#suicidenote
You said the greatest thing i could do is die,
So i wrote you a letter
Saying goodbye.
It looked like a love letter,
And for you it was,
I tried to make your life better,
Getting rid of all of my flaws
By getting rid of myself.
I said i'll go to hell,
But it's okay cuz i made life heaven for you.
However, you started crying,
Saying you regret your words,
And that you didn't want me dying.
It's too late.
Sep 20, 2025
Sep 20, 2025 at 12:52 PM UTC
everything is all right now
it's okay
everything is the way it's supposed to be
go to sleep
you're good enough
close your eyes
close your eyes
take off your clothes
you're good enough
take off your clothes
i'm thinking of ending things
yesterday i woke up on the phone
buildings rearranged
all the scarecrows
and everything
everything's ending.
Jan 21, 2022
Jan 21, 2022 at 1:10 PM UTC
Don't put the rope to your neck
It's ok to go berserk
Don't take the poison
This phase is just for a season
Don't pull the trigger
God is bigger
He will wipe away your sorrows
And give life to your marrows
Nov 6, 2021
Nov 6, 2021 at 6:09 PM UTC
In the space of two hours i wrote
a suicide note,
and a love letter.
I posted them the
love letter.
Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020 at 11:30 AM UTC
wishing for calm
trying to keep it peaceful
i don't feel good, so don't start
it's a lot of bad things
don't start, i won't struggle
won't tell them ****
won't tell them
i wanna die
don't miss me, don't wish for me
make sure you outlive me
hope it goes down as g.o.d.
there'd be no me
it was god's plan
hope it was god's plan
Sep 10, 2020
Sep 10, 2020 at 8:49 PM UTC
bye,
i love you,
see you on the other side
i'm done trying to hide
what you didn't see, and i denied
i guess at least i can say i tried
to make sure that when i died
you'd be one of them that cried.
bye,
i love you,
see you on the other side
i was too afraid to confide
when i decided i should just die
i guess i always had too much pride
i hope now you're satisfied
now i've committed suicide.
bye,
i still love you,
see you on the other side.
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 12:47 AM UTC
For five years I kept a suicide note in a glittery pink heart-shaped box in the bottom of my closet
Until one day I was strong enough to tear it up and throw it away
This summer I saved a suicide note to my desktop
And I don't know when I'll be strong enough to press delete
Sep 11, 2019
Sep 11, 2019 at 11:33 AM UTC
Who am I ?
In a world full of people
Who am I ?
I'm running round in circles
I
Don't understand
Why
I still can't stand
Up by myself
I'm trying
To find who I am
I'm crying
I don't know who I am
I won't ask for help
Because if you knew how I felt
You'd always run away
I won't ask for help
Because I don't know what I would say
But I swear I'm trying
Though every night I go to sleep crying
I feel like my heart is slowly dying
But I swear
I'm trying
I really hope one day
It will all be okay
But I'm not really sure about much
I know I've said it before
I can't do this anymore
When everything dies at my touch
And everyday I wake up
I layer on the make-up
I'll brush my hair
And say I don't care
When deep inside it's killing me
So hard when my mind is willing me
To give up and let go
You'll never go with the flow
Just give up and write that letter
You'll feel so much better
So I'm writing that letter
I still don't feel much better
I still don't know
Who am I ?
In a world full of people
Who am I ?
I'm running round in circles
My cuts are getting deeper
And I think I'm seeing flickers
I would really just like to know who I am
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 7:36 AM UTC
Pain used to inspire me to write.
Words would flow easily through my fingers,
substituting my tears.
I used to draw my pain. I painted my canvas with feelings,
and emotions, that words could not express.
If things started to feel hopeless, music was my saviour.
I would write lyrics, amplifying the words with sad tunes,
spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts.
But now, the pain is so strong, it is all I can think of.
My thighs are covered in scars,
from when the pain got so bad, that I needed to bleed it out.
Now, I realize, that I have drained myself.
There´s no tears, no words, no paint, no blood
left,
to spill.
May 14, 2019
May 14, 2019 at 7:08 AM UTC
call me selfish
i'll be too dead to care.
i burned for everyone i could,
i tried to be the
l i g h t
of their life.
eventually i started to
f l i c k e r,
my wick disintegrated
and i burnt out.
my
f a i t h
saved me time and time again.
my
g o d
is perfect and kind and loving and forgiving.
my god knows i tried, i
f o u g h t.
but somehow after everything, my brain has gone.
where did it go?
i wish i knew.
so now i must go find it.
now i must
g o.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 11:12 PM UTC
You don't notice the new scars on my arm... They've been there for a while now... I made some new ones today... I just feel so alone in this world... Like no one really cares... I just think my mental illness is getting the better of me... And honestly I'm not going to fight it any more... So one day you'll probably come home and see me lying on the floor, cold, lifeless... But know that I'm at peace...I'm happier now... I cant make you happy anymore... And that's totally okay. I'm content with that... But the fact that you're still staying with me... It puzzles me... Why stay with a suicidal maniac... A crazy
person... I need to be in a mental hospital... Locked away... In a straight jacket... Where I cant cause anymore harm... To you or to myself... But you don't notice the scars, you ignore the signs... I cry... A lot... You don't notice the fake smile... That I'm wearing this mask... I'm taking it off tonight... Maybe you'll realize before its too late... Then again you probably wont... Its not your fault... I'm just really good at acting... You don't realize
the pain... The constant struggle i have with myself... To be... Perfect... You don't realize the hurt.. When my tears hit the pillow and you're not there... But its okay. I forgive you... Just hope you can forgive me... One day... You don't realize the sadness... But you'll realize it... That day... That day that I'm gone...
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 9:12 PM UTC
I....I can't breathe
It all started when my feet hit the floor
I walked out of my room and heard whispers
You no longer look at me anymore
With every step I took
I wanted to cry out
My legs just shook
I went back to my room
I can't decide whats better
a coffin or this tomb
I feel nothing... absolutely nothing
I cried it all out the night before
So I sit at my computer and write a little note
This time my words won't be ignored
As I write my heart beats faster
DOES ANYONE CARE!! DOES NO ONE NOTICE?!?
Look.... I want to apologize to our pastor
You'll stand up on stage
to say some half *** message
While my mother cries
as you read the rehearsed words on your page
How many people showed up?
Or did people stay home
because I was a **** up ?
Did he come?.. see he was my last straw
Did he look at my casket and wished he would've texted me back
when I reached out vulnerable and raw
Did he cry?
I hope he did
cause he gave up on me
so i figured, why even try
I'm sorry to my sister
The pain got worse..I stopped talking
every word was a tongue twister
I prayed for the end...and it came
My cries echoed off the walls
To say my death was an accident
would be just to avoid the blame
Yes I believe God was with me that night
The demons left when he came down to hold me
His tears washed away the hurt
As my lungs finally gave up the good fight
He spared my soul ...well what little was left
I'm in the clouds now
Wishing my life wasn't a victim of theft
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 8:12 PM UTC
To the teachers who never really cared and ignored my problems;
To my fellow ***** “misfits”, etc. Who will no doubt receive more abuse upon my passing, as my tormentors will no longer have me to push around;
To those who never cared, never spoke, probably never knew my name;
To the one true friend, whose caring was the only thing that prevented this event from happening sooner;
To the God, if he does exist, who chose to play a cruel, cruel joke on me when he placed me where he did and surrounded me with so many uncaring faces;
What about my teachers? Will they be sorry to see another student become a statistic? Certainly the administration and Principal will mourn, as my death will not reflect well on them as an institution. Well, I apologize for making the statistics for your administration worse. But I don’t expect an apology for the false sympathies of people.
As for my fellow students, those who made a more significant impact on my life, I know better than to expect my tormentors to mourn.
There’s another group I have not yet addressed: those not like me who left me alone. Or should I say ignored me. I appreciate you sparing me any further harassment, but your inaction, your withheld hellos and how are you’s did more hurt than any name calling. Your inaction effectively excluded me from student life, from the human race. You left me isolated and alone, and no words I could say can convey to you the suffering you caused. I could name names, but in doing so, I would do more now for you than you ever did for me in life.
I do not know what awaits me when I get down off this rope. Will there be a void? Or will I come face to face with God? I just don’t care anymore. If you’re anything like your people, I wouldn’t want to know you. You preached to love one another, yet I’ve felt everything except love from Christians. Even if I knew you were different, well, I'd still reject you. You have left your “followers” to treat people like me poorly. You have allowed so many of the people you “love”, including me, to suffer. So you want me to trust you with my life? I don’t want to spend eternity with a careless deity like you, or with the company you keep.
I’m trying to watch TV but I don’t know what I’m watching. It’s so lonely here. I want to sleep but it just won’t come. I’m so tired of hurting and being alone.
I hope that with my death, there'll be a wider awareness for child abuse and the effects it could have on a person. That's the only wish I have right now. A lot of people will be hurt with my passing, disappointed even, or maybe it won't matter. But I'd like to believe, no matter how much of a ****** up person I am, I died for a cause greater and bigger than myself. That's the only consolation that I have right now.
So that’s it. That’s me. Leaving the world to be a better place.
Goodbye - T
© Copyright Tyler Atherton
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 6:41 AM UTC
Paradise
Golden sunsets and honey dripping skin
Violet blues running through my oceans
The blazing wind playing violin strings
Euphoria beautifully decorating my pain
Where no clocks will tick, time isn't measured
Actions are said more than mere little words
Where pain no longer exists though my broken
That is where I'm headed my friends
My sins I will pay, my Lord please forgive me
In a home I found you Jesus, one I never knew existed
In my last hour I say a truthful prayer
That the Lord welcome me home with open arms
No more tears and no more scars
My heart has no more broken
My soul is at peace
My mind is outspoken
Don't cry for my death
For it would have come one day
I pushed the hands of time early
And now I lay, happy and at peace
In Paradise.
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 4:15 PM UTC
Life is unfair and very unkind
I wish things were different
I’m crying
I can’t even write
I’m drowning
I wish I was never born
I’m sick
of gasping at the surface,
so finally, I'll drown.
I’m ready
to embrace my death
When silence triumphs sound.
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 3:32 PM UTC
If I die today, do not weep,
For I am just in a peaceful sleep.
If I die today, don't be sad.
Instead, at me just be mad.
If I die today, please forget me,
Leave the memory of me be.
Because I'm not worthy.
I'm helpless.
A lost cause.
Hopeless.
So, if I die today, just leave me
To rot in the ground under a tree.
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 4:58 PM UTC
Sun at its peak, everything outside is so bright,
but her room is giving a horrific sight.
She stands in front of mirror wearing his favorite dress.
Her reflection looks back at her, asking
"who are you?"
She touches her lips, closes her eyes.
"You're a freak and I love it. Can you be mine?"
She opens her eyes wide,
as woke up from a nightmare,
or maybe it was only a haunted memory.
But something is breaking inside.
She picks up lipstick, paints her lips red.
Looks damaged but but beautiful outside.
"I love you so much. You're the best thing happened to me. Stay with me forever. You're my life."
She walks towards the side table.
A suicide note is waiting there to get read.
Burning it with her lighter, she smiles.
"Why are you so depressed all time? What is bothering you?
Why you get this anxiety? You got me baby. Its all fine."
She turns and makes her calendar marked 6th of July.
Putting all pain behind,
she lefts a sigh of relief as if the beast,
that stalks her is duped forever.
"Why are you so possessive? I hate it.
How can you have a lot of Internet friendships but no friends in real? You gotta change yourself."
She walks through the door.
A new life is ahead her.
"No you don't have to change yourself this way. Don't be childish."
She is going down through stairs.
"There is nothing normal with you. You always exaggerate things. Sometimes I hate even myself to be with you."
Suddenly she hears a phone ring coming out of her room.
Her stomach drops.
"Things are not working out baby I'm sorry..."
She is going back to her room.
"We must get separated."
Her hands trembling, her heart making a one last wish.
"Why did you cut your wrist? I hate you even more now"
Mommy's text was there that she might get late today.
"You're a freak. Get out of my life."
She smashes her phone into mirror.
She is done with being all fine.
She is not going outside now to show the world that she is strong.
Her screams filling the room.
"I love you please come back."
But only echoes are there laughing back at her.
And here she goes
writing again a suicide note.
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 11:50 PM UTC
Corroded reflections see through
the visage of my life I'm just a shadow
puppet of existence and this is
my gift to those I love.
*"I'm a vacant lot of amore,
"Loving others is now a hollow chorus.*
*"I've loved each of you like death greets
a dying man, I feel nothing anymore.*
*"Looking beneath me, I'm a collection of
oxidized memories, each if drowning within me.*
*"Children where my anchor, but that ship sank
beneath the waves of my own hurricane of despair.*
My censorship will now collect on others, satisfied that
I have worded this, as it dries my breath fades out.
I was a chorus of lullabies, now I wonder off to the quiet
place where my troubles delicately fade out....
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 4:24 PM UTC
Hello & Goodbye
All melodramatics aside,
maybe I’ll die tomorrow,
I ask myself every day,
what am I living for anyways,
sure I’ve got my friends,
friends such as you,
but honestly after I’ve given up the ghost and gone,
maybe you’ll mourn a bit but then that’ll be it,
I’m sick with something drugs can’t cure so why not quit,
I mean I’m bored of this life anyways,
I suppose I can’t go until my parents die though,
because no parent should ever see their son pass,
or daughter,
I authored,
a collection of poetry larger,
than any other author every who bothered,
to even write poetry,
and this includes Emily Dickinson,
but I’m not here to compare,
I’m here to make a statement,
all melodramatics aside,
maybe I’ll die tomorrow,
I ask myself every day,
what am I living for anyways,
chasing my addictions,
not the least of which is women,
not to objectify women,
but honestly every thing and one is a drug,
even you,
even me,
even the words,
that create this poetry,
I’m searching,
for some relief,
or at least,
something to fill the hole in my heart,
I’m missing something,
and I can’t quite find what it is,
I suppose it’s difficult to get what you’re looking for,
if you don’t know what what your looking for is,
fck this,
and no I didn’t mean to cuss,
but sometimes that happens,
when recording stream of consciousness,
this is me,
in all my honestness,
no apologies no excuses,
just these thoughts that turn into muses,
that I’ve learned to describe,
in away attractive enough to get paid,
two #1 books in a row,
and I just give all the profits away,
randomly picking a charity,
because any charity can use the money better than I can,
I just spend it out speeding up my time of death,
and I can’t help it but don’t blame me it’s not like it was part of my plan,
I’ve given all that I can,
dedicated my everything to the words that compose these books,
I’ve sacrificed any resemblance of a normal life,
so that others can live and learn through these words,
I have no children,
and I left every good woman that wanted to marry me,
what many don’t understand is in order to be one of the greats,
you have to dedicate your whole life to the craft,
and that makes for a lonely road,
I guess that’s why every artist is disturbed,
but it’s the pain in the poetry that numbs the pains of reality,
and this much I’ve begrudgingly understood,
since I when I started writing,
wrote my way back from suicide,
had slashed my wrist ready to reset,
because sometimes to really live you’ve gotta die,
I write,
at a fervorous pace,
making up words as I go no time to conform to literary norms,
I’ve got a date with Destiny and we have History to make.
Get it?
A date with Destiny,
get married and have a baby called History,
it’s just another parallel analogy,
see I’m a double entendre monster with this poetry,
addicted to the way these words feel,
like I’m addicted to the way a women feels,
for the love of God,
I love her so much in this surreal world sometimes she’s the only one that feels real,
please,
come here,
hold me I’m slipping,
I’m losing sight of life I need a reminder why I’m alive,
I need you,
I’m not joking,
alone as a tombstone on a deserted island with no cemetery,
alone as a miner trapped in a coal mine or rather as alone as the canary,
feeling sick from the carbon monoxide and other toxins that this civilization spews,
and like I said before all melodramatics aside I’m lost and ready to die but that’s old news,
there is no new news,
I’ve done it all win lose or draw,
I’ve played every game walked every avenue,
I’ve written everything I’ve seen and I’ve seen it all,
so all melodramatics aside,
maybe I’ll die tomorrow,
I ask myself every day,
what am I living for anyways,
sure I’ve got my friends,
friends such as you,
but honestly after I’ve given up the ghost and gone,
maybe you’ll mourn a bit but then that’ll be it,
my body will die but my books will still live,
because every word I write is given as a gift,
I was given this gift of gab so I use it,
to scribe our collective consciousness,
it’s a ***** job but somebody’s got to do it,
so I guess I’ve been elected with is fine it’s not like I have any kids,
and sure when I’m gone I might be missed,
but you’ll always have my books and I’ll live through these words,
immortalized like a statue of stone erected in the museum of life,
I’ll take this one for the team don’t worry I’ll be just fine,
I,
I,
I,
I feel sick,
I’m ready to sleep,
I’ve given this world every word that ever came to me,
now please,
just let me be,
lonely as an abandoned house becomes,
after all the children have grown and gone away,
after the parents become old and pass,
and nature begins to reclaim every inch of him,
ivy grows along the outer walls,
tree roots crack the foundation,
the roof finally caves from the incessant rains of time,
and the soul of the home is sent to another destination,
I’ve been waiting,
for someone anyone to come here and hold me,
to tell me that they are here that they love me and will never leave me,
but no one’s come yet and if they did and they said that they’d be lying because everyone eventually leaves,
Hello,
goodbye,
I’m,
leaving,
all melodramatics aside,
maybe I’ll die tomorrow,
I ask myself every day,
what am I living for anyways…
∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
24/08/16
Sintra, Portugal
Aug 25, 2016
Aug 25, 2016 at 8:35 PM UTC
"Mom and Dad, I'm sorry;
I just can't take it anymore.
If you're reading this,
You must have busted down the door.
For too long I have suffered,
And you have never known.
You never saw that I was slipping,
Never heard a single moan.
All those friends you thought I had,
They were never really there.
But there was another girl-
This one that truly cared.
You may not have noticed,
But this girl cared enough to see
That I was locked up in depression,
And she tried to set me free.
'Don't take yourself from me!"
She begged, shedding another tear.
I told her she was selfish
to ask me to stay here.
Several times, she saved my life,
But this time it was no use.
Tell her not to blame herself;
The world tied my noose.
Tell her that I'm sorry;
I know she'll make it on her own.
Tell her I said, despite the pain,
She's the best friend I've ever known.
I'm sick of gasping at the surface,
so finally, I'll drown.
I'm ready to embrace my death
When silence triumphs sound."
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 3:23 AM UTC
I guess you could say this is my goodbye;
I can't continue anymore.
I'm sorry.
You would understand if you were in my position,
But you're not,
So you won't.
To this person and that person: I love you.
To you: live a full and happy life;
Forget me;
Move on.
This is the here and now.
I may be gone, but you're not.
Stay strong, don't cry over me - I'm not worth it.
Jun 12, 2016
Jun 12, 2016 at 7:18 AM UTC