#towards
The struggle is over—
Forevermore free
from being drained by conflict.
Self-destruction mode
cancelled, instead calling out
for a new way.
The need to become anyone,
anywhere, at any time—
Abandon it to the sea.
This fragile vessel,
bobbing on waves of anguish,
has anchored itself.
Rest arrives slowly,
surrendering to depth and time,
allowing the storm to pass.
Seasonal affective identities,
captured by grace,
and blessed by peace.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 5:17 AM UTC
Did you wake up?
I was thinking...
we have been cuddling each other from different spaces,
from different distances,
and we do not speak.
Just feel the warmth of our bodies,
in a sense that we just need each other.
We do not need the brains.
We do not need the feelings.
We don't even need the greetings.
We don't talk all day,
we don't talk all night.
Only when it's needed.
Only when we need something from each other.
And time has passed.
It has been years.
Wondering what made us come close.
Even the ask for *** is not there anymore.
But we just want to make sure
that we continue to see each other in front of us.
It's just like a mirror.
It's just like a sesame.
It's just like a sense of presence that is required.
That is where we find peace.
So that the heart is not broken.
One breaks at the other.
It's confusing.
We've had a lot of questions to ask.
We ask each other—
What's going on?
What happened?
What can we do?
What have we done so far in these years?
How have we survived each other?
And once we were done with the questions,
now we don't ask anymore—
Why?
Why do we still argue?
Why have we not lost connection?
Why have we not lost access or address for each other?
What is it?
Is it that we're looking for closure?
The acceptance is not there now.
We are busy with priorities,
life calamities—
some including us,
some excluding us.
And some thoughts intruding,
blocking an overview.
We have never made this far—
it's a thought that I sometimes wonder.
But I still feel,
or I felt,
or I thought—
whatever you name it—
that it might be necessary
for the heart,
or for the brain,
or for time
to go through with it.
Go through with it,
and see how far we've come.
And also because the mistakes I made
through the journey without you—
maybe I would have never done,
or I would have never taken those steps.
You might have just tolerated me,
but still—
I would have felt protected,
because you dominated my feelings,
and that's what I needed at that moment.
But I failed.
I failed to understand me.
I failed to understand everything around me.
I needed patience.
I had to just take care of being anxious.
Well, I'll go now.
It's not good.
And I see that you are sleeping without expression,
so you might not be dreaming at the moment—
but likely, you've been tired.
Tired long enough
that your body forced you to go to sleep.
But you continue to spend nights awake,
worrying about your feelings.
Not worrying about someone else,
but just worrying about your feelings,
thinking—
how can I protect and savor myself from being vulnerable?
And that is making you stronger.
That is making you ruthless.
Know that there is no other choice
but to create a thick skin,
a boundary,
let go of me—
even though I'm just skin to skin with you.
Because I just don't exist beyond the dreams anymore.
It's likely that you're done with your questions.
You're done with the confusion that you already had.
And that has made you understand
that you had nothing to do with the break.
And we're done asking what is at stake.
I've taken other responsibilities,
which I accept—
you go through with your life.
I'm not thinking about the people that you love,
but just probably surviving,
wondering about the people that love you.
And I'm grateful to them,
and grateful that being around you
has been more important.
Maybe that is all there is now
Jun 20, 2025
Jun 20, 2025 at 3:20 PM UTC
Blue coloured eyes she has ,
which takes me away from this
colourful world into the depth of the blue sea ,
indicating the depth of her love and affection towards me.
Talkative eyes she has ,
which takes me away from this noisy world into the depth of the conversation ,
indicating the depth of her care and thinking towards me.
Shining eyes she has ,
which takes me away from this glamour world into the depth of the shining stars in the sky ,
indicating the depth of her hope and expectations towards me.
Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 2:41 AM UTC
do you stop and wonder
why youre always so empty
but did you try to look for answers
or you just always let it be;
a storm with its quiet thunders
if you say you're happy
why do you feel just cracks
instead of smiles
pacing in the wrong places
trying to fill in those empty spaces
make your heart walk
and let the feet talk
May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 12:52 PM UTC
Running makes me obscure
like the lone wind on a shallow shore
limbs rumbling
heart clenching
I feel alive.
.
.
.
Mehek
May 5, 2019
May 5, 2019 at 7:07 AM UTC
I am a bubble fluctuating
On its way to the surface, evaluating
How it will be to be one with sky again, once I am out of the sea
I’ll be bursting free and culminating into a timeless cloud
Into the air which was always meant to be me
Yes, towards the surface I go to be free
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 9:11 AM UTC
In life you go through changes
You can either grow with them
Or you can stay the same
No matter what you gotta grow and maintain to make change
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 4:16 PM UTC
The vast expanse
is worrisome.
The search is futile,
in the end is all very foolish.
Knowledge allows the proposition
that there’s a lot we’ll never know.
While ignorance is loud and obnoxious,
completely unaware of it’s shortcomings.
The struggle
takes place in between.
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 15, 2018 at 8:58 PM UTC
Reach into the nothingness
Like a warm breath slipping into the cold night
Hands outward, eyes open, upwards towards the sky
Embrace the silent subtle voice
Which hides behind the daily routines
But is no less mindfully alive
Cast images onto the fog itself
Until you've seen the many dreams which you've procured for yourself
In this cloudy life
Breathe with the forgetfulness of evey waking step
As you amble through these miles set
With jawline firm and eyeline slight
Smile at the passing sight of another universe in tow
Which ambles by and out of view
As your inward story comes alive
And live not in line with every Crow on any high wire
But fly as if there were no tomorrow in your quiet sigh
Upwards and towards the sky
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 12:59 PM UTC
Fold you up like unwanted fat
cook you into a rocky stew
placed beneath a mantle of ice
far enough away to be misconstrued
You are old laminated time
And pillowed rock of incomprehensible
Earlier than any lime
Or sand, or sediment, or any kind
You are the grandfather rock
of mine
When I step with my inconsequential feet
living but transiently
I cannot help but be erased
that even you hath but one resting place
All the plants
and sands
and ever since the very first
we have always been ******
to this earth
walking upon your bones
I am sorry we cannot do more
but you know your creator
Speak in the same language
in amalgamators
of which we have forgot
and for that I can say
we are envious; are we naught?
Build softly, and carry us upon your thick
crust like pizza dough, cooking
and you let it sit
Let us win, set us up
drift us apart, leave us crushed
build us,
make us,
break us,
fill us
I want to be restored into your
stony belt and be redeemed
I want to become my own atomic fossil
to connect with the universe through long-lost
plotholes
and once again
hear the story
as a young lad
the way it was meant to be told
I want to eat dinner with my grandfather again
my real sweet stony-chiseled cheeked
father again
to be loved a boy
and a girl
and the whole world
a soul touched back into the deep
left unshackled
by a ***** or a queen
please,
take me back soon
rather than let me turn into
Laurentia
or Baltica
or Gondwana
alack
smacked into new rock to form
Urals
and Tetons
and Moher
back
Carbonate or Silicate,
and the end its the same
It won't be the end
for that fate rearranged
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 2:08 AM UTC
in 12 hours exactly
life will take a new turn
i hope it's finally
towards happiness
-- Watercolour
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 11:18 PM UTC
Everything about you and everyone you know
What you had for breakfast and where you plan to go
Who you call and what you say and precisely where you are
Every visit to the doctor, the mileage on your car
The books you like, the food you buy, the bloggers that you read
How much you gave to charity, your attitude to ****
Every contact, every text, every on-line search
The way you dress, the way you walk, the last time you went to church
No none of this is private now; you're an information source
Of interest to the agencies of order, law, and force
It's for the common good - no really! Can't you see?
And this discussion now, it's over; it's about security
And while we're on the subject, someone really oughta
Keep an eye on her next door; at least until we've caught her
And be mindful what you wish for, now thought-crime's here to stay
But hey! It's Britain not North Korea! Just mind how you go, OK?
Oh you have to hand it to the creeps - they've diligently been sifting
Not through your bins or bank account when ALL your data lifting
They've no need for tricks or subterfuge since you handed them the keys
You let them in unwittingly, and at the time, were pleased
So now you're pinned and wriggling on their glass one-way wall
You've no more secrets hidden 'cos you've given them them all
Privacy is dead and buried, too late now for bereavement
You slaughtered it yourself: End User Licence Agreement
It's too late too for tin-foil hats, too late to complain
And anyway, how would you? You've forfeited this game
Join the Twitterati? Start a Facebook page?
Tell your mates on WhatsApp? All adds more padlocks to your cage
P'raps best not to think too much about it; Yes that's the easy call
Lie back and LOL at kittens, watch Gogglebox, but actually think sod all
Yes buy your Funeral Insurance – it's acquired a curious appeal
And accept, why not, the Kardashians might actually be real
With opinions now as changeable as your boxer shorts
Grey and saggy throwaways, masquerading as your thoughts
You got the lot in Primark's sale, with your knickers and your socks
And you feel freer now than ever, inside your tiny airless box
And that's the way we like it; your illusion of control
Costs us little and lets us rule you in body, heart and soul
So make no waves, do not stand out, enjoy your bread and games
Don't try to dodge the system or we'll cast you to the flames
“Nothing to hide, then nothing to fear” is something you've no doubt heard
But those who shout it loudest know best that it's absurd
So peer behind the curtain, examine every single word
Because you know they've cracked it... yes finally cracked it...
The polishing to perfection - to immaculate, flawless, gleaming perfection - of
Every
Single
****
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 6:35 AM UTC
You can't understand
What I go through
Do what you can
But I'm in love with you
I don't know
How you feel
But you should
How can you be real
These feelings
Are killing me slowly
Emotions are healing
I hope you think of me
Aug 4, 2015
Aug 4, 2015 at 11:45 PM UTC
One more step closer
is heartache
One step back would
be regret
I'll just stand here,
confused
I don't know what else to do...
I can no longer
breathe...
I can no longer
move...
Just take a step towards
me
Then I'll gladly step towards
you
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 10:59 AM UTC
It's the first day of summer heat.
Temperature is one hundred and four.
The junkies and drunks hit the street,
shufflin' towards death's door.
Freon raindrops fall from air conditioners
that hang from windows on the third floor.
I think "this day couldn't be finer",
as I shuffle towards death's door.
Bicycle tires roll over broken glass
from the shattered window of a store.
The prostitutes all congregate beneath the overpass,
as they shuffle towards death's door.
**** smoke fills the air
as I finish off beer number four.
A chance to put my mind elsewhere,
as I shuffle towards death's door.
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 9:20 PM UTC
I get the crust and the gristle of a thistle once a missile shooting out into the sky and I cry, wonder why. Never sure what I feel for the meal of a deal and then words more like air slip the breeze in my hair, butterflies in the skies killing what kept my alive. Oh too bad, well how sad, if the songs last lines din't matter it'd harm, it'd make the soul so very mad. Here I fall, there I stand like a robot dancing to the tunes. It's demand. Hear I laugh, hear I cry. I hear the screams and feel the burn, so why? Why unsure, of what's telling me my life is so impure. Threatened heart, from the strings that wrap it, tearing it apart. Feel the clench of a bundle of what you yourself have drench and so benched. And you threw to me the horror show, I never so have thought would reckon me to be. I, to be, it's master and it's longing family, here I cry. Hear "I" cry. For I exist in heart, but never, not in mind. There I stand once again as a memory of all that I pretend. If I tried, to be real, the pieces fall apart inside. So I hide, then I quiver and I shake as 'me' is inside. I can touch to the shelter covered in the unbelieving, underachieving to be who I know I am to be. Or at least what you see. I crush the old me and start anew, though I grew. I, immortal to myself have stomped the true. And I become something greater than simple little shrew. Do not lie! For I see with one eye, the look through me. What you see is a host, not the ghost, that lives on. "Awh, look at me. I'm so strong!" Laugh along. Child there. Where? Oops, forgot to care. Now I stare, towards the end that's never ending like this script. Never ending. Twist and bending. Don't kid me, I'm no kid. I'm the body of a youth, but I am dead. I've destroyed myself, if others didn't do a perfect job. Hold up stop! I'm letting go, a bubble that will pop. It will burst, destroying me, if it doesn't **** me first. Here I stand. Hear I cry. There I go. I have died.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 1:09 PM UTC