#unbearable
Tonight, Death found me quietly–
Not with scythes or cruel intent,
But like a shadow draped in silk,
Soft-spoken, almost heaven-sent.
He sat beside my weary bones,
As if he’d known me all my life,
Tracing silence through the air,
Reading every hidden strife.
“You called for me,” he whispered low,
His voice a hush, a fragile thread,
“I felt your sorrow bloom so loud,
It echoed through the realm of dead.”
I didn’t turn to face his gaze,
Too tired to pretend I’m strong,
“Then take me,” slipped from trembling lips,
“I’ve carried this pain far too long.”
He didn’t move. He didn’t reach.
No cold embrace, no final breath,
Just fingertips upon my grief–
A gentler kind of death.
“You are not mine,” he said at last,
“Not yet, not while your heart still bleeds,
For pain is proof you’re still alive,
And life still clings to fragile needs.”
“But I am tired,” I begged the dark,
“My soul is frayed, my hope is thin–”
“And still you ache,” he answered me,
“That means there’s something left within.”
He rose like dusk slipping from dawn,
A quiet ache where he once stayed,
“And when your time is truly yours,
I’ll come– but not because you prayed.”
He brushed my tears like fleeting mist,
Then left me with the night to keep,
Not as a curse.... but as a gift–
The stubborn right to wake from sleep.
♡ lil-usagi
Apr 13
Apr 13, 2026 at 11:09 AM UTC
I miss the days when we were together.
Are those days truly forgettable?
No, I'll remember them forever.
Losing you was regrettable.
But why did we even sever?
I thought our bond was unbreakable.
I believed you'd leave me never.
So why did you go? It's unbearable.
Jan 6
Jan 6, 2026 at 10:10 AM UTC
The Unbearable Winter’s mist
The winter’s mist,
peculiar,
the sky augurs
blue and sun mellow,
but clouded vision
begets and besets,
my own and owned
melancholy vision is
a consequential
snake like blurry speckled band,
of my own drawing,
covering my eyes,
when I read Márai‘s
wit, write, legal writ,
but with my corrected
add
of the
un
and my own self assigned
grade is a bright red
F
eye of the beholder
Life becomes unbearable
*”when one has come to
terms with who one is,
both in one's own eyes
and in the eyes of the world.
We all of us must come to terms
with what and who we are, and
recognize that this wisdom is not
going to earn us any praise, that
life is not going to pin a medal on
us for recognizing and enduring
our own vanity or egoism or
baldness or our potbelly. No, the
secret is that there's no reward
and we have to endure our characters
and our natures as best we can, because
no amount of experience or insight is
going to rectify our deficiencies, our
self-regard, or our cupidity. We have
to learn that our desires do not find
any real echo in the world. We have
to accept that the people we love
do not love us, or not in the way
we hope. We have to accept betrayal
and disloyalty, and, hardest of all,
that someone is finer
than we are in
character or intelligence.”*
Sándor Márai
Jan 10, 2024
Jan 10, 2024 at 2:36 PM UTC
the unbearable or the body as fiction
cold minds in cold hands and so we have
the remake of the fake
the power of looking and not seeing each other
tears are silent so silent are some words
poisonous smiles and innocence inbetween
"the unbearable lightness of being" a remix
time holds us in its merciful circles
the rest is a mystery, why I love you
Nov 24, 2023
Nov 24, 2023 at 12:05 PM UTC
Being the sun in your misery is dimming me
It’s parasitic
I used to see us symbiotically, I used to think we balanced each others sadness to reach mutual happiness
I was incorrect
Being the blood to your vampiric nature is draining me
It’s bloodsucking
I used to see us as co-unit, I used to think we were an equal part to each others madness and in turn we could reach sanity
I was mistaken
Being the floating device to your endless ocean is sinking me
It’s so heavy
I used to see us a lifeboat, I used to think we were carrying each other through the sea to reach the shore
You’re drowning me
Nov 23, 2023
Nov 23, 2023 at 9:47 PM UTC
Some pain is unbearable a burden that never seems to rest
How could I be cursed yet so blessed
Memories in my head
Things I can never seem to make clear
Steering from sober
I don’t know where I’ll end
So much on my mind
I can’t even think steady
Will I go back to normal
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready
I just know that I’m here and enduring this pain
A pain that has brought me so much shame
A pain felt deep within
Unlike anything I’ve ever felt
Worst than any burden I ever given or received
I just can’t cope with the thought of you not loving me
How can you think
How can you see anybody but me
So selfish to think I could have you all to me
Why does it hurt and make my mind run wild
I cannot control my thoughts I just wanna sit and pout
I thought I’d be stronger
I thought maybe it would hurt less
But the more I face my fears the more I realize
I realize things will never be the same
How could it?
How could it ever be the same
I just wish I could block out the intense feelings running through my brain
Thinking of intimacy not coming to me
So strange to say my love still never leaves
I don’t know if I deserve anything far from this
Everytime I look at you my mind instantly reminiscing
About all the good times of the past the pain that made us who we are now
5 years of blessings blessed to still be moving forward
I wish no pain like this on anyone cause now all I see is you
To be back in love
I don’t know what that would prove
I don’t know if we should unite I wish I knew what to actually do
Cause the truth is I’m still in love with you 😢
Oct 7, 2023
Oct 7, 2023 at 2:08 PM UTC
we fall, we run, we chase, we hide
make plans and make believes
we force our roots to ignore the cycles of decay
we fill our bodies with rush and dismay
we love and we are ready to die all
the symbolic deaths that ignore the traffic lights
just to just to just to just to
avoid the unbearable pain of being alive
Oct 2, 2023
Oct 2, 2023 at 7:30 AM UTC
this endless procession of luminous shapes of darknes,
of blindind lights full of dark stories passing through
everything my mind can envision
thoughts slowly growing like trees with imaginary roots
to dygest to recycle the unbearably bearable
a true psychic cosmology cause life creates
by destroying, destroys by creating
I need to examine my dreams, not the alphabet of dreaming
-symbolic transformation, not equation-
the terror to be so alive in an unresponsive world
it is pain that turns my thoughts into wax figures
I want to deny that words have a heart of stone cause they might deny their nature
in the beginning was the word, or the emotional field, the primeval soup of vibrations
you are not what you know, you are not what you perceive, you are the one to be felt and let go of
we are all that is unbearably bearable
May 16, 2023
May 16, 2023 at 5:43 AM UTC
it did not make
me stronger,
it made me break
in new ways
every single time
it trespassed,
it made me adapt
to itself,
camouflage it with its
very antithesis,
and when it had left,
it made me unable to
be the same person I was
before meeting it,
everything but it
felt unwarranted,
barely recognizable
unbearable.
Aug 24, 2020
Aug 24, 2020 at 4:26 AM UTC
Unbearable ****** wrenching pain is silence .
Some suffers by drowning in it ,
Some drown others to make them suffer.
Silence draws the life out of one , incessantly for years .
Silence creps into the heart .
When you think you're alone ,
Silence seeps through the cracks .
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 3:43 PM UTC
I'm tired of being told how to live my life
Every step I take is a stab with a knife
I should be able to live as I please
live my life to the fullest till I decease
I should be able to speak what I feel
And allow the pain to heal
But the pain stays there
Another burden to bear
The pain stays unbearable
And I slowly fade
I accept it as fate
But never truly accept
What torture you made my life become
The sorrows I had to try to overcome
Mar 7, 2020
Mar 7, 2020 at 10:43 AM UTC
It’s like hands around my throat,
or plastic around my head.
It’s suffocating with the words I wrote,
and the ones I had never said.
Dec 23, 2019
Dec 23, 2019 at 9:18 AM UTC
words, little do they seem to mean
for someone so big that not even one’s heart can bear
Dec 1, 2019
Dec 1, 2019 at 10:09 AM UTC
even after everything
if i could go back
to the first moment we met
i wouldn't run
from the heartache
i'd only tell myself
just how worth it
you were.
Jul 5, 2019
Jul 5, 2019 at 4:22 PM UTC
i said never again,
but maybe this time
you would be different.
maybe it would hurt less,
when you handed
my love back to me.
maybe we were still
made of stardust,
desperate for another chance
to make it.
wanting to do better,
to finish what we started.
but you walked out the door
and once again,
i'm left alone
with my ********* heart
and the unwavering need
to love that which can destroy me.
Jul 4, 2019
Jul 4, 2019 at 1:32 PM UTC
_
songs hurt
_
emotions flood my brain
I can't handle it
I used to not feel this way
songs used to lift my soul
_
but songs hurt
_
emotions claw at my brain
I can't do it anymore
I don't know when it happened
songs used to bring peace
_
but songs hurt
_
emotions metastasize like cancer
I can't even bear to think of it
I don't know how this happened
songs used to give me life
_
but songs hurt
_
and I can listen to them no longer
Apr 6, 2019
Apr 6, 2019 at 11:40 PM UTC
Little puppet was made
Like a fairy angel in shade
She was dressed in pink
And so was named Rosy in ink
Lime was her taste
Ants were her mates
Littering was her weakness
Loitering was her meanness
Eyes are red with blue *****
Life are blue with red falls
Ocean chiseled her heart
And purgation baked her to frost.
Now time has come for her
To let go off what is not hers.
But still the sculpture is busy
And her emotion is again in fussy.
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 4:48 AM UTC
Coming from the mouth of hate
A deep green ink tumbling out
With those **** red petals
Having been stained by the blood
Spilling into vile words of suffering
Twisting this way and that
As if alive- slithering into place
I would plunge the dagger
Deeper still into your chest
Turning it and slicing on either side
Until I could reach in and pluck
That beating ***** from the cavity
And hold it in my hand, so tenderly
Just as I always have been with you
And then crush it in between palms
Applying more pressure until
The pain is unbearable and then
Maybe you will have felt
What you've put me through
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 3:32 PM UTC
I've been holding back the tears
For years and trying to be strong
enough to hold this for so long.
Try to smile and understand
every situation just not to disturb
and cause any trouble to anyone.
And then that night I burst into tears
for I cannot hold it anymore,
and then he asked worriedly..
"Why are you crying?"
I keep on crying and crying,
heavily, I barely breath, then all I can say is,
"I don't know if you do understand me"
My tone sounds begging
for him to finally understand me,
the pain he unconsciously putting on me
And then he answered,
"Babe, I do understand you,
I just don't know what to do"
Now I don't know which
hurts me more,
The thought of he does not
actually understand the pain
that I am going through,
Or the fact that he knows
about it but doesn't care that much
that left him nothing to do
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 5:44 AM UTC
Blue skies with
No such clouds
Cool air from a
faint morning breeze
Though such beauty
The heaviness i feel
Weak flesh upon standing
The cold stone tightness
With arms in disarray
And the ticker
Just swollen
Sludge that demands
Always to exist
Feel just once more
To a light feeling mist
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 7, 2017 at 1:50 PM UTC
The heat
Is it outside
Or inside of me
Either way
It is becoming
Unbearable.
Apr 11, 2017
Apr 11, 2017 at 6:51 AM UTC
Is is okay, to hide the pain;
The pain that is buried deep inside my heart,
The pain that screams,
And tries to rip its way out of my heart that is its cage?
I tell myself;
“It's going to be okay just hide the pain, it go away sooner or later”
I smile,
I laugh,
I dance,
I sing,
I’m Happy, not really.
But it is okay to lie about this pain deep inside my heart
Because if I you told you all my dark secrets,
My fears, my pain,
Then you would never be the same;
You wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye’s,
You wouldn’t be able to figure out if I’m happy or sad anymore,
You wouldn’t know if I was lying or telling you the truth.
So I’ll keep this pain locked away, buried deep down,
Stitched down to my heart so it doesn’t reach my voice.
So don’t worry, don’t think,
I don’t want to tell you my pain,
So don’t ask, because I’m doing this all for your own safety.
Mar 9, 2017
Mar 9, 2017 at 5:28 PM UTC