#surgery
Out of ever cut,
Every gaping incision,
Made by a desperate hand.
This is the first, injury,
That has hurt.
The first time pain wasn't followed,
By relief.
This time it just,
Lingers.
Stagnant in the air,
Suffocating.
Out of every emergency room visit,
Every hospital stay,
This is the first that wasn't my fault,
That wasn't intentional.
This is the first scar,
Out of hundreds,
That might fade,
But it will never go away.
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 11:01 PM UTC
What if,
I'm never the same.
What if I step into the ring,
Onto the field,
And I hesitate.
I hesitate because I remember the sound,
Of me tendon snapping in two,
Because I relive the nights rithing in pain,
Because I remember the moments I missed,
Confined to my bed like a prisoner.
What if,
I'll never be as good,
As I was?
All because of one miss step,
One stumble.
What if?
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 10:43 PM UTC
I dissected my brain on a sterile metallic table,
I pushed the scalpel down through a sticky membrane,
that held my flaws.
I washed my scalp in drug store rubbing alcohol,
in an attempt to scrub memories away.
I splashed in a little bleach,
so that the scars might fade.
I scooped out all of the tainted parts,
I used forceps to tear out,
all the dysfunctional pieces.
Once I was done,
I looked inside my skull,
and I realized,
there was nothing left.
Apr 7
Apr 7, 2026 at 2:45 PM UTC
oh secret surgeon
playing my machine
you do love to dine
on that brain of mine
nasty horns playing
blaring and bleating
your scalpel to move
"I've folded it
like a sheet to hide the cutting
but i cannot stop the bleeding"
"that won't do
family betrayal wants this lobe
you see this one?
that's for enemies that made themselves
and here
this is where the stars crossed
every time"
work to be done
he's told me
and he's paid well
to work perfectly
i thrash and shout
out comes the heat
blood from wrinkles
my youth too shows
as i am young
i wish this surgeon's work
undone
Nov 19, 2025
Nov 19, 2025 at 9:34 PM UTC
Each mountain, valley, hill and peak
is a scenic landscape quite unique,
be proud of your topography
and personal geography,
people who knock you,
who make you feel ugly, old or fat,
are controlling, mean, and talking crap,
ignore their derision
it's purely your decision
if you ever decide to iron the map
Nov 6, 2025
Nov 6, 2025 at 4:09 AM UTC
Past the cows she said
While in cast in pain I lay
Cancer killed your dog
Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025 at 11:44 PM UTC
Peace
On the operating table.
I wasn’t very faithful,
But ever since Death’s call—
I fear. for my life.
God save us all.
Adieu, adieu, adieu.
A tremor hits the old room,
Antiques and glasses crash,
Dust folds and my heart.
It's all gone.
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 2:28 PM UTC
Je meurs d'envie d'être à tes côtés, à ton biais
Mon amour, je suis assoiffé d'être à ton chevet
Pour éteindre ta douleur, pour t’administrer de bons massages
Pour t'envoûter et pour envoyer de doux messages
À ton corps, à ton âme et à ton cœur ébranlé
Chérie, dès lors toi et moi ne devrions plus jamais être séparés.
Je meurs d'envie d'être avec toi, nuit et jour
Pendant ta réhabilitation et ton séjour
Dans toutes les facultés médicales. Tu me manques terriblement
J’ai soif et faim de te voir. Je suis à la fois triste et en colère
De ne pas être avec toi aujourd'hui, en ce moment
Je suis chaud d'être à tes côtés, tout de suite, tendre mère.
À bientôt. Je serai avec toi tout le temps
Je serai le doux guérisseur qui rimera joyeusement
Juste pour toi. J'attendais l'occasion parfaite de venir
À tes cotés. J'ai hâte de te revoir sourire et rire
Je meurs d'envie de me tenir à ton chevet
Tu me manques comme un pauvre amant largué sur le quai.
P.S. Translation of “By Your Bedside” by Hébert Logerie.
Copyright © Septembre 2025 Hébert Logerie, Tous droits réservés.
Hébert Logerie est l'auteur de plusieurs recueils de poésie.
Sep 6, 2025
Sep 6, 2025 at 11:17 PM UTC
The scalpel is much like the pen,
In the hands of caring & skilled surgeons.
Tuna, Sturgeon, Trout.
If you loosed a seam
Stitch it or cauterize it - heal it,
Otherwise it's all down-stream.
If you offend,
Make right by making amends;
You are stricken by lightning.
If you misrepresent,
Apologize & correct your error by proper interpretation
Or to the caves be sent!
Judge not the judges,
For you are one & this inclination is only a natural one,
Lest you receive an unjust verdict.
Jul 9, 2025
Jul 9, 2025 at 1:18 PM UTC
His hands hovering
above me like birds of prey --
Lamps in his glasses.
May 25, 2025
May 25, 2025 at 2:03 AM UTC
When I was told I had to get surgery
I was so scared I'd say something strange when I woke up
And I screamed until I felt a silver of rejoice
In hopes I'd lose my voice.
And when they stuck needles into my body
And my body felt like it could begin to glow
And when I felt euphoria in my arms and chin
That was the most scared I've ever been
Sep 29, 2024
Sep 29, 2024 at 12:18 PM UTC
Eight years ago, foggily I awoke from a 40-day deep, deep deep, sleep,
Seven times I've donned the sackcloth, which may continue seventy times seven in acceptance of my new reality.
Six years of gratitude redirected my heavy heart and thoughts, reframing and good perspective keep --
Five rehabilitation programs, cross-country, helped regain vital functionality, to commence:
Four years of post-graduate study in counselling and chaplaincy, processing grief, re-skilling, and growing more confidently,
despite my
Three-second memory retention, slowly but surely, my amazing brain rewired grey space. My
Two eyes, after several surgeries, still view life in fragments, hoping to be restored by the
One Almighty God, who has blessed me with life, I stand in awe of His grace.
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 9:55 PM UTC
See the world distinctly?
Pearls?
A kaleidoscope of memories?
Or lucidly look differently?
A beggar, or free from the constraints of Western reality?
New eyes take in all perspectives: perceptions,
Compelling new experiences: horizons.
Releasing shame; distorted distractions.
Embracing imperfections, peccadillos,
Layers of realities,
Depths, and
Rationalities.
Diversely.
Maturely.
Dec 6, 2023
Dec 6, 2023 at 12:45 AM UTC
Theory of a dread
Music in the naked thought
For more, than a kind thank you ahead
Where the cloth is worn, with a purposed climate to rot?
Music with a proud name...
Torrid whole kindred, and a dole of lead
In meager how, the gift of nothing shame?
Reasons and similar essence to rise, and fall with need...
Mercy for a minstrel of heirs?
Taken to lies and school's of thought...
Sweet avarice, do we know you one step more?
Like a bird of war, we see the tried and true, became not...
Them said, the tone of your voice is a sultry longing...
Strength and totals of sincerity, to show you a vaunted
Gold, and the many of sitting for a though, a song
Of guided misery, the stare of unison that joy meant...
A hat full of sunshine, is a waiting lover...?
Known for mutual live and lets give the moment...
With but a song to share, are we a sallow order to those?
With a realm to touch and mendacity in the eaves, is again a lament...?
The shyness of veracity, in your hand for ourselves?
That knew the day of your haunt of justice, wantonness
Courage in the affront of thunderous drama, to acquire a force
Of silence and reason in a marvel of distance, as if the name of our blessing...?
A halting dream with shall to swallow, and the instinct...
Of curiosity with a bridge to essential mere, the times are a changing covenant...?
With the shadow of youth, the honor of what was a method succinct...
Tales of sour chance in the good nature of fear, today is a lovers love...?
Mar 27, 2023
Mar 27, 2023 at 10:52 PM UTC
I talked with my parents this morning (they’re in a time zone that’s 6 hours ahead). I’ll be off, back to school, before they get back. They sound very tired, certainly tireder than they did a month ago.
They’re working with “Doctors Without Borders” somewhere in Poland. We have a fiction between us, that they haven’t been in a war zone for the last couple of months, spending 16 (18?) hours a day, in ineffable, meatball surgery - sewing pieces of people back together.
Although our conversation topics are no more important than soap bubbles, they evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions (in me), our mutual deceptions as fragile as eggshells.
Aug 7, 2022
Aug 7, 2022 at 12:09 PM UTC
My life, at this stage,
had worn paper thin
- clipped to a board, hung
at my feet, open to review
with scant reference
to the source material.
My body had been fragmented,
parts selected and cut -
the changes tracked
for future reference.
And there were end notes
(if you were interested).
I was saved for later.
Apr 12, 2022
Apr 12, 2022 at 5:54 AM UTC
I°°° want°°° my°°° ****** to°°° be°°° a°°° mystery°°°
I°°° want°°° a°°° Grove°°° with°°° trees°°°,
Standing°°° tall°°° as°°° can°°° be°°° .
There°°° in°°° the°°° distance°°° in°°° between°°°,
All°°° those°°° trees°°° shadows°°° ,
What°°° lies°°° beneath°°° .
My°°° body°°° layed°°° to°°° rest°°° apon°°° some°°° leaves.°°°
Scene°°° of°°° a°°° suicidal°°° heart°°° surgery°°° .
Knife°°° at°°° hand,°°° looking°°° at°°° the°°° deep°°° cut°°° seems°°°
Pool°°° of°°° blood°°° nobody°°° would°°° want°°° to°°° see °°°.
Stood°°° behind°°° my°°° soulless°°° body°°° .
Lift°°° my°°° own°°° hands ,°°°
Knife°°° cutting°°° softly.°°°
Pulling°°° back°°° the°°° ribs°°° and°°° skin °°°.
Not°°° to°°° find°°° a°°° heart ,°°° just°°° emptiness°°° within°°°.
Looking°°° at°°° the°°° way°°° I°°° laid°°° , how°°° was°°° I°°° to°°° late ?°°°
This°°° took°°° time°°° and°°° pain°°° .
I'm°°° sorry°°° ...
Really°°° no°°° signs°°° of°°° struggle°°° around°°° the°°° scene°°°.
Was°°° it°°° a°°° ****** ,°°° I°°° would°°° say°°° likely°°°.
Why°°° would°°° you°°° say°°° that?,°°° is°°° that°°° what°°° you°°° see°°°.
Yes°°° because°°° it's°°° impossible°°° to°°° do°°° a°°° open°°° heart°°° surgery°°°.
On°°° one's°°° self , °°°°you'd°°° have°°° to°°° be°°° mentally°°° crazy°°° .
I°°° get°°° what°°° your°°° saying,°°° it's°°° just°°° hard°°° to°°° believe°°° .
Walking°°° away°°° from°°° myself ,°°° kinda°°° feeling°°° relieved°°°.
Did°°° I°°° do°°° it ?°°° Did°°° I°°° clean°°° enough°°° of°°° the°°° scene°°°.
And°°° where°°° did°°° I°°° put°°° that°°° heart? ,°°° it°°° must°°° not°°° be°°° seen°°°.
Thoughts°°° dancing°°° in°°° my°°° mind ,°°° creating°°° art ,°°°
Within°°° my°°° soulless°°° body ,°°° this°°° gots°°° to°°° be°°° a°°° dream°°°.
But°°° One°°° thought°°° stuck°°° to°°° me ,°°°
I°°° wanted°°° my°°° ****** to°°° be°° a°°° mystery .°°°
I°°° wanted°°° groves ,°°° with°°° lots°°° of°°° trees°°° .
Just°°° standing°°° tall°°° and°°° alone°°° like°°° me°°°.
And°°° there°°° in°°° the°°° distance°°° an°°° in°°° between°°°.
Now°°° forever°°° my°°° shadow°°° lies°°° beneath°°° me°°°.
My°°° body°°° laid°°° to°°° rest°°° apon°°° soft°°° leaves°°° .
A°°° scene°°° of°°° a°°° suicidal°°° heart°°° surgery°°°.
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 1:37 AM UTC
205 days until I’m free
the biggest weight lifted off my chest
literally
where’s my reflection?
the mirror doesn’t show it
frightening
is the sight of my naked flesh
exhaustion has become too familiar
each day feels like eternity
burying my body in clothes way too big
it brings some comfort
some
Nov 19, 2020
Nov 19, 2020 at 10:13 PM UTC