued me with dreams of peace for today. The unkempt roads, covered in the slush of snow crushed by other poor souls trudging their way to work. Jobs who could care less about employees safety paved the way for my mood to reach the tipping point it's at. 2 minutes late to punch and my boss says it's my fault for not planning properly. Little did she know I had planned on them caring about me more than they apparently do.
---
On my way to work
Ice plots my likely demise
God plots otherwise
---
Feb 12, 2025
Feb 12, 2025 at 10:43 AM UTC
Cry
Cry
Cry
See if I care.
I’m so numb now
All I can do is stare.
Stare at your face,
Cold and upset.
Why so upset?
Why
Why
Why
Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 3:21 PM UTC
My pillow is my silent guide,
A therapist where fears confide.
In moments when my heart's on fire,
I scream into its cotton spire.
It muffles all my ragged cries,
Absorbing every tear that dries.
A sanctuary soft and near,
It holds my pain, my darkest fear.
No judgment in its tender folds,
Just comfort that it gently holds.
When life is more than I can bear,
My pillow’s always waiting there.
A witness to my sleepless nights,
It knows my lows, it feels my heights.
In muffled screams, in quiet weep,
My pillow grants me peaceful sleep.
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 5:19 PM UTC
sometimes i want to open up to you.
slice through my bruising flesh,
to reveal to you what words could never say.
i trust you like that.
to see how my ribs cage fragments of a broken heart,
and how my lungs are black from second hand smoke.
i want you to dig in,
and pull out all the things i’ve always questioned.
til the only thing left is a hollowed out hole.
maybe that way i can really feel nothing,
instead of saying i don’t
to avoid the conversation.
i want you to drain me of my blood.
like the vampires in movies i watched as a child.
so i don’t have to feel it pumping through my veins,
every time i feel the urge to open myself up
and search deep,
deep,
deep,
for a reason to feel nothing instead of feeling everything all at once
Aug 14, 2024
Aug 14, 2024 at 8:14 PM UTC
My old friend,
A famous song and I love to be in the dark of a near silent wood,
Especially with good company
Of worthy friends,
But the darkness referred to in the song is nobody's friend,
The darkness of the soul when life goes south,
When illness strikes or hearts are broken
Then darkness comes
To **** out life and joy
And happiness,
I am in that darkness now
But I refuse to submit,
I will NOT sit blinded
By my sadness and
That which is inflicted,
I shall live my grief
And outlast it until such time
As love returns and the sun rises
On a new day
Or a returning love
One way or another my heart will sing again
I shall prevail
Jun 21, 2024
Jun 21, 2024 at 4:41 AM UTC
Can you feel it?
Can you feel the heat?
Can you feel the pressure in the atmosphere?
Or is that just me?
When did the calm disappear and my palms get sweaty?
**** I'm unsteady on my feet.
I've been flipped like a light switch.
Cool and collected I am no more.
The words I pitch to you are already formed without thought and will hit you full force.
Maybe I could've waited?
But anger's never procrastinated.
It's instant and ferocious.
I know this, you know this, we all know this.
But it doesn't help knowing in these briefest of moments.
A flash and its done, nobodys won.
Just two broken people with regrets of whats happened with a loved one.
What a shameful and painful time to be alive.
It almost hardens the heart,
It takes its toll on the inside.
It's something we can't plan for
We can only realise after the fact and apologise.
Even if the wound is still sore.
I'm sorry.
In that moment my mind was blinded.
Can you forgive me for that moment of unkindness?
Apr 2, 2020
Apr 2, 2020 at 4:22 AM UTC
Don't be upset
with the rose
thorns are meant
to be close!
Aug 23, 2022
Aug 23, 2022 at 10:50 PM UTC
i need to get some stuff off my chest
my cousin doesn’t like me anymore
i’m at a family gathering right now;
a birthday party
i love talking to my aunts and my grandma
they include me in conversations and
make me feel worth their while
maybe it’s a me problem
that i changed and i’m average
and painful to be around
it could most definitely be that
and i wish i could stop
obsessing over speaking
but quarantine ******* me over
and left me with repulsive social anxiety
someone’s laughing
and the shaven dog is barking
my ears can’t handle this
the dog hates me, she doesn’t
let me pet her and i just wish i had a
dog as a companion, but
my parents don’t want that responsibility
even though it would be all mine
i need a dog, i need a friend
who’s always present,
there for me
no one ever is
no one knows what gathers inside
my brain throughout the day
that forces me to write
or i would literally burst.
now my cousin said goodbye to her
favorite aunt and uncle
and her young cousins who
are perfectly skinny and basic
and **** perfect
i’m miserable now
it’s not like it used to be
her cousin looks like a model
where’s my glow up?
i just look so terribly ugly
that it hurts me so badly
even twelve year olds look like models
and they make me
so terrifically insecure
it’s infuriating
how unfair some things are
especially genetics and body dysmorphia
i need some boy who’ll soothe
this mental state i have
been swallowed up in
without my consent
my incompetent brain has never heard
the word ‘no’ before, apparently
i’m sick to my stomach
thinking about everything
and how everything used to be
and how everyone is changing
and how much i want to die
killing me would be doing me
a huge favor at this point
why do people always have
to make me insecure with their
toned bodies and gorgeous faces?
i am convinced that something
is eternally wrong with me
but i’ll stop making you
mad by saying i hate myself
cause now it’s basically redundant
but one last time
for good measures
i hate myself
and i’ll never be an asset
to society
goodbye, the only thing that loves me for who i am is my writing
Aug 7, 2022
Aug 7, 2022 at 5:17 PM UTC
a piece of my heart will always belong to him, no matter what.
I am not bitter.
I am not upset.
He loved me the way he knew how to love,
and isnt that beautiful?
Aug 6, 2022
Aug 6, 2022 at 10:01 PM UTC
People call me talented…
But if only the art from my hands could
Play violin
instead of reliving sad memories and
Holding my breath in
While the words try and
Try to create something
That makes more sense than
Someone with delicate hands
Playing a violin
Aug 4, 2022
Aug 4, 2022 at 8:17 PM UTC