#toxicrelationships
The covers surround me,
I'm encased in bed sheets.
My pillow so wet in tears,
As I drift away,
To my little world.
In my little world,
You are there.
My sweet.
My beautiful.
Friend?
It doesn't matter what we are,
As long as you're here.
Recently - It's awkward.
But you're still gentle.
Still here.
My view on you has really changed.
Hasn't it?
There's this small ember,
A flickering,
Flame of hope,
Just like the one on your lighter.
I cry to you.
Among these serene, delicate fields.
You listen.
No one gets me as much as you.
Is it really just forbidden love?
You're not cruel,
And I'm just relieved,
To be trapped in your presence,
In the miraculous,
In the divine,
I bathe in your light.
But,
It's all fantasy,
The dread summons me,
The grey pulls me out.
I can't look you in the face.
After that night,
So I retreat,
Away from your sight.
You've filled my life with empty lies,
Cigarette burns on my neck,
They sting,
Like your piercing cold stare.
Once,
You asked me,
"what if i were the devil?"
I hoped your kindness proved you wrong,
Instead,
You were right.
I try to fill your space in my heart,
Nothing fits as right,
Nothing binds together,
Nothing takes flight.
This is my hell.
You were right.
In my little world,
But no,
Here,
This is real.
You're just rotten to the core.
You have stabbed me in my very heart.
That is when,
My dear friends,
I return to this little world,
And hope to never return.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:38 PM UTC
Angry
You push me down
I get up
Apologize
Happy
You grab my arm
I hold your hand
Smile
Sad
You cry your tears
I’m there for you
Comfort
Proud
You brag to me
I pat you on the back
Congratulate
Calm
You sit down
I sit with you
Relief
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 11:18 PM UTC
You’re kind of funny, you know.
I wanted to stay in our home,
but you said
I was the one moving out—
because I chose separation.
You yelled at me
when we tried to fix things,
shouting that I should
pack my things
and walk away.
Now you’re the one moving,
asking if I want to live there.
Of course not.
I’m on another frequency now.
And yet you want me
to solve the problems
with the painting—
me,
the one you invited to leave.
Where’s your speech now?
You wanted the house.
So—
keep the house.
Sep 29, 2025
Sep 29, 2025 at 7:32 AM UTC
I never wrote poems about you.
No matter how hard I tried,
I never could seem to make
All the words flow.
Maybe that was the first sign,
That our love,
Was never meant to be.
Maybe that was the first sign,
I so delicately chose,
Not to read.
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 4:20 PM UTC
You called me crazy,
tired of my love.
But when I was gone,
my madness
was the first thing
you missed.
Oct 21, 2025
Oct 21, 2025 at 5:30 PM UTC
Dear—tell me,
do you really think
he loves you?
Until you appeared
out of nowhere,
he was still trying
to reconcile with me.
So no,
don’t believe him
so easily.
You are more of a filler,
a patch for the void.
He might post your photos
on Instagram,
call you family—
but you’ve been with him
for a month.
I was there
for seven years.
He won’t get over me
that fast.
He’s replacing one love
with another.
But maybe you’re just
a convenient body
to take to the gym.
So, my dear,
face reality:
he doesn’t love you
that much.
Oct 2, 2025
Oct 2, 2025 at 11:23 AM UTC
He took you
to meet his family.
He runs with you
on Sunday mornings.
He drives you around the city
in a car that, though he pays the bills,
still carries my name.
All these things
he once did with me.
He is suffering, darling.
I left.
I carved a hole,
a void in his life.
And desperate,
he found you.
Same body type,
same skin,
same hair.
The difference is—
you are older.
And they say older women
don’t have patience
for younger boys.
I hope
he doesn’t give you
too much trouble.
Oct 20, 2025
Oct 20, 2025 at 11:22 AM UTC
Has he already told you
to stop nagging?
Has he already said,
“Don’t start”?
Has he already begun
his ritual of silence
after a fight—
two days without a word,
without looking at you?
Worse still,
if you’re living
under the same roof.
He told me he was moving out,
asked if I wanted to live
in our old apartment.
But he already knows
I’m somewhere else,
living another life.
So I think he only wanted
to stir up conversation,
to awaken some kind
of concern in me.
Oct 19, 2025
Oct 19, 2025 at 10:16 AM UTC
Crying is part of it.
So is regret.
And yes—if it could ****
I’d already be dead.
But by my own hand,
not because he destroyed me.
(I wouldn’t give him
that pleasure.)
Aug 11, 2025
Aug 11, 2025 at 1:10 PM UTC
Because you never ask
or say anything
Can’t you see I’m suffering?
I’m a nobody to you
Well, at least in the end
I’m feeling something—
anger
Aug 11, 2025
Aug 11, 2025 at 9:58 AM UTC
in my writing anyone can tell i'm a fraud
just a painter trying their hand at a new form
composition swapped for sentence structure,
verses on pages where watercolors on canvases once laid
in your writing i can tell you're a fraud
you put words into your mouth, hope people believe them yours when they spill out
a performative emotional ventriloquist waiting for applause
i used to think writers romanticize and painters show,
after all you were my frame of reference when it came to poetry
but I’ve since learned you’re just not truly a writer
I put down the pencil and picked up the ink
and hey i'm not half bad but you’re not half good
i tried to speak your language not realizing you didn’t know it either
kept handing you words you could rewrite into warnings
come to think of it you never tried to speak mine,
never tried to translate me, never grabbed charcoal
and maybe it's for the better,
you would have smudged it around to cover up who i am
you mime meaning and call it understanding,
i was wrong in mistaking your performance for presence
maybe you being a **** writer wasn't all bad, if it kept me from the monster you actually believed i am
maybe you being a **** writer is why i too fell in love with the version of me you crafted, she’s a little less ruined
the more i look back the more things i notice, more things to write about
like how your poems were never directed at me,
i was not the audience you were pandering too because you knew you already had me hooked,
no, instead you wrote to another public,
I was a character in your songs you could show off, let people pick and ****
made me into a myth, a tale parents tell their kids to scare them into sleep
you were my muse and the person i was trying to reach with my strokes
not realizing there was no heart to reach for
so i write now and you still don't paint,
if you did i think you’d be bad at it anyway
you’d hate cubism, seeing more than one perspective seems to fracture your mind
and you’d find a way to romanticize it all, put reality aside
you never were good at taking things at face value,
even worse at translating and encompassing things bigger than you
I was the stars but knowing you, you’d just paint a blank black sky, add your own galaxies to and call it a piece worth while
either way i still write, usually about you, always directed at you
i find new words and try to rewrite the story you told,
but if i ever show the public I’ll be sure to make it an illustrated book with all the imagery i know you can't paint
Jun 25, 2025
Jun 25, 2025 at 5:02 PM UTC
the ghost of my devotion stood on trial for you,
role of lawyer in place of victim taken in stride, in strife
i stood by your side fighting for your name while you tore mine down in exchange
i pleaded to the court not realizing the judge and jury had my face
self defense, i claimed
pointed to the scratch on your chest i had left
the one from trying to reach for your heart,
the one for which a bandaid would have been enough
i remember marking you first, remember feeling criminal for it
brazed for life sentence, but still kept gauze ready to treat it like a bleeding artery
there was so much blood in my hands i mistook for yours
drips down my wrists dry and forgotten, blood i recognize now as my own
i hurt you and you killed me, made it look like my own doing
all is fair in love and war. was my excuse
i think they’re one, the way they wound, inevitably
my argument fell apart when the accusant lawyer came forth with the autopsy and sad eyes strikingly like my own
blunt force trauma, mismatched gashes and cuts
post mortem wounds, bruising all over
what you did to the body, after the fact, that was irredeemable
your cruelty kicked and punched, a trail of evidence of hatred undeniably left behind
Jun 25, 2025
Jun 25, 2025 at 4:54 PM UTC
He picked up the fruit, mistook the shine for something familiar
Thought the crimson red meant safety
a comfort food he remembered from childhood
Hungry and eager, tongue sliding over lips
he popped it into his mouth
biting down hard
expecting raspberries’ familiar flood
But the sound of something breaking met him instead
A tooth chipped on the cherry pit
It was a cherry after all
Starvation had blurred his sight
He thought I was soft, sweetness of an old friend
But I was never raspberries
He just never looked long enough to know
The illusion shattered in his mouth
iron taste instead of tartness
He spat it out, blood and juices mingling
bone and pit, both broken, indistinguishable now
He walked away, changed but not beyond repair
red-stained hands already reaching for another low-hanging fruit
too desperate to clean before, too desperate to care,
too starved to seek fruit he might like more
The cherry lay behind, torn and spent
pit smashed, flesh split wide
In time, the earth will cover it
The water will nurture what remains
Years will pass, roots will sprout
The cherry blossom will rise strong again
And in the branches
more cherries will grow
sweeter than they ever were before
Jun 25, 2025
Jun 25, 2025 at 4:49 PM UTC
I was handed fists
for as long as I can remember.
My curiosity—squashed with screams.
I didn’t learn the alphabet—
it was beaten into my ribs.
I didn’t hold hands.
But their grip was tight enough
to remind me I’d never leave.
I’ve been property since conception,
just signed over with a new lease.
My tears were never wiped—
they were smacked off my face. You must swallow all emotion or you're a disgrace.
I was to speak when spoken to and never out of turn. What happens at home stays at home and no one else should learn.
It wasn't a phase mom- daughters marry men like their dads. Though I came pre-etched in rules there was a new ruler to be had.
I was handed fists,
my whole life,
disguised as loving encouragement
to be better.
How was I to know you don't have to yell to show passion?
Jun 10, 2025
Jun 10, 2025 at 9:18 AM UTC
You put on your glassy mask
So I'll only see
The version of yourself
You contrived for me.
You slip on your suffocating shoes
So you can walk on
Like you're not gasping for air,
And nothing is wrong.
You tie up your hair tightly
So you can pretend
You're that pretty little girl again
With those once loyal friends.
You slide up your dejected glasses
So I can't see your bleeding scars
Hiding behind the facade—
I don't know who you really are.
Apr 28, 2025
Apr 28, 2025 at 9:05 PM UTC
Does a thick woman ever feel her patience wearing thin, while
her man wears a beard, ready to take her every mood by the chin?
He’s dating a girl named Erin, who hates it when he cuts his hair,
and runs errands. She made him ink a tattoo on his neck, declaring,
“property of Erin’s,” then she decided to shave her head, but she's
now wearing a wig— _a real bold choice._ While her man is plagued
by countless voices, but he himself, doesn’t have much of a voice.
She swiftly cleans up her act for the public eye – _she's a minute maid,_
with a juicy figure that could turn any man to pulp; and she’s also
self-made. And he’s like an empire of ants, bearing more than his
own weight. But he’s not much of a saint, his mischief thrives when
she’s far away, and it can never wait. He keeps a side piece as a
thought to chew on, always clearing off his plate.
They picture a relationship, but lack the means to truly relate –
just a ship; claiming they’re on the same boat; _being each other’s
bait._ “Plenty of fish in the sea,” but they leave hooks in one another,
after they hook up. Never pausing to Google for their worth; it’s right
there, just look up– to the writing on the wall. "We’re all crumbling
on each other"; if these walls could speak. As countless feet trample
on each other’s toes, in these crowded streets of Love, we seek.
Paved in toxicity – a toxic city, where toxic lovers inhale toxic fumes.
Easily fuming when being called out; the headlines of these daily
romances, all spell bad news.
Apr 14, 2025
Apr 14, 2025 at 4:10 AM UTC
You have damaged me very badly
Ensuring that I hate you madly
You have caused me a lot of emotional trauma
By being a queen of sheer drama
You pretended to love me as a friend
Instead, did you trap me in a toxic bond!
You have damaged me very badly
Because, you were only after my money
You are much worse than an enemy
Because, never did you truly want me to be happy
You have caused my self-esteem to crash
For that, you, should God punish!!
You have damaged me very badly
And may be thinking coolly
That you are now going to have a great life
But I warn you, you are going to be in strife
You will get divorced soon
And find yourself alone
Ignored by almost everyone
Finally, will you know then
What it means, to be betrayed
By someone you dearly trusted
Well, now I totally hate you
But I will eventually forgive you
Only because of my love for Jesus
And then I will finally find my inner peace
But you will never find yours
Goodbye and good riddance!!
Apr 5, 2025
Apr 5, 2025 at 11:38 AM UTC
People warned me,
turned against me,
said I was a fool.
Yet you I trusted
but now that's busted.
Still my love overrules
And I don't wanna ****
something so divine.
Who knew I could have
so much love inside?
Even through all the suffering,
for you I’d still give anything.
You’ve turned my care into a curse,
my offer of aid into a disgrace.
You're always messing with my mind,
sabotaged all I tried to rebuild.
Now I lie in bed alone
clinging to all you left me.
I still look for your attention
and I have cried so much
over your wandering affection,
over how I miss your touch.
Tell me how can I move on
when I’ve loved you so wholly?
But I don't wanna ****
something so divine.
Highly doubt I could
even if I tried.
I’ve held on so tightly
though it’d suffocate me.
But even through all the suffering,
for you I would do anything.
Feb 23, 2025
Feb 23, 2025 at 7:21 PM UTC
I promised you I would always stay,
swore on a bond I thought would never break.
Then there came a time everything conflict
but I meant every word, every bit of it.
I can still remember myself say
That I’m with you, all the way.
I held on so tightly, refusing to let go,
my heart cracking wildly with every push-pull.
I found myself drowning in all that I know,
but I’m not one for giving up. No, I stay faithful...
I do everything that I can to lift you up.
I give anything without ever planning to stop.
And then for a moment, when I’m left alone with my dreams,
a voice pipes up asking, what about these?
And what about
me?
I march and stagger onward, far under the stars
Carrying the weight of two broken, battered relationships
and a big heavy heart that’s covered with scars.
Who ever knew it would come to this?
Vengeful memories haunt me in the night
And I pray all this pain and suffering will finally subside,
Yet for you I’ll still stand strong.
Even worn out, I’ll keep holding on.
Yes I’ll BURN alight
in hopes of winning your fight.
Feb 22, 2025
Feb 22, 2025 at 12:37 PM UTC
Why do you do this?
Twist my choices until they vanish,
your words, soft but cruel, carving into my flesh,
each one deeper, more suffocating than the last.
You blackmail me with your pain,
threats hanging like nooses,
slowly tightening around my neck.
You said you’d end everything,
if I didn’t surrender to your darkness.
Do you even see me,
not as your shattered reflection,
but as someone slowly being erased,
drowning in a life I can’t escape?
I know you're sinking,
but why drag me down with you,
burying me beneath your weight?
I need you to hear me—
to release me before I’m lost entirely,
because if you can’t,
I’ll break, and you’ll have killed me too.
Dec 28, 2024
Dec 28, 2024 at 10:50 AM UTC
don’t say you love me, not when i have the flesh pieces of my own heart stuck between my teeth after you shoved it back into me. when will i learn that i cannot force someone to let me love them? when will i learn that just because i feel the chest-caving need to save someone, doesn’t mean i should?
Nov 5, 2024
Nov 5, 2024 at 4:02 AM UTC
it feels like a cruelly sick sense of humor, a twisted joke and i’m the punchline. how does one explain the irony, the contradiction of running from you yet chasing after you all at once? i’m chasing down your memory and the what ifs like malt liquor, it burns my throat and i mistake it for your hands only for the taste to settle in and i push two fingers down my throat because i need to purge you out but i should have known its not like that, you arent food, but i’ll try anyways because your residue is haunting me but i can’t help but keep visiting your grave.
Nov 5, 2024
Nov 5, 2024 at 4:03 AM UTC
I’m hiding,
Yes, I’m hiding,
Been locked in here for twenty, maybe more,
Trying to fix the mess that I carry to the core.
Everyone’s in the living room,
Laughing, dancing to some happy tune.
But me?
I’m stuck in this silent space,
A crowded house, but I’m lost in my own place.
I’m trapped in this maze, my mind’s own maze,
A prisoner of these long, lonely days.
Silent screams that no one hears,
Louder than the laughter just beyond here.
I’m here, but I’m gone, present but erased,
A crowded house, but I’ve lost my place.
They’ve shown me love, or so they claim,
But behind my back, I hear my name.
Whispers slither like snakes through the cracks,
I know they act, just keeping me intact.
They smile wide, but their eyes are dry,
Maybe they care, or they don’t—but it’s all a lie.
Knock Knock
“Hey, you alright?”
“Erm, I’ll be out soon, give me a sec, it’s alright…”
But is it really?
‘Cause I’m tired, truly tired,
Of fighting fires and battling demons dancing in my head,
Of faking smiles when I feel dead.
Every relationship falls like the one before,
Each one shattered my heart like glass.
I’ve given all, there’s nothing left to give,
Now, I just exist, but don’t know how to live.
They think I’m fine, that I’m still the same,
The happy boy, the bright-eyed flame.
The one who danced, who laughed, who shone,
Who carried the weight of the world like it was his own.
But the truth is, now, I’m shattered, split, and splintered,
Like a mirror that has been dropped,
And every time I pick it up, the pieces never lock.
Once a sunbeam, now just smoke,
A fading laugh, a forgotten joke.
See, I used to be the boy who bubbled with joy,
Now I’m the man that misery employs.
I’m the punchline to jokes never told,
I’m the shadow that hides in the bold.
I used to shine, used to soar,
Now I’m just trying to survive the war.
Bright smiles buried beneath the grime,
The clock keeps ticking, but I’m out of time.
They’re waiting for me to come cut the cake,
But how can I slice when it’s all just fake?
I’m hiding in here, plotting an escape,
Maybe I’ll slip through that window, leave no trace,
Run to a place I’ve never known,
But even there, this weight’s my own.
What do I want? I don’t even know,
Love? Maybe? But trust? It won’t grow.
It’s like carrying mountains on my back,
All this baggage from scars.
Knock Knock
“You coming out?”
Yeah… I guess I’ll go out.
Put on the smiley mask.
Open the door,
And I shout—
“Heeeyyyy! Let’s turn it up, let’s shout!”
They cheer, they dance, think I’m alright,
But in this mask, I’m not here.
Oct 22, 2024
Oct 22, 2024 at 10:16 PM UTC
You made me feel lonely
What you did was very ugly
I loved you and you cheated on me
In fact, you BETRAYED me
Because of you, did I go into depression
Very very wrong, were your actions
Thanks to them, greatly did I suffer
For me, not even one bit did you care!
You made me feel lonely
I thought you were lovely
How cruelly did you prove me wrong
My suffering was quite long
You drove a wedge into my heart
And tore it apart!!
You made me feel lonely
And treated me very badly
Thanks to you, did my self-belief shatter
Because, you struck at my very core
Sending shockwaves all over my soul
And effectively trapping me in a prison cell!!
You made me feel lonely
While you played a game coolly
Trying to destroy my relationships
With my family and my best friend
And trapping me in a toxic relationship
Which seemed as if it would never end!!
You made me feel lonely
But I came back strongly
Thanks to my sister and my best friend
To your twisted games, did they put an end
You tried to break me
But my goodness set me free
While you will eternally feel guilty
For your treachery and infidelity
Yes, you made me feel lonely indeed
However, from the trauma have I recovered
And learnt a lesson for life
Goodbye forever, my "poor little" ex-wife!!
Sep 14, 2024
Sep 14, 2024 at 1:07 PM UTC
The small red balloon is very fragile.
It has already been hurt and weakened, and is wary.
It does not trust other balloons, or any objects for that matter.
It already has opened up in the past, and it did not end well.
The small red balloon does not trust others.
However, one day, it let a small pin join it.
The small pin hurt the balloon.
It felt like a sharp stab to the back.
However, the balloon couldn’t live without it.
It knew so.
It had to be true.
If the red balloon was separated from the pin, it would air out.
It doesn’t want that.
Over the next few months, the balloon and the pin grew closer.
Even if it pained the balloon, it did not want to hurt the pin,
Even if the pin hurts it.
The balloon hated the pin so much.
But it also loved it.
The pin was blocking a hole in the balloon’s body.
If it didn't, the balloon would die.
Even so, the pin was the one who made that hole.
Eventually, the pin started to grow apart from the balloon.
The balloon was scared and sad.
It didn't want to be alone.
It couldn’t be alone.
It knew it would be its end.
One day, the pin started to speak about another balloon.
A green one.
That hurt the balloon.
A lot.
Eventually, the pin left the balloon.
The balloon couldn't take it.
It was slowly dying.
It tried to patch the gap in itself, but in vain.
No matter how many band-aids it used, it kept growing.
Each time it saw the pin and the green balloon together, it hurt.
But it also felt bad for the green balloon.
It knew the same would happen to it.
It tried to warn it, but was pushed away.
Eventually, the red balloon was no more.
All of its helium had long left.
All that remained was an empty husk.
It couldn’t even float anymore.
Meanwhile, its contents floated up.
They reached the heavens, and remained there.
Even as their body was dying, they were peaceful.
They knew the pin would never get to them here.
Even though they missed others back down,
They were happy.
But even if it pained them, they missed the pin as well.
Even after all it did to them,
They loved it.
They loved it.
They loved it.
They loved it.
They loved it.
They loved it.
They loved it.
They loved it.
They…
Apr 25, 2024
Apr 25, 2024 at 11:28 AM UTC