#throwup
I sit here
bowl of cherries in front of my face
they haunt me
"you're so fat you really think you should eat that?"
"you need to go on a diet, like not eat at all..."
I'm sobbing
I'm starving they look so magical
I miss food as much as I hate to say it
so here I sit eating these cherries sobbing
I feel sick
it dosent sit quite right
but im scared
scared I'll never be able to eat them again if I don't eat them now
I finish the bowl
bite by bite
I feel disgusting
like really disgusting
I rush to the water
I never am good at drinking water unless this occurs
I drink a glass
maybe 2
maybe 3
then I rush into the bathroom
I lock the door
press my ear against the wall
hoping nobody's here
so here I am
home alone
alone in the bathroom
alone with my thoughts
I shove my fingers in my throat
and *****
and *****
and keep on vommiting
once I'm done I stop
I sob on the floor against the toilet
why did I eat that?
why did I throw up?
its so painful and heartbreaking
doing it every time the thoughts rush in after a meal
I should've just texted my friend
shouldve just told myself "its fine"
but I don't know anymore
should I get help or just
keep vomiting?
Jan 28
Jan 28, 2026 at 6:34 PM UTC
I feel like throwing up all these thoughts and words I have and much, much more.
I feel sick till I pour everything out.
The pain of lust and love gnawing at my soul.
The world eating at my heart.
My eyes full of emotional storms that I don't understand.
My brain is telling me to survive it all somehow.
Eventually I'll make it out of despair.
Feb 7, 2022
Feb 7, 2022 at 9:24 PM UTC