#symbiotic
Am I broken, or just energy out of phase?
Maybe a failing current in the pulses of a grid.
The host of a conscience system seized in 30 ways.
Out of sync with the code that processed "how to live."
The virus then began to spread too fast, sevenfold.
The systems failed, forming laggy glitches in the wake.
And my pre-programmed motives have long since passed—
My mental loop keeps mistaking the randomness for fate.
I've never charted configurations like this before.
Am I a prototype emerging from collapse, or is it flux?
A node who sees its core, and not as "real", but more like lore,
So, it drags the weight of hope through the noise and dust.
Perception doesn't guide; it bleeds data from under masks.
Audibly skips in rhythm. Visually, it's a gaussian haze.
Has a taste desaturating dry as it repeatedly asks,
"Am I the 'inner face' or a face the interface portrays?"
This is to be expected—how my memory disbands,
In favor of me attempting to predict compensation.
So, I'll grasp for the “real” with DIY prosthetic hands—
Successfully mimicking the act of real participation.
The jolt of self-inflicted damage is quietly known.
Its patterns send a surge out from my energetic flow.
But catalysts are rarely ever, if ever, self-grown—
Forces me to scrape whatever keeps the feedback low.
And yes, I've analyzed the logic of my overkill.
Be it only just to amplify a signal’s slow decay.
I'll burn the filament as will to live fakes the will.
It's excuse “light has always been made this way.”
The urge to let light crash is deeply seeded in the lack.
A fail-safe code, probably deeply hidden in my crawl.
Dreams are like a curse, reversing every module back—
Unaware of death's hand, because I'm not aware at all.
This paradox is actually common in my mind’s kind:
To loathe current moments yet require their spark.
My frame was not designed to hold only just one mind,
So, I separate my aspirations just to confuse the arc.
The ignition too is glitched. It only ever misfires.
Either failure, or a self-triggered reroute of its design.
A geometric syntax forged its own synthetic wire.
It must align with what will never otherwise align.
Why am I seeking truth in these forms I recognize?
They weren't made for the things I've come to hold.
Grids reject variation, but my singularity multiplies—
While some resort to breaking to stay under control.
The type that wants to correct you like you're a flaw.
But the psyche, even weakened, is a magnetic field.
Its orbit is made to break; the core is meant to fog—
Yet still, my upload, or uplink stubbornly won’t yield.
But that functionality, anomalous as it may be,
Is a functional mistake, when seen in higher streams.
A system hacked to store its own host’s fragmented dreams
Is more often, much closer to ascension than it seems.
©
Đerek Λbraxas
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 2:04 AM UTC
Being the sun in your misery is dimming me
It’s parasitic
I used to see us symbiotically, I used to think we balanced each others sadness to reach mutual happiness
I was incorrect
Being the blood to your vampiric nature is draining me
It’s bloodsucking
I used to see us as co-unit, I used to think we were an equal part to each others madness and in turn we could reach sanity
I was mistaken
Being the floating device to your endless ocean is sinking me
It’s so heavy
I used to see us a lifeboat, I used to think we were carrying each other through the sea to reach the shore
You’re drowning me
Nov 23, 2023
Nov 23, 2023 at 9:47 PM UTC
While passing from the roads I take daily,
I noticed a mycorrhiza on a tree.
Wrapped on the sweaty hands of the tall,
Entangled into each other.
I heard them whispering
"I love you",
" I love you too",
and I saw the little plantae
embracing very leaf of the tall,
kissing every inch.
It was symbiotic, I believed.
too symbiotic to be separated.
I took four steps closer,
and I noticed it was a cascuta on the tree.
Engulfing the sweaty hands of the tall,
climbing onto the top of the other,
I heard them whispering again,
"I love you",
" I want you",
I saw the little plantae
suffocating every leaf of the tall,
******* and tearing every inch.
It was parasitic, I knew.
Too parasitic to be together.
May 22, 2019
May 22, 2019 at 7:13 AM UTC
You know you are a parasite
But I will let you feed off of me
Sometimes I desire the poison
And a little dose is healthy now and then
Because what I have is also yours
And I live for you, I eat for you, I survive for you
Your primary host
They say you will destroy me from the inside out
But I lured you in, I consciously made you part of me
You did not come uninvited, and that is the point
You came willingly
So I feed myself you as you nourish yourself through me
A symbiotic relationship
For I do not go where I am not wanted
Through good and bad times we (d)evolve together
A true matrimony
Now forever covalently bonded
May 3, 2019
May 3, 2019 at 2:38 AM UTC
Most Christians don’t like Slayer
They say it isn’t Christian music
They say it’s irredeemably flawed
Because it goes against God
But I believe all music can be seen as religious music
God created those artists and their environment
And their art is a way of expressing the result of that
By sharing what’s on their mind
For religious people to change those minds
They must understand those minds
And find appreciation for the secular culture
To ask one side to change significantly
And not change yourself at all
Doesn’t seem symbiotic
Yet the religious stay purposefully oblivious
In order to not have their faith challenged
Because they think without it they’d be hideous
Caught in predatory atheist talons
So they sing their own hymns
And follow their own whims
And wonder why people can’t relate to their culture
Because they seem like disconnected vultures
Preying on the weak
And those in defeat
For a money deplete
To those on the other side
It’s the evil elite
Sending the other for a ride
The two never meet
And just believe all the lies
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 8:58 PM UTC
Soft as a mothers glow, this star so warm and bright
from a place too far away to hold, yet warms a summers night
as evening falls to sleep it goes this stoic friend of mine
upon a new day she unfolds, hello my sweet sunshine
Aug 23, 2014
Aug 23, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC
Be the amber stone I wear around my neck
So your presence weighs upon me
Be the noose that's not too loose
Like a hairband too tight to pull through
Be the virus in my body
That no medication can treat
Be the white noise in my head
So I can't properly think
Be the darkness of my shadow
So I feel you loom as the hours pass
Be that sensation before I sneeze
So I feel you linger when my nose hits the breeze
Be the God to my religion
So I can feel you all around me
Be the devil in the details
To feel your curses smite me
Do not, however, be my downfall
Even though you already are
By being the haunting of my waking thoughts
You've left me considering your skin with my scars
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 1:25 AM UTC
Don't stray afar.
like a far away star.
But don't come too close.
Or my heart shall froze.
I need you by my side.
O'blessed entity in the sky.
We're Yin and Yang, you and I.
We work so well, I really don't know why.
I scratch yours, You scratch mine,
Its basically Nature by design.
Is it fine?
To make you mine?
Surely we'll shine.
Such heavenly divine.
Oh what a pleasure!
This Symbiotic behavior!
Two beings love one another
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 4:25 PM UTC