#stillhere
I forced doors that would not open
called it love because it hurt
Hands reaching out for me felt too easy
so I chose distance and named it desire
I have mistaken longing for meaning
confused silence for depth
Maybe love is not the one I chase exhausted
but the one that stays even when I stop running
And maybe first I have to become someone who can even hold it
when it arrives, it will be worth it.
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 12:21 AM UTC
It starts with doing things without them.
Memory still eats away at the room.
New faces who barely know my name
don’t erase anything.
The body keeps score.
I still feel it—
that sunken drop in my stomach
when I see your friends.
A car that looks like yours
still pulls my mind somewhere else.
But it doesn’t take me all the way anymore.
I notice it…
and I keep moving.
Memories still show up,
but they don’t stay like they used to.
I’m learning...
how to live in the after
without falling back into the before.
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 12:17 AM UTC
Still Here:
I don’t owe anyone an explanation
Not for my fake smile, not for my silence, not for the nights I can’t find sleep
People look at me and think they know
But they don’t feel the noise in here
The looping thoughts, the heaviness that drags me under
The ache I’ve carried longer than I can remember
Being alive hurts
It’s not about surviving, it’s about feeling everything too much
The grief that clings, the joy that slips away too fast
Sometimes I wonder if I’m stitched together by all the things I’ve lost
If that’s all healing really is
Learning to walk with holes where pieces used to be
I get tired of pretending
Tired of acting like I’m not cracked, like I’ve figured it out
Because I haven’t
Some days just getting out of bed feels like a war no one sees
And I want to scream that existing shouldn’t be this hard
But then the quiet comes and I remember if it hurts this much, it means I’m still here
It means I still care
Healing isn’t clean
It’s bleeding into my own hands and still choosing to keep going
It’s sitting in the dark and waiting for a reason
And maybe that reason is that the sun always comes up
Whether I want it to or not
I don’t need anyone to name me
I don’t need them to understand
This is my life, messy, scarred, and unfinished
But it’s mine
And if that’s what it means to be alive
Then I will take it and embrace it
Even with the grief
Even with the ache
Even with all of it
-Jacob Malone
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 12:12 AM UTC
Some days the pressure feels so loud
it drowns out everything else—
school deadlines stacking up,
parents nagging like alarms you can’t shut off,
friends fading into people you used to know.
It’s exhausting pretending you’re fine
when your head is anything but.
When every small mistake feels huge,
and every quiet moment feels too loud.
You sit there thinking,
*Why does this feel so **** heavy?*
Why does getting through the day
feel like climbing a hill no one else sees?
And maybe you’ve had thoughts
you don’t know how to say out loud,
feelings you hide because
you don’t want to worry anyone
or be seen as “too much.”
But here’s the truth—
you’re not crazy for feeling this way.
You’re not weak.
And you are definitely not alone.
A lot of us are walking these same halls
carrying invisible weight,
smiling in class while fighting battles
no one else can see.
You’re still here.
Still breathing.
Still trying, even when it feels pointless as hell.
And that matters more than you think.
You don’t have to go through this quietly.
You don’t have to carry it by yourself.
There are people who want to listen,
who want to help,
who care more than you realize.
This feeling won’t last forever—
even if right now it feels endless.
Hold on.
Reach out.
And remember: you are not alone in this.
Apr 16
Apr 16, 2026 at 9:37 AM UTC
Funny how the most guarded people are often the most sentimental too.
I still carry a part of all the people I’ve loved before.
I’m sure you’ll still find in me traces and bits that say ‘you were here.’
And I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing; it just means that I love few and rarely, but I love deep.
And that the love felt— no matter how short or long it lasted— was real.
Nov 14, 2021
Nov 14, 2021 at 7:08 PM UTC
I'm here. You're here. It's a good day.
Nice idea, right?
But it doesn't always work that way.
Sometimes, the skies are gray.
And you don't have the energy
To find words to say.
Some days, people go away
And you can't help but feel betrayed.
But you know what?
We're still here. We still remember.
So it's still a good day.
Feb 1, 2020
Feb 1, 2020 at 7:44 PM UTC
Had forgotten about my existence?!🤔
That's so brutally honest
But Honestly, I have never forgotten about the short time we shared together
You cross my mind once in a while
Reason why I had to look you up here on the Gram
Just to see new pics of u all in vain and it's like u gave up in Facebook
It takes me quite some time to move on and I have found out it's one of my weaknesses.
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 8, 2020 at 7:35 AM UTC
Burning in my throat,
Burning in my chest.
Is it just my guilt?
Or am I not at my best?
Lots of mistakes,
Lots of regrets.
I keep making more,
A failure in the wets.
Never drying up.
Still sensitive as a droplet.
Falling into a hole.
Dug by what will follow it.
But I fight to not wallow in it,
Otherwise I might drown.
I only stay heartless.
Or angry,
Just not a frown.
Jan 15, 2019
Jan 15, 2019 at 10:55 AM UTC
I've never felt so empty before
Never felt so numb
..
Actually, i'm not sure if i'm feeling
numb
empty
or both
I feel as if my legs will give up any
second now
and i'll breakdown crying
Poking the tips of my finger with a pencil
reassuring I can still feel
reassuring i'm still here
But am I truly?
At times I feel as if
i've left for awhile
Am I back or still missing?
If only I can escape
to some fantasy world
where I can truly disappear
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 21, 2018 at 12:10 PM UTC
If I could be there, I would hold your hand to give hope when needed.
If I could be there, I would wrap my arms around you and blanket you in my given warmth.
If I could be there, I would lend my ears and listen your woes, dreams, and hopes.
If I could be there, I would gaze into your eyes as so you could see the joy in them from you.
If I could be there, I would encourage you always to let you know how much you can accomplish.
If I could be there, I would offer my time and shoulders as to lean on when needed.
If I could be there, I would speak kind words and say how a Beautiful soul you are.
If I could be there, I would show just how much more wonderful you made knowing you, the best of my days.
Although I cannot be there, know that I will still stand by your side.
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 11:28 PM UTC
By AB
All I ever needed was a pretty girl,
All I ever needed was a care in the world,
All I ever needed was a good group of friends,
Turned out to be ********
So I made some ends,
And in the end,
To end the end,
Of what your end is,
I was real ,
But you pretend,
Wrong answer,
Retake the pop quiz,
I was careful the first time,
When I met all of you,
And so begins,
And for that,
I'm coming for all of you,
The mafia is crumbling,
Melanie found the forbidden fruit,
Ate it then died,
The ***** was never bright,
So true,
I knew one day I would become a better leader than you,
Your display of putting together teams were so despicable,
Prisms,
We rise above whatever you put out,
This year is also mine so give it all you got,
The mafia should know that it always goes south,
Since the ************* throwing little slick shots.
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 6:59 PM UTC
1
Falling
2
Help me
3
I can't control this
4
No one can hear me
5
I should let go
6
Falling
7
Not worth it
8
Drowning
9
Breathing
10
Still Living
Aug 1, 2014
Aug 1, 2014 at 6:07 PM UTC
When I look in the mirror
I close my eyes sometimes
And when I open them...
I'm still here.
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 12:41 AM UTC