#teenhood
A rose by another name is just as plain
A rose in another vase is just as dead
And here I am pretending, nothing’s wrong with me.
If I don’t see what I want to see
If I don’t hear what I want to hear
What use is it if I speak, and you don’t hear me?
Don’t hear me out if I’m lifeless
Don’t look the other way
If you see that I’m struggling to breathe.
I fight to stay focused, you fight to be blameless
I close my eyes when I start to sink.
If I don’t see what I want to see
If I don’t hear what I want to hear
What use is it if I lose it, and you ignore me?
I am not an object, I am not a vessel of pain
I deserve life, even if I’m worthless.
I scream, I cry, I will not die
You won’t ignore that I’m there
No one will tell me I’m a waste of air.
Don’t cut me down, and expect me to wither away.
10th September 2017
Sep 10, 2017
Sep 10, 2017 at 6:33 AM UTC
Quite fancy, it was,
How the British call their crush,
Like a friend said,
I do fancy her,
But like, as I say, would be a better term,
But best is her obvious beauty,
Sun-kissed and hugged by her country's pride,
Hugged, was the thing I wish I cold do,
But alas, only a wish was the only thing I cold do too,
Like a common teenager,
I fawned for someone I barely knew,
But with days just passing,
It felt like months and years were due,
With her time was just another word in the dictionary,
Just like fancy,
I wish she did too.
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017 at 8:04 AM UTC
A true mother is always there for me
A true mother loves me unconditionally
A true mother holds my hand in the rain
A true mother can soothe my pain.
But I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.
So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!
You can't trick me into forgetting you
I recognised you again
When I saw you nine years later
It's like you stepped out of my head.
Your face was still the same
Sure, your hair was different.
And I know I'm not to blame
For you deciding to be distant.
But if you'd been here earlier
When I needed your reassurance
Maybe I wouldn't be surlier
Towards those with mother's affections.
I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.
So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!
What else can I do on Mother's Day
Except cry or remember you?
Do other parents split for comfort?
Do they really think things through?
I don't know what to think
When others say I'm fortunate.
I grew up with poor self-esteem
And no one to correct it.
One parent may understand something
Much better, or more accurately.
My mum can understand my body
My dad understands my personality.
I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.
So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!
So my true mother is my dad
He tried to be like a mother.
And I realise because he cared for me
His gender doesn't matter.
A true mother is always there for me
A true mother loves me unconditionally
A true mother holds my hand in the rain
A true mother can soothe my pain.
Today I'll give dad a hug
And say 'thanks for caring what I think.'
I won't ******** a 'happy Mother's Day'
Or give him anything pink.
I won't pretend he's someone he isn't
He's fairly respectful of me.
I'm not a perfect daughter
And never was a girl, you see.
And before you blame who I am
On the lack of a mother
Did you choose to be one child
Or have a sister, or a brother?
I don't know what to think
When others say I'm fortunate.
I grew up with poor self-esteem
And no one to correct it.
At least I learned for other parents
Don't leave kids when they're young.
They'll learn before 5, that when someone's gone
There's nothing that can be done.
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 9:23 PM UTC