#threats
Eye to eye with a two faced mirror
Stern threats stated towards this duplicate I see
"I'm warning you, don't make me come in there,
You know you don't like it when we're angry"
Though, my mind and I both know I know better
Fully aware I don't have a victory on it's territory
A half baked example of what makes a quitter
There's a lose on every flipped page of my story
©2024
Aug 7, 2024
Aug 7, 2024 at 1:11 PM UTC
Have you ever had one of those moments?
You know, like;
when before you can begin to get a sentence in, you see the other person's eyes roll.
when words of wisdom sound arrogant and cynical.
when you know you're being far too critical.
when your obnoxiously focused on the most simple wrinkle.
when your little issues seem to flip to psychosis and drive you mental.
when your own thoughts threaten to send you to a hospital.
when tomorrow feels like just another obstacle.
Those moments when breathing feels impossible
When contemplating turns suicidal
And dreaming becomes unbearable
That special moment when it sets in that this doesn't feel like living,
This feels more like survival
No?
You've never had that feeling of being out of control,
Lost in a downward spiral?
Where you swear,
This mountain used to be a molehill...
®2024
Jun 13, 2024
Jun 13, 2024 at 7:40 PM UTC
I no longer dare to take a breath, can't provoke me, I won't breathe
Finding it too risky under the pressure of a thousand seas
Plus, you see, I must conserve the air for my self-righteous pleas
To produce more I planted the forest I can't see through the trees
Gods speed please, I've already been brought to my knees
By the artic breeze off a shoulder so cold it threatens to freeze
This house of cards I call a home sheds support beams with ease
From the inception of my very first organic thought
I've been largely ineffective at controlling my plot
Have I earned that first breath I got or not?
Probably not
The gut shot is how obvious it is that everyone at my table agrees
©2024
Jun 9, 2024
Jun 9, 2024 at 7:33 AM UTC
My thoughts
They can get scary
It's threats, more often than not, not empty
It's hard to convey what they say
They whisper a fray of cliche self hate with 41 years to work it's way to this level of decay
It's all consuming, engulfing then removing positivity 'til it's so scarce I'm left to pretend mostly
A sparse landscape of depravity naturally
Clear cut to make way for the fear factory
The soul fractures, now solely fear so to ward off lonely I let it stay
Not knowing how to play
Leaves me in the dark on what's at play
My thoughts
They aren't worth a penny
My two cents is free
I'd pay you to take them all completely
Is there a chance it gets messy?
Abso-freakin-lutely
But oh what a hero you could be
Imagine it up on a marquee, shining brightly
"Some dumb fuuck, a heros story"
(A family movie)
I'll be the monkey in the middle, come meet me
Come greet me and see purgatory, my state of temporary suffering and predetermined misery
What I'm forced to portray is only done cause I must obey or pay some ******* up penalty
Knowing I am the game and the prey, feeding a self-righteous gluttony
How much more do you want from me?
How much more must I contort for thee?
©2024
Jan 30, 2024
Jan 30, 2024 at 3:35 PM UTC
The eyes were still open
On the still life.
There's the difference
Between crossing the road
And dying in your sleep.
So, look both ways
Before crossing me.
Dec 17, 2022
Dec 17, 2022 at 8:58 AM UTC
All the viruses come out of human beings
Only if we could stop them with just a change in perspective of seeing
These viruses completely make our visual senses foggy
But we only realise it when the cereals get soggy
That’s when u realize u are at the edge of your life
Having a constant threat of an attack with a knife
You still take risks and try to find the cure
And then realise that you’re extremely unsure
That’s how our life works with all the threats and risks
Until you sit down and enjoy the crisps
Apr 19, 2020
Apr 19, 2020 at 12:21 PM UTC
You swear you really mean it
I'm pretty sure you don't
Too often I have let you slide
Counting on the fact you won't
I've asked you to try my shoes on
You don't hear a word I say
Too busy ranting while you stomp
Storming the opposite way
I'll succeed with or without your help
Slowly dying with stubborn pride
Opinions don't control me anymore
Or cut me inside
I do not care if you revoke support
You'll be my Mama no matter what
Is it hard to accept me for who I am?
Hiding behind a door tightly shut
It is tiring attempting to make you proud
Sad thing to see you cry
I disappear for I can't bear your tears
Unable to handle the disappointment in your eyes
A long time ago was the reason you smiled
Old photograph serves as proof
Held me through the years
Held me down
Handed out name slurred with *****
Now we do not even sit down to eat dinner
On steps I lay my dreams
A broken home empty of potential
Collecting on dusty beams
Drinking from your water bottle
That's not what's actually inside
Wind tipping you off balance
Alone as guilt you hide
At grey clouds I shudder
Foundation of our fears
Still true to trust and time
Detached demeanor clears
Wish I had courage to call you out
Call your bluff
Admit I know
When you tell me to get out
You really mean "please do not go"
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 10:47 PM UTC
Do you love me?
The hand print on my arm say you do
Do you love me?
The bruises on my body say you do
Do you love me?
The loss of air as you squeeze my throat means that you truely love me, right?
The black eyes means you love me
The death threats do as well
The namecalling and insulting means you love me, right?
Which means you love her too
So when you touched her,
I didn’t move
As you hit her
I didn’t flinch
As she bled
I didn’t falter
As she choked through breaths
I stood still, stayed silent
And as the life from her eyes left
I walked away.
Because that’s just what love is...
right?
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 3:30 AM UTC
once upon a time
the presidents
of the self-declared beacon of democracy
did not feel the need
to bully everybody
with threats and insults
they led the nation
by shining democratic example
remember…?
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 1:20 PM UTC
My Pandora's box, nailed shut, known as the FEAR.
I can't look at the box, it is FEAR.
FEAR itself.
A good day today but my fragile mind has seen the box, the FEAR.
Face the FEAR, **** the FEAR.
Face the FEAR, **** the ****** FEAR.
The apprehension, the box, the FEAR.
**** the FEAR, **** the ****** FEAR.
Oh, the untold, the box, the FEAR.
**** the FEAR, **** the ****** FEAR.
But for you, not one ****** tear.
Tell anyone you read this poem and
I'll ****** **** you!
Kaydee, confidence growing.
Kaydee, feeling bold.
Kaydee, the story untold.
Poetry by Kaydee.
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 9:43 PM UTC
I've been thinking more about you recently.
...No, not like that. Don't get the wrong idea,
Again.
You come back into my mind like the text notifications that would light up my phone.
Only this time I can't press the block button,
Again.
It's an odd feeling, a sort of confusion that gives me anger.
But I don't want to try and figure it out,
Again.
I was vulnerable, alone, suicidal, depressed, and you knew that.
You took advantage of me with your manipulative "I love you"'s
Again.
I fell for it, I was weak, and I loved you for awhile, I truly did.
Until you made me take off my clothes and give you a show,
Again.
It was intimate, for the first couple of months I thought.
But you began seeing me more as your ****** object,
Again.
But I wanted to believe you loved me.
So I opened my skin for you to make your home in me,
Again.
Did you deserve that? At the time, I thought it was only right.
But giving you my ***** home was my mistake,
Again.
The cycle continued, manipulation of *** for my dignity.
My identity was at stake, I was scared to hear you say,
"Again."
Silenced by threats that would expose me more than the skin I showed you.
So I, weak and stupid, fed into your fantasies
Again.
Emotional turmoils arose if I didn't give you what you wanted.
And I, depressed and scared of being alone, endured the hurtful words,
Again.
I had let your words define my worth.
I was nothing more but just someone who deserves this hurt,
Again.
There's a reason I stayed, but I feel like it was more rather for me than you.
I feel like some days I wanted this pain, or that I deserved it,
Again.
My trust was tattooed on your hand, my heart tattooed on your foot.
Never realizing the damages you left in me,
Again.
As you began to rattle my rib cage to wake me,
Asking me for more, and more, until I bled out my soul,
Again.
Forceful grabbing, soulless insults, groaning and yelling,
Then you'll leave, high and dry, for hours until you were ready to start,
Again.
My body shakes, my mind in disarray, buzzed like bees in a can.
I wept as I had to bandage myself,
Again.
You broke me as easily as a porcelain doll.
And I laid there, numb, as you kept moving your hips faster,
Again.
My body turned cold, as my heart packed its bags to leave.
I neglected myself, all for you, but you just wanted to keep going
Again.
You probably didn't care that I said I couldn't feel a thing.
You covered my mouth, ripped off my clothes, and forced yourself through,
Again.
Stating that I'll feel you inside, I'll feel our love in my chest.
But I cried and all I could feel was the yearning to slit my neck,
Again.
I had many breaking points, but none the worst as the last.
I was ready to give my tired body to the Reaper's arms,
Again.
And so I did, I left without a care of whatever you were going to do.
No matter how many threats and insults you shoved into my ear once
Again.
You wanted my hollow body that echoed your voice of "Take it off for me,
Again."
And I stab myself through my stomach, slice myself in half, rip you from the grip you had around my heart, snip your gnarly fingers from my brain, and say
"No."
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 3:04 PM UTC
I'M SORRY
YOU HELPED ME
IT DIDN'T HELP
I TOLD SOMEONE HOW I FELT
I GOT HELP
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP ANYMORE.
SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF BEING MY SAVIOR NO LONGER.
NO ONE ALONE CAN BE BURDENED WITH THE TASK OF SAVING ME.
I'M SORRY.
I YELLED AT YOU.
I HIT MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH A SPIRAL NOTEBOOK IN ANGER.
A SOCIAL FAUX-PAS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TEACH ME THIS IS WRONG.
I ALREADY KNOW.
I AM IMPULSIVE, NOT IGNORANT.
I ONLY PRETEND TO BE
BECAUSE I THINK
IT'S FUNNY
I LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE FUNNY
I LIKED TEXTING YOU
UNTIL YOU SAID
I TEXTED AS MUCH AS A LADY LOVER SHOULD
HOW CAN I HELP YOU
HOW CAN I MAKE YOU BETTER
PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU
I KNOW YOU ARE SUFFERING
I WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT
JUST DON'T TELL ME
"Go away" OR "Leave me alone"
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 15, 2017 at 11:13 AM UTC
So we're all doing "better..."
I ponder this as I go over all of our
Future life "perfections,"
War is ten times more ******
And violent than ever before.
If that's not enough, we deny
The loss of every day for people
Who go do boring, dead end
Professions.
(*Life is very short, so why not
Spend each day mopping floors
And filling out orders for life!*)
As if that isn't a tragedy,
A wonder as it is, the political
Playground is a wonderland
With the most immature
President in history now in
Charge, people pretend we'll
Somehow survive, his agenda
To remove, to dispose of
Anything or anyone he deems
To be "at large." If anyone
Loves immigrants, they are
Stupid, insane, and lack any
Integrity. If you don't work
And have a car, even if you're
(ACTUALLY!)
Disabled, you're a "waste of human
Space," to be guilt trip prone,
Ridiculed, no excuse, a total pity.
Well we certainly fixed this life up!
And left the rest of the world in the dust...
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 3:49 AM UTC
She said don't
But he didn't mind
He walked right at her
With a devil's intention.
She wanted to scream
And call her parents.
But he threatened her.
Her silent tears shed.
By each step he took
Her heart beat rapidly
As if she ran a thousand miles
To get away from here
She just closed her eyes
And took the torture.
She always wore a mask then
A happy one for the world.
She never uttered a word to anyone
Until now,
She opened herself to me
I was shocked
Couldn't do anything to fight
Just the prayers
To keep her strong.
I've seen several brave girls
But none of them replaced her.
Keep fighting, my friend.
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 1:39 PM UTC
Devils whisper in his ears,
Of death threats and hatred.
Now, there he laid,
With a slow beeping of his heart,
Unconcious,
With his soul gripping to live,
And his mind weakening.
《 e.i 》
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 6, 2017 at 7:34 AM UTC
9 YEARS OLD
Daddy told me I'm special, I'm his perfect little girl.
Daddy leaves bruises on my body
Daddy doesn't hit me he says
"it was only a smack"
10 YEARS OLD
Daddy told me that i am slow
If I carry on this way i will never get a job
He moves me to another school
I don't care, at least here they wont make fun of my mum,
11 YEARS OLD
I cant keep up with my school work
the class moves to fast
my father hits, punches and slaps
my father breaks my pencil
i tell my friend that he snapped my pencil
Daddy overhears he says
"don't tell people what happens at home or daddy will go to jail"
I didn't think that what he was doing was wrong
I thought that everyone got this too
12 YEARS OLD
I'm in a school and having lots of fun
Daddy says to make no friends
that i shouldn't trust anyone
he doesn't hit anymore
he threatens me at home
15 YEARS OLD
I have few friends that know nothing about my home
My parents are no longer together
and i feel completely alone
I have no trust
no family
nothing at all
Daddy tells me i can tell him everything
I tell him how i feel
He hits my wall, i see his eyes turn red
Daddy says
"If you were my son i would his the crap out of you"
because he thinks that its ok
to his a boy but not a girl
and that is not ok.
i want to die
i cant go on
I look him in the
eye this is not my Daddy
this is a man, who i have never known
He thinks im going to **** myself
so he leaves me with with one thing
The man says
"If you **** yourself, i Will **** myself"
to try to make me feel guilty
it only makes me think that
If my death will result in his
then the world is better off without me
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 6:18 AM UTC
Or is it dead?
Black which is not
The color of my soul
Black that is all things
Rough, hard and scary
Black is threats, is hurt,
Is wrong, is *****
Black is hard to get rid of
An annoying stain
That stays far too long
Eventually you give up
Because no matter how close
You are to pure white
The decisions
You wrote in black
Will always stain your mind
Even if it's a small dot
Moving back into your mind
Even if you never think of it
It's still there
Irreversible
Unchangeable
Black is rough
And tough
It's daunting
And evil
In its luring ways
Scaring you
Until you give in
To the decay
Black is cold
Black is solid
Black has no qualities
That anyone should want
Unless
You welcome
The destructive and penetrating
Emptiness
That could enter
Your soul
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 9:13 PM UTC
How I learned to deal with bullies:
Let them have their laugh.
Then laugh about the stupid things they say and do later because you got screenshots of all that **** for the cops. xD
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 9:03 PM UTC
Belligerence,
Loathsome remarks,
Abhorrent attitude,
Sacrilege behavior,
Profaning sacred places,
Hatred in their eyes,
Excavating a hole in hearts of innocent souls,
Mentoring these people to leave religion,
Yes this all happened back then.
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 11, 2015 at 6:06 AM UTC
I'll tell you the truth
The truth
The truth
I'll tell you the truth
The truth
If you come here
I promise my dear
There'll be nothing left of you
Of you
Nothing left of you.
( Maybe a tooth)
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 4:30 PM UTC
Shout and scream will there is nothing left.
Put me in that grave like you are desperate too.
Make my life hell,
Spill all my secrets...
Continue your violent, death threats.
I will just pretend it means nothing to me
But truthfully I cant wait for the day
When I don't have to feel at all.
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 5:32 PM UTC