#tumor
Visiting mother-in-law in another state
Her husband, a good son, mama‘s boy
The house was full with brothers and sisters
Drinking playing naked twister.
Mom stayed in her room, unable to get around
Trying not to make a sound
In fact, with all the children under foot,
She felt it best to stay put
Her children filed one by one into her room
To wish her love. Bring cheer to holiday gloom.
They decided to get her a tree
Because in her room she had to be
Unable to make it downstairs to the Den Hanging ornaments, remembering when
Daughter-in-law fit right in
Party Hardy Christmas daze
Brain fog in a haze
Went outside for a smoke
And a quick ****
An awkward Pivot and turn
Snow black, ice, slip and fall
Her bloodcurdling scream wake up all
The inertia of events in slow motion
She fell hard. She felt quick.
Lickety split
Straight on her face,
forget appearances, Social grace
Unconscious for a few minutes she came to
Partygoers didn’t know what to do.
She tried to stand, but passed out a second time
Coming to she was not in the right frame of mine
The right side of her face quickly, turn black blue
The eyes socket, cheek, the chin forehead, too.
She was confused didn’t know her name
This was not a reindeer game
911 ambulance came quickly through the night
Christmas Eve in the hospital diagnosis fight
Doctors judgment call
The question
what came first
The Brain Tumor or the fall
CAT scans MRIs to no surprise
A brain tumor in her head between her eyes
Back home California urgent tests,
CAT scan MRI takes months at best
Backlogged many patients, few machines
Hospital staff long hours work in their dreams
Rule out, Cancer or benign
The waiting game cancer or fine
Cancer This is not her first bout
She has her moments scream and shout
Breast cancer took her right breast out
Chemo decimated her body strength
Is she willing to go the duration the length?
She refused brain biopsy the same
With chemo treatment her feelings not tame
Secondary situations lymphedema remain
Simple movement insane pain
Too much in her head, she sits in bed
Each of her friends offer advice
She listens intently, but doesn’t think twice
She won’t tell any of her friends
For her, this maybe the means to an end
When is enough enough? No more Guff
Rock bottom perhaps she’s done
She told me she’s no longer having fun
Perhaps the last bout of Cancer won
Poked and prodded? morphine Dilaudid.
She needs help going to the bathroom alone
Difficult moving through house open door
She’s losing consciousness waking on the floor
Another fall another twist
A broken arm, broken wrist,
She no longer pretends to try
Angry no more tears to cry
She’s just glad for the life she can live
For finding a man with love to give
Fighting the demons of hatred and fear
Knowing that her time may be near
Inspired Songs
1) Live like you were dying 2004
By Tim McGraw
2) Ships that don’t come in
By Toby Keith late 2023 early 2024?
3)I will survive 1978
By Gloria Gayer
4) You’re Beautiful
By James Blunt
Mar 6
Mar 6, 2026 at 1:56 AM UTC
What is anger?
It’s a tumor,
It grows in your brain
Everything makes you angry,
Objects, people, animals,
It turns malignant
It makes you irrational,
Act in the heat of the moment,
It consumes you
This is anger,
You have to let go,
Be rational
Be safe.
Nov 7, 2025
Nov 7, 2025 at 12:17 PM UTC
It's like a parasite, the devil on your shoulder,
Whispering faults, lies, deceits,
Waiting to watch you fail, to watch you crumble,
To see you break
It’s always there in the palm of your hand,
The depths of your soul, the back of your mind,
When you’re shaking, there are no breaks, no reprieve
When you’re crying, sweating, it’s always there
Try as you might, to rid the feeling,
It’s too late, too developed, like a tumor ever growing
“It’s your fault” it says “Just speak” it says,
“You made another mistake” it says
It whispers in your mind, waits, stalks,
Until the right time comes then it strikes
It makes you care too much, too hyperaware,
The eyes watching makes it worse
The noises made, he smells, the touch,
What you’ve done wrong, how they feel about you,
It never leaves, it hides, goes invisible,
Just until the next chance to strike
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 1:03 PM UTC
When I grew up. I thought that to be respected, I needed to be strong. As hard as nails.
I believed that aggression was my friend, a friend that protected me from men.
Aggression was never a friend, just a women desperate for control. Over time she became a cancer, eating away at my sanity.
She brought chaos and raged storms when she was unsure of what to do.
When she is calm, she draws me detailed pictures of suicide and sings me sweet songs of deceit.
If only setting her free was something I was strong enough to do.
Sep 28, 2020
Sep 28, 2020 at 7:23 AM UTC
24 begins with its cruel rule:
"No sustenance or quenching of thirst
until the sad/happy day passes."
Caring women with initials enter
Poking, prodding, asking the same questions,
While loved ones nervously watch.
Close friends, friends, and strangers
Phone and visit, offering their comforting words.
"We love you." "We're praying for you."
"Make a pact with God." "Chin up!" "Happy Birthday!"
Their messages intermingle with disquieting thoughts
Of hopes and dreams left unfulfilled.
"Why me?" "What now?" "I knew it was too good to be true."
As hunger gnaws, and expectation is postponed.
A caring woman with initials enters one last time,
Poking, prodding, asking the same questions,
As the pushers of the bed arrive with their benign smiles.
Unwanted darkness returns,
As uncommon mortals work at their bizarre craft,
Opening the golden bowl,
Exposing its precious contents.
East and West Coast loved ones,
Separated by time and circumstance,
Carry on their prayerful vigil.
As 24 continues,
Surrounded by love,
Sustained by hope.
Oct 25, 2019
Oct 25, 2019 at 11:41 AM UTC
Cage affixed to my head
Needle stuck in my vein
You must not move an inch
My dear, you're still allowed to
Breathe.
Quiet, frantic heart.
You’re causing me to
Shake.
I know it’s strange and loud and dim
But listen. Hear that soft
Music
Dare you not sneeze
Or scratch that itch now
Rest your eyes, close your shutters
Lie still as a corpse, just one more half-hour
Bang. Crash. Wail.
Please stop, my skull aches
How cool the serum flows
Perhaps the music found my clothes
and ushered me on home
The doctor calls to me now - mouth dry
Let us discuss your brain.
Inside a tumor lies, no surprise,
Allow me to explain
This lump, it sleeps, 'tis quite petite
And most believably benign.
Mar 18, 2019
Mar 18, 2019 at 10:27 AM UTC
Trembling beneath my hands
If I could I would rip it out of you,
Your pain, your cries,
But the tumor metastasizes.
Tumor never die.
Tumor holding on tight,
Tight to the very foundation of our lives,
You.
You are everything,
The first and my last each day,
The distant prays all aimed towards you,
Let him be okay,
Trembling beneath my hands,
Holding tight unable to release,
The tumor clinging to you from beneath.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:25 PM UTC
I sang to you, my son, until I ran out of breath
And sang to you again as I gave you to death.
I've been stuck in house arrest
Because I've given you to death.
I declare my degree in your grief
But I sing to you...
"I-I-I have never lo-o-oved someone,
the wa-ay I love you-u-u"
A lament for your bending brain descent
With energy so pure, unsure and in the moment
With disorient movement on legs bent
Or were they wings?
It was hard to tell on the descent.
Yet, something eternal was created
At your birth and at your death
Your heart was too big for your chest
We wept together over it,
Over your death,
As there was no preparation for the separation
Your rotation of cognation
Gives formation to an ideation if...
You... You ever were
Or I... I ever was?
Disposessed words in the world we'd imagined
Obtained and ingrained love in our intestines
Our black will eventually turn to grey
The grey will one day go away
Just as blood dries and becomes sparks
It parks inside eyes to become stars
And the love we lasted long enough to receive
Becomes songs in energy I sing
From my throat
From my hand to your coat, I bathe you
I soak you with my love... a baptismal
... like never before and ...
As you drown under, you wonder
If you... You ever were
Or I... I ever was.
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 5:05 PM UTC
there is only melting
melting from one day to the next
melting into each moment, to the point where
i don’t realize i’m doing something until i’m almost done with it and asking myself
“how did i even get here, to the kitchen sink to wash these dishes i was going to wash five hours ago?”
and then i remember
i actually got out of bed and walked downstairs
i am losing my mind
it’s a sickness like a tumor on the side of my soul
Jun 2, 2017
Jun 2, 2017 at 12:09 PM UTC
Long ago love looked like romance
it held a subtle sheen of madness
Chaos and passion left in pair
Our beds lie oceans apart
My heart can't swim the carpet
In the night we camped the platform
I hadn't yet bought matches
as the smoke was yet to lick me
inside my virginal lungs
My heart grows tumescent, we
never sat close to view forever
in the dusk of violet July
To fulfill happiness fully
suppose we just kiss goodbye forever
and bare the carpet to cement
May some poor soul once more find
their face between too hairy legs
and with my chin I'd trace constellations
Sail our beds both furthest apart
Sail our beds into the dark
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 7:14 AM UTC
Her blood is cyanide
She cannot seem to hide
She is light as helium
She's strong as aluminum
She is graphite carbon
As subdued as boron
Abundant as hydrogen
But toxic as nitrogen
She's precious as platinum
Her skin is thallium
In her lungs there is radon
She is as rare as xenon
Helpful as iodine
Whose life is astatine's
She is soft as lithium
Her eyes are beryllium
There is nothing I can do
Already the tumor grew
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 6:57 PM UTC
Why does it happen to me?
Did the accident also give me a brain tumor?
The most common symptoms of brain tumors include headaches; numbness or tingling in the arms or legs; seizures, memory problems; mood and personality changes; balance and walking problems; nausea and vomiting; changes in speech, vision, or hearing.
I have all except seizures and nausea & vomiting.
I am already on Sodium Valproate and Valproic Acid controlled release tablets which are given to brain tumour patients as well.
My psychiatrist was so scared while asking my dad the last time we went for checkup, "Did he have seizures or vomiting?"
But I am not scared, I know that stuff can only get better for me. I have had enough of misfortune.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
I am covered
In scars
From tumors
And accidents
And me
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 4:45 PM UTC
Some days
They're just dreary
The sun outside-the clouds in your soul
But you see the world all too clearly
Through the shades
In your bedroom windows
Hiding away
From the pain
The lonely
The salty rain
His tumor
Seems to pound in your own skull
Causing a headache
-mostly fear-
And resisting the pull
To fall apart
Right along with him
His fades scars
Always a bleak reminder
He's not nearly as perfect
As he's seen-not so put together
He hides the long faded drawings on his arms
You hide too
From him-from everything
The food
The very kind she hasn't eaten
Knaws away at your stomach
Not enough words can be written
For her to know
How beautiful
How grown
She really is
So you hide
Because you're tempted to fall apart
But you stay strong
Because you want to save their hearts
You put down the scissors
Pick up the food
The pen
The phone
But still
You hide
Aug 4, 2014
Aug 4, 2014 at 7:29 PM UTC
Our world it bleeds
Anonymous faces are screaming
Cynicism grows like a tumor on our hearts
Our lives are constructed around our fears
We can't let our twisted Earth rule us
We can return the light to this world
Believe
Believe in yourself
Believe in others
And be free
Together we can take back our freedom
We need not be afraid
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC