#suspicion
"Gestalt!" She exclaimed.
"It's okay to be suspicious."
The ice on the windshield is paradoxical, lost in a morass of morose, and it cries like a little girl on a rainy day.
See her in a winter dress. See a continental elegance of what the whispers only hinted at.
Her face sells emotional disconnection and faded glory.
Her eyes emit raw, unsettling need suffused with delicate serenity.
Utopia wandering straight from her mouth to your ears, a little different every time.
And she's running wild through a wooded thicket, the sound of gunmen closing in. She'll never reach the greywacke of the shore, but fall in the stone cold sand. They'll find fingerprints on the surfaces of her neck.
Reminders are remainders after all.
Let it go, watch it come back, come back, come back...
Nov 29, 2025
Nov 29, 2025 at 1:27 PM UTC
He washed his shirt him-
self at the seaside, he says --
Or did his lover?
Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 3:48 AM UTC
"What is this? Something new.
So I have no need of you
But my plan will follow through
And for that, once more, I'll use you
But I'll get a taste again, I never thought I'd be able
Plan A fell through
For Plan B, I will settle.
Until I get what I really want
I don't think I can wait
So I cast you aside
Only after I've made this mistake...
Keep you on the side until your usefulness ends.
One more bill until I let it end.
I take what I wanted
For what I've waited
Covert trysts intoxicated
My backup plan, no longer needed.
But the consequence I had failed to keep abated.
After desires have been sated.
I led you on, so happy that I was able
Until my confidence and Plan B were on the table.
The morning after, no concern if you are stable.
Things don't change
Time to move on from this fable."
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 7:44 PM UTC
In a quiet mind, where thoughts dwell,
Suspicion pops with a poisonous spell.
A whisper, a doubt, a tremble of fear,
It crawls in unseen, then it's suddenly clear.
Like a secret thief in the dead of night,
It steals away peace, it dims the light.
A cancerous seed in the heart it sows,
Where trust was, now suspicion grows.
It colors perceptions, twists the view,
Creating rifts where once there were two.
Creating unwanted thoughts, confusing the mind,
Leaving loved ones and peace far behind.
When it grows, hearts break and gets torn,
Bridges get burned, relationships are worn.
For suspicion, once it takes its hold,
Leaves scars that are deep, cannot be told.
Families torn apart, bonds broken,
Words unspoken, love life gets shaken.
The past dragged into the present day,
Ensuring happiness to fade away.
To heal the wounds, to mend the pain,
Trust should return like gentle rain.
Leaving the past where it rightfully lies,
Accepting the present like clear skies.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
Jun 5, 2025
Jun 5, 2025 at 5:57 AM UTC
You were standing,
Hands outstretched
I was afraid.
Afraid you'd catch my brain
if I stepped closer,
Or if you did.
But then
You touched my face,
So gently,
Just as you own my heart.
I was waiting for the blow,
Wondering if this too
Was just a trick
Another way to catch me off guard.
But instead,
You drew me in,
Placed my stiff face
In the crook of your neck,
Held me close,
And whispered,
“It’s alright.”
May 17, 2025
May 17, 2025 at 9:36 AM UTC
What a strong grip that you've managed to keep so long
How does it still feel in this moment?
Realize now that the grip was too strong
It's gone too numb to feel if it still constricts
Emboldened by the lies that cross the threshold of those lips
You get what I give and I give you what I deserved
You reap what I sow, but I know what you think I don't
Believe me, you know you've deceived me
You seem baffled as I start to roam away from your reach
Wondering where went the chain you've anchored
What of the lessons you've attempted to teach
To keep me guilted, controlled and manipulated
So you can seek all you want from the others you've lied to
You take what I give but I get what you deserved
I've reaped what you sow and you know that I don't
Believe you, I know you've deceived me
So come clean to me
Bare all your guilt
Set me free
You've already abandoned me
Still you don't resist
To continue so disrespectfully
You keep your secrets disappearing
So what is it that you still want from me?
So come clean to me (come clean, come clean)
Bare all your guilt (what you hide from me)
Set me free (your cage no longer fits)
You've already abandoned me
So why should I stay by you?
©July 2024 Neal Emanuelson
Jul 2, 2024
Jul 2, 2024 at 6:40 PM UTC
Sally would with the wall
Music so shrouded, a hat of compliance
The terror involved
A chance meeting with resolve, that stated intention...
My name is Carlton
Spate energies, and the vague way
A harping halt to better problems
Has saved me from a hateful demon, with it to say:
Choose me over any other, the collapse of vows
Has a futile throw of light, in the remark innuendo made
Salt and harmony, to fetch a liberty without how
Is a door on commonness, that has the shape of futures sate
Lemonade and dickory cookies
Shown the time of their life, a hallway to sigh
Scurrilous was a special man, with a plan, for a dreams ease
With the stone of fending remorse into a corner, of life...
Patiently, the day came to a close...
Proud Sally, or privileged Carlton
A wish adrift in the evening your, the scared host
Of another smile to win, the promise of a stoic question...
Hello, I have the world to sleep longer than me
Simply roles of victory, victimized by a lip of succor
Rhyming and doling the obvious, of a secret means
To an ending for serenity, that knows your craving for ours?
May 8, 2024
May 8, 2024 at 4:01 PM UTC
The questions, the doubts,
the suspicion, that monster --
with too many heads.
Dec 4, 2023
Dec 4, 2023 at 3:29 AM UTC
How is in the house
Drama, fearsome now, and a gift?
Sordid we knew, the count of thou
Simple reach and prosper, with an eye to lift...
Here, seldom...
The deeds we fated in the shadows
Have a quiet keep, of what hope will love...
The rue and the risk, of vanity that a silence avowed?
Share, sakes...
The pout we made, for avidity to bloom
Security to fare, the court a decision makes...?
Has the silence for a hero, that is the future to groom...
Clarity, sense...
Has us by the toe, like a fruit...
Of simplicity to step forward and make amends
That seem to be ours, to worth and reveal to you, a tongue mute?
Savagery, sides...
Regret for a friend found in the times, a wish
We shall reason, is a recreation of soulless pride...
We deceived from a poignancy, with a kiss...
Now, is in the none
Achingly, our sincerity is a fashion of prodigy
Where in a thought, all of a tout to see the sanity of since all along
Took and never mistook, for a phantom of privilege, we mean...
Sep 7, 2023
Sep 7, 2023 at 4:53 PM UTC
Why’d you have to prove
That I was right all along?
Isn’t it too soon for this song
To end abruptly and mock love?
Now, I can’t finish headstrong,
I have nothing from above.
Do let me box you without glove
Or let me hate you a lifelong.
Apr 20, 2022
Apr 20, 2022 at 11:38 AM UTC
caustic famine
eyes poised to attack
two sides of the brain divided
like strangers on a phone
your grin sadistic
yet somehow inviting
bitterness holds court
in the beauty of your hunger
mirror speaks in riddles
no love survives
Mar 3, 2021
Mar 3, 2021 at 10:19 AM UTC
where is hope
in this cluster **** world
we are just powerless disciples
of distrust and suspicion
of our systems and overlords
a bunch of anonymous souls
who have learnt
to question everything
emboldened by our
social media alliance
we are a coalition of suspicion
but a cluster **** of suspicion
will be no salvation
hope is
people doing the things that they love
things they believe in
being humble warriors
of self determination
helping each other
in compassion and grace
and in so doing
showing others that
there are good people
in the world
because we are all
just people together
Sep 29, 2020
Sep 29, 2020 at 4:39 PM UTC
life on our globe has turned
truly ‘complificated’
and many struggle to maintain
a semblance of the ordinary
in our daily goings about town
face masks, regulations and prescriptions
have changed how we can interact
if we may at all
with each other, friends, family, or strangers
physical distancing may rise desire
for at least digital social closeness
yet in its wake
emotional remoteness seems to grow
hanging like a shadow over
occasional live meetings with old friends
children, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.
we watch them with veiled suspicion
they somehow look a little less familiar
since we met them last time
who knows what they might carry
strangers watching strangers we have become
growing more alienated from each other
Sep 14, 2020
Sep 14, 2020 at 11:55 AM UTC
i followed you
into the depths of your suspicions
your paranoia
your accusations cut deeper than you know
the night and day
black and white
love and hate dance we shared
brought me to the edge of my own delicate sanity
and to life itself
I loved you like no other
and hated you as I would my worst enemy
you were fire and ice
beauty and cancer
peace and war
I miss you to this day
and curse you for every day I lost
Jun 22, 2019
Jun 22, 2019 at 12:40 PM UTC
Everything is up in flames
only one will take the blame
Everything is up in flames
so lets save everyone
Everything is up in flames
brother and sister are the same
Everything is up in flames
so let her fingers point
Everything is up in flames
purple child gone insane
Everything is up in flames
so let her run away
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 9:38 PM UTC
When will this suspicion
Go into remission?
Splitting like nuclear fission
Is their miserable mission
So they poke and ****
Claiming I'm a fraud
Thinking they're my god
Which seems kind of odd
Because they know so little
And I know so much
I play them like a fiddle
Then eat them for lunch
For when it comes to raging rhetoric
I prove myself to be the better *****
They turn suspicious
So I become vicious
And treat them like *******
Because all of their wishes
Are of being capable witches
So they can morph me into a frog
Maybe then I'll hope on their log
And live the limited life they want
But they'll always tease and taunt
So my sensitive secrets I'll flaunt
To disarm their negative notions
Yet that's a never ending ocean
We live in a world of suspicion
With a hatred ignition
We live in a world that's a prison
A world that's sad to envision
Where everyone's a guard
And everyone is charred
By the judge
Who throws sludge
At the fragile mirror
To make hatred clearer
We must break the lawyers' locks
And sell their suspicious stocks
For when we fear one another
We don't hear one another
Communication goes
Suspicion grows
That's the flow
While we sit in our vaults
Hoping that this halts
But it never stops
In a world of cops
A world that's continually turning
While suspicion keeps burning
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 4:47 AM UTC
A thought that comes so sudden
Like a stranger unpleasant
Who knocks at your door
and barges in before you say, No
Why was it let in without resistance.
Why were you stupefied by its appearance
What made you so afraid that you watched helplessly while it settled in.
Maybe the intruder was not a stranger but someone you had seen earlier.
Someone you were afraid to encounter
and wished would never come so near.
Helped by your fear, this intruder dictates your behaviour and enslaves you further to become your master.
This intruder is Suspicion and none other.
An undesirable thought when allowed to register will feed on your fear and soon become a doubt that is difficult to clear.
Save yourself from being ruined by this intruder, whom Suspicion we call here.
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 3, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
What does it say
When being happy
Worries me?
What does it say
about me
When being happy leaves me concerned
that the worst is yet to come
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 11:16 PM UTC
The bitter sting of winter's singing howl
Drives me to seek some deep and darkling place
Far from the blizzard's scorn, the wind's embrace,
Far from the beasts who bear its brunt to prowl
In search of prey. I'll clutch close to my cowl
And cloak, beneath which hides a younger face
Than most foresee. The forecast yields no trace
Of hope for safety 'pon the road. No foul,
My fellow traveler, don't fear from me.
I'll lay my knife down well before we meet,
Before we each choke down a share of ***
Or what would pass to warm camaraderie;
I know not where I've passed, to where I've come;
I simply beg a place to warm my feet.
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 8:47 AM UTC