It's been 2 years since I last wrote
I fell in love again
It's been 6 months
More
And this time, I'm not drowning in an ocean
My legs dangle in the warmth of a rock pool while the sun warms my face
But in the back of my mind, I know there's an expiration date
I know the day will end
And I will have to leave the beach
Feb 19, 2023
Feb 19, 2023 at 5:16 PM UTC
'I don't want you waiting for me, that just breeds resentment and anger.'
I understand, I do
Where you were coming from when you broke up with me
I understand the fear that I might be waiting for you out of obligation, or cowardice
But now we're broken up, have been for over a month
I've said and done some stupid things since then
But only because I didn't want to accept
What I really think now
Is the truth
That I still want to wait for you
We aren't together, there's no obligation for me to wait for you any more
You've given me a ticket out, a door to escape through
After all the pain and suffering
And I've been standing on the threshold
And perhaps glimpses of what lies beyond the door have been tempting
But I'm closing the door now
Still on the same side as you
Because I'm choosing to wait
No strings attached
This is the choice I'm making
Perhaps it isn't the right one
But I don't think it's the wrong one
So I will sit here, and I will wait
And maybe one day, you'll want to try again as well
And we can build something new together
On the glittering ashes of what we had
Feb 9, 2021
Feb 9, 2021 at 4:20 PM UTC
I can't forgive you
I can't take you back
So why do I want you to come
And take me in your arms
And tell me it will all be okay?
Tell me you still love me
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 3:38 AM UTC
You told me
Texting/Being online/The internet made you feel sick and uncomfortable
That your anxiety couldn't handle it
And I believed you
I made myself believe that that made it okay when you ignored me for days on end
But now I realise
You lied to me
I made you feel sick
You were able to talk to other people
I saw when my best friend came to stay with me
It was me in particular you were ignoring
Which isn't fair because I never did anything wrong
And maybe you were just trying to protect my feelings
But instead you've hurt me more than you know
You've left me broken
And too scared to fall in love again
I hope you're happy
Jan 30, 2021
Jan 30, 2021 at 5:37 AM UTC
Never fall in love with a poet.
They'll cut you with pretty words
And leave your heart bleeding out like ink on a page.
Jan 24, 2021
Jan 24, 2021 at 6:41 PM UTC
i'm a self destructive person
so i relate to the lines
'fine, make me your villain'
because sometimes i'll make myself the villain on purpose
because i think it's easier than letting someone try to forgive me
maybe i really am the villain
Jan 23, 2021
Jan 23, 2021 at 7:54 PM UTC
you told me your heart stopped
tell me
when it started again
was that when you became sick of being with me?
Jan 21, 2021
Jan 21, 2021 at 1:17 PM UTC
It happened again
I tried to count to ten
But this time it just didn’t work
And now I’m in bed
With these thoughts in my head
About how you must think I’m a ****
How do I explain
How I’m in so much pain
When you’re hurting too
I should just go to sleep
But all I can think
Is what do I say to you?
I try to pretend
But I’m crying to my friends
On the phone to them every night
And through the tears I yell
While I’m asking ‘What the hell
Must I do to set this right?
How do I explain
How I’m in so much pain
When you’re hurting too
I should just go to sleep
But all I can think
Is what do I say to you?’
They say give it time
But I can’t control it
And now I’m just repeating
I’m sorry, I love you
I’m sorry, I love you
I’m sorry, I love you
I love you
Maybe now I realise
I need to respect your disguise
Or else I will lose you
And so I’ll go to sleep
Instead of trying to think
About what I should say to you
Dec 1, 2020
Dec 1, 2020 at 8:18 PM UTC