#suicideprevention
I speak, but it’s like I’m whispering to walls
Words fall through cracks, no one hears my calls
I’m shouting loud, but it’s just empty air
Do they even notice, or do they just not care?
I’m right here, right in front of their eyes
But I’m just a shadow, a ghost in disguise
Would they notice if I disappeared?
Would they see me or just feel relieved?
Am I just noise in the background, unheard?
Am I seen, or ignored?
Would they notice, or am I just ignored?
I give my all, but it’s never enough
Like I’m chasing stars, but they don’t light me up
They smile and pretend like they understand
But the truth is, I’m lost in no-man’s land
I’m reaching out, but no one takes my hand
Just another face they don’t understand
Would they notice if I disappeared?
Would they see me or just feel relieved?
Am I just noise in the background, unheard?
Am I seen, or ignored?
Would they notice, or am I just ignored?
I’m tired of screaming in silence
Of fading without a trace
I want to be more than a ghost in the crowd
I want to find my place
Would they notice if I disappeared?
Would they see me or just feel relieved?
Am I just noise in the background, unheard?
Am I seen, or ignored?
Would they notice, or am I just ignored?
Maybe one day someone will see
The real me, not just what’s on the surface,
And maybe then I’ll finally be free
From being unseen, ignored, in this world’s cold purpose.
May 20
May 20, 2026 at 2:15 PM UTC
A man that is dead, does not mean he is gone
A man that is gone, does not mean he is dead
For a man who is dead, can merely just be alone
And for a man that is gone, could be a soul who is lost
And once a man is alone, he shall not turn to a living soul,
for the help that he desires
Because if he chooses to do so, he will be seen as weak, by all the "passerbyers,"
He wished a person came just to check,
Someone to check on him, someone to see.
For he is alone and lost, until he wraps his neck
And swings from a branch of a tree.
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 11:32 PM UTC
This thought occurred — behind the shed —
A blinding fog inside my head.
Barbed snags, held me there —
Each word a **** too deep to bear.
Silence washed in — time stood still.
The darkness passed — so too the chill.
The story’s end, sunlit leaves will write.
Till then — a shallow breath of life.
—•0•—
Nov 20, 2025
Nov 20, 2025 at 12:30 PM UTC
There’s a girl at school
with porcelain skin,
white as snow—
but her wrists
are covered in red lines.
I had to report it
to the administration.
It was the right thing to do.
I don’t know if she knows
it was me.
But now she lingers
in the principal’s office,
her face even paler,
nauseous,
locking herself
in the bathroom.
I fear I’ve made public
what was sacredly private
in her universe—
and that it may get worse.
My chest feels heavy
imagining what she might do
to herself,
if they don’t care for her
the right way.
Because once,
I was a girl
just like her.
Sep 14, 2025
Sep 14, 2025 at 2:15 PM UTC
Y’know,
the world is flying
right past you now
the water is dark and thrashing
approaching quickly
to flood your lungs
but not before
time floods your mind
with everything
you’re about to lose.
Never again, will you
elbow her in the backseat
dying of laughter
over something
no one else would get
Never see her cap and gown
and smile awkwardly
for a quick family pic
Never hold shaking hands
down the aisle.
The only church you’ll share now—
she’ll be in black,
you’ll be in a box.
Never again, will you feel
the leash tug
after some sly squirrel
Never again hear
a sudden bark
break a silent morning
and never again be greeted
by kisses and tail wags —
not now.
Instead he’ll sit
wondering where you went,
when you’re coming back
Never again, will you
love till your heart hurts
laugh till your ribs ache
cry till your throat’s sore
lie awake contemplating life
feel the familiar burn of the sun.
scream to the sky
just because
Never, experience
the extraordinary mess
that we call life —
ever again
And even if you wanted to—
even if you begged—
it’s too late now.
you’re already
going down.
Jul 22, 2025
Jul 22, 2025 at 12:10 PM UTC
Once for
You
Twice for
You
And a third for
My disappointment
And a third for
The pattern
Mar 19, 2025
Mar 19, 2025 at 4:26 PM UTC
The emptiness: you’re so longing to leave behind the shadows
left behind your eyes; watching quietly all the things that start
to feel so summarized; building memories on every fibre
of your skin, like towers crashing down in their own defeat
as my eyes watch the young die younger, to feel a bit alive
“Do I see dead people,” be ahead of most people- “do I behead
people,” live a once lonely life, cos it comes with no sequel;
but depression, a subtle prequel- subtracting most successful
friends to feel equal. I fudged up: _sugar butter, milk and cream,_
but still don’t feel as sweet as enough
Been so hurt and wounded- “something I also know” Felt so
traumatized to act hospitalized- “something I also know”
Done so much good, to get bad in return- “something I also know”
Gave all your trust just to be damaged- “something I also know”
Tomorrow’s sun seems to bring you darkness- “something I also know” Been in the company of friends that betray you- “something I also know”
The loudness of depression silences you- “something I also know”
Had so much opportunity pass you- “something I also know”
Hanging around those feelings making you want to hang
yourself- “something I also know” Feeling all, you can watch is this
world’s poison, to want to poison yourself- “something I also know”
Tried to give another shot at life, to feel like you want to shoot
yourself- “something I also know” Please let me hear out the pain of
your story, rather than getting to hear your story while
attending your funeral- _the pain you feel is a pain I also know_
Sep 15, 2024
Sep 15, 2024 at 3:58 PM UTC
No pressure to be up today,
blessed or cursed, hold on
the hands in yours may be tiny,
of passion, steady, familiar,
frail or memorial
they touch the same
and need you here x
Dec 25, 2021
Dec 25, 2021 at 5:14 AM UTC
We can talk about suicide
we can
no one will ever want to
but its hands wander wider than you’d think
Each tear you blink on the back of it
is wrought with confusion:
was it?
is it?
can it?
how do I?
what do I?
what should I?
But the truth is lost
like in 7.8 billion
a healthy unhealthy percentage of which
have had enough
and you know some of ‘em
So ask them, yeah?
ask them a lot
repeatedly like an annoying clock
Ask them
Aug 21, 2021
Aug 21, 2021 at 9:54 AM UTC
There are tough days
too much in the way days
heavy in the soul days
no feeling of control days
no clear thought days
no witty retort days
my body is a mess days
where do I confess days
******** in the mirror days
too much to consider days
what if I’d have done that days
where is all the fun at days
picking at the scab days
checking in to rehab days
the I’m no good to anyone days
someone should just shoot me days
there are
but they are days the same as all
and though they may come thick and fast
they fall
so stay x
Aug 12, 2021
Aug 12, 2021 at 8:57 AM UTC
Dreaming in Moonshine
Soaking into songs heard only through
The vibrations of insect wings
Breathing in their scented infusions within a double scene inside another unfolding painted image of what appears to be
A still depleting life
Casting shadows over my restless thoughts of both promise and deceit which constitutes the inner fold of what is love…
the counterfeit of existence
that lends itself to real
What is real (in my world)?
Coming forth to me
in moments in phases from
within
the possible
That lingers until the end of pond’s length containing the infinite drops that continue to fill it up by the immaculate hand of heaven’s reach
entrapping the limits that give shape to such incongruity
(There are always limits in the future even though there are so many possible ones in life- even if there are so many possibilities for us to see, to understand, to believe in, and to experience)
Traipsing into waters unknown
I learn the diligence of the dragonfly who hinges
on existential wings
On this journey of trial and error
I discover freedom wholly through the mystification of my own will and the emancipation of choice
only to be surrounded by the empty court of judgment
Seeing through buzz eyes dripping in nectar
an opalescent tune raises its brow
to trigger
The wind, which blows against the tenderness of heart yet calm and
(flowing) as if through a wand
swaying in the glory
that fate whispers in between the spaces of anorexic branches meeting
How can the iridescence of a sound, of a single word
Press with such kindness and bathe in such grandeur
I am amazed by the purity; by the simple beauty of this world
I recall someone telling me that just once in your life do you meet
the one who gives you the belief you never could find
The deep
stirring
(surge)
of your spate
running inside
the cord of your spine
How is that I am free today?
I wish for immortal meaning :
(self- reproach)
does not lead to fill me
Questioning …
but simply knowing
the stars
As they look to me
and choosing not to shine
on skin
not even
into eyes of gold
they look down on me
mocking insecurity
This is my reality at its core
As they move further
in between their departing
within a space
of sky
do they laugh
subconsciously
behind the falsity
of a perfect smile
looming
while the moon just sits up straight
and smirks beside
with faint and covered faces
squinting eyes
Never hinting
that this could all be just a dream
Unjust Inside these walls
But I know like a dream they will return
to keep me company in the mist (of shadows)
of a nightmare inside
I’m now in battle
to avoid
At times I feel slighted
yet wholly redeemed
I feel respected yet abused beyond all things
and sometimes it feels like I’m standing in front of the altar alone
(on the edge of the dock)
peering down at everybody I’ve ever known
about to dive in
to land on slippery greens floating swiftly in between (the ripples)
I feel chosen
Yet
I feel unseen
Dispraised for the things I’ve done
feeling no pain
do I fade...
Away
into the lambent (lucent)mist of efficacy:
into the Elysian fields of transcendent virtue
And there do I become everything I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever known
Only knowing that Love's darkest form is that of deceit in the illusion of each day, I am still. But more than that, I am still alive.
Thank you for saving my life.
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 8:14 PM UTC
Dedicated to Sophie Smith
I wonder if
you played here as a child?
Did you
hunt for treasure shells
write your name in shingle
snake seaweed around sand kingdoms.
Did you ever throw stones into the ocean
and watch the ripples as they spread?
Maybe
you’d tested yourself before.
Feet sunk into the shoreline,
sea foaming at your ankles
as you made your final choice.
Panic or calm,
fear or resolve.
Nothingness.
I bet
the water had never
seemed so dark.
I hope you numbed quickly
limbs silent
nerves dull
lips salt-fresh and longing
for the end.
Jade Wright
Dec 14, 2020
Dec 14, 2020 at 8:24 AM UTC
Her breath was ice
Was she gone?
Waves of time did not move her
There was no fear
There was no joy
There were no sounds
Where is she?
Here eyes moved slowly
Her movement had intent
But she is not here
She is gone
A victim of her own struggle
Oct 14, 2020
Oct 14, 2020 at 11:42 AM UTC
White walls
Empty beds
Silent nights
They scream loudly
They scream in terror
Lights flashing
Empty hallways
That echo into nothing
Praying to my faith
Praying not to die
Hell has found its new home
I don't want to die
All the voices echoing in my head
I'm not crazy
White walls
I don't want to be here
Oct 13, 2020
Oct 13, 2020 at 1:17 PM UTC
My dog-soul forgets to feed
and starves black,
paces circles for a bed
and with dead weight,
settles
thought and action,
usually smitten with intricacies,
are quietly smothered to nothing
a flat purgatory
scored with white noise, overcast
rendered in a pauper’s palette
on a canvas with no edge
ticks remain untocked
until at some distance
a mechanism is rewound
and a leash jangled
for an ear to lazily lift again
Oct 10, 2020
Oct 10, 2020 at 8:17 AM UTC
Three AM awake, aching with lateness
wrestling alone
even if a significant other is next to you
or little breaths flutter in next rooms
Shadow boxing ridiculous odds
in a world and heart full
of treacle thick worries
weighting your punches ineffectual
just like in the fear-fever dreams
that woke you
You skirt the maw below
resting place of your almighty failures
as the sick orange glow
breaches curtains and makes
familiar shapes judgmental
tut tut tutting at your uselessness
Here, you are defenceless
Here, the black thoughts insinuate,
find cracks to prise and plant suggestions
of a better world without you in it:
the limit of you
Dig deep, my human kin
quietly get up,
make a cup of tea,
write a message or two
to yourself, or for others later
Bide and wait
for the mute loved heaviness of sleep to return
or the welcome thinness of morning light
to wash the darkness back
In the new day, reach out,
with steady voice or bubble-snot,
be heard and seen
by friends or strangers
and try to heal again
Oct 3, 2020
Oct 3, 2020 at 9:03 AM UTC
isn’t it reassuring that a game we play as kids
can teach you that by saying the wrong thing
you can end someone’s life.
Sep 29, 2020
Sep 29, 2020 at 10:10 PM UTC
The friend we all wanted with a smile we all need,
she was funny and loving, just a regular teen.
Black dyed hair with platform heels, nobody noticed she was missing meals.
A song in her head with a knife in her heart,
these rude little kids were tearing her apart.
"Too skinny." "Too fat." "Too this." "Too that,"
This confused little girl was getting kicked to the mat.
Teenage life is a struggle alone,
but she was being bullied and had problems at home.
We spoke up and spoke out, but the school swept it away.
A perfect reputation was bound to stay that way.
Sep 17, 2020
Sep 17, 2020 at 4:21 AM UTC
One last phone call
Then you were gone
Trying to make sense of it
But no sense came at all.
Your smile and joy
You decided to quit
however I know
it was all a decoy
Your heart was broken
you felt so low
You tried so hard
many words unspoken
I know you are watching
And keeping guard
Life is all good
like you always said
Until we meet again
Be proud of all you withstood
I’ll send my love up there instead.
Sep 9, 2020
Sep 9, 2020 at 11:18 AM UTC
Another day I struggle to reach its
darkened end
Battling cryptic thoughts which my
demons send
Amidst this emptiness I find myself
withering away
Neither caring nor am I wanting to
see another day
Depression is an uninvited friend
that will not leave
Obstinate that it speaks only truth
when trying to deceive
No one can be found to convince me
it is only lies
Emptiness that surrounds me
somehow it multiplies
Depression
Erases
All
The
Hope
ChillNPsyco
Aug 22, 2020
Aug 22, 2020 at 2:03 PM UTC
you are so precious
your smile and laugh are infectious
you truly are my little sunshine
yet you wish you were dead?
you wish you no longer existed?
don't you know how much it pains me to hear that?
you think you need me?
baby, i need YOU
i can't even imagine a world without you
please don't leave
i promise, it can't rain forever
at the end of the day
you are my little sunshine, remember?
Jul 12, 2020
Jul 12, 2020 at 11:42 PM UTC
Stand arboreally tall,
present a strength,
represent stability,
provide a safe place,
wide-branched sanctuary,
hold rooted principles,
speak truth to power,
til the hour you break and tumble,
your fingers thumbs
and your heart falling
numbed
senses bent, thoughts fraying,
tattered threads evasive,
the very idea of existence,
position,
self,
buckles
Far-sightedness retracts,
a fancy contra-zoom,
Hitchcockian,
eyes locked on your two feet,
tip-toes edged up
against your own precipice,
your own private void
We all feel this
sooner or later,
but its ridiculous melodrama
stills our tongues to tell,
til we’re left believing
we’re the only losers facing hell
To speak is strong,
to cry courageous,
to panic and dread next steps, next breaths,
is human
I pledge to listen, ask for the same
and beg that next time
we keep shooting the breeze
until the ledge fades
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 10:18 AM UTC
Ala una
Alas dos
Alas tres
Dilat ang mga matang
Gising na gising
May nakatingin?
Mga namumulang mata
Na umaaligid
Hindi lang sa kwarto
Pati sa panaginip,
PArang papaTAYin ka sa sakal
sa oras na pipikit,
Dadaganan ka
Sa oras na nagdidilim,
Ano ba mga ito
Hindi NAman kayo ginugulo
Wala AKOng gusto
Hindi ko kayo kailangan ngayon
Sino ba kayo
Wala akong ginawa
Gusto ko lang matulog
Ng mapayapa,
Tulong
Tulong
Tulong
Hindi ko kayang mahayo
Mga demonyong umaaligid
Ilang gabi na silang
Bumabalik
Hindi ko na kayang mapatagal
Mga nakikita
Mga nararamdaman
Mga demonyo
Baka gusto nilang
Ako nalang ang mawala?
Feb 22, 2020
Feb 22, 2020 at 4:53 PM UTC
I've contemplated it, wrote it, pondered it
Cried out for it, and attempted it you see
I keep all my ropes now in the garage
There they are of greater use to me
I moved the radio from the bathroom
I now prefer classic melodies
I put my razors behind the mirror
I'm gonna let my hair get shaggy
And all my pills went down the toilet
And there they can't bother me
I used to lock away these horrid thoughts
But to heal I must set them free
I won't lie and say the thought doesn't still come
Like a quiet thief in the night with a loaded gun
There will always be this darkest part of me
But now I try to share my thoughts in forms of poetry
And I hope there is no end to the line for us
Feb 22, 2020
Feb 22, 2020 at 7:58 AM UTC