#tookforgranted
the girls I danced with
I never wrote songs about
the girls I kissed under bursts of fireworks
I never won carnival prizes for
the girls I entered the sheets with
I never made a deeper connection
the girls who gave me their best
I never understood their motives
and I wondered where they all went and
why we parted ways like cathedral doors
and why they took the hand of other monsters and vanished into the night.
I was too naive to notice
all the red flags waving behind me
and too dense to turn around
and open my eyes.
but now I face this dry vacancy
and I see they’re
intertwined with their domestics
constricted with their marriages
taunting their husbands
commanding their boyfriends
obsessed with their photo albums
cramming belief and guidance into their children
its the same unabridged story
told over and over
and over and over
again.
I too, sit with this adverse outcome:
this one wants me to quit drinking
and that one wants me on a diet
and this one wants me to get a better job
and that one wants me to exercise more.
I’ve never been one to rest on my laurels,
but as I lay down in this bed with this one
like so many buried cold beneath the Earth,
I can’t stop thinking of those angels from my past that have flown off into other heavens.
I was never deserving
of their time nor
their presence
and I am neither
here nor
there.
Mar 27, 2025
Mar 27, 2025 at 10:52 AM UTC
I hurt my self to feel the pain I caused you
Burnt in hell, my feelings since I lost you
I wear the devils costume
I darkened the sun to try and stop you
From leaving?
No, only from seeing
The demons in my eyes
They stop me from believing
They stop my bleeding heart from beating
They have stopped me from achieving
You
I know its not true
To say it didnt cost you
You thought that I was from your dreams
But the devil wears my costume
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 4:57 AM UTC