#suicidenotes
to the man who should have been a dad
I really hope you aren't mad
and learn to teach the littles
beating kids is bad.
you should have been there when i cried out
to catch me and raise me up
not drunk
or drugged
with a belt in hand
for crimes i never committed
please be better for Monica and Henry
and teach them to love its all I ask
To the mother who tried her best
rarely taking time to rest
you did good providing wealth to your family
but the area that you did lack
was finding time to come back
and in all fairness
you did not set
an honest game
i came in last amongst my siblings.
black sheep black sheep was my name
you fixed it perfectly while you sang
So please do try to forget
this child u did so regret
as i left this earth
And to the kids i was raised with
even if you hide behind a mask of rage
i know you love me, page after page.
Homo-Transphobic you may be
twas not your fault you hhated me.
when evil's all u grow to know
then does darkness-based truth doth show.
don't be sad, or feel so haunted
you shall know, this is what i wanted.
Sep 2, 2025
Sep 2, 2025 at 11:08 PM UTC
1. I don't even know how to start this letter. Something within me just had enough courage to.
2. I always imagined this would happen without warning.
3. I know how much you hate reading, but can you at least read this.
4. I wish I could have been more honest with you. I should have never bottled up my emotions; now look at me, I'm a mess.
5. Can you laugh at my joke one more time? I really like the way your cheeks puff up and blush pink.
6. Have I ever told you that you have a nice smile?
7. Let's go to the park, I want to see the sunset before I go.
8. Thank you so much for spamming me memes at 3am.
9. I've been saving money for a special event, I'm doubting you'll like it.
10. When I was 11, on Halloween I finally gathered everything I needed in order to be Batman. Rope, blades and boomerangs. I kept them in a box just in case if I needed to use them in the future.
11. I came home on Sunday and found your favorite black scarf. I wore it tightly around my neck; I can feel your warmth, it even smells like you.
12. How can something you love so mush just disappear right in front of your eyes.
13. I can show you how we can be together forever. But it'll take more time for you.
14. I bought you your favorite ice cream, cookies and cream. I left it in the freezer. But remember, when it melts, I won't be there to clean it up for you.
15. Don't worry, I'll try harder next time.
16. You don't need to make me your famous mashed potatoes and gravy. I'll be out of town. But oh man, I'll sure miss eating that.
17. I love you more than you'll ever know. But I'm not sorry.
18. You don't have to bring flowers, I don't want them to set off your allergies.
Jul 18, 2019
Jul 18, 2019 at 7:00 PM UTC
Dear 2020,
Yesterday I proved that you can make a noose out of a belt if it is long enough. And yes, it will hurt for a moment before it tightens, but isn't that deserved? Yes. I fastened it around my neck and pulled, just for that choking feeling. Now, that feeling haunts me.
And I keep writing suicide notes, but I don't really like any of them. Then I thought, why am I bothering? These letters are my suicide notes! They show perfectly my anguish, my feelings. They show that better than anything else I could write.
I... I am scared of death, somehow. Although I seem to want it so badly. Wait. Wait, no. I have to stay positive, remember? I promised myself and someone up above that I would stay positive in the hopes that then... yes. I shall stay positive.
Love always,
Hollin
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 8:33 PM UTC