#timebomb
I become a ticking time bomb
Right when my mood swings
Starts to play hide and seek with me
It shows up at my doorstep
Enters without even a ring
I am not afraid of it not knocking
Before entering my sacred space
For the person I become after
My mood swings play with me
Like I am a Voodoo doll to it
Moulding me into shapes or figures
That will hurt me and leave a scar
Drives me like it's favourite car on road
Just with one not so decent surprise
It drives me with alcohol brimming out
Certainly, I am vicariously liable for all
Although, there is no time leash
Mood swings leave the home
When it has done enough damage
Sometimes even beyond repair
Tying my hands tight with remorse
That I am unable to mend
I am out of control
When my mood swings kick in
As soon as I calm down after its departure
My real life and damage
Starts to punch in my gut real bad
I am in an endless struggle with it.
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 9:22 AM UTC
Tic, tic, tic
BOOM.
Ticking.
I am a ticking time bomb
and I’ve been doused in gasoline.
I feel like I’ve been snagged
on a fishing line
and I’m being reeled in.
A fish hook in my heart?
My heart is liable to drain.
Fully.
Have you seen a drained heart?
Empty.
It looks empty
about as empty as I feel.
This is all over the place.
I guess it is true what they say,
you lose your mind before you lose
your life..
which would mean
Death should be honored.
I am close to Death and
Death is close to me.
Dec 6, 2019
Dec 6, 2019 at 4:15 PM UTC
you would run
you would run fast and away from me if I ever told you how I go to sleep each night imagining your laying in my arms your leg slipped between mine our feet sticking out the end of the blanket with your socks matching and mine, not even the same size
you would run
you would run so fast and away from me if I ever told you how I wake up each morning imagining it is your hand that stretches out of the warmth of our embrace to face the coldness of my room to turn off the alarm before burying your face into my arm saying just five more minutes
you would run
you would run so fast and so far away if I told you that the only reason I chose to live is so i do not disappoint you that my only motivation is you
which makes it so much worse when I sit there in late nights a bade in one hand and the other over my mouth tears and silent screams escaping as i realise this ends in one of two ways with death after a long and happy life or death when you realise I am a dead soul trying not to lie and cheat
so run, run now and run fast for I am a time bomb but I shall throw myself away so I do not take you with me
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 3:10 PM UTC
They touched my heart
Never left
Not the first time
Not the second time
Not even the last
"We can make it"
"I can't stop talking to you"
I smiled
Not because I believed them
But because you proved to me
You cared more than you want to show
I know its a lie
Even if you don't
Its not that I don't believe in us
In you
Its that i know us
And i know you
You want to fight battles alone
Even if I try to cover you
You'd push me out of the way
As far as you can
You don't want people there
You wont let me be there
So I'll let you lie again
Believing with every ounce
Every spot in space that you see
That you and I can do this
But I know the darkness will creep in soon
And make this go away
Just know you are my love
Not only in this life
But every other life we live in
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 2:48 PM UTC
I guess this is it,
I guess its finally done.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised,
I knew I wasn't the one.
I don't know what I was expecting from you
I know I can't expect it to be me you choose.
All I know is I was certian I was ready to
start pushing you away,
and in this time you've found someone to fill in my absent space.
For the record with that I will never be okay.
It is what it is, and I must let you go,
I never wanted to loose you
I don't know why I hadn't already lost hope.
As time has moved on
from you there is no sound,
just the ticking of me,
I'm now a time bomb.
I'm small & short fused,
feeling like I gave you all my love
& you've taken it just to abuse.
As my fuse grows shorter'
you distance yourself further.
I feel like my feelings are nothing but ******
I can feel my self exploding
because I've held on for too long..
Suddley silence,
no more ticking, from me
the time bomb.
boom
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 10:08 PM UTC
I hate the person in which I've become,
Holding resentment for all that I've done.
Facing my demons rather than to turn and run,
Heart beats in a rhythm, to you are the drum.
I understand that you must hate me, HA! I know you must,
This is obvious because. I. Hate. Me, so why wouldn't you?
Aren't all those things you've said to be nothing but true?
That no matter what, there's no way I can earn back your trust.
I would scream, I would punch and I would pray it do good,
Cause right now, what even is the use in being me?
Lost in the darkness I held at bay restricting my ability to see.
If things turned sour now, It'd be I who understood.
I'm done being me and all that I've become
No longer do I wish to remain as I am
Any effort to strip myself of this inner self, shall do me good
I know ive lost you in my life, im just sure of it...
This be the case...im sure the world will lose something in its life
What even would be the point?
A life without you just isn't worth living
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 7:31 AM UTC