#tossed
What have I gained?
What have I tossed?
What has been the actual cost?
All of this pain
A heart of frost
None of it worth what has been lost
©2024
Aug 7, 2024
Aug 7, 2024 at 9:24 PM UTC
My grandma's hands,
My mum's lap,
My dad's chest,
Were ideal pillows,
But, my pillow,
My bedfellow,
My partner of crimes,
In all my emotional times,
Has a story to tell.
Night is when she lets go,
I, the pillow bear the blow.
I get tossed, thumped and battered when she is angry,
And when she is full of joy,
I am smooched with hugs,kisses
and cuddles,
When she is sad,
I witness her pain,
She can fool anybody but not me,
Her tears pour out on me ,
I am drenched,
At last she falls asleep,
Curled into a ball, hugging me tightly.
I smell of her, I love her,
I understand the pain of her tears,
The ecstasy of her laughter,
And all her secrets I hold within me.
She and I, forever together.
11/2/2019
Feb 12, 2019
Feb 12, 2019 at 5:34 AM UTC
1/8/18
6:53 PM
You didn’t have to verbalize the fact that you were leaving me.
It’s like I had a feeling that something was wrong
Everything had been fine one minute.
Then the next you sent me a paragraph
Word for word explaining your feelings and how you really felt towards me
I’ll never forget how you honestly truly hurt me emotionally.
by saying some of the things you said
One thing that hurt me the most was how you truly never cared about me
Only telling me what you thought would soothe my questioning
Distracting me from the real issue which was that I was used
Effortlessly and without a care in the word
You truly played me like a fiddle.
I think my favorite lie that you told to me.
is how you wanted to meet me offline
Let’s be realistic for a minute.
It wasn’t going to happen.
I wanted it so badly to happen.
But in a way I was glad that it didn’t when I realized how much you used me
Why would I want to be with someone who truly didn’t accept me for me?
During the time that it all occurred
I thought I was upset and sad knowing that we never worked out.
looking back I’m so glad that It didn’t
You are one of the many lessons in life.
one out of many
Teaching me not to trust
- when I think about how you hurt me
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 5, 2018 at 5:59 PM UTC
like an old used
dish towel tossed aside
like nothing at all
just hanging there
waiting to fall
stripped from love
rinsed with pain
absorbing the hurt
out comes the rain
what happened to just
leave me behind
there is no answer
to comprehend this
residue I find
Oct 12, 2016
Oct 12, 2016 at 5:24 PM UTC
Tossed.
Casually-with ease. No second thought?
Maybe. But this I won’t ever know. Don’t need to-but want to.
That I, human, sensitive, feeling, committed, invested, involved, sacrificed.
And you, nonchalant, aloof, robotic, hard- a stone man.
Well, that is the tint through which I see you.
Once were. What exactly was it in the end? I don’t know.
Caught? Convenient? Comfortable?
And I, the wilted flower of once was. Memories slipping, falling, petals dripping from a tap left slightly open.
As is my heart- slightly open. Healing- but still bleeding.
And yours, is it tightly shut? Forever?
Seems so.
You stone man, with your clamped heart, wounds stitched- no bleeding here.
And I, tossed.
Casually-with ease.
Fresh water, new flowers. One, two, three?
And I, waking each morning. Slowly stretching, growing, leaf-arms reaching to the rays which are my hope, my optimism, my little nurse.
Slowly.
I cannot catch up to you, so quick.
But I choose not to. Time is precious and it’s mine. Now, I am not ready. My heart is soft, fragile, gentle.
It will be alright, stitched, whole-soon.
But now, in this moment, this small stretch of time, it is not.
When I feel replaced.
Tossed.
Casually-with ease.
Jun 30, 2015
Jun 30, 2015 at 7:19 AM UTC
I wrote him a note
That said,
I am leaving.
And he tossed it
To the bin
And said,
I must be dreaming.
F.Z.N
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 4:32 PM UTC
I was just an obsession to you
A hobby, a toy
That you could play with one day
exploit all of its wonders
see what it could give to you
And the next day just casually toss in a shadowy attic
To be forgotten
To be found far in the future
Old, and dusty
Not broken, just dark from disuse
and abandonment
This is what you thought of me
This is how you treated me
Like a novelty, a child's toy
I can't believe I fell for your casual ways
The way you made me feel special
But I was never special
I was just another brief obsession of yours
A curiosity
I drew your attention, piqued your interest
But now you've found a new toy to play with
And I'm left here collecting dust
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 9:05 AM UTC
Breakers in a misty grey sea-storm,
Spray-foam rising and tossing,
Plunging me into seasick momentum.
I ****** out white stretched palms
And throw back my head,
The salt air stings my throat.
It burns within my chest
While hanging feetless
In the storm driven billows.
I fix my eyes on the
pearly black cloudless night
and beg the stars to anchor me.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 4:11 PM UTC