#talkingtomyself
Crackling fire, shrinking slow.
Outside, rages a storm of snow.
Through my shelter howls a wind.
I'm unsure if I can defend,
myself from the dark and cold,
as the fire grows ever old.
To get some rest is my desire.
But with the cold, I shall expire.
So I force myself to stay awake.
As my body begins to shake.
Suddenly I feel every ache.
I think of every person I've hurt.
Every opportunity missed, a mistake.
No matter far I put that behind,
those thoughts are still in my mind.
There's no solace for me to find.
The fire starts to crackle and pop.
It briefly makes the thoughts stop.
The fire is very dim.
I know my chances are slim.
So I have a choice.
To lie down and die with the fire.
Or to get up and raise my voice.
I choose to roll the dice.
I will not go gentle into this cold night.
I shall rage, rage against the dying firelight.
Oct 19, 2018
Oct 19, 2018 at 3:53 AM UTC
Have I gone mad?
Probably.
Is it normal to converse with one's self?
Probably not.
Oh... well that's just too bad.
People don't know what they're missing out on.
Exactly; trust no one.
Not even yourself...
I must bottle it up inside.
Yes. I must.
But it will tear me apart.
It will tear me apart.
But it's what must be done.
It's what must be done.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Jun 11, 2016
Jun 11, 2016 at 6:21 AM UTC
I found that I was talking to myself tonight
No one in the room just me and the light
I think I've done lost it, that one final piece
There is now nothing in my head to decrease
Out of my cranium it must have crept
I bet you it did it last night while I slept
Now I'm talking right out loud
As if in my room there was a big crowd
Yep, it's official.......it is all gone
Yep, I think it left right around dawn
Wait for it.....wait....there it is, I just answered myself
Maybe I should go with the other crazies upon the shelf
Altho as I listen, I think I'm quite right
It's the most intelligent things I've heard in many a night
Yep, that proves, it I'm totally insane
It's done been let off of it's chain
Oh well what use is there to having one
It was never in use when I was having fun!!!!
Mar 19, 2016
Mar 19, 2016 at 7:30 PM UTC
The worst of all enemies is in my head
She does not wear a mask or look like a monster
In fact, she is beautiful
Far more beautiful than I am, as she constantly reminds me
She is smarter, sexier, funnier, calmer, more confident than I am
As she constantly reminds me
She knows what everyone else really thinks of me
She knows what they say when I'm not there to hear it
And she's always there to remind me of the silly things I might've said
She doesn't have to hide behind baggy sweatshirts
No, she wears whatever she wants, and always looks beautiful
She doesn't smile very much, but that's because she hates me
"Like everyone else does" she likes to remind me
It's hard to silence her
She especially likes to visit me when I'm alone
Likes to scream at me when I'm curled in bed
Her words as dark as the night around me
She likes to keep me up a lot
When I could be sleeping, dreaming, she reminds me of all the wrong I've done today
How I could've been so much better
But of course, how I never will be
It doesn't matter how late we stay up, she can keep going for hours
But sometimes I've noticed that she doesn't visit me the morning after
When I fall asleep in class, she's nowhere to be found
Which is good, because that's been happening a lot lately
The only way to keep her at bay
Well, not the only way
Me and this other girl in my head, we've found some ways
But the other me, she's young
Not as smart or cool or experienced as she is
That's okay
I like her a lot more
She's quiet, but she pipes up now and again
She usually has nice things to say
Or nothing at all
Which is probably why she doesn't speak up too much
"Not too many nice things with you, are there?" she'd remind me
But the little girl
She hangs out when I'm tired
Reminds me of when I was little
How I could get lost in a book
I've started reading again
She doesn't like that
"Only losers sit inside and read books. But I guess you don't have friends anyway"
Well, that's okay
The little girl reminds me how the sky looks at night
And we go running together
Slow at first, then faster
Then we venture out in the day
She's happy for me
She's not
But the little girl is helping me
She's a little louder now, a little bolder
She argues with her
Sometimes they fight so loud I can hardly stand it
And I stand dazed, eyes glazed, until one of them wins
Lately, she's been losing
Tonight she won a battle
But we're going to win the war
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM UTC